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Our adventures with Star Wars: The Clone Wars continue! Though, alas, those of many of our clone buddies do not.
Episodes 11-20 of Season 1
11. Dooku Captured
This whole episode is basically just Anakin and Obi-Wan flailing around in a cave failing at everything and yelling at each other about it, and it's great. This is one hundred percent the Star Wars content I'm here for. Also, no clone buddies die in the making of this episode! Eventually they go attempt to ransom Count Dooku from a bunch of space pirates, and cunningly thwart the space pirates' plan to drug them and take them prisoner!
12. The Gungan General
...so I'm not entirely sure why at the beginning of this episode they have been drugged and taken prisoner! Given that the last scene in the previous episode featured Anakin and Obi-Wan smugly switching out their drugged beverages with those of a couple of pirates, the best guess I can make for what happened here is that Anakin and Obi-Wan were so proud of themselves for remembering to check their drinks for drugs that they then proceeded to black out all on their own just from straight-up excess of booze.
Anyway. ANYWAY. It doesn't matter because it's just an excuse for the two of them to spend the rest of this episode HANDCUFFED TO COUNT DOOKU as they all attempt to escape together, sniping at each other all the while, which is ONE THOUSAND percent the Star Wars content I'm here for.
Also there is a B-plot where Jar Jar accidentally rescues everybody. Nobody cares about this except in that it results in the death of two clone buddies, plus a senator who was five days from retirement. I don't know why really good episodes always have Jar Jar B-plots.
13. Jedi Crash
I think this may be the only time in the history of cinema that Central Casting was like "what vocal indicators are we going to use to indicate a people primarily characterized by a philosophy of strict nonviolence? I know: SCOTTISH ACCENTS." Ahsoka, Anakin, and another Jedi named Aayla crash-land on a planet peopled by Very Scottish Pacifists! Anakin is wounded and Aayla and Ahsokaabandon him to the wolves leave him temporarily behind while they go look for help. Aayla teaches Ahsoka a Very Important Lesson about Why Jedi Don't Form Attachments: it makes it difficult to abandon your teacher to the wolves.
Three clone buddies died in the making of this episode. :( I can't remember if they died in the crash-landing, or were eaten by alien wolves.
14. Defenders of Peace
We spent the entire episode convinced that the leader of the Very Scottish Pacifist's Slightly Less Vehemently Pacifist Son was going to die to demonstrate the horrors of war, and were pleased to find out that this was not correct! In fact, nobody dies in this episode, despite the fact that the bad guys land and attempt to try out a new super-weapon on the village of the Very Scottish Pacifists. The Very Scottish Pacifists refuse to defend themselves; the Jedi heave a sigh and defend them anyway. At the end, Anakin is like 'do you see why strict nonviolence is not always viable NOW? huh? huh???' and the Leader of the Very Scottish Pacifists is like ':\'. Perhaps not the most nuanced examination of the philosophy of pacifism and principles of nonviolence.
15. Trespass
A very special episode about imperialism! Anakin and Obi-Wan tag along on a diplomatic mission to a theoretically uninhabited planet where a whole base full of clone buddies was found murdered. :( Pour one out.
(There was a brief moment in there when they found just a bunch of helmets and I was like "DID THE CLONE BUDDIES ABANDON THE IMPLEMENTS OF WAR AND GO ROGUE???" but no, it turns out that we were meant to assume there were actual heads in those helmets.)
Anyway, it turns out the murderers were the people who actually live on the planet, and Anakin and Obi-Wan go and befriend them with sign language and they're like "we're sorry we murdered your clone buddies, but hey, this is sovereign territory," and Anakin and Obi-Wan are like "yeah OK, that's cool, seems fine." However, the Very Imperialist General they're traveling with, who is from the civilization that lays claim to the theoretically uninhabited planet, is like "shit, no, we are having a Glorious War, it is ON," and attempts to re-enact the entire Anglo-Zulu war with, like, three men and a handkerchief, so Anakin and Obi-Wan have to encourage the tiny browbeaten Senator from his planet to go over his head and call the war off. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
innerbrat and I had a lot of fun during this episode speculating about the political systems of power and methods for appointing and electing senators on this particular planet that we will probably never see again.)
In the end, the Very Imperialist General dies as a casualty of his very miniscule Imperialist war and demands that his Senator avenge him. She does not. Nobody feels bad.
16. The Hidden Enemy
CLONE BUDDIES EPISODE. One of our clone buddies is a traitor!! Rex and Cody have to interrogate a whole clone buddy squadron to find out who it is, in the process accidentally outing and shaming another clone for Inappropriate Clone Behavior, and it's all just a really fascinating window into clone culture. Then they find out who the traitor is, and he not unexpectedly gives a whole long speech about how their lives are pre-programmed for them, and he just wants FREEDOM for his CLONE BUDDY BROTHERS to make their OWN CHOICES, and Rex and Cody are like "yes but giving information to the enemy got a whole bunch of your clone buddy brothers killed? You're aware of that, right? Like, that's how ... being an enemy agent works?" Anyway. It's good stuff.
Also Anakin and Obi-Wan go behind enemy lines and have a fight with Ventress or something but it's nowhere near as interesting as DISSENT IN THE CLONE BUDDY RANKS.
17. Blue Shadow Virus
Whatever casting director made the call about the Very Scottish Pacifists was probably on vacation this week, which is how we got the world's most stereotypical Evil German Mad Scientist. I mean, he's an alien. But he's very much an Evil German Mad Scientist. Anyway, Padme and Jar Jar go investigate. Alas, is no better B-plot to salvage this Jar Jar episode.
18. Mystery of a Thousand Moons
...however, it does lead into this significantly better episode, which is basically a pair of quite good Star Trek episodes each shoved into about half the time they ought to have. In the A-plot, Padme and Ahsoka are trapped underground with Jar Jar and a bunch of clone buddies and infected by the virus and attempting to destroy all the droids set to spread the virus on the planet! WHILE DYING!! In the B-plot, Anakin and Obi-Wan go to an abandoned planet to find a cure, where they find a snarky trapped child who has engineered his own army of drones!
The longer Star Trek versions of these episodes would have given us more time for plague-related horror and fraught we-who-are-about-to-die pychological development in the A-plot, and more Anakin-reluctantly-bonds-with-a-terrible-child shenanigans in the B-plot. But we'll take what we can get.
At least three clone buddies died of the plague in the making of this episode; Ahsoka and Padme only survive by virtue of their special protagonist immune systems.
19. Storm Over Ryloth
Ahsoka, UNDERSTANDABLY, struggles with having her first command as a fifteen-year-old. (To be fair, most of the clone buddies are, what, five?) Then she loses a whole squadron of clone buddies and struggles more.
ANAKIN: Why didn't you follow the orders we gave you, Ahsoka?
AHSOKA: I learned it from you, Dad! I LEARNED IT FROM YOU.
To boost her confidence, Anakin comes up with an incredibly stupid plan and then leaves her to explain it to a set of dubious clone buddies who want to be supportive of Ahsoka, but, like, there is only so supportive under these circumstances --
Anyway, luckily for Anakin, an admiral turns up to back him up and the plan succeeds and also manages to get Ahsoka out of her slump. This is a good episode, but also maybe it's a bad idea to put fifteen-year-olds in command of things. Or put Anakin in command of things, at any age.
Pour another one out for another entire squadron of dead clone buddies. Sorry, guys.
20. Innocents of Ryloth
In theory this is an episode about Obi-Wan leading an invasion force while a robot general tries to stop him but ACTUALLY this is an episode about TWO CLONE BUDDIES ADOPTING A BABY TWI'LEK. It's not that I'm sad that this episode ended in the baby Twi'lek finding her real father (or uncle or some family member, it's not entirely specified) but ... yes, I am sad. I am super sad we're not going to get an episode about a clone buddy squadron and their joint adopted daughter. In fact I would watch a whole SITCOM about a clone buddy squadron and their joint adopted daughter.
(Though given the rate at which whole clone buddy squadrons get wiped out -- two in ten episodes! -- this might be for the best.)
Episodes 11-20 of Season 1
11. Dooku Captured
This whole episode is basically just Anakin and Obi-Wan flailing around in a cave failing at everything and yelling at each other about it, and it's great. This is one hundred percent the Star Wars content I'm here for. Also, no clone buddies die in the making of this episode! Eventually they go attempt to ransom Count Dooku from a bunch of space pirates, and cunningly thwart the space pirates' plan to drug them and take them prisoner!
12. The Gungan General
...so I'm not entirely sure why at the beginning of this episode they have been drugged and taken prisoner! Given that the last scene in the previous episode featured Anakin and Obi-Wan smugly switching out their drugged beverages with those of a couple of pirates, the best guess I can make for what happened here is that Anakin and Obi-Wan were so proud of themselves for remembering to check their drinks for drugs that they then proceeded to black out all on their own just from straight-up excess of booze.
Anyway. ANYWAY. It doesn't matter because it's just an excuse for the two of them to spend the rest of this episode HANDCUFFED TO COUNT DOOKU as they all attempt to escape together, sniping at each other all the while, which is ONE THOUSAND percent the Star Wars content I'm here for.
Also there is a B-plot where Jar Jar accidentally rescues everybody. Nobody cares about this except in that it results in the death of two clone buddies, plus a senator who was five days from retirement. I don't know why really good episodes always have Jar Jar B-plots.
13. Jedi Crash
I think this may be the only time in the history of cinema that Central Casting was like "what vocal indicators are we going to use to indicate a people primarily characterized by a philosophy of strict nonviolence? I know: SCOTTISH ACCENTS." Ahsoka, Anakin, and another Jedi named Aayla crash-land on a planet peopled by Very Scottish Pacifists! Anakin is wounded and Aayla and Ahsoka
Three clone buddies died in the making of this episode. :( I can't remember if they died in the crash-landing, or were eaten by alien wolves.
14. Defenders of Peace
We spent the entire episode convinced that the leader of the Very Scottish Pacifist's Slightly Less Vehemently Pacifist Son was going to die to demonstrate the horrors of war, and were pleased to find out that this was not correct! In fact, nobody dies in this episode, despite the fact that the bad guys land and attempt to try out a new super-weapon on the village of the Very Scottish Pacifists. The Very Scottish Pacifists refuse to defend themselves; the Jedi heave a sigh and defend them anyway. At the end, Anakin is like 'do you see why strict nonviolence is not always viable NOW? huh? huh???' and the Leader of the Very Scottish Pacifists is like ':\'. Perhaps not the most nuanced examination of the philosophy of pacifism and principles of nonviolence.
15. Trespass
A very special episode about imperialism! Anakin and Obi-Wan tag along on a diplomatic mission to a theoretically uninhabited planet where a whole base full of clone buddies was found murdered. :( Pour one out.
(There was a brief moment in there when they found just a bunch of helmets and I was like "DID THE CLONE BUDDIES ABANDON THE IMPLEMENTS OF WAR AND GO ROGUE???" but no, it turns out that we were meant to assume there were actual heads in those helmets.)
Anyway, it turns out the murderers were the people who actually live on the planet, and Anakin and Obi-Wan go and befriend them with sign language and they're like "we're sorry we murdered your clone buddies, but hey, this is sovereign territory," and Anakin and Obi-Wan are like "yeah OK, that's cool, seems fine." However, the Very Imperialist General they're traveling with, who is from the civilization that lays claim to the theoretically uninhabited planet, is like "shit, no, we are having a Glorious War, it is ON," and attempts to re-enact the entire Anglo-Zulu war with, like, three men and a handkerchief, so Anakin and Obi-Wan have to encourage the tiny browbeaten Senator from his planet to go over his head and call the war off. (
innerbrat and I had a lot of fun during this episode speculating about the political systems of power and methods for appointing and electing senators on this particular planet that we will probably never see again.) In the end, the Very Imperialist General dies as a casualty of his very miniscule Imperialist war and demands that his Senator avenge him. She does not. Nobody feels bad.
16. The Hidden Enemy
CLONE BUDDIES EPISODE. One of our clone buddies is a traitor!! Rex and Cody have to interrogate a whole clone buddy squadron to find out who it is, in the process accidentally outing and shaming another clone for Inappropriate Clone Behavior, and it's all just a really fascinating window into clone culture. Then they find out who the traitor is, and he not unexpectedly gives a whole long speech about how their lives are pre-programmed for them, and he just wants FREEDOM for his CLONE BUDDY BROTHERS to make their OWN CHOICES, and Rex and Cody are like "yes but giving information to the enemy got a whole bunch of your clone buddy brothers killed? You're aware of that, right? Like, that's how ... being an enemy agent works?" Anyway. It's good stuff.
Also Anakin and Obi-Wan go behind enemy lines and have a fight with Ventress or something but it's nowhere near as interesting as DISSENT IN THE CLONE BUDDY RANKS.
17. Blue Shadow Virus
Whatever casting director made the call about the Very Scottish Pacifists was probably on vacation this week, which is how we got the world's most stereotypical Evil German Mad Scientist. I mean, he's an alien. But he's very much an Evil German Mad Scientist. Anyway, Padme and Jar Jar go investigate. Alas, is no better B-plot to salvage this Jar Jar episode.
18. Mystery of a Thousand Moons
...however, it does lead into this significantly better episode, which is basically a pair of quite good Star Trek episodes each shoved into about half the time they ought to have. In the A-plot, Padme and Ahsoka are trapped underground with Jar Jar and a bunch of clone buddies and infected by the virus and attempting to destroy all the droids set to spread the virus on the planet! WHILE DYING!! In the B-plot, Anakin and Obi-Wan go to an abandoned planet to find a cure, where they find a snarky trapped child who has engineered his own army of drones!
The longer Star Trek versions of these episodes would have given us more time for plague-related horror and fraught we-who-are-about-to-die pychological development in the A-plot, and more Anakin-reluctantly-bonds-with-a-terrible-child shenanigans in the B-plot. But we'll take what we can get.
At least three clone buddies died of the plague in the making of this episode; Ahsoka and Padme only survive by virtue of their special protagonist immune systems.
19. Storm Over Ryloth
Ahsoka, UNDERSTANDABLY, struggles with having her first command as a fifteen-year-old. (To be fair, most of the clone buddies are, what, five?) Then she loses a whole squadron of clone buddies and struggles more.
ANAKIN: Why didn't you follow the orders we gave you, Ahsoka?
AHSOKA: I learned it from you, Dad! I LEARNED IT FROM YOU.
To boost her confidence, Anakin comes up with an incredibly stupid plan and then leaves her to explain it to a set of dubious clone buddies who want to be supportive of Ahsoka, but, like, there is only so supportive under these circumstances --
Anyway, luckily for Anakin, an admiral turns up to back him up and the plan succeeds and also manages to get Ahsoka out of her slump. This is a good episode, but also maybe it's a bad idea to put fifteen-year-olds in command of things. Or put Anakin in command of things, at any age.
Pour another one out for another entire squadron of dead clone buddies. Sorry, guys.
20. Innocents of Ryloth
In theory this is an episode about Obi-Wan leading an invasion force while a robot general tries to stop him but ACTUALLY this is an episode about TWO CLONE BUDDIES ADOPTING A BABY TWI'LEK. It's not that I'm sad that this episode ended in the baby Twi'lek finding her real father (or uncle or some family member, it's not entirely specified) but ... yes, I am sad. I am super sad we're not going to get an episode about a clone buddy squadron and their joint adopted daughter. In fact I would watch a whole SITCOM about a clone buddy squadron and their joint adopted daughter.
(Though given the rate at which whole clone buddy squadrons get wiped out -- two in ten episodes! -- this might be for the best.)
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I like to think Anakin passed out after one drink, but Obi-Wan was a very expensive capture and took down half the pirate population in drinking games with his ability to not pass out from excessive amounts of alcohol (no Jedi shenanigans necessary) before that last glass of rotgut finally knocked him out.
TWO CLONE BUDDIES ADOPTING A BABY TWI'LEK.
WAXER & BOIL & NUMA! ♥
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Please tell me Waxer & Boil & Numa come back!
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Numa appears in Rebels!
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Anakin is really the worst Jedi teacher, but Ahsoka manages to struggle through and learn valuable lessons anyway! Sometimes the wrong valuable lessons. I love her so much, though.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11229006
... yeah, Luke would have had some issues with full-time Dad!Anakin. Some Dark Side issues. D:
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I would love to hear your thoughts!
These recaps are amazing and I love them.
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(I'm glad you're enjoying the recaps! :D)
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