(no subject)

[skygiants]

I told tenillypo that, unfortunately, I had developed a lot of feelings about the Clone Wars, and she subsequently refused to let me leave her house without her favorite Clone Wars tie-in novels: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth and its sequel Clone Wars Gambit: Siege.

....and I completely devoured them, because is the person that I am now.

The books revolve around Anakin and Obi-Wan's Top Secret Mission to try and stop a devastating bioweapon from being developed on a tiny backwater planet by a kidnapped scientist.

(VILLAIN: If you fail to comply, we will kill your mother!
SCIENTIST: oh no
VILLAIN: and also your sister and brother-in-law --
SCIENTIST: oh noooo
VILLAIN: AND your brother and sister-in-law --
SCIENTIST: yikes!!
VILLAIN: plus four or five close personal friends --
SCIENTIST: DAMMIT, WHY AM I SUCH A SOCIABLE PERSON?)

In the first book, as you may have guessed from the title, they are stealthy! In the second book, they are hiding out on the planet in a village under siege! At all times, they are constantly engaged in debates about the greater good, acceptable risk, and ethical Jedi conduct under late capitalism in a state of galactic war!

(ANAKIN: I cannot BELIEVE you, OBI-WAN, A JEDI, would argue in favor of LYING to this POOR COERCED SCIENTIST --
OBI-WAN: Just because we've only rescued FIFTEEN of her SIXTEEN potential hostages doesn't mean it's okay for her to create a devastating bio-weapon, Anakin!
ANAKIN: She has the right to make an informed choice and also! THE JEDI CODE! SAYS NO LYING! TO ANYONE! EV-
ANAKIN:
ANAKIN:
ANAKIN:
OBI-WAN: ....what halted your hissy fit, my friend?
ANAKIN: oh I just remembered I'm lying about my marriage to literally everybody including you is all, NEVERMIND WE'RE FINE LET'S GO LIE TO THE COERCED SCIENTIST
OBI-WAN: what
ANAKIN: what)

In the B-plot, Ahsoka befriends Obi-Wan's ex-girlfriend, a brilliant and heroic Jedi with shimmering blue hair and golden eyes who is suffering from a tragic fatal illness!

AHSOKA: Master, what happened to you?
TRAGIC JEDI MASTER TARIA DAMSIN: I ate some very bad shellfish once and now, unfortunately, I will never recover.
AHSOKA: ...
TRAGIC JEDI MASTER TARIA DAMSIN: Sometimes them's is just the breaks, kid.

(As a sidenote, the books have pretty minimal clone stuff -- though most of what there is is EVERYONE FEELING BAD ABOUT THEM, which is how it ought to be -- but there are a few comments that give me a impression that Karen Miller ships Ahsoka/Rex. I'm not sure how I feel about this; on the one hand, Ahsoka is a baby, but on the other hand, technically Rex is probably the exact same age!)

The second book is less fun and more depressing than the first, as our guys spend most of it trapped, exhausted, and slowly being poisoned by local hazardous materials, but there's some good Senate politics stuff and also I'm legitimately interested in the Jedi ethical debates....

Other notable moments from the duology:

- the loving description of Palpatine standing there gushing publicly over Anakin while Obi-Wan and Yoda silently judge and Anakin dies a million deaths of embarrassment
- Anakin learning that Obi-Wan's friend? is someone?? that he used to bang???? and immediately going into another fit of shocked pearl-clutching, WHAT A HYPOCRITE, HOW VERY DARE
- five million iterations of Anakin bouncing off to do something heroic and impetuous while Obi-Wan shouts "ANAKIN, NO!"
- Obi-Wan: "You must admit now I was right to insist upon training Anakin, he's a credit to the Jedi." Yoda: "......your best you did!"

Comments

[misbegotten]

Best book reviews ever. Especially: DAMMIT, WHY AM I SUCH A SOCIABLE PERSON?

[musesfool]

Yeah, those books were something. I enjoyed them but I also did a lot of "really? REALLY?" while reading them.

Anakin learning that Obi-Wan's friend? is someone?? that he used to bang???? and immediately going into another fit of shocked pearl-clutching, WHAT A HYPOCRITE, HOW VERY DARE

While on the one hand, I could see this, on the other, Anakin is like, CAPTAIN of the GOOD SHIP OBITINE so I'm not sure how in character it is, you know?

I did enjoy Bail and Padme's friendship and politicking, as well.

[skygiants]

Yeah, I just checked dates and I think Satine had not quite been introduced in canon at the time these books were written, which explains the attitude disparity; on the other hand, one can retcon that if all this did indeed go down timeline-wise before Anakin met Satine, he had by that point gotten over his initial hissy fit at the notion that Obi-Wan had, at one point in his past, had sex!

I loved Bail and Padme politicking themselves up a civilian fleet, and how everyone's like "IS this ... a good idea long-term for civic stability? UH PROBABLY NOT BUT WE'RE COMMITTED NOW" -- the desperate short-term fixes with potential unfortunate long-term implications felt very plausible.

[skygiants]

When you're being held hostage and menaced by an evil empire, it is, alas, a real liability to have a large supportive family and broad social network!

[musesfool]

one can retcon that if all this did indeed go down timeline-wise before Anakin met Satine, he had by that point gotten over his initial hissy fit at the notion that Obi-Wan had, at one point in his past, had sex!

Ha! True. I guess Anakin's oblivious to the way Obi-Wan flirts with nearly every person they come across. Or his own terrible lack of game doesn't allow him to recognize Obi-Wan's mastery at it. *g*

[sovay]

OBI-WAN: Just because we've only rescued FIFTEEN of her SIXTEEN potential hostages doesn't mean it's okay for her to create a devastating bio-weapon, Anakin!

DO THEY RESCUE THE SIXTEENTH?

[starlady]

Hmm, I'll have to put these on my list of books to grab at Half Price.

How many fucking tragic ex-girlfriends does Obi-Wan have???? I mean I'm not surprised but if you count Siri Tachi from the Jedi Apprentice books he's now up to at least three, even if only one of them is canonical now.

[skygiants]

NOPE. The last one definitely dies! But he's just a childhood friend, lesser tier hostage honestly.

[sovay]

NOPE. The last one definitely dies! But he's just a childhood friend, lesser tier hostage honestly.

So is that y/n on the devastating bioweapon?

[skygiants]

I don't know how he collects them! A mysterious superpower. :O

...but I have to admit "condemned to a lingering death by eating a bad mollusc" is ... possibly my favorite Obi-Wan-adjacent tragic demise .......

[jothra]

Luke has even more tragic ex-girlfriends in later EU books. It very quickly stops being sad and starts being hilariously bad.

[lizbee]

Hypothesis: Ventress is in fact behind every single tragic death. She's going to murder her way into Obi-Wan's heart, dammit!

[starlady]

Luke's tragic ex-girlfriends were so hilaribad, especially since all of them were apparently just filler until he and Mara Jade got together? Which was the plan from 1991? Sheesh.

[ceitfianna]

I've seen these books but never read them, now to add them to my list as I do enjoy good Clone Wars' reads.

[schneefink]

the loving description of Palpatine standing there gushing publicly over Anakin while Obi-Wan and Yoda silently judge and Anakin dies a million deaths of embarrassment
Ahaha he deserves it.

I also don't know how I feel about Ahsoka/Rex, but I only like Ahsoka ships set in the future when she's older anyway and it's easier then.

[skygiants]

VENTRESS, chill! Who can compete with that beautiful sleek head? NOBODY.

[skygiants]

They are the first Clone Wars books I've ever read and I had no complaints! (Well, I mean, some complaints, but mostly entertainment.)

[skygiants]

IT WAS BOTH HILARIOUS AND SATISFYING.

I mean, I am always intrigued by enthusiastic idealistic commander/sweet human weapon subordinate but I think that's mostly the fault of Pumpkin Scissors....

[skygiants]

....how many tragic ex-girlfriends WERE there?

[skygiants]

It's a Y for long enough to wipe out a major city, but eventually they sort it all out!