(no subject)

[skygiants]

Garth Nix's Newt's Emerald is by far the least substantive book that I have read this year. If what you are looking for is pure fluff with zero emotional stakes - and who among us does not sometimes want pure fluff with zero emotional stakes? - then congratulations, your search is done, I have identified the book for you.

OK, let's see what I have retained about the story in the month since I read this. The plot centers around our Plucky Heroine, Truthful Newington, who is going to London for her first season! and meanwhile, has to pursue a missing magical family heirloom which has been stolen by nefarious evildoers, for reasons.

Upon arriving in London, Lady Truthful's Eccentric Aunt suggests that her best method to pursue this is to cross-dress as her own fake French cousin, because reasons.

(The Eccentric Aunt is, unsurprisingly, the best character in the book. Eventually it is revealed that not only did she herself spend the first several decades of her married life cross-dressing in the army with her husband, her current lady's maid is actually their former army sergeant/valet. There are several possible implications to be drawn from this, none of which are discussed but all of which are fantastic. Yuletide fic!)

Anyway, then Truthful, in disguise as her fake French cousin, meets and is befriended by a dashing army captain! who thinks she may be a spy! and also keeps telling her how much he dislikes women, due to reasons. (I can't honestly remember if there is an angsty-past reason why he dislikes women. Probably there is, but if so it is completely unmemorable.)

Then there are some Adventurous High Jinks, and some Misunderstandings, and a Masked Ball, and a Magical Showdown, and everything turns out exactly as you would expect, which is 100% fine. Neither the plot, the characters, nor the worldbuilding have any depth whatsoever, but you know what, did I laugh during the wacky sequence in which Truthful is trapped in a wine barrel with her love interest and desperately attempting to make sure her magical mustache of cross-dressing stays attached? ABSOLUTELY I did.

Comments

[brownbetty]

Is there a point where a dude is like "I'm weirdly attracted to this beardless youth, and wondering if I may have been making some mistaken assumptions about my sexuality"?

Because if not, there better be a point where someone is like "Hello, youth, would you like to learn more about the Greeks and their passions!?"

[skygiants]

NO. >:( Despite all the cross-dressing for fun and profit, the book tragically fails to depict any actual attraction that isn't arrow-straight (aside from the conclusions one might draw about Eccentric Aunt & co.) And, like, if you're going to do that, why even WRITE a cross-dressed romance! Garth Nix, I sentence you to sit down and watch all 20 episodes of Sungkyunkwan Scandal until you understand what we're actually here for.

[brownbetty]

oh geez. It's like when someone makes carmelized onion ice-cream. Like, I admire your artistry, but I think you've missed the point.

[sovay]

Eventually it is revealed that not only did she herself spend the first several decades of her married life cross-dressing in the army with her husband, her current lady's maid is actually their former army sergeant/valet.

WHERE IS THIS NOVEL.

[skygiants]

RIGHT? RIGHT. I MEAN.

[rymenhild]

There is a (spoiler in ROT13) genaf ynql'f znvq in the_comfortable_courtesan, but she was never in the army, alas.

I would certainly read the novel of the cross-dressing soldier, her (?) pansexual soldier husband, and their genderqueer valet/sergeant/lady's maid. I would read all the novels built on this premise.

I mean, honestly, I will probably also read the Garth Nix book, as soon as I find a library copy. I do enjoy plotless semi-Regency post-Heyer fluff, and I admit it.

[skygiants]

Read it, and then write me all of the Awesomely Eccentric Aunt backstory fanfic! :D

[ceitfianna]

Ooh, I'm glad this was fun. The last book of his I read, a collection of short stories was a real mix and Clariel wasn't my favorite but this looks like a nice treat for a trip.

[skygiants]

I haven't read any of his books between literally the year 2004 and now, but this was definitely enjoyable. I should go back and reread the Abhorsen books sometime!

[ceitfianna]

The original trilogy is wonderful. To Hold the Bridge, a collection of short stories is intriguing as is Over the Wall but Clariel has tons of world building but not a great protagnist. He's one of those authors that sometimes makes me go, do better, I know you can and then I'm happy my favorite character isn't his. I have more space for filling in blanks and not worrying about canon not working.

[aamcnamara]

"There are several possible implications to be drawn from this, none of which are discussed but all of which are fantastic. Yuletide fic!"
There was one line, I forget when or where, that DEEPLY implied anal sex funtimes to me. Something about the aunt saying that their disguises were *very* thorough, maybe?

And yeah, this book is 100% froth, but if that is what one wants going in, it is utterly satisfying.

[skygiants]

YES I VAGUELY REMEMBER THIS NOW. Like, I remember feeling 100% convinced that amazing sexy shenanigans were DEFINITELY going down with Eccentric Aunt Awesome. (In this one throwaway paragraph, but what a GREAT throwaway paragraph.)

[starlady]

I loved it though, and I would totally read 10 more books set in the same world. It's also apparently a total rewrite of a 20+ year old ms, so I do wonder if he returned to the setting now it would acquire more depth. If nothing else, I loved it because it was a male author unapologetically writing a tribute to Heyer.

[skygiants]

Oh, absolutely - though, as mentioned above, needs more queer subtext! (in the main storyline) (Eccentric Aunt Awesome aside).

Yeah, I was curious about that too; like, apparently originally there was a mystery novel written around it, which makes me wonder if the mystery novel was meant to have the emotional heft? Not that everything needs to have emotional heft! Sometimes you just want to hang out in cotton candy-land and not wonder about the sociopolitical implications of the fact that Truthful has basically no reaction to learning that her maid and constant companion has been an evil fairy scheming against her for the last sixteen years

[dhampyresa]

the wacky sequence in which Truthful is trapped in a wine barrel with her love interest and desperately attempting to make sure her magical mustache of cross-dressing stays attached

SOLD.

[skygiants]

RIGHT?

[lnhammer]

I got a couple chapters into this before dropping it -- not only not enough emotional stakes to pull me along, but it was VERY thin in the Heyer-lite writing, especially compared to Sorcerer to the Crown.

---L.

[skygiants]

Oh, lord, there's no comparison between the two, Sorcerer to the Crown is better in almost every conceivable way. But it's not even trying to do any of the heavy lifting Sorcerer does either, this book is very happy to accept the Regency as set dressing without really looking under the hood of its mores and -isms at all.

[lnhammer]

Egg-zackle.