skygiants: Autor from Princess Tutu gesturing smugly (let me splain)
skygiants ([personal profile] skygiants) wrote2016-09-08 06:51 pm

(no subject)

This past weekend, [personal profile] genarti and [personal profile] saramily and I got to talking about the King Arthur police precedural that Fox is allegedly developing. I only mention this because over the course of this conversation we realized that the ONLY modern-King-Arthur television show that Fox should really be developing is a hilarious reincarnation-based office sitcom, and now I can't stop thinking about it, so I am going to tell you all about this imaginary sitcom in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL.

My imaginary workplace sitcom is about a struggling nonprofit organization and is probably written by the people who wrote Parks and Rec and Brooklyn 99. Accordingly, it stars Retta and Melissa Fumero:




as Alice and Pam, OFFICE NEMESIS battling nonprofit burnout! and each other!

....UNTIL, in the first episode, they start having flashbacks and eventually realize: they are the reincarnations of, respectively, King Arthur and Lancelot, they are destined to fight evil while being devoted to each other in an epic and legendary way, and weekly budget meetings just got really weird!

Every episode alternates between flashbacks to Round Table efforts to fight evil, provide justice, build a better and more stable society, etc., and current-day office hijinks as the nonprofit attempts to do the same, but with much more paperwork.

As a sidenote, all the flashbacks initially have placeholder white guy actors doing ye olde British accents and speaking forsoothly, except for the person having the flashback, who plays themselves. Once Alice and Pam recognize each other at the end of the first episode, however, every flashback features Retta and Melissa Fumero talking exactly like they would in the office while wearing shining armor.

The rest of the placeholder actors gradually get replaced by actual cast members as further reincarnation reveals occur, including:

- Donald Glover as the reincarnation of Sir Gawain, ladies' man and too-cool-for-school tech bro, who's the only person who knows how to keep the website running!



- Rahul Kohli as the noble reincarnation of King Pellinore, the development manager who is constantly questing after very worthy but COMPLETELY UNATTAINABLE grants!



- Yael Grobglas as the reincarnation of Sir Kay, the long-suffering and sarcastic office business manager who must always be the one to point out they don't have enough money for their pet project!



- Sandra Oh as the director's PA, the only person who knows where everything is and keeps the office running and everybody from murdering each other; she of course turns out to be Guinevere!



- and, of course, Jaime Camil as Merlin, the director of the nonprofit, who has been gathering all the Round Table reincarnations together for world-saving purposes all this while!



Merlin is not reincarnated, for the record. Merlin is just Merlin. This is why Merlin is very good at magic and WILDLY INCOMPETENT at being the director of a nonprofit organization.

Sample episodes include:
- the episode where everyone is rushing to meet a grant deadline, with flashbacks to PREPARING FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE ROMANS
- the team retreat episode where Merlin insists everybody do trust falls; in flashbacks, Merlin also insists everybody do trust falls
- the episode in which Donald Glover has to go through ludicrous hoops to install a new open-source software, intercut with the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
- the mid-season love triangle episode, in which a.) the reveal of who is Guinevere, b.) the reveal that Lancelot and Arthur were way more than good buddies, and c.) THE MOST AWKWARD OFFICE MEETINGS YET, FOR EVERYONE

ok so who wants to fund my sitcom now
musesfool: diaz & santiago are skeptical, part 2 (how you like me now)

[personal profile] musesfool 2016-09-09 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
I would watch that SO HARD.
newredshoes: possum, "How embarrassing!" (cap | just a great idea)

[personal profile] newredshoes 2016-09-09 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
WHERE CAN I THROW MY MONEY SO THIS CAN HAPPEN.

Also, can the Green Man be an office-wide commitment to recycling, and Donald Glover is in charge?
loligo: Scully with blue glasses (Default)

[personal profile] loligo 2016-09-09 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
I will look at my colleagues with fresh eyes tomorrow, I am telling you. (Employee of a mid-sized health care and social service nonprofit, here.)
jjhunter: plump little bird looks upward - blue watercolor and ink (blue bird happy)

[personal profile] jjhunter 2016-09-09 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
I would contribute to a Kickstarter for this!
sophia_sol: photo of a 19th century ivory carving of a fat bird (Default)

[personal profile] sophia_sol 2016-09-09 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
this is an amazing idea and if I had sitcom-funding kinds of money I would totally fund your sitcom
affreca: Cat Under Blankets (Default)

[personal profile] affreca 2016-09-09 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. This. I would so watch this.
china_shop: Elizabeth laughing (WC Elizabeth - LOL)

[personal profile] china_shop 2016-09-09 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
*dies* This is genius!
saramily: (Default)

[personal profile] saramily 2016-09-09 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
ME i would fund this i would fund it SO HARD...

if i had any money or the ability to get things made. but the image in my head is fantastic now, thank you!!
leecetheartist: A lime green dragon head, with twin horns, and red trim. Very gentle looking, with a couple spirals of smoke from nose. (Default)

[personal profile] leecetheartist 2016-09-09 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Me me I would fund it! Lady of the Lake could be the woman who replaces the watercooler refills, and gives them the sword of 'inspiration'.
graycardinal: Shadow on asphalt (Default)

[personal profile] graycardinal 2016-09-09 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
If there is still a way to pitch things to Felicia Day's Web video operation, this might very well be worth pitching there....
melannen: Commander Valentine of Alpha Squad Seven, a red-haired female Nick Fury in space, smoking contemplatively (Default)

[personal profile] melannen 2016-09-09 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Me! I would! Me!
opusculasedfera: stack of books, with a mug of tea on top (Default)

[personal profile] opusculasedfera 2016-09-09 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so disappointed this isn't real, it would be EVERYTHING.

Important question: do they have flashbacks to the old-school hilarious magical knight superpowers, and discover modern analogues?
tielan: (SGA - Teyla 2)

[personal profile] tielan 2016-09-09 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
Came her via Network, and I would TOTALLY fund this! XD XD XD
glitteryv: (Default)

[personal profile] glitteryv 2016-09-09 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
So who's coming up with the bank robbing plans because this is TEN KINDS OF BRILLIANT!!!! *____*
sovay: (Rotwang)

[personal profile] sovay 2016-09-09 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
the King Arthur police precedural that Fox is allegedly developing.

Look, I'm sorry, you just reviewed a screwball rom-com based on The Turn of the Screw, are you just spontaneously generating this stuff into being?

Once Alice and Pam recognize each other at the end of the first episode, however, every flashback features Retta and Melissa Fumero talking exactly like they would in the office while wearing shining armor.

I really like this idea. It's very theatrical and would be fun.

Yael Grobglas as the reincarnation of Sir Kay, the long-suffering and sarcastic office business manager who must always be the one to point out they don't have enough money for their pet project!

Fine. Done. Show me this thing.

the episode where everyone is rushing to meet a grant deadline, with flashbacks to PREPARING FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE ROMANS

What's wrong with the Saxons?!

you can pry my Romano-British Arthuriana from my cold dead hands along with the sword of Macsen Wledig
kore: (Default)

[personal profile] kore 2016-09-09 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
//throws purse at you

//purse opens to reveal a few copper coins and a fluttering moth

//steals other purse with actual money to throw at you


Also whoah, Donald Glover is twenty pounds of gorgeous in a five pound bag.
escritoireazul: (Default)

[personal profile] escritoireazul 2016-09-09 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
I am nearly weeping, I want to watch this so badly. This is amazing. AMAZING.
annotated_em: close shot of a purple crocus (Default)

[personal profile] annotated_em 2016-09-09 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Please set up a kickstarter so I can sign my paychecks over to you, stat.
gramarye1971: Old Ways (TDIR: Old Ways)

[personal profile] gramarye1971 2016-09-09 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
I am 100 percent here for Merlin the magical but incompetent nonprofit director who adores trust falls. Yes.

(please tell me there is a Nimue, and he/she frequently shows up to try to make Merlin's life hell)
likeadeuce: (Default)

[personal profile] likeadeuce 2016-09-09 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
I need to take a look at the Yuletide rules because there should be a way for this to be eligible.
ellen_fremedon: overlapping pages from Beowulf manuscript, one with a large rubric, on a maroon ground (Default)

[personal profile] ellen_fremedon 2016-09-09 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
You know, I can't fund this, but I could nominate it for Yuletide...
hokuton_punch: (hikaru no go sai squee)

[personal profile] hokuton_punch 2016-09-09 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
HERE FOR IT.
monanotlisa: symbol, image, ttrpg, party, pun about rolling dice and getting rolling (Default)

[personal profile] monanotlisa 2016-09-09 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
You are insane, and I love you. :P
settiai: (Stonehenge -- girlyb_icons)

[personal profile] settiai 2016-09-09 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
As someone who works for a nonprofit, I love you. So much.
cahn: (Default)

[personal profile] cahn 2016-09-09 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
omg this is AMAZING yes please

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