(no subject)

[skygiants]

Twice recently rymenhild has brought joy into my life. The first time was when I found out that there was a Valdemar ficathon scheduled and emailed her about it. She explained to me that the Valdemar fandom had experienced a small explosion, and the ficathon was in fact the celebration of a victory won by an anonymous fail_fandomanon person, known only as Vanyel's Campaign Manager, who after much successful lobbying and quoting of Mercedes Lackey's loving depictions of Vanyel's tragedy at last saw Vanyel Ashkevron crowned the Woobiest Character Ever.

This is so appropriate that I don't really have words to express it. The nineties have returned -- the once and future nineties -- and Vanyel reigns enthroned, as always was destined, from the beginning to the end of time, below a banner that says "Saddest of all the medium-length* tales ever told."

*you know, the ones appropriate for a three-volume novel in mass-market paperback form

The second time was today when she told me that Frank Wildhorn -- my favorite-least-favorite composer of musical theater, author of such enduring works as The Scarlet Pimpernel: The Musical, Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical, and Death Note: The Musical -- just got married to takarazuka actress Yoka Wao, known for playing such roles as the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, and Dracula in Wildhorn's own Dracula: The Musical. That last one isn't even a takarazuka show! They just cast her as Dracula anyway, I guess because she's just that good at incarnating seductive evil in a tuxedo.

When Andrew Lloyd Webber cast his girlfriend as Christine, that was creepy. This? This is AMAZING. Frank Wildhorn is a man who is living his dream, and I have never liked him better.

Comments

Oh. My.

[rymenhild]

With King Arthur, Charlie Hunnam and Guy Ritchie are attempting to do something new with the legendary hero: make him a kickass action hero.

New? Um, anyone remember the Giant of Mont St. Michel?

This King Arthur wouldn’t be the same virtuous, medieval Superman we’ve seen before.

Superman is an action hero, right?

Orphaned as an infant

Come on, if you're looking for gritty, why not go all-out with "conceived when a king decided to seduce his subordinate's wife while in magical disguise as her husband?"

and raised by three prostitutes in the 5th century version of London,

Well, why not? I hope they're named Niniane, Morgause, and Morgan.

this Arthur is more of a street-wise hood, who looks after the people living in his tiny corner of the world.

Well, why not? Primus inter pares, etc.

Instead of going with the Batman Begins-esque, stripped down reboot, King Arthur sprints full blast in the opposite direction with giant snakes,

I think they're called dragons.

massive war elephants,

Great, why not? Arthur goes up against eastern armies a few times.

and a monstrous viking-like creature known as The Nemesis.

Um, Vikings are human...

Re: Oh. My.

[genarti]

Yes, heaven knows, if there's one thing King Arthur's never been -- including in recent movies -- it's a kickass action hero!

I mean, Guy Ritchie made a completely ridiculous steampunk madcap Sherlock Holmes movie lots of fun IMO, so I'm willing to allow that this may end up being nonsensical fun! Or even weirdly good! Oooor it may be an incoherent self-congratulatory mess. A lot of that article could be a reviewer's bizarre take. BUT YEP.

I still can't get over "monstrous viking-like creature," though. What does that even MEAN? A troll who arrives in a longship??

Re: Oh. My.

[rymenhild]

Well, it can't be worse than King Arthur (2004), where Lancelot travels from his home among the barbaric Germanic tribes (!) to Londinium by way of Hadrian's Wall (I mean, did anyone involved in the production look at a MAP?). That film was also notable in having the priest (but no other character in the film) speak Latin (IT WAS A FREAKING ROMAN COLONY), referring to the Picts as Woads (I mean, they're painted blue, but...), and finishing with a wedding involving Keira Knightley's Guinevere in a WHITE LACE GOWN (at which point any historical costumers in the audience just put their heads in their hands and started crying).

Re: Oh. My.

[silveraspen]

I REMEMBER THAT MOVIE. Gen and I ended up with some useful icons from it.

And the trainwreck was AMAZING. Seriously, WTF.

Re: Oh. My.

[genarti]

Yes! As Aspen says, I took all of my Lan icons from that movie.

I sure had fun cackling incredulously through it, but as a King Arthur reworking... uhhhh. IT SURE MADE SOME ARTISTIC CHOICES, it did.

Re: Oh. My.

[rymenhild]

You know, I think I knew that Moiraine's icons were from King Arthur, but I didn't make the connection to Lan's icons. This is probably because the only thing I actually did admire in that film was Keira Knightley wearing thin strips of leather. I've forgotten all the male actors!

Re: Oh. My.

[skygiants]

I just don't understand why, if they want to make ridiculous Arthurian films, they don't take advantage of some of the bounty that's already in existence! Consider:

a.) Winter of Magic's Return. POSTAPOCALYPTIC KING ARTHUR. Grim! Gritty! Gets in on YA's favorite trend! That kid from the Hunger Games can star, it'll be fine!

b.) The Stolen Lake. King Arthur! in South America! Guinevere is a cannibal who eats the bones of young maidens!! YOU'VE NEVER SEEN AN ARTHUR LIKE IT BEFORE!!!

c.) Once and Future King, in all seriousness please, please, please just do a Once and Future King miniseries, all I want is Pellinore's Questing Beast hunt in glorious live action

Re: Oh. My.

[skygiants]

What still gets me is 'Arthur is too good and pure to be interesting!'

because a.) that's a stupid premise and it annoys the heck out of me

and b.) look, if you want to go canon grim and gritty, just leave in the incest and the baby murder and you're PROBABLY OKAY