(no subject)

[skygiants]

So one of the things I did this weekend in Boston was hang out at Arisia, on which possibly more anon. But the other thing I did was go see a play called The Heart of Robin Hood with genarti, thewickedlady and wakeupnew, which is certainly one of the most ridiculous Robin Hood adaptations I have ever experienced.

The Heart of Robin Hood involves a lot of crossdressing, shirtlessness, adorable moppet, and ... creepy meat puppets ... and goes something along these lines:

THE LOCAL HIPSTER BLUEGRASS BAND WHO DOES THE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW: *CAVORT*
ROBIN HOOD: I'm not your AVERAGE Robin Hood! I'm a brute! I'm a thug! I totally rob and kill people and keep the money for myself! Most importantly, I NEVER wear a shirt.
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: While not particularly merry, we are also very shirtless.
MAID MARIAN: I hate Prince John, and the Crusades, and my stupid younger sister, and castles and nobility, and EVERYTHING. I'm going to run away and join Robin Hood's men!
ROBIN HOOD: LOL NO. Ten seconds of bickery sexual tension is all you're getting.
MAID MARIAN: ... fine. If you can't join them, BEAT THEM. I am now: MARTIN OF SHERWOOD! I rob from the rich and give to the poor! AND? I wear a shirt. BEAT THAT.
MAID MARIAN'S WACKY GAY SIDEKICK PIERRE: An iconic Robin Hood shirt.
MAID MARIAN: An iconic Robin Hood shirt. In which I look really hot and the ladies love me.
ROBBED LADY: We really do. *__*

ROBIN HOOD: ...while I will grant you are distressingly hot, you are also: GOING DOWN.
SOME VILLAGER: Martin of Sherwood! We need your help to save some adorable moppets!
ROBIN HOOD: Look, sorry, villager, but I am busy KILLING Martin of Sherwood, so --
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: But Robin, didn't you hear? Adorable moppets are in danger!
ROBIN HOOD: Since when do we care about adorable moppets?!?
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Since Martin of Sherwood was really earnest and hot, I think.
ROBIN HOOD: ....FINE. We will let Martin and his wacky sidekick live so we can rescue the adorable moppets. Don't get too cozy, Martin, I'll most likely kill you in the morning.
MAID MARIAN: Or, alternate plan, we can have midnight cross-dressed sexual tension in the forest.
ROBIN HOOD: ...or that. I guess.
MAID MARIAN: Maybe we could even sing about our feelings!
THE LOCAL HIPSTER BLUEGRASS BAND WHO DOES THE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW: *CAVORT HOPEFULLY*
ROBIN HOOD: .... I don't sing.

PRINCE JOHN: Totally gonna kill the adorable moppets. Also, totally set on marrying Marian. Why? BECAUSE I'M EEEEEEEVIIIIIIL.
MAID MARIAN: The only way for me to resolve this situation is to agree to marry Prince John if he saves the moppets!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Yo, what happened to Martin? He went off muttering something about saving the moppets and has, weirdly, disappeared into the castle. JUST AT THE SAME TIME as Marian reappeared in the castle.
MAID MARIAN'S WACKY GAY SIDEKICK PIERRE: ISN'T THAT WEIRD, YES.
ROBIN HOOD: Hey, I have a brilliant plan! Let's all disguise ourselves as nuns and sneak into the castle to talk to Marian about Martin!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Yay! NUN DISGUISES ARE THE BEST DISGUISES.

ROBIN HOOD: So, Marian ....
MAID MARIAN: Yes?
ROBIN HOOD: .... what's a hot girl like you doing in a wedding like this?
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: .... AND ALSO is our friend Martin being imprisoned and tortured as we speak?
MAID MARIAN: Right! Yes. Martin. Yes. Martin is .... totally being tortured ... horribly ... right now. Come back later and I'll get him for you! IN DISGUISE AGAIN, please, because this nun thing is hilarious.

ROBIN HOOD: Man, though, where am I gonna get another disguise?
GUY OF GISBORNE: I am here to stabbinate Robin Hood!
ROBIN HOOD: Or get stabbinated. Ho ho! -- wait! ANOTHER BRILLIANT PLAN.

DEAD MEAT PUPPET GUY OF GISBORNE: Hello Prince John! I am totally an alive henchman and not a dead meat puppet piloted by a band of creatively macabre outlaws!
BECCA: ... I ... will admit that I was not expecting that.

MAID MARIAN: Hey fellas! Give me two seconds to put on my fake stubble find ... Martin ... and I will ... yes. HERE IS MARTIN HELLO.
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Martin! We're so glad to have you back! You're looking great for someone who was being brutally tortured just this morning!
ROBIN HOOD: Martin! We're so glad to have you back! .... now where did your hot friend go?
MAID MARIAN: I thought I was the hot friend. >:| Also, don't we have some adorable moppets to rescue?

(MEANWHILE, THE ADORABLE MOPPETS: are wandering around by themselves in the woods having sad vision of their dead parents. NO BIG.)

ROBIN HOOD: Wait, we can't make our escape until I've talked with Marian!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: WHY?!?!
PRINCE JOHN: Ho ho! Now I have captured you all, will marry Marian, and will spend the rest of my life torturing Robin Hood ... TO THE PAIN!
ROBIN HOOD: You, sir, are no Prince Humperdinck. >:(
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Okay, yes, sure, but where'd Martin go?

MAID MARIAN'S WACKY GAY SIDEKICK PIERRE: Hey, local hipster bluegrass band who do the music for the show, want to break the fourth wall to help me rescue all of Robin Hood's merry men?
LOCAL HIPSTER BLUEGRASS BAND WHO DO THE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW: *CAVORT HELPFULLY*
MAID MARIAN'S WACKY GAY SIDEKICK PIERRE: Who is the most competent person in the show? I AM! :D
ROBIN HOOD: And now, to rescue Marian!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: WHY?!?!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Also, where the heck is Martin?

PRINCE JOHN: Marian, now I will marry you!
ADORABLE MOPPETS: We got here just in time on our tiny adorable feet! You can't marry her! Marian loves Robin Hood!
DEUS EX MARIAN'S DAD: I ALSO GOT HERE JUST IN TIME HEY GUESS WHAT I AM HOME FROM THE WARS AND EVERYONE IS GROUNDED. PRINCE JOHN, YOU ARE GROUNDED TIMES TEN. RANDOM SHIRTLESS DUDE, WHO ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DAUGHTER, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU SHOULD NOT ALSO BE INSTANTLY GROUNDED AS WELL.
ROBIN HOOD: I am Robin Hood and I have totally decided to rob from the rich and give to the poor and also I love Marian!
ROBIN HOOD'S MEN: Seriously, where is this even coming from? ALSO WHERE IS MARTIN.
MAID MARIAN: Um. I can explain about that.
DEUS EX MARIAN'S DAD: ...MARIAN YOU ARE ALSO EXTREMELY GROUNDED. But you can marry this shirtless hipster if you really want, I guess.
MAID MARIAN: Robin do you think we could sing about our feelings now?
LOCAL HIPSTER BLUEGRASS BAND WHO DO THE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW: *CAVORT HELPFULLY*
ROBIN HOOD: ...FINE. Since I am no longer a thug, but instead a hero, we'll ALL sing about our feelings and cavort and do aerials on the extremely pretty scenery. WHY NOT.
MAID MARIAN: :D :D :D :D :D!
ROBIN HOOD: ... but I still will not wear a shirt.
MAID MARIAN: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D!

In other news, the set was amazing, the aerials and acrobatics were pretty stellar, the costumes were hilariously all-over-the-place (why did Adorable Moppet #1 get a Regency jacket and the random nobles get random steampunk bustles? WHY NOT), and all the actors chewed every piece of scenery they could get their teeth into with the greatest of glee. GENERALLY AN ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE FOR ALL.

Comments

[sovay]

DEUS EX MARIAN'S DAD

BEST.

[skygiants]

In my heart of hearts I was really hoping that Marian's dad would just be like "RANDOM SCRUFFY BANDIT, BACK TO THE FOREST. MARIAN, YOU'RE GROUNDED. OKAY EVERYONE WE'RE DONE" and that would be the end of the play, but I suppose I can live with a triumphant wedding as well.

[dragovianknight]

I am deeply saddened not to have witnessed the glory that is this play.

[skygiants]

There's a rumor it may come off-Broadway! THERE'S STILL TIME.

[ceitfianna]

Some parts of this actually vaguely resemble Paul Creswick's Robin Hood, Marian crossdresses when Will's captured as a palmer. And though they save Will, Robin spends time going wait, where's the palmer?

Otherwise, I wish there were pictures, because this sounds fun and like something that I would have liked.

[skygiants]

I wish I could illustrate as well! The set really was impressive and is WELL WORTH showing off.

[luzula]

*googles "moppet"*

I guess you have taught me a new word today!

[skygiants]

I strive to provide educational content for readers of this blog!

[nny]

Sometimes I think you live in an alternative universe.

[skygiants]

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world!

[jinian]

We should all spend more time there! Oh wait.

[thewickedlady]

hey hey, I'm thewickedlady on dreamwidth. :D

I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'D LOVE IT!!!

[skygiants]

Whoops! Old LJ habits die hard. *sheepish*

IT WAS ENORMOUS FUN

[opusculasedfera]

...I'm still a little stuck on DEAD MEATPUPPET HENCHMAN, WHAT THE HELL?

But this sounds like it was an excellently bizarre experience! :D

[skygiants]

I WAS PRETTY BOGGLED BY THAT TOO, I GOTTA SAY. It's like, wacky wacky hijinks hijinks banjo twanging cheesy jokes wacky hijinks DEAD MEAT PUPPET OF GISBORNE!!!!! No one expects the meat puppet inquisition.

(Me, later: so I was startled by the meat puppet thing!
genarti: Yes, the actor did such an amazing job looking like he was being puppeted! That was really incredible movement work!
Me: yes, I mean ... I was talking more about the fact that it's incredibly gruesome, but ... that is also true! WELL PLAYED, MEAT PUPPET OF GISBORNE, I guess.)

[opusculasedfera]

Well, you wouldn't want people not to believe in their commitment to this dead-body puppetry.

[meganbmoore]

So, it's the best version of Robin Hood since Men in Tights?

[skygiants]

Well, I still will always have a deep fondness for McKinley's Outlaws of Sherwood, which also has cross-dressing and bonus more than one woman.

(Okay, technically this show had three women, but one of them was Marian's Designated Vain and Awful Sister and one of them was a traumatized adorable moppet with two lines.)

THAT SAID THIS WAS PRETTY GREAT.

...and did Outlaws of Sherwood even come out after Men in Tights? Maybe it was before!

[meganbmoore]

I think Outlaws of Sherwod came first.

Though there's also that Keira Knightley TV movie about Robin Hood's daughter.

[skygiants]

Somehow I never saw that one! Someday I'll fix that.

[littledust]

Hee! As someone who also saw the show, I confirm the summary as 100% accurate. So many of my friends raved about the show that I was bitterly disappointed when it was not Outlaws of Sherwood. Then I maybe scribbled in a notebook about how to make it more like the book...

[skygiants]

Outlaws of Sherwood: STILL THE GREATEST EVER, also featuring more than one sympathetic female character! (Well, two, but I still find it hard to count the adorable moppet.) That said, until someone makes the Outlaws of Sherwood TV adaptation of my heart, I will take this one in the meantime. :D