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Nov. 10th, 2012 10:40 amThe thing about Mercedes Lackey's Four and Twenty Blackbirds is that it commits the cardinal sin for a Mercedes Lackey book: it's boring.
Four and Twenty Blackbirds is technically the fourth-fifth-last-whatever in Lackey's magic bards series, but the only thing any bards do in it is get brutally murdered, so I'm not sure if it counts.
Yes, this is a murder mystery! About a MAGICAL SERIAL KILLER! Lackey has clearly read a bunch of pop-psychology books about serial killers and she is very eager to have one-half the Protagonist Team, Tal Rufen the Good Cop, explain all about his serial-killer-related learnings at every opportunity. When a lady is stabbed by a THRUST from a LONG OBJECT, it could be symbolic of something! Who knew, right?
Anyway, Tal Rufen treks to the city of Kingsford and starts working for Lady Judge Priest Ardis -- who is the token Good Priest of the whole series -- to solve the crime! Meanwhile, Mercedes Lackey, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to give us lengthy viewpoint segments from the killer's Evil Accomplice, which means that about 60% of the book reads like this:
THE MURDERERS: Hello, reader! Let me tell you our names and how we commit the crimes!
THE GOOD GUYS: Gosh, I wonder if the murderer could be [murderer] -- no, that's unpossible. Oh, dear, is that two more dead bodies?
THE MURDERERS: la la la murder murder murder la la
THE GOOD GUYS: A clue? No, wait, a dead end. Well, we're still pretty sure it couldn't be [murderer], so at this point we're just plain stumped.
This makes for THRILLING AND SUSPENSEFUL READING, let me tell you. In case you are wondering what exactly our heroes are doing all this time besides scratching their heads and going "gosh, this is a toughie," they're having . . . a romance! Sort of.
And here also is the frustrating thing, because, man, the unspoken romance between an awesome lady priest and her competent and loyal subordinate that can never be acknowledged because of their respective mutual positions and responsibilities and the fact that their life missions are more important to them? Oh, come on, guys, that hits like ten of my narrative kinks! In a good book I would be ALL OVER that.
But this is not a good book, so about ten minutes after they meet, the protagonists each start wondering to themselves if maybe they should throw away everything they've both accomplished in their lives and run away to start up, like, a sexytimes-allowing detective agency or something . . . AND THEN. THE DENOUEMENT.
( Okay technically this is spoilery, if anybody cares )
The other important thing to note is that Ardis has a secretary called Kayne, and every time she appeared I misread her name as Kanye, and those mental images were probably the most entertaining thing about the book.
Four and Twenty Blackbirds is technically the fourth-fifth-last-whatever in Lackey's magic bards series, but the only thing any bards do in it is get brutally murdered, so I'm not sure if it counts.
Yes, this is a murder mystery! About a MAGICAL SERIAL KILLER! Lackey has clearly read a bunch of pop-psychology books about serial killers and she is very eager to have one-half the Protagonist Team, Tal Rufen the Good Cop, explain all about his serial-killer-related learnings at every opportunity. When a lady is stabbed by a THRUST from a LONG OBJECT, it could be symbolic of something! Who knew, right?
Anyway, Tal Rufen treks to the city of Kingsford and starts working for Lady Judge Priest Ardis -- who is the token Good Priest of the whole series -- to solve the crime! Meanwhile, Mercedes Lackey, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to give us lengthy viewpoint segments from the killer's Evil Accomplice, which means that about 60% of the book reads like this:
THE MURDERERS: Hello, reader! Let me tell you our names and how we commit the crimes!
THE GOOD GUYS: Gosh, I wonder if the murderer could be [murderer] -- no, that's unpossible. Oh, dear, is that two more dead bodies?
THE MURDERERS: la la la murder murder murder la la
THE GOOD GUYS: A clue? No, wait, a dead end. Well, we're still pretty sure it couldn't be [murderer], so at this point we're just plain stumped.
This makes for THRILLING AND SUSPENSEFUL READING, let me tell you. In case you are wondering what exactly our heroes are doing all this time besides scratching their heads and going "gosh, this is a toughie," they're having . . . a romance! Sort of.
And here also is the frustrating thing, because, man, the unspoken romance between an awesome lady priest and her competent and loyal subordinate that can never be acknowledged because of their respective mutual positions and responsibilities and the fact that their life missions are more important to them? Oh, come on, guys, that hits like ten of my narrative kinks! In a good book I would be ALL OVER that.
But this is not a good book, so about ten minutes after they meet, the protagonists each start wondering to themselves if maybe they should throw away everything they've both accomplished in their lives and run away to start up, like, a sexytimes-allowing detective agency or something . . . AND THEN. THE DENOUEMENT.
( Okay technically this is spoilery, if anybody cares )
The other important thing to note is that Ardis has a secretary called Kayne, and every time she appeared I misread her name as Kanye, and those mental images were probably the most entertaining thing about the book.
