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Jan. 21st, 2010 11:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Monday of this week saw me exhausted, cranky, and full of sorrow at having to leave Denver and all the amazing people there. Fortunately I happened to have an unread Georgette Heyer novel out from the library waiting for just such a time!
The Convenient Marriage turned out to be one of my less-favorite Heyers, which does not mean it didn't have me cracking up on the subway several times. The first two chapters are actually pretty brilliant, and go like this:
BEAUTIFUL HEROINE: Oh woe is me! The hero has decided to wed, and I must marry him to help my family out of our financial straights! Now I can never be with my TRUE LOVE.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Don't worry! I have a PLAN.
HERO: Beautiful Heroine seems very pretty and I expect we'll be very happy.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: WHY HELLO THERE! I have come SECRETLY to your house to tell you that ACTUALLY I think it would be way more convenient for everyone if you marry me instead.
HERO: . . .
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: I mean, if you are man enough to deal with my enormous Zachary Quinto eyebrows. And the stammer.
HERO: . . . not that this isn't all kind of adorable, but aren't you like twelve?
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Seventeen! That is totally legit for a Georgian romance. You can have affairs if you want, too, I actually kind of don't care.
HERO: I . . . okay?
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: So actually I'm the heroine of this novel and my beautiful sister will never appear again, is everyone okay with that?
Alas, after this excellent beginning, the plot pretty much revolves around the hero's GREATEST ENEMY trying to create a Big Misunderstanding between our awkwardly married pair while the heroine frets about her husband's old mistress and gets a gambling problem, which as plots go is kind of annoying. (This is not to say that a heavy-eyebrowed, stammering heroine with a gambling problem is not awesome! But that imagined heroine deserves a better plotline than this one, which is about showing her how headstrong she is and how awesome her kind of jerktastic husband is.)
On the other hand, there are also some plot developments of GLORY, such as:
- the time when the hero goes all Phantom of the Opera, shows up at a ball in a mask, DRAMATICALLY THREATENS THE VILLAIN'S LIFE, and . . . then pushes him into a pond. Way to be scary and hardcore, Lord Rule!
- "[Heroine] walked home," explained Sir Roland. "We were walking home, weren't we? Very well then. She walked home. Passed [Villain]'s house. Went in. Hit him on the head with the poker. Came out. Met us on the street. There you are. Plain as a pikestaff."
"Well, I don't know," said the Viscount. "Seems queer to me."
- WACKY HIGHWAYMAN HIJINKS
Also, I was totally rooting for the hero's long-suffering secretary, who was way too sane for this novel, to get together with the heroine's long-suffering middle sister, who was way too exasperated for this novel. I actually think the romance novel about them would have been twice as interesting as this one! And we could have kept all the hilarious side characters. And possibly even the wacky highwayman hijinks.
Speaking of romances that would be twice as interesting as the ones we're actually shown: last night I went to go see a production of As You Like It with
obopolsk. It was a decent if lengthy production (with gorgeous music - I am actually really excited for that company's Tempest now, coming up next, since I suspect they will do a better job with eerie atmospheric than with straight-up comedy) but I came out of it with a desperate desire to know more about Celia and Oliver and their WACKY SURPRISE ROMANCE. Partly this is because that production's Oliver had amazing comic timing and ended up one of my cast favorites, but also, I mean, look, he is a murderous Unspecial Brother on the road to reform! She is the constantly facepalming villain's daughter who is possibly in love with her cousin! I WANT TO SEE HOW THIS HAPPENS.
The Convenient Marriage turned out to be one of my less-favorite Heyers, which does not mean it didn't have me cracking up on the subway several times. The first two chapters are actually pretty brilliant, and go like this:
BEAUTIFUL HEROINE: Oh woe is me! The hero has decided to wed, and I must marry him to help my family out of our financial straights! Now I can never be with my TRUE LOVE.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Don't worry! I have a PLAN.
HERO: Beautiful Heroine seems very pretty and I expect we'll be very happy.
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: WHY HELLO THERE! I have come SECRETLY to your house to tell you that ACTUALLY I think it would be way more convenient for everyone if you marry me instead.
HERO: . . .
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: I mean, if you are man enough to deal with my enormous Zachary Quinto eyebrows. And the stammer.
HERO: . . . not that this isn't all kind of adorable, but aren't you like twelve?
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: Seventeen! That is totally legit for a Georgian romance. You can have affairs if you want, too, I actually kind of don't care.
HERO: I . . . okay?
HEROINE'S LITTLE SISTER: So actually I'm the heroine of this novel and my beautiful sister will never appear again, is everyone okay with that?
Alas, after this excellent beginning, the plot pretty much revolves around the hero's GREATEST ENEMY trying to create a Big Misunderstanding between our awkwardly married pair while the heroine frets about her husband's old mistress and gets a gambling problem, which as plots go is kind of annoying. (This is not to say that a heavy-eyebrowed, stammering heroine with a gambling problem is not awesome! But that imagined heroine deserves a better plotline than this one, which is about showing her how headstrong she is and how awesome her kind of jerktastic husband is.)
On the other hand, there are also some plot developments of GLORY, such as:
- the time when the hero goes all Phantom of the Opera, shows up at a ball in a mask, DRAMATICALLY THREATENS THE VILLAIN'S LIFE, and . . . then pushes him into a pond. Way to be scary and hardcore, Lord Rule!
- "[Heroine] walked home," explained Sir Roland. "We were walking home, weren't we? Very well then. She walked home. Passed [Villain]'s house. Went in. Hit him on the head with the poker. Came out. Met us on the street. There you are. Plain as a pikestaff."
"Well, I don't know," said the Viscount. "Seems queer to me."
- WACKY HIGHWAYMAN HIJINKS
Also, I was totally rooting for the hero's long-suffering secretary, who was way too sane for this novel, to get together with the heroine's long-suffering middle sister, who was way too exasperated for this novel. I actually think the romance novel about them would have been twice as interesting as this one! And we could have kept all the hilarious side characters. And possibly even the wacky highwayman hijinks.
Speaking of romances that would be twice as interesting as the ones we're actually shown: last night I went to go see a production of As You Like It with
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Date: 2010-01-21 05:05 pm (UTC)... I use my LJ edit comment feature possibly for the last time to say, man, I think I do more mumbling and coughing in your journal than anywhere else on the internet. BECCA, STOP MAKING ME REVEAL MY SHAME.
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Date: 2010-01-21 05:10 pm (UTC). . .
brb too busy GLORYING IN MENTAL IMAGE. In other words, degree to which this is relevant to my interests: OFF THE CHARTS. *_* *_* *_*
I am now considering requesting some form of Oliver/Celia for next Yuletide. I am just saying.
- hahaha I WOULD SAY SORRY BUT I SEE NO SHAME IN THIS. >:D >:D
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Date: 2010-01-21 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-21 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-21 07:53 pm (UTC)How caught up on Leverage are you? o_O
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Date: 2010-01-21 07:57 pm (UTC)I am currently not at all caught up on the new season Leverage, but that is going to be one of my weekend activities. :D
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:00 pm (UTC)I need a tiny panda. (Why is she always described as a cat? She does not look at all like a cat. She looks like a panda)
Also, Leverage is great. My love is only tempered by my intense sorrow that Amy Berg will no longer be part of the show after this season.
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:04 pm (UTC)I am excited for it!
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:07 pm (UTC)(Based on your ladies of awesome post, I expected Martel to stick around longer.)
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:14 pm (UTC)(I wish she had! D: But there is a reason I listed her as a minor character and put her at the bottom of the list. *rueful* Also I did not want to spoiler.)
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:18 pm (UTC)Also, I was totally fine with Winry until the most recent 10-15 eps. Why so suddenly faily, Winry? What is up with that "Of course, I'll go with anyone who asks me!"?
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:24 pm (UTC)I didn't mind that so much - after all, she doesn't know about the whole military conspiracy, and Ed and Al do work for the army - but I was getting really annoyed with all the damseling and We Can't Do Anything, They'll Hurt Winry! I am actually much happier with her again in the last two or three episodes, where Winry is finally allowed to put herself in danger knowing the stakes and take matters into her own hands. (And I thought her proposing the fake hostage situation was pretty awesome, and kind of hilarious - "people keep trying to use me a hostage? OKAY, if that is my superpower, I will be a hostage . . . FOR GREAT JUSTICE!")
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:27 pm (UTC)(P.S. So excited for Hawkeye and Mustang getting nekkid and him discovering her sekrit alchemy tattoo. I predict he uses the speshul fire alchemy to light candles all around the bedroom)
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:33 pm (UTC)(*cracks up* I don't know if Arakawa will ever go there, but I bet you anything that fanfic exists.)
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Date: 2010-01-21 08:35 pm (UTC)(It's either that or when she has sex with a fire alchemist, her tat glows red... And she's not Tricia Helfer.)
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Date: 2010-01-22 03:19 am (UTC)I do think the woman who played Rosalind was quite good. I would be down for returning for Tempest, if you like! As would probably all of the people to whom I mentioned the show today. *g*
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Date: 2010-01-22 03:23 am (UTC)I thought our Rosalind had an amazing voice. I kind of wish we'd gotten to hear her sing. I am definitely down for returning for Tempest! Let's plan for that - I think it starts in February and runs to March. :D
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Date: 2010-01-22 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-22 06:13 pm (UTC)However, Horry annoyed the crap out of me post-marriage, which sucked because I found her fairly awesome pre-marriage! She was all "it's cool, we can get married, I have the NOSE (and am also clearly an independent thinker and kind of quirky!)" and then post-marriage it was all "now i care only for gambling, gowns, and patches!"
Also her husband was kind of a jerk, as mentioned, and the Big Misunderstandings were super-extra-forced in this one, but... FAKE HIGHWAYMEN. HILARIOUS DRUNKEN SIDE CHARACTERS.
Not a total loss.
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Date: 2010-01-22 06:28 pm (UTC)Yeah, that is exactly how I felt! Horry was SO AWESOME and I don't know how she got so silly-independent rather than awesome-independent so fast. D: Though I won't lie, while I was mostly annoyed with post-marriage Horry, I kind of fell in love with her for a bit when she actually hit the bad guy over the head with a poker. <333
I will admit, while I thought the husband was a jerk, I did find it kind of hilarious how the villain kept being like "SURELY THIS WILL LEAD TO A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING" and the hero was like ". . . . nope. Actually I know exactly what's going on! :D No misunderstandings here!" And this happened like twelve times. "WHY ISN'T THERE A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING YET???" "Sorry, dude."
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Date: 2010-01-25 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-25 08:39 pm (UTC)