(no subject)

[skygiants]

genarti asked me for my top five favorite book covers! She gave me full reign to be ironic in my love, which is a privilege I will try not to abuse. At least 50% of these will also be rooted in fond nostalgia rather than any artistic merit, so . . . you are warned? I also stretch the definition of 'top five' a little, you are also warned.

1. You knew I was going to put some classic Diana Wynne Jones here, right? The new covers are pretty and all, but I really love a couple of the old covers I grew up with:



I always liked this Black Maria cover, despite the random floaty green box and so on, because of how it tied in to how I could picture Mig in my head - I can believe that she looks like this. (Although Mig never used a quill pen to write her pretty princess Mary Sue stories, alas.) And the random floaty green box is pretty, okay!

Honorable mention:



Yes, the dragon on this cover is hideous. BUT. The dragon on this cover is also covered in the SPARKLY DIAMONDS OF MANPAIN that are one of the most lolarious things about the book. Sorry, Edward Cullen, but Mordion was there first. THIS IS THE LEATHERY DRAGONHIDE OF A KILLER. (. . . I love Hexwood! I do! But seriously.)

2. Megan Whalen Turner really lucked out in the cover draw. But, while all the covers of her books are gorgeous, in my opinion this one is the prettiest hands-down:



(Secretly part of me wishes it was the cover of the third book, which is my favorite. It would work even better! But oh well, I will accept it for the second too.)

3. So remember a while back when Penguin started doing lulzy comic-style covers of classics? You have NO IDEA the stars I had in my eyes the first time I saw them. They almost convinced me to read Lady Chatterly's Lover, that's how much I loved them. But here are my favorites:



This is the cover that got me to read Cold Comfort Farm. One of the best decisions of my life! Fabulous as the cover is, it only captures about 30% of the actual hilarity of the book.



I love this one just for poor sad D'Artagnan. MAYBE HIS DUELLING OPPONENT MISTOOK THE TIME. He just wants to go have lunch, guys. ;_;

4. Occasionally I am slow, so it took me a while to actually appreciate this cover of Farthing. I was just like, "oh, a pretty red and blue pattern!"



Then, you know, I actually looked at it. And it completely blew my mind that I had totally missed the main design element. Hence it gets a place in the top five!

5. I know nothing of L.J. Smith's vampire books. But I have an enormous love in my heart for her cracktastic Arthuriana, the only books of hers my library carried when I was a kid. And I also have a enormous love in my heart for the terrible, terrible cover of the first one.



Poor Alys just kind of looks like she is valiantly attempting to cast spells through a horrible cold, while accidentally smacking her brother in the face. For some reason that endeared her to me even before I'd read the book!

As an honorable mention, the cover to the sequel is actually really pretty:



So much sistertastic awesome! Alys with a sword, Alys and Jane bonding, Claudia being adorable and Charles looking vaguely hunted: that is the essence of these books to me.


And while I'm on the topic of covers, I am going to throw out a few more. These are not favorites. These are covers that almost kept me from reading books that I later adored, and that I therefore passionately resented.



I actually checked the first Alanna book out of the library and returned it unread twice before I could actually bring myself to brave the cover. Not only is the art ridiculous, it has Sweet Valley High font! TERROR. (Which is not to say that I did not read Sweet Valley High, but the combo of the font and Barbarian Princess Alanna was an extremely unnerving one.)



The infamously terrible The Game of Kings cover that presumably almost turned a whole generation off Lymond. Never before have I been so appreciative of a nice, classy trade paperback reprint cover.

And then there is this Riddlemaster of Hed cover:



The purple spandex trousers will NEVER NOT BE HILARIOUS.

What about you guys? Favorite covers? Notoriously terrible covers that you have braved to find the gold within? Or, alternately, covers that should justly have been a warning to you?

Comments

[jothra]

WHERE ARE THE MARMOTS

[skygiants]

I STILL HAVE NOT YET SEEN THIS FABLED MARMOT COVER, JO

I CAN'T LIST IT IF I HAVEN'T SEEN IT

[genarti]

The marmot book!

Also listed with this much classier cover, but whatever.

[genarti]

Awwww, that Alanna cover is one I have nostalgic fondness for! I think I picked it up on the strength of the back cover text + my willingness to read anything and especially anything fantasy in 4th grade, but the cover didn't put me off at all. (That Night of the Solstice one would've made me run screaming, though. Ye gods.)

[skygiants]

But it is SO AWFUL. It is like a cross between a Sweet Valley High book and a bodice-ripper and Xena, all in neon pink. (IT IS SO TERRIBLE and I kind of love it. I don't know who decided boxy shiny wannabe-3-D art was the way to go on that, but whoever it was should be FIRED. And possibly were, since a much more clueful person obviously designed the second one!)

[batyatoon]

The ENTIRELY WRONG cover of Diane Duane's The Door Into Fire would have put me off the book if I hadn't already read the sequel.

(Slightly NSFW, so just linking: http://www.blackgate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/door-into-fire2a.jpg)

[skygiants]

Gosh, that's a . . . dramatically-placed sword there, isn't it.

(Though I will admit, I have gradually grown to find terrible cheesy '70's and 80's fantasy novel covers rather endearing. In my bookstore we plastic-wrap them and show them off!)

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I hate to break it to you but that book has a different cover which also features some naked lady, not to mention a Knight Who Said Nii, and, astoundingly, is even worse: The Door Into Fire (The Tale of the Five #1) (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812536711?ie=UTF8&tag=racmanbro-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0812536711)

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

I love the cover of Hexwood that I have, which is this one (http://bowjamesbow.ca/2006/03/01/when-young-adul.shtml). On the other end of the scale, the cover of Fire and Hemlock I have (http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Hemlock-Diana-Wynne-Jones/dp/0060298855/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1283976015&sr=8-1) is just plain horrible.

[skygiants]

That's quite a nice cover, though I have to admit I'm really amused by the reviewer's indignation about misleading back cover copy. (Not that he's wrong, but.)

Oh god, that is the infamously horrible Fire and Hemlock cover. My local library had this one, I think, but it was so banged-up and dingy it was sort of hard to tell anything about it. Someday I will own my own copy!

[spellcoats.livejournal.com]

The hands-down absolute worst Tamora Pierce cover ever:

[skygiants]

*chokes*

THAT IS GLORIOUS OMG

WEIRYN: THE LULZIEST GOD

And . . . is that Numair with the enormous overhanging super-gelled flop of hair?

(The other question is, does a badly photoshopped platypus beat a badly photoshopped marmot?)_

[ojuzu.livejournal.com]

I have this cover and it is terrible and I love it. :D

Daine is the only person who is actually vaguely recognizable! The guy next to her seems to be both stoned and VERY ANGRY. Or maybe his face froze like that when he was little.

[winding_path]

I don't find the Alanna cover horrifying per se, but it does make me wonder why she's holding a sword like she's waiting to take a swing at a curve ball.

The Cold Comfort Farm one is awesome, though.

[skygiants]

Actually that's the cover for the little-known sequel, Alanna: A League Of Their Own. Sadly, Tortallans have not quite grasped the fundamental principles of baseball bats.

I think my favorite part is Judith. JUST LEAVE HER IN HER MISERY.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

The Queen of Attolia cover will always be my favourite. Because you look at it when you start the book, but you don't really look at it, and then a few chapters in you're like OH MY GOD and then near the end of the book the second OH MY GOD hits and you feel kind of foolish because really, it was all there in front of your eyes!

Ireeeeeeeeeeene ;_;

[skygiants]

I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CANNOT EXPRESS IT IN WORDS.

(There's also something . . . weirdly hot about it? I mean, for a cover that is basically a dress and a hook. BUT.)

[spence-reid.livejournal.com]

Love!

[skygiants]

Hee, thanks!

[kd7sov]

...Right. Firefox lost my whole big long comment here, so I'm not going to go trolling for images again. Young Wizards. David Bowers has the Nostalgia Covers, on the books when I first found them. Cliff Nielsen drew the Good Covers, the ones I like and have five of. Greg Swearingen did the Chibi Covers, which are not actually very chibi but which I can't stand.

[skygiants]

I'm trying to remember now which my original Young Wizard covers were! I just remember that the High Wizardry cover was (unsurprisingly) very, very red.

[furikku.livejournal.com]

HELL YEAH NotS + HoV WOO

My paperbacks of those have really 80s-tastic covers. One of them is HOT PINK. It is great.

LJ Smith owns.

[skygiants]

I don't think I've ever even seen the 80s-tastic pink covers! But now I am FATALLY CURIOUS. (Are they getting reprinted along with her others? I really hope they are!)

[lacewood]

I've never seen those Penguin comic covers before! I would TOTALLY have gotten The Three Musketeers if I'd seen that one around omg.

Also, while I like pretty covers I don't usually look at them very hard, which might be why it's taken me UP TILL NOW to recognise... what's on The Queen of Attolia cover? orzzz (WAITAMINUTE HOW DID I NOT REALISE THAT WAS A HOOK WHAT THE HELL SELF.)

[skygiants]

THEY ARE MY FAVORITE. I wish to declaim my eternal love for whoever over at Penguin decided to commission them.

Hahahaha well as you can see by my experience with Farthing that . . . is not something unknown to me! I did notice the hook on Queen of Attolia, though.