skygiants: Princess Tutu, facing darkness with a green light in the distance (eyebrows of inquiry)
[personal profile] skygiants
Monday of this week saw me exhausted, cranky, and full of sorrow at having to leave Denver and all the amazing people there. Fortunately I happened to have an unread Georgette Heyer novel out from the library waiting for just such a time!

The Convenient Marriage turned out to be one of my less-favorite Heyers, which does not mean it didn't have me cracking up on the subway several times. The first two chapters are actually pretty brilliant, and go like this:

BEAUTIFUL HEROINE: Oh woe is me! The hero has decided to wed, and I must marry him to help my family out of our financial straights! Now I can never be with my TRUE LOVE.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Don't worry! I have a PLAN.

HERO: Beautiful Heroine seems very pretty and I expect we'll be very happy.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: WHY HELLO THERE! I have come SECRETLY to your house to tell you that ACTUALLY I think it would be way more convenient for everyone if you marry me instead.
HERO: . . .
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: I mean, if you are man enough to deal with my enormous Zachary Quinto eyebrows. And the stammer.
HERO: . . . not that this isn't all kind of adorable, but aren't you like twelve?
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Seventeen! That is totally legit for a Georgian romance. You can have affairs if you want, too, I actually kind of don't care.
HERO: I . . . okay?

HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: So actually I'm the heroine of this novel and my beautiful sister will never appear again, is everyone okay with that?

Alas, after this excellent beginning, the plot pretty much revolves around the hero's GREATEST ENEMY trying to create a Big Misunderstanding between our awkwardly married pair while the heroine frets about her husband's old mistress and gets a gambling problem, which as plots go is kind of annoying. (This is not to say that a heavy-eyebrowed, stammering heroine with a gambling problem is not awesome! But that imagined heroine deserves a better plotline than this one, which is about showing her how headstrong she is and how awesome her kind of jerktastic husband is.)

On the other hand, there are also some plot developments of GLORY, such as:

- the time when the hero goes all Phantom of the Opera, shows up at a ball in a mask, DRAMATICALLY THREATENS THE VILLAIN'S LIFE, and . . . then pushes him into a pond. Way to be scary and hardcore, Lord Rule!

- "[Heroine] walked home," explained Sir Roland. "We were walking home, weren't we? Very well then. She walked home. Passed [Villain]'s house. Went in. Hit him on the head with the poker. Came out. Met us on the street. There you are. Plain as a pikestaff."

"Well, I don't know," said the Viscount. "Seems queer to me."


- WACKY HIGHWAYMAN HIJINKS

Also, I was totally rooting for the hero's long-suffering secretary, who was way too sane for this novel, to get together with the heroine's long-suffering middle sister, who was way too exasperated for this novel. I actually think the romance novel about them would have been twice as interesting as this one! And we could have kept all the hilarious side characters. And possibly even the wacky highwayman hijinks.

Speaking of romances that would be twice as interesting as the ones we're actually shown: last night I went to go see a production of As You Like It with [livejournal.com profile] obopolsk. It was a decent if lengthy production (with gorgeous music - I am actually really excited for that company's Tempest now, coming up next, since I suspect they will do a better job with eerie atmospheric than with straight-up comedy) but I came out of it with a desperate desire to know more about Celia and Oliver and their WACKY SURPRISE ROMANCE. Partly this is because that production's Oliver had amazing comic timing and ended up one of my cast favorites, but also, I mean, look, he is a murderous Unspecial Brother on the road to reform! She is the constantly facepalming villain's daughter who is possibly in love with her cousin! I WANT TO SEE HOW THIS HAPPENS.

Date: 2010-01-21 05:05 pm (UTC)
ext_161: girl surrounded by birds in flight. (rosalind)
From: [identity profile] nextian.livejournal.com
cough longstanding desire to write the genderswapped!Oliver/Celia lesbian romance featuring Celia and Olivia being the only ones who can actually successfully run anything while Rosalind and Orlando are busy gallivanting around the forest cough musical numbers featuring jazz hands cough

... I use my LJ edit comment feature possibly for the last time to say, man, I think I do more mumbling and coughing in your journal than anywhere else on the internet. BECCA, STOP MAKING ME REVEAL MY SHAME.
Edited Date: 2010-01-21 05:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-01-21 05:16 pm (UTC)
ext_161: girl surrounded by birds in flight. (rosalind)
From: [identity profile] nextian.livejournal.com
I sign up to write As You Like It every year in the vague hopes that I'll get someone who's all, "You know what I want? A half-finished musical with no orchestration or books, but a lot of playing around with the word 'fool'. That is what I want. Also, if Rosalind could be played by this one model off GettyImages." ([livejournal.com profile] love_for_fools, but there is like nothing there right now.)

Date: 2010-01-21 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
All FMA watched, excepting only ep 40. Which is up on Funimation. Which is working again.

How caught up on Leverage are you? o_O

Date: 2010-01-21 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
I was bored. I'm in the "have nothing to do" part of the term, followed by the "HOMG WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN AT ONCE?!?!" part, coming soon to a grad school near you.

I need a tiny panda. (Why is she always described as a cat? She does not look at all like a cat. She looks like a panda)

Also, Leverage is great. My love is only tempered by my intense sorrow that Amy Berg will no longer be part of the show after this season.

Date: 2010-01-21 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
I could not stop looking at Xiao Mei during the entirety of the Al and Gluttony sequence. Tiny scared panda! I wanted to snuggle her and tell her that all will be well!

(Based on your ladies of awesome post, I expected Martel to stick around longer.)

Date: 2010-01-21 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
I sort of thought it was a food pyramid and she'd realized that she wasn't actually at the top of the food chain, there was something bigger that could eat her.

Also, I was totally fine with Winry until the most recent 10-15 eps. Why so suddenly faily, Winry? What is up with that "Of course, I'll go with anyone who asks me!"?

Date: 2010-01-21 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
Too much damseling, confirmed. Hawkeye doesn't need to damsel, now does she? NOW DOES SHE? Follow the lady's example, Winry.

(P.S. So excited for Hawkeye and Mustang getting nekkid and him discovering her sekrit alchemy tattoo. I predict he uses the speshul fire alchemy to light candles all around the bedroom)

Date: 2010-01-21 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dramaturgca.livejournal.com
She knows she's a hostage, but she continues to work her ass off for the cause.

(It's either that or when she has sex with a fire alchemist, her tat glows red... And she's not Tricia Helfer.)

Date: 2010-01-22 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obopolsk.livejournal.com
Haha, Celia/Oliver would be more interesting!

I do think the woman who played Rosalind was quite good. I would be down for returning for Tempest, if you like! As would probably all of the people to whom I mentioned the show today. *g*

Date: 2010-01-22 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obopolsk.livejournal.com
Excellent :)

Date: 2010-01-22 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] areyoumymemmy.livejournal.com
I forgot how much I loved Roland, the Viscount and FAKE HIGHWAYMEN! God, I love fake highwaymen. I am going to put them into a book at some point, I swear.

However, Horry annoyed the crap out of me post-marriage, which sucked because I found her fairly awesome pre-marriage! She was all "it's cool, we can get married, I have the NOSE (and am also clearly an independent thinker and kind of quirky!)" and then post-marriage it was all "now i care only for gambling, gowns, and patches!"

Also her husband was kind of a jerk, as mentioned, and the Big Misunderstandings were super-extra-forced in this one, but... FAKE HIGHWAYMEN. HILARIOUS DRUNKEN SIDE CHARACTERS.

Not a total loss.

Date: 2010-01-25 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oneechan19.livejournal.com
I was skimming over my flist, and my brain saw Heroin instead of Heroine, and I went... what the heck is Becca writing about? TOO MUCH VIDEO GAME PLAYING MESSES WITH THE MIND.

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