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Aug. 23rd, 2018 06:20 pmI love stories about horrifying-but-supportive ghosts, which is one of several reasons Witch is going in the upper category of Barbara Michaels books for me.
Our Heroine, Ellen, is a respectable 38-year-old single mom and has spent the past 15 years keeping house for her daughter and three nephews while hopelessly pining for her tragically widowed brother-in-law. But now the kids are all going off to college, the brother-in-law is going abroad in the diplomatic service, and Ellen is going to BUY HERSELF A HOUSE and LEARN SOME FOREIGN LANGUAGES and DO FANCY COOKING and BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN with NO STUPID CRUSHES ON ANYONE.
ELLEN: I am looking for a very picturesque country house where I can, like, knit! Do fancy cooking! Pursue hobbies! Learn how to can things!
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: I do own a picturesque house, which is for sale, but unfortunately it is very isolated and needs a lot of repair work -
ELLEN: Gorgeous!
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and the townsfolk are all very weird and judgmental and belong to some kind of strange Puritan cult -
ELLEN: Eh, I don't want to hang out much with people anyway.
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and also people say the house is haunted by the ghost of a sixteenth-century witch -
ELLEN: Yes but it's SO PRETTY.
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and honestly I don't think you should buy it? It's not worth it. You seem like a nice lady. Go somewhere better and buy a different, less haunted house.
ELLEN: Please just let me give you money.
So Ellen moves into her house, and quickly makes friends with the cute bachelor next door.
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: Alas! My troubled nephew is the town delinquent! He bullies people and murders animals for fun!
ELLEN: ...has....he seen a child psychologist?
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: .... definitely. Lots. Child psychology coming out his ears.
ELLEN: Because, you know, I've done a lot of work with troubled teens, and I can give you some helpful tips -
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: That's very sweet of you but I'm afraid he's just TOO FAR GONE TO REACH!
Then Ellen actually meets Troubled Tim the Town Delinquent.
ELLEN: oh no, he's hot! .... thank God my teen daughter isn't here or we would have some real Romeo and Juliet nonsense on our hands.
Ellen spends the next hundred pages or so accidentally pissing off all the townsfolk, accidentally predicting the weather, accidentally telling the fortunes of all the town teens, and generally making herself beloved by all. Meanwhile, the ghost of the witch who lived in her house and was killed by an angry mob sometimes hangs creepily from her ceiling at night, and a ghost cat shows up on her doorstep, and every so often when Ellen gets real mad at the townsfolk she starts speaking in tongues. But mostly she's too busy a.) trying to convince the bachelor next door that Troubled Tim really should see another child psychologist and b.) really enjoying doing the kind of fancy cooking she never got a chance to do in a household full of kids to pay attention to all of this!
Occasionally she is interrupted in all these interesting pursuits by nice letters from her brother-in-law Jack.
JACK: Hey Ellen, I love you and miss you and really just wish we could have lived together forever -
ELLEN: It's so sweet that Jack is trying to make me feel better, I must never let him know about my inappropriate feelings!
Anyway, everything comes to a head when Ellen's daughter Penny DOES turn up unexpectedly. Just as predicted, sparks fly between Penny and Troubled Tim, but the biggest significance about Penny's return is that
( finale spoilers )
Our Heroine, Ellen, is a respectable 38-year-old single mom and has spent the past 15 years keeping house for her daughter and three nephews while hopelessly pining for her tragically widowed brother-in-law. But now the kids are all going off to college, the brother-in-law is going abroad in the diplomatic service, and Ellen is going to BUY HERSELF A HOUSE and LEARN SOME FOREIGN LANGUAGES and DO FANCY COOKING and BE AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN with NO STUPID CRUSHES ON ANYONE.
ELLEN: I am looking for a very picturesque country house where I can, like, knit! Do fancy cooking! Pursue hobbies! Learn how to can things!
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: I do own a picturesque house, which is for sale, but unfortunately it is very isolated and needs a lot of repair work -
ELLEN: Gorgeous!
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and the townsfolk are all very weird and judgmental and belong to some kind of strange Puritan cult -
ELLEN: Eh, I don't want to hang out much with people anyway.
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and also people say the house is haunted by the ghost of a sixteenth-century witch -
ELLEN: Yes but it's SO PRETTY.
AN ECCENTRIC LOCAL HOMEOWNER: - and honestly I don't think you should buy it? It's not worth it. You seem like a nice lady. Go somewhere better and buy a different, less haunted house.
ELLEN: Please just let me give you money.
So Ellen moves into her house, and quickly makes friends with the cute bachelor next door.
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: Alas! My troubled nephew is the town delinquent! He bullies people and murders animals for fun!
ELLEN: ...has....he seen a child psychologist?
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: .... definitely. Lots. Child psychology coming out his ears.
ELLEN: Because, you know, I've done a lot of work with troubled teens, and I can give you some helpful tips -
THE BACHELOR NEXT DOOR: That's very sweet of you but I'm afraid he's just TOO FAR GONE TO REACH!
Then Ellen actually meets Troubled Tim the Town Delinquent.
ELLEN: oh no, he's hot! .... thank God my teen daughter isn't here or we would have some real Romeo and Juliet nonsense on our hands.
Ellen spends the next hundred pages or so accidentally pissing off all the townsfolk, accidentally predicting the weather, accidentally telling the fortunes of all the town teens, and generally making herself beloved by all. Meanwhile, the ghost of the witch who lived in her house and was killed by an angry mob sometimes hangs creepily from her ceiling at night, and a ghost cat shows up on her doorstep, and every so often when Ellen gets real mad at the townsfolk she starts speaking in tongues. But mostly she's too busy a.) trying to convince the bachelor next door that Troubled Tim really should see another child psychologist and b.) really enjoying doing the kind of fancy cooking she never got a chance to do in a household full of kids to pay attention to all of this!
Occasionally she is interrupted in all these interesting pursuits by nice letters from her brother-in-law Jack.
JACK: Hey Ellen, I love you and miss you and really just wish we could have lived together forever -
ELLEN: It's so sweet that Jack is trying to make me feel better, I must never let him know about my inappropriate feelings!
Anyway, everything comes to a head when Ellen's daughter Penny DOES turn up unexpectedly. Just as predicted, sparks fly between Penny and Troubled Tim, but the biggest significance about Penny's return is that
( finale spoilers )
