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Nov. 27th, 2017 02:49 pmI've been rereading Laurence Yep's Dragon of the Lost Sea books, because the last time I did so was in 2008 and I wanted to make sure I remembered what was what in case I was gifted fic about them for Yuletide this year.
Dragon of the Lost Sea stars Shimmer, a snotty exiled dragon princess in disguise as an old woman who is on a quest to Restore Her Clan's Homeland and Regain Her Honor. Thorn, a sad teen orphan, tags along for the ride. Featuring the first great series sitcom moment, when two party members both independently decide during the same fight scene that for tactical reasons they have to briefly pretend to the other one that they're dead, OOPS, WAIT, NOW WE'RE BOTH IN MOURNING AND NOBODY'S DRIVING THE MISSION.
In Dragon Steel, Shimmer finds out that just defeating one minor enemy is not actually enough to magically fix her clan's ongoing sociopolitical problems, effects multiple jailbreaks, and picks up Indigo, another, even snottier teen orphan.
By the time Dragon Cauldron begins, the adventuring party includes Shimmer, Thorn, Indigo, a tragic and morally ambiguous spoiler character, and the Monkey King. The Monkey King is also now the narrator, which means that half the scenes now read completely like a sitcom. Take, for example, the opening of the book:
THE GANG GETS DISGUISES
MONKEY: Shimmer you have a giant dragon nose and a fancy silk robe, this is not a good disguise
SHIMMER: As a dragon princess, I need my robe and my nose for majesty!
THORN: Yes, but if your little old lady disguise looked a little more impoverished she would have an air of mystery! Don’t you need a tragic backstory?
SHIMMER: OK, you win, we’re all tragic now, everyone rub mud on yourselves
INDIGO: Thorn is too handsome, give him a giant wart
SHIMMER: Monkey, you’re supposed to be old, please stop bouncing
MONKEY: My character is a RETIRED ACROBAT
The argument takes a full chapter and the disguises last a sum total of two pages.
...and then in the fourth book, Dragon War, everybody has to attempt to fix the fact that while single-mindedly trying to help Shimmer's clan they not only pissed off every powerful figure in the area but accidentally triggered a reasonable-sized apocalypse, OOPS.
Anyway the books are just as much a delight as I have always remembered, and after rereading it turns out that something I really desperately want is for someone to turn them into a Bioware RPG.
Obviously, you play as Exiled Dragon Princess Shimmer. The first book is the easy setup mission where you pick up your first companion; books two and especially three are the main stage of the game where you quest around, get a lot of party banter, and make choices that seem like a good idea at the time but will definitely screw up the world in the endgame; and then book four is the epic finale. Thorn, Indigo, Monkey, and [spoiler character] are your companions and they are all hypothetically romanceable. You'd have to write some more side adventures into the third book to make it work, but otherwise the whole thing paces itself out remarkably well.
( Some more speculation about this imaginary RPG game that nobody but me is asking for )
OKAY BIOWARE THERE YOU GO, IT'S ALL READY FOR YOU, YOU'RE WELCOME
Dragon of the Lost Sea stars Shimmer, a snotty exiled dragon princess in disguise as an old woman who is on a quest to Restore Her Clan's Homeland and Regain Her Honor. Thorn, a sad teen orphan, tags along for the ride. Featuring the first great series sitcom moment, when two party members both independently decide during the same fight scene that for tactical reasons they have to briefly pretend to the other one that they're dead, OOPS, WAIT, NOW WE'RE BOTH IN MOURNING AND NOBODY'S DRIVING THE MISSION.
In Dragon Steel, Shimmer finds out that just defeating one minor enemy is not actually enough to magically fix her clan's ongoing sociopolitical problems, effects multiple jailbreaks, and picks up Indigo, another, even snottier teen orphan.
By the time Dragon Cauldron begins, the adventuring party includes Shimmer, Thorn, Indigo, a tragic and morally ambiguous spoiler character, and the Monkey King. The Monkey King is also now the narrator, which means that half the scenes now read completely like a sitcom. Take, for example, the opening of the book:
THE GANG GETS DISGUISES
MONKEY: Shimmer you have a giant dragon nose and a fancy silk robe, this is not a good disguise
SHIMMER: As a dragon princess, I need my robe and my nose for majesty!
THORN: Yes, but if your little old lady disguise looked a little more impoverished she would have an air of mystery! Don’t you need a tragic backstory?
SHIMMER: OK, you win, we’re all tragic now, everyone rub mud on yourselves
INDIGO: Thorn is too handsome, give him a giant wart
SHIMMER: Monkey, you’re supposed to be old, please stop bouncing
MONKEY: My character is a RETIRED ACROBAT
The argument takes a full chapter and the disguises last a sum total of two pages.
...and then in the fourth book, Dragon War, everybody has to attempt to fix the fact that while single-mindedly trying to help Shimmer's clan they not only pissed off every powerful figure in the area but accidentally triggered a reasonable-sized apocalypse, OOPS.
Anyway the books are just as much a delight as I have always remembered, and after rereading it turns out that something I really desperately want is for someone to turn them into a Bioware RPG.
Obviously, you play as Exiled Dragon Princess Shimmer. The first book is the easy setup mission where you pick up your first companion; books two and especially three are the main stage of the game where you quest around, get a lot of party banter, and make choices that seem like a good idea at the time but will definitely screw up the world in the endgame; and then book four is the epic finale. Thorn, Indigo, Monkey, and [spoiler character] are your companions and they are all hypothetically romanceable. You'd have to write some more side adventures into the third book to make it work, but otherwise the whole thing paces itself out remarkably well.
( Some more speculation about this imaginary RPG game that nobody but me is asking for )
OKAY BIOWARE THERE YOU GO, IT'S ALL READY FOR YOU, YOU'RE WELCOME
