(no subject)

Right before going to New York this past weekend, cinaed happened to toss me a link to Emily Dickinson: Paranormal Investigator, a one-hour show that JUST HAPPENED to be running during the, like, 36 hours I was going to be in the city.

I was supposed to be meeting nextian for coffee during that part of the afternoon, so of course I immediately emailed her to ask if in addition to having coffee she would like to see Emily Dickinson and Edgar Allen Poe fight supernatural crime in a tiny black-box theater, and the rest was destiny.

Here is what you ought to know about Emily Dickinson: Paranormal Investigator:

- Emily Dickinson is, of course, a brisk, competent, no-nonsense, Sherlock Holmesian detective who happens to investigate the paranormal, and also write poetry

 - the Holmesian adventure sense of the play is furthered by its framing as a write-up by her Watson
 - it is also unfortunately furthered by such unfortunate Victorian plot devices as "I disappeared into Chinatown, where I learned all about the Japanese kitsune!" oh ..... really ...............
 - it's worth noting that aside from dispelling ghosts by reciting her own poetry, Emily Dickinson also makes at least two Sailor Moon references that I caught
 - PROBABLY THERE WERE MORE, I'm not a Sailor Moon expert

- anyway Helen Hunt Jackson is Emily Dickinson's gay, gay Watson

- Helen Hunt Jackson's parents were, of course, tragically killed in a GHOST POSSESSION incident
- in a later scene, Helen Hunt Jackson and Henry David Thoreau chug beer out of red solo cups while Henry David Thor-bro advises her on the best way to confess her love to her boss, Emily Dickinson

- Edgar Allen Poe is Emily Dickinson's estranged mentor

- he is a dick
- he spends most of his time chugging whiskey from a flask and/or fighting ghosts with brass knuckles (Emily: "They're not even iron!" Edgar Allen Poe: "But they're so satisfying! >:D")
- in most of his scenes he has a tiny plastic raven attached to his shoulder

- the Fox Sisters make an appearance

- they are spirit rappers
- so of course they have a rap number
- this was the one thing that happened in the entire show that did not take me 100% by surprise and I felt very pleased with myself about it

- the villain is evil Walt Whitman

- evil talentless hack Walt Whitman who is scheming to steal Edgar Allen Poe and/or Emily Dickinson's RAW SUPERNATURAL TALENT
- (it is their raw supernatural talent, you see, that allows some people to write such good poetry before their link with the supernatural overwhelms them and they inevitably lose all grip on reality)
- (unless you're Henry David Thor-bro, who is able to overcome this propensity with hard work and good clean living, as well as a lot of beer)
- evil talentless hack Walt Whitman, for the record, is a breeches role
- evil talentless hack Walt Whitman spends most of the show lurking around the edges of the stage in a floofy poet shirt and leather pants, scheming with demons and laughing maniacally
- halfway through the show, after one particularly maniacal speech, nextian leaned over to me and hissed 'I KEEP FORGETTING SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY EVIL WALT WHITMAN???'
- I feel like that about sums it up
 

So. I mean. Is it worth ten dollars and an hour of your time? ABSOLUTELY it is, why would you EVEN ask me that, purchase your tickets IMMEDIATELY.