(no subject)

[skygiants]

Okay, last top five request from littledust: Top Five Villainnesses!


5. Kiha, Legend of the First King's Four Gods



I waffled about including Kiha because, you know, despite the fact that she is the reincarnation of a lady who runs around attempting to stab the Messiah and dangling babies off cliffs, Kiha herself doesn't really want to be evil! She spends a lot of time trying to join Team Good! She doesn't actually start trying to destroy the world until after every attempt to become a good guy crashes, burns, and dramatically blows up in her face. But then I remember the conversation that she has after she goes full-on evil with the likewise angsty, conflicted and villainous dude who's in love with her, which goes approximately like this:

KIHA: Ho Gae, I am probably going to ask you to do some kind of evil and murderous stuff to further my world-destroying plans.
HO GAE: Just tell me that you want me with you and I will do anything you ask for! Anything!
KIHA: Uh, okay, Ho Gae, before you decide to team up with me, I want you to be very clear on this: I want your soul; when I have it, I will use it; and when I am done, I will discard it. Any questions?
HO GAE: . . . works for me! :D :D And now makeouts?
KIHA: DENIED.

I could not decide whether to laugh forever, or to fall in love with Kiha, OR BOTH. Look, I mean, when the lady is evil she is the most awesomely honestly evil person ever. And I respect that in a villainness!

4. Wilhelmina Slater, Ugly Betty



Wili is the kind of villainness that you root for as much as you do the good guys, because she is just so fabulous. Also - okay, let's face it, she may be a remorseless scheming backstabber, but she is clearly five million times better at her job than anyone elsein the world of Ugly Betty. I would not trust Wilhelmina to babysit my kid, but I would absolutely trust her to run a magazine! Or save the world, if necessary. Actually I have just realized that the one Ugly Betty fic I want more than anything is fic where Wilhelmina has to organize our ragtag team of heroes to save the world! Before they all go right back to stabbing each other in the back.

(Also every time she gets a sad montage with Marc, my heart totally melts. SO ADORABLE.)

3. Yzma, The Emperor's New Groove



Competence, on the other hand, is . . . maybe not Yzma's strong point. BUT FABULOUSNESS IS. (Also, she is voiced by Eartha Kitt. Eartha Kitt. That says it all right there.) She has excellent taste in trapdoors, potions, headdresses and henchmen; she is ridiculously quotable (why do they even have that lever?); her inner self is . . . an evil kitten.



How could this face not make anyone's top 5 list! Come on now.


2. Maria Laker, Aunt Maria



Aunt Maria is an extremely bizarre and fascinating book by Diana Wynne Jones, and the titular Aunt is flat-out the most terrifying villain OR villainness I have ever encountered. (This image is from the ballet, which I have never seen. BUT SOMEDAY, OH MY GOD. IT IS THE WISH OF MY HEART.) Maria Laker is our protagonist's sweet little teddy-bearish great-aunt, who rules her town with a lace-gloved iron fist of passive-aggressiveness - of course she wouldn't ever dream of asking you to do this for her, she explains, with gentle politeness, and you find yourself doing exactly what she wants. Because she would just be so disappointed if you said no; you would just feel so guilty.

And if that fails, then she'll turn you into a wolf and organize a lot of men with guns, or seal you underground in a living coffin for twenty years and then bulldoze the mound, but it doesn't usually fail. And even after she's turned your brother into a wolf, or bulldozed your son, you'll still have to come have polite social chatter at her tea parties. She would be so disappointed if you didn't.

(Okay, it's possible that one of my reasons for finding her so terrifying is my own personal hatred for awkwardly polite social chatter. But I still maintain that she is objectively extremely scary as well!)


1. Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender



YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION. DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE.

Your turn! Favorite villainnesses? I know there are many awesome ones I did not have room to name!

Comments

[newredshoes]

Excellent taste in trapdoors = NEW USERNAME. FOR FREAKING SERIOUS.

Also, LADY M LADY M LADY M LADY M. I mean. Clearly.

[skygiants]

HAHAHAHA DO IT.

And I knew as soon as I posted this that you would say that. >:D AND YOU ARE RIGHT TO. Because man, speaking of stone-cold steel.

[newredshoes]

IN IT TO WIN IT. Er, wait, what?

Muahahaha. Inevitability strikes again! (I like your #1 and am shocked by your choice.)

[djcati.livejournal.com]

I THINK YZMA IS MY NUMBER ONE

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

Book version Witch of the Waste: I mean, she harvests human parts and puts them together to make what she deems a perfect whole puppet she can control forever. On top of that (as if it needs more), she's rude, imperious, and entirely unrepentant.

Annie Wilkes in Misery. Talk about fandom obsession! Stephen King actually has his share of good villainesses, but I think Annie takes the cake.

And simply for the Oh-No-You-Don't factor, animated Cruella De Vil. I mean... killing puppies to make a coat? That square jaw and bony fingers and half-black, half-white hair? That manic scream? Lucky thing she hires bumblers.

[skygiants]

(EVERYONE WILL BE SHOCKED. *laughing* But I mean, let's face it, outside of Lady M, Azula is pretty much the be-all and end-all of awesomely competent evil.)

[skygiants]

YZMA IS ALWAYS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE.

(And then she'll put that box . . . inside ANOTHER box.)

[skygiants]

Oh, I totally love the Witch of the Waste. (I also love Sophie's horrified, disbelieving face when she realizes Howl jilted the Witch of the Waste. A moment that will be forever hilarious!) Something I wish someone would write someday: fic about the young, ruthless, imperious, totally awesome Witch of the Waste, and her bargain with Miss Angorian. That's a story I want to see.

HAHAHA CRUELLA DE VIL. Oh, man, there is just something about Disney villainnesses. (Fun fact: while I was web-surfing to find an image of Yzma for this poll, I am pretty sure I stumbled over Cruella de Vil/Yzma fanart!)

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

....

I love Yzma.

[skygiants]

Best evil kitten EVER.

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

P.S. WRITE THAT STORY. I would so read it.

[skygiants]

I can't do dark and ruthless! Someone else will have to do it for me. :O

[themadpoker.livejournal.com]

By lady M do you mean Lady Macbeth? Because that is just who I was about to nominate. =D My not so secret favourite Shakespeare character, bar none.

[newredshoes]

High five, because yes. Of all time, yes.

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

Pfft. You might be surprised.

You can always request it for Yuletide...

[themadpoker.livejournal.com]

LADY MACBETH. I remember the days before I read Macbeth! Those were the days when Mercutio was my favourite Shakespeare character. AND THEN MY EYES WERE OPENED TO THE AWESOME OF SHAKESPEARE VILLAINS. (On that note my second favourite Shakespeare character is Edmund in King Lear! But he is a villain, not a villainness)

[skygiants]

I HAVE TOO MANY REQUESTS ALREADY STOP CONFUSING ME ;_______;

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

IT'S MY JOB!!!

[skygiants]

Mercutio is also pretty awesome! And as far as Shakespeare goes it is very hard to top Beatrice in my heart, because Beatrice. BUT LADY MACBETH WILL NEVER NOT BE FABULOUS. (I actually have never read Lear! Which is a great shame of mine. I also kind of love Iago despite the fact that he doesn't make much sense.)

[themadpoker.livejournal.com]

King Lear is about how unfair it is that bastards cannot inherit kingdoms and how it forces men to do things like scheme their way onto the throne and make epic speeches declaring nature their goddess. There's also some stuff going on with a king and a fool and his daughters or something, idk. That's the play I read anyways. ;)

And I have never read Much Ado About Nothing! I should get around to that one of these days.

[skygiants]

That does indeed sound like an interesting play! :P I have also seen Kate Beaton's comics . . .

And yessss Much Ado! So amazing. I also have a great love for the film version with Emma Thompson, although that may simply be imprinting from watching it at an early age.

[wakeupnew]

YES WILI!!! And also Azula and the others. But I love Wilhelmina so so so so much. *____*

Also, you have two number 2's and no number 1!

[skygiants]

She is so amazing. *____* Like, I would never want to work for or with her, but I love to admire her from afar! Like a distant, amazingly ruthless star.

- ahaha good catch! This is what comes of a lot of last-minute waffling about order. *sheepishly goes to fix*

[darkeyedwolf.livejournal.com]

CALLISTO. Best villainess ever. *________*

I could not decide whether to laugh forever, or to fall in love with Kiha, OR BOTH. Look, I mean, when the lady is evil she is the most awesomely honestly evil person ever. And I respect that in a villainness!

HAHAHAHAHA. You know, as much as I loved Kiha in her glorious evil-scheming world-destroying ways, I think my favorite villain from Legend had to be Kajin. She looked in the face of Jesus and said BRING IT THE FUCK ON. Awesome.

[skygiants]

I so, so need to go back and watch Xena ASAP. Ten years ago I was too young to realize how much I needed the kickass lesbians and hilariously terrible mythology and awesome villainess in my life!

HAHAHA, not gonna lie, I was totally waffling about whether to put Kajin or Kiha up there, because Kajin was such AWESOME CRAZY. (Also, had the best hair! Let it never be said that I am not shallow.) The only reason Kiha won is because I felt kind of sheepish listing a one-episode preincarnation . . . AND YET. How can you not love a woman who wakes up one morning and is like, "Hmm, should I fall in love with Jesus, or destroy Jesus in a fiery conflagration, or throw Jesus' baby off a cliff? You know, I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD HAVE TO CHOOSE."