(no subject)

[skygiants]

Disorganized thoughts on Snow White and the Huntsman!



- that movie made zero sense in a lot of ways
- and yet I am totally okay with that, because it made no sense in all the ways that Classic Epic Fantasy about a Destined Chosen King-To-Be makes no sense, except about a Destined Chosen Queen-To-Be, and you know what, still not enough of that out there! So rock on, movie. COMMIT to your bad fantasy tropes self. I AM WITH YOU
- also it was very pretty
- except when fairies were slithering out of the backs of birds because seriously, WTF
- or when Snow White was communing with random helpful horses and mystical stags because HAHAHAHA and also, again, WTF
- also this movie wanted you to make very sure you knew what it shipped, which was hilarious, and fine by me, I am willing to roll with that!
- especially since I could not manage to pay much attention any time the non-Thor love interest was on the screen
- but I am really happy that the movie ended with Snow White becoming queen without having to Pick A Dude or Resolve The Love Triangle, because that's not the point!
- I am totally on board with the rumored sequel and/or trilogy because I really, really want it to be the fourth book of Twelve Kingdoms, in which the queen doesn't know a lot about ruling, because she has never had any training in it, and then learns about ruling and is awesome and responsible, possibly with the help of a couple of revolutionary teenaged girls her own age, and it's great
- but the rumored sequel and/or trilogy probably will not be that in any way :(
- BUT I LIVE IN HOPE
- (also otherwise I have no idea what you would even do with a sequel and/or trilogy
- (but if any of you have ideas, please do tell me!)

Comments

[shati]

Well, if I made the sequel, Chris Hemsworth would find himself pregnant with an egg (is that the terminology? idek) while Snow White would find herself battling (BUT ALSO FALLING IN LOVE WITH) lesbian terrorist insurgents who want DEMOCRACY! and possibly use armies of superpowered fetuses to obtain their desired government structure. How, you say? There is nothing superpowered fetuses can't do. They are also trained to register voters and supervise polls. Meanwhile William would have been turned into a pygmy goat, and would spend most of the movie hopping around the castle bleating adorably.

Then it would turn out they were all actually in the afterlife and living out fairy tales as a way to work through their (symbolically related) personal life issues to the point where they would be ready to shed their current lives and reincarnate, possibly as barnyard livestock but also possibly not. The second film would end with Chris Hemsworth laying his egg, which would crack open and spill rays of brilliant light, and the screen would fade to white, signifying their rebirth.

In the third film, Snow White and Chris Hemsworth would be reborn as [spoilers] and would be sent to [spoiler] Charlize's character, a [spoiler]. An epic battle would ensue in the subways of Tokyo, or maybe New York, I haven't decided. Snow and Chris would have a sparkly transformation sequence where Snow would pull a sniper rifle from his chest. TBC, etc.




You could probably also just go with other fairy tales though.

[shati]

I forgot to mention that the fairies laid the egg in Chris Hemsworth.

[skygiants]

I would hire you to write this movie, but that goes without saying.

Snow White would find herself battling (BUT ALSO FALLING IN LOVE WITH) lesbian terrorist insurgents who want DEMOCRACY!

I forget whether you've actually read Twelve Kingdoms 4, but it does not take much of a stretch to get here from Twelve Kingdoms 4 . . .

. . . no fetuses though . . .

[shati]

I don't want the fetuses, I just know they would happen and I figured I'd try to use their powers for good.

I've only read Twelve Kingdoms 1, but I keep meaning to read the rest. Priority level raised!

[skygiants]

You keep trying but I am not sure it's ever actually possible!

They aren't actually textual lesbians but Yoko does one hundred percent accidentally become BFF with the terrorist teenaged girls who are trying to rebel against her. IT'S GREAT.

[saramily]

So, in Becca's current layout, commenters' names don't stand out really well for me and I usually miss them at first but I got to "pregnant with an egg" and went ahh, Shati.

Armies of Superpowered Fetuses, aka my new band name, really just underlined the point.

[skygiants]

We came up with another really good band name today too but I forget what it was. :( Shati, help!