(no subject)

[skygiants]

Reasons I Love And Hate New York (But More Love), #76:

Yesterday I planned to take a quick trip after work to the library to pick up some DVDs. I actually managed to keep my trip to the library quick - which is impressive, for me - but on exiting the building I looked left, and saw a stall selling funnel cake on a perpendicular street down which I had never walked.

Now, it is a (relatively) little-known fact that funnel cake is among my greatest weaknesses. Funnel cake is to me as small adorable floppy bunnies are to Honey or cute shoes are to several members of my flist. Unable to resist temptation, I stepped into the street that held the funnel cake stand - and abruptly found myself in a PARALLEL UNIVERSE. I had been standing in a tiny quiet alleyway in Tribeca, and all of a sudden: carnival barkers! Popcorn and pizza! Stalls selling skirts and chatchkes and, in one instance, hundreds of tiny plastic Jesuses! (Jesii?) And literally every fourth stand was selling funnel cake and other delectable fried items.

The stalls went in a line down the street as far as the eye could see. Drawn in deeper and deeper by the lure of fried things, I continued through the carnival like one in a trance, until I came face-to-face with a terrifying vision: one of the most frightening clowns I have ever seen IN MY LIFE, sitting IN A CAGE on top of a booth as he shouted at the crowd, the strains of Bohemian Rhapsody thundering around him.

I know my evil carnival fiction, and I know my evil clown fiction. Having no desire to end up a small kewpie doll, enslaved to a spirit bathhouse, or having an orgy with six of my best friends in the sewers, you'd better believe I fled that place right quick and did not look back.

(. . . but I did stop on the outskirts to get a deep-fried Oreo, because despite the threat of lurking evil when else in my life am I going to get a chance to eat a deep-fried Oreo?)

Comments

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

!!!!

Becca, this post is excellent.

*runs before being eaten by clowns*

[skygiants]

WISE MOVE. New York City, man. Keeps you on your toes with the terrifying phenomena!

[saphyria.livejournal.com]

Oh wow.

Let us hope that your fried oreo isn't like Persephone's pomegranate seeds.

[skygiants]

I am very much hoping that too. O.O My one reassuring thought is that a fried oreo is not nearly classy enough to be a mythological binding factor!

[saphyria.livejournal.com]

Iiiiii dunno... they are pretty legendary.

But I hope you're right. I'd hate to think of you being forced to be carny for a month every year.

[skygiants]

Not as legendary as the fried Twinkies, also available, though, so maybe by avoiding those I narrowly saved myself?

. . . I ALSO HATE TO THINK OF THIS. *TERRIFIED*

[sandrylene.livejournal.com]

I second this. :D

Also, man, if only I'd known your weakness before. I could have used it to [unspeakable horror redacted]. Ah well, come visit again some time soon, friiieeend! ;)

[chlorrel.livejournal.com]

I will sit here jealous because what you probably ran into is this (http://www.sangennaro.org/).

The San Gennaro festival is like one of my favorite times in the city. ENJOY AND EAT A ZEPPOLI FOR ME!

[skygiants]

*extremely suspicious look* I am still not entirely sure that you WEREN'T behind this! (I would have been certain if the clown had been wearing a crabhat.)

[skygiants]

Dude, that does look like what I found! :O

. . . that means the funnel cake will be here all week? I AM DOOMED.

[chlorrel.livejournal.com]

YES!

And the evil clown (I never liked him) and all the games and fun stuff.

I miss it.

[skygiants]

Obviously you should come back and visit it!

(Logistics, what logistics?)

[dramawench.livejournal.com]

....

Wow. that is so random!

[wanderlustlover]

Heee.


This is all I have. *grins*



Heee.

[skygiants]

Only in New York! Which is why I sort of love it. NEVER BORED.

[skygiants]

*deadpan* I am glad my terror serves to entertain you.


*giggling*

[genarti]

This is fabulous.

Mildly terrifying, yet fabulous!

[mercuriazs.livejournal.com]

That is amazing. I mean, my personal weakness is curiosity-about-whether-frightening-fictional-phenomena-exist, so I probably would have stayed around to let the clown eat my soul ...

But good call, you! (Orgies what?)

[skygiants]

What do you mean, mildly? >:O ARE YOU MAKING LIGHT OF MY TERRIFYING EXPERIENCE HERE

[skygiants]

I might have stayed if it had been anything other than clowns . . . I mean, dragons, nifty! Awesome! Vampires, I can deal with that, just smack them when they get too emo! But clowns????

(Thaaaaaat would be the end of Stephen King's It. Um, sorry for the spoiler. :D?)

ALSO HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU

[shati.livejournal.com]

Your terror serves admirably to entertain me!

[ceitfianna]

Now I want a funnel cake, I could get one in Rehoboth I think.

[genarti]

I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF TRIVIALIZING YOUR TRAUMA IN SUCH A MANNER

[batyatoon]

... the thing is, with that icon I am hearing the line in Yzma voice.

*terrified*

[batyatoon]

can't go to the carnival. clown will eat me.

[skygiants]

GEN IS NOT HELPFUL WITH LOWERING THE TERROR QUOTIENT

[skygiants]

It is good to know I have such caring friends! :D

[skygiants]

Or you could come to NYC and brave the terrifying clown! Apparently he'll BE HERE ALL WEEK O.O

[skygiants]

You failed to warn me your city had evil clowns! I feel this is a dereliction of duty. :O

[batyatoon]

WE DID NOT HAVE EVIL CLOWNS BEFORE YOU SHOWED UP, YOUNG LADY.

[skygiants]

LIES! JENNY INFORMS ME RELIABLY THAT THE CLOWNS ARE THERE EVERY YEAR.

Maybe they weren't evil before I showed up . . .

[chlorrel.livejournal.com]

Ahaha OBVIOUSLY!

[sandrylene.livejournal.com]

Why would anyone want to *lower* the terror quotient?

Being the protagonist in a horror novel: ur doin it wrong

[skygiants]

SOMEHOW I AM OKAY WITH THIS. Call me a snob but I do not feel R.L. Stine is qualified to be the author of my life! Now, if I was given the chance to be a protagonist in a Discworld novel . . .

[mercuriazs.livejournal.com]

WHY THANK YOU. I'M TWENTY NOW.

(Oh my god I don't even care that it's a spoiler, are you serious??? *dashes off to wikipedia*)

Vampires would be awesome. I had a dream last night my blood was poisonous to vampires. It was cool.

Except for some reason it made normal humans want to eat me ...

[skygiants]

TWENTY IS AN EXCELLENT AGE! END OF DECADE NUMBER TWO, YO.

(I AM SO SERIOUS. But that is not the disturbing part, the disturbing part is that they are TWELVE. *cries*)

. . . your dream is surprisingly well-plotted! I bet the rest of the world wants to become poisonous to vampires too. Alternately, they just want to become cool as you. \o/