I think it would have helped a lot to have the other character's viewpoints instead of just Monty's. It felt like that's what the plot needed but then the author wanted to go all in on Monty.

Also to me some of the privilege part didn't even need to be historical, some of the ways it was written felt more like a contemporary YA with the plot stuff being historical. It needed more editing though the author can write. I think they just were writing too much and fell in love with too many ideas.