(no subject)

[skygiants]

Last night we went to go see Boston Shakespeare in the Park's Cymbeline, on the Common. It was a perfectly respectable production of Cymbeline, a show that I believe newredshoes once described as a highlights reel of all of Shakespeare's other plot points crammed into one play, featuring as it does:

- fakeout poison
- crossdressing
- a stubborn king who just has to learn to appreciate his daughter more
- a convoluted scheme to make a virtuous wife seem adulterous
- ill-advised bro bets
- an unwanted arranged marriage
- a murderous evil stepmother
- attempted wife murder (based on the aforementioned convoluted scheme to make a virtuous wife seem adulterous)
- kidnapped princes being raised as humble peasants in the Arcadian forest
- fakeout beheading
- a number of rapturous odes to the town of Milford Haven
- the Roman invasion of Britain
- the longest 'have some surprise identity reveals and convoluted explanations!' scene in all of Shakespeare, observed by an audience of confused captive Romans
- Jupiter descending from the heavens to consult with some ghosts
- (I can't believe I had completely forgotten the existence of the scene in which Jupiter descends from the heavens to consult with some ghosts but Boston Shakespeare in the Park wanted to make sure you NOTICED it)

Anyway, we enjoyed it very much, but on the way back genarti and I started trying to figure out how you'd re-jigger the plot so that you still got all of the various batshit elements and the general shape of the story stayed the same (including -- genarti was very insistent -- the rapturous odes to Milford Haven) but also so that Posthumus Leonatus, the love interest and nominal hero of the piece, is not a literal attempted wife murderer before the happy reconciliation at the end of the story. And after some back and forth, I think we've got it!


The key here is that you speed up the timing of the invasion, so Posthumus is in fact already about to go to Milford Haven with the Roman army when Iachimo (also about to head off to the invasion, a little later than Posthumus) shows up to convince him of Imogen's Perfidy.

Instead of trying to lure Imogen to Milford Haven so that his servant can murder her, therefore, Posthumus writes a note calling her to Milford Haven so he can ACCUSE HER TO HER FACE! and then dramatically dump her, Claudio style! This is still obviously a dick move but much less of a dick move than "have my servant stab her." Baby steps.

Imogen, who does not know she is about to be dumped, shows up already cross-dressed (there's no reason Pisanio can't suggest this earlier, when she's running away from the palace) and in disguise as a boy. She finds Posthumus in a tavern, where he does not immediately recognize her, because if Orlando didn't recognize cross-dressed Rosalind in As You Like It there's no reason it shouldn't work here too, and also maybe she's wearing an enormous false moustache or something. It's Shakespeare. It's fine.

Just as she's about to joyously throw off her disguise, she hears Posthumus ranting to his Roman pals about Imogen's unfaithfulness and his plan to dramatically dump her!

DISGUISED IMOGEN: [le gasp! le shock!]
CLUELESS POSTHUMUS: and well you MIGHT be shocked, hot youth!
DISGUISED IMOGEN: surely you wrong your lady, sir!
CLUELESS POSTHUMUS: alas! I have the receipts, hot youth!

Imogen hears all about everything Iachimo said and decides to stay on and meet the Romans, so she can confront Iachimo with his perfidy; in the meantime, however, she decides to head out of Milford Haven for a bit lest Posthumus somehow get a clue and recognize her, and the entire forest interlude plays out as before, including Imogen mistaking Beheaded Cloten for Posthumus and the Romans showing up and adopting her.

Now Imogen, thinking Posthumus is dead, is extra motivated to make Iachimo feel bad for slandering her reputation, and probably gets a whole speech in there about how Posthumus' death is Iachimo's fault for his lies and perfidy (and Iachimo's sudden change of heart at the end of the play makes a lot more sense if it's spurred by a surprisingly hot youth who has been following him around for the past several days going "hey! hey! guess what! YOU'RE A DICK".)

Meanwhile, Pisanio is still off spreading rumors that Imogen is dead, so Posthumus assumes she heard the trash talk that he's been spreading all round Milford Haven and died of a broken heart (once again a la Hero in Much Ado) and still has the avalanche of guilt to allow the end of the play to go forward pretty much unchanged, with extra crossdressing banter and without any attempted wife murder at all. Mr. Shakespeare, you're welcome.

Comments

[landofnowhere]

That would massively improve the plot!

I suspect a lot of productions cut the Jupiter scene, because it's kind of terrible and requires special effects. I no longer remember the details of the youth production my sister directed that I wrapped togas and did scenery for, but I don't think it had Jupiter in it.

However I was part of a highly entertaining read-through of the play several years ago, so I did remember that scene, if mainly for the classic line "Thanks, Jupiter!"

[skygiants]

This version gave Jupiter GIANT SPARKLY EAGLE WINGS. They spanned half the width of the stage. I have no memory of what he said, because I was absolutely blinded by his outfit, which honestly seems about right. Thanks, Jupiter!

[sovay]

This version gave Jupiter GIANT SPARKLY EAGLE WINGS.

I'M SO GLAD.

[genarti]

I'M SO GLAD

Also, and for no clear reason except WHY NOT (which seemed to motivate several costuming and directorial decisions in this production, but of all plays to do that in Cymbeline is well suited to it), Jupiter was also wearing a utilikilt.

A black one, with bling-y chains. I honestly do not remember what he had on for a shirt or lack thereof, because I was too busy being distracted by GIANT SPARKLY EAGLE WINGS and IDK SOME KIND OF MASK?? and SHOWY LIGHTING EFFECTS and also the hilarity of everything in that scene.

[sovay]

Jupiter was also wearing a utilikilt.

You know, I accept it.

[genarti]

I was also distracted by his outfit and the general amount of SPECTACLE AND SPARKLE going on, but I believe the gist of his speech was: "UGHHH, these ghost parents just WON'T SHUT UP about their son's misery ughhhhh, okay FINE here is a cryptic prophecy about the happiness of Britain and also Posthumus Leonidas to remind the sad ghost parents that they're in a comedy and he's gonna get an HEA and also rah rah Britain, peace out"

[skygiants]

I was also just distracted by the fact that of ALL the people to have ghost soccer moms, it had to be Posthumus Leonidas. What about Imogen? Where's her dead mom angrily calling up the teacher to demand a better grade?

[genarti]

To be fair, Imogen seems to have her own affairs in hand much better than Posthumus "Never Met An Impulsive Decision He Didn't Want To Charge At" Leonatus...

[sovay]

- the longest 'have some surprise identity reveals and convoluted explanations!' scene in all of Shakespeare, observed by an audience of confused captive Romans

All of a sudden this made me wonder what the actually longest one of these is in DWJ.

- (I can't believe I had completely forgotten the existence of the scene in which Jupiter descends from the heavens to consult with some ghosts but Boston Shakespeare in the Park wanted to make sure you NOTICED it)

I am actually pretty sure the last production I saw of Cymbeline didn't have that, because I would have remembered it!

and still has the avalanche of guilt to allow the end of the play to go forward pretty much unchanged, with extra crossdressing banter and without any attempted wife murder at all.

Sold. Thanks, you and genarti.

(. . . are you going to write it?)

[skygiants]

It's got to be Hexwood, right? I'm putting my money on Hexwood. If only because of Yam intermittently interrupting to run in small panicked circles, which surely extends the page count.

The last production of Cymbeline I saw was in a parking lot, and Star Wars themed, and I'm fairly sure did not include Zeus either.

(Probably not, but genarti did also make a request for Yuletide fic in which the evil stepmother wakes up very confused ten minutes after the play ends, having accidentally used the fake poison to poison herself with ...)

[sovay]

It's got to be Hexwood, right? I'm putting my money on Hexwood.

I feel like there might be more people involved in the denouement of The Game, but once you know the mythological key, they all fall into place relatively unconfusingly. Hexwood never actually stops being batshit, including the part where it might have been possible to see the Arthuriana coming but Beowulf, nope. (I mean, as with much DWJ I read that book too young to realize it was batshit as opposed to a normal narrative structure, but I can still see that objectively it is.)

The last production of Cymbeline I saw was in a parking lot, and Star Wars themed, and I'm fairly sure did not include Zeus either.

Mine was this one and I still approve of the way they handled the identity reveals.

(Probably not, but genarti did also make a request for Yuletide fic in which the evil stepmother wakes up very confused ten minutes after the play ends, having accidentally used the fake poison to poison herself with ...)

+1.

[skygiants]

It took me several rounds of handing people Hexwood and having them plaintively ask me in the middle if it was ever going to make sense to learn that Hexwood doesn't actually make sense until the second time you read it, because I personally have now read it so many times I can't actually remember the first time I read it...

That production sounds amazing. Our doctor had a beautifully calibrated bad accent which was impressive enough as successful comedy in and of itself, but even more impressive with three!

[sovay]

I personally have now read it so many times I can't actually remember the first time I read it...

Me neither! I can't remember reading any of my formative DWJ for the first time. It's like it's always been in my brain, which must have done incalculable damage.

That production sounds amazing.

I've never seen a slide whistle duel before or since and I feel I've been gravely cheated.

Our doctor had a beautifully calibrated bad accent which was impressive enough as successful comedy in and of itself, but even more impressive with three!

Congratulations on your doctor's bad accent nonetheless! Which kind?

[genarti]

He started off by pronouncing potions as poseeyuns, which, okay, maybe that was meant to be quasi-Spanish or something? But then later, he added to it poiseeyuns for poisons, and some other word I've forgotten which definitely ended in -on rather than -ion but still got the same treatment. It was altogether vaaaaguely Romance language-ish, but heck if I could tell you which he was aiming for. And he had a sort of deliberate, slightly over-enunciated delivery and tendency to dramatic poses and pauses. All of it could very easily have been stilted and excruciating, but he had AMAZING comic timing, so somehow he made it work. In the middle of his first scene, discussing poseeyuns with the evil queen, he paused, strode down the stairs, and declared to the audience, "I do not like her." with a full stop that clanged into place, and the entire audience cracked up as one.

(One of Iachimo's friends, on the other hand, had an OUTRAAAAAGEOUS FRENCH accent that wandered all over Europe, involved giving I'm-just-using-the-French-version pronunciations to words that were mostly not in fact ones that have French versions, and generally made me cringe through his every line. I decided for the sake of my own sanity that his accent was Watsonianly a bad fake, he was actually from three towns over, and either none of his friends could tell or none of them could talk him out of maintaining it.)

[sovay]

It was altogether vaaaaguely Romance language-ish, but heck if I could tell you which he was aiming for.

That's brilliant. I love people who can do bad accents that are actually three different bad accents in a trenchcoat. (By association I get to be proud of spatch, who invented one for Mr. Paravicini in Theatre@First's The Mousetrap that started in Italy, ended in Russia, and holidayed in Luxembourg with occasional outcroppings of New Jersey.)

I decided for the sake of my own sanity that his accent was Watsonianly a bad fake, he was actually from three towns over, and either none of his friends could tell or none of them could talk him out of maintaining it.

. . . That happens in real life sometimes.

[pedanther]

Emotionally, I am convinced that Hexwood made sense the first time I read it, but intellectually I suspect that it was really just that I had faith it would make sense in the end.

[rachelmanija]

I was literally coming here to say, "Must be Hexwood."

[legionseagle]

I went to an outdoor production many years ago which (as the programme notes carefully explained) was the work of a company who were convinced that Shakespeare was a closet member of the Old Religion (not Catholicism, the other one) and that most of his plays were coded messages to fellow practitioners, and that Cymbeline in particular made a lot more sense if it was a coded celebration/enactment/nativity play/origin story whatever of the Corn King/Maiden mythos.

[skygiants]

Okay, wait, does that mean that they beheaded Cloten to make the crops grow? Is this the Cymbeline Wicker Man AU???

[sovay]

Is this the Cymbeline Wicker Man AU???

I think that's Britannia.

[skygiants]

YOU'RE RIGHT

[sovay]

YOU'RE RIGHT

(I want to see this show so much. There have been gifsets all over Tumblr for a year and it looks nuts.)

[legionseagle]

Apart from the fact that they insisted it wasn't an AU, it was the One True Meaning of canon, pretty much.

[nineveh_uk]

I feel that Cymbeline is a play that needs the director to embrace the batshit. I saw it years ago at the Globe with a cast of about 6 playing all the characters, and though it was really good the final scene of revelations just reminded me of Prince Ludwig in Blackadder, "I was that sheep!"

[skygiants]

IT'S SO TRUE. I wish we'd been sitting a little closer in this production, honestly, because even from way in the back I could tell that the captive Romans watching the final revelation scene were going on some Face Journeys and I really wanted the opportunity to appreciate them better!

[larryhammer]

Excellent fix it. Would watch.

Eye of Newt, Shit of Bat

[executrix]

Hey, maybe we need a Cymbeline Fix-It Challenge!

Personally I'd go with the Hot Youth angle and a bed trick involving getting the bracelet back and "your wife would give you little thanks for that".

FWIW, I think Orlando has more excuse for not recognizing "this cute girl who watched me wrestle this one time" than Posthumus would have for not recognizing his actual wife when she has her head attached.