Probably-Not-Last Will and Testament

[skygiants]

Tomorrow I'm flying home. If my plane should happen to crash on an island somewhere between the West Coast and the East, leaving me stranded with the First Evil Mist Monster and some out-of-context polar bears for an extended period of time, these are my wishes:

1. All my characters are to die tragically in a bus crash over a cliff into the Milliways lake.

2. Except for Mary Lennox, who is to jump fifteen years forward in her timeline and die in childbirth.

3. Plastic Jayne goes to Shati so he can get in on the Reaver-My Little Pony lovefest. As does all the seam-ripping that would formerly have been my responsibility.

4. My copy of The Fionavar Tapestry goes to Batya, Gen or Sweeney. They can arm-wrestle for it!

5. Any Kage Baker and Diana Wynne Jones books I own are to be disseminated across the continent, for spreading of the love.

6. My black stompy boots go to whichever of y'all has size 9.5 feet.

7. My unfinished MarySuetastic novels from high school (oh yes. They're out there) go to whichever one of you happens to have killed the most kittens today.

8. Any leftover money in my account is to be used to purchase all the world's copies of Return to the Secret Garden - it shouldn't be too hard - to see if, concentrated into one place, they really can make things burst into flames of horror.

9. . . . I think I've run out of interesting things I own. This is a little sad. If you wish for a portion of my estate, speak now or forever hold your peace!

Comments

[jezrana.livejournal.com]

Re: 2: Ahh, but will the baby have tentacles?

Re: 9: Can I have your hat? Or will that presumably be crashed on the island with you and the polar bears?

[skygiants]

Re: 2: Of course! All things are to be assumed to have tentacles unless otherwise stated. The bus, for example, will totally have tentacles.

Re: 9: My hat goes with me! *clings to it* How else will I impress the polar bears with my mysterious sparkly chic?

. . . but if it should happen to get blown off my head by a giant footstep mighty wind, then you may certainly have it. *gracious*

[winding_path]

8. Any leftover money in my account is to be used to purchase all the world's copies of Return to the Secret Garden - it shouldn't be too hard - to see if, concentrated into one place, they really can make things burst into flames of horror.

I just want you to know that Joan has acknowledged that your having to worry about this is entirely her fault. I would never have known about it to tell you if she hadn't told me.

*hugs* Safe trip and say hello to the polar bears.

P.S. I have size 9 1/2 feet . . .

[skygiants]

If it does turn out to be an astounding long-range weapon of combustibility, then we can name it after her! :D

*hugs* Thanks! I shall. (And the boots are yours, by right of first claim-comment. *makes it so*)

[winding_path]

Joan proposes the name the "Mistlethwaite Missle." Which does not name it after her, but which is a great deal of fun to say.

I just wonder, if you fly over an enemy city and drop hundreds of copies of Return to Secret Garden, well, doesn't that violate the Geneva convention?

*gloats over boot claimage*

[skygiants]

Missile-thwaite? Although that assumes that 'thwaite' is equivalent to 'thwap' or 'thwack'. Which I like assuming. Mostly because it, too, is fun to say.

*sage* I think only if the copies are written in a language that the enemy city understands.

[winding_path]

It makes perfect sense to me -- "thwaite" is clearly the delayed reaction version of "thwack." Because at first, you don't think you're in any danger.

And then you start reading and thwait -- burst into flames.

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

If you have size 9.5 shoes, what else do you put in them beside your feet?

[skygiants]

My . . . socks . . .? *giggles*

My feet are large! It is a thing. And possibly contributes to all the falling down.

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

But ...you're shorter than me.... never mind. :D

[sir-gareth.livejournal.com]

Please ignore the two comments above. I want the boots. They'll go ever so well with my stompy despotical plot governance-style. Or at least remind me of those days.

Fair?

[skygiants]

Sorry - first come, first serve. *shakes head sadly*

You can have my black stompy girlyshoes?

[the_croupier]

The "Reaver-My Little Pony...."?

Well, now I know what tonight's nightmares will be about. =)

[skygiants]

Jayne would get along with them beautifully, I feel!

[the_croupier]

*clicks to see icon*

*DED*

XD!

[skygiants]

*beams*

Is shati's!

[oneechan19.livejournal.com]

Somewhere between West coast and East coast would be Kansas!

*causes your plane to crash and holds you hostage here*

*then steals your boots*

[skygiants]

:O

You can't kidnap me and kidnap my boots. It would be unfair. *prim*

. . . have they got polar bears in Kansas?

[oneechan19.livejournal.com]

But if you're wearing them when you crash hear, then it makes perfectly logical sense.

And we do have polar bears! One is currently in my room at my parents house. He even has a diet coke for you. *beams*

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

Regarding #1: if Sophie goes, Howl's definitely going with her. But knowing that, he'll probably magically cause the bus not to crash and then we'll have all these stranded characters without players and Sophie will want to take care of them and Howl will grudgingly agree because he won't be able to think of anything else.

In other words, have a safe trip!

[skygiants]

*beams* Thanks! I will certainly take your concerns into consideration when passing over deserted island territory. *solemn*

. . . the mental image of Howl stuck dealing with the Prince living in his castle is, however, strangely attractive.

[shati.livejournal.com]

So are you stranded? If so, I will take good care of Jaynie.

Also, sometime can we try on each other's black stompyboots? I think they might fit us. Switched. Respectively. Thing.

[skygiants]

I am no more stranded! Which means I can take Jayne back, and out of your hands.

(Although I have to keep him away from my parents, who have decided to start collecting action figures. They currently have a trifecta of Albert Einstein, Edgar Allen Poe, and Dr. Evil in the front hallway cabinet. MOST TERRIFYING GROUPING EVER.)

And we should! Yours are probably cooler than mine, but.

[shati.livejournal.com]

(. . . I think Jayne would actually prefer the company of a Reaver and a My Little Pony.)