Downside: after a day which has already included a full-length comedy of travel errors (mostly of my own doing), I am currently grounded in Minneapolis. Also, for the icing on the cake, I broke my shoe. :(
Upside: I think I spoke reasonably eloquently at my conference presentation this morning, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, Minneapolis airport has wi-fi! TEN POINTS TO MINNEAPYFFINDOR. So I'm gonna use the time to write up How Much For Just The Planet
, because it's impossible to be as cranky as you otherwise might be when you remember that a Star Trek novel exists that literally just consists of the TOS cast and a bunch of Klingons being flung directly into a musical episode.
The plot of How Much For Just The Planet
theoretically involves the Klingons and the Federation competing for a planet full of resources, but the inhabitants of the planet see this serious business Star Trek plot coming a mile away and just decide they are going to NOPE STRAIGHT OUT OF IT. "How can we get rid of the interstellar politics headed our way? Easy! WE WILL CONFUSE AND IRRITATE THE HECK OUT OF THEM UNTIL THEY LEAVE."
This launches everybody into a highly choreographed series of HIJINKS, designed for the mockery of the visitors and entertainment of the locals, who are all HUGE FILM AND DRAMA NERDS, in which:
- Kirk, an Earth diplomat that he used to date, and their rom-com Klingon counterparts embark on an elaborate screwball sequence of fake burglaries and mistaken identities to help a couple of the locals get hitched
- Scotty and Chekhov get into a DUEL with some Klingons that can only be settled the old-fashioned way: with BATTLE GOLF
- Uhura and a film-nerd Klingon, the smartest members of their respective crews, have an incredibly genre-savvy film noir adventure
- McCoy and Sulu get kidnapped by an evil singing pirate queen and have to fight their way out with the help of the pastry cooks
Sorry, did I say 'singing pirate queen?' This is misleading; everything and everyone is singing. EVERYONE. Except of course for the very confused Enterprise team and Klingons, who manage to have a lot of beautiful bonding in their constant mutual confusion and dismay.
In addition to being a loving homage to screwball comedy, the book is also a loving homage to outdated technology; as a film archivist, the in-text educational film delighted my heart and soul.
-- and I knew citing this book would improve the situation! There is now a light on the horizon, and if I am very lucky, there is still a chance I may get back to New York before midnight. Which, all things considered, is not that bad! ONWARDS.