(no subject)

[skygiants]

December requested posts thing the second: five most cracktastic plot twists I have ever encountered, for rachelmanija. HOO BOY.

Okay, first of all, I am in no way guaranteeing that these are the actually the five most cracktastic plot twists I have ever encountered, because I'm sure as soon as this goes up five people will remind me of five more EVEN MORE CRACKTASTIC plot twists, to which I will say "I HAD COMPLETELY BLOCKED THAT OUT OF MY HEAD AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REMINDING ME." This is just five reasonably cracktastic plot twists that I can come up with off the top of my head.

1. Since rymenhild has asked me to talk about the Company books later on this month, I may as well set the stage here for things to come: I am pretty sure that having your cyborg heroine's ex-boyfriend cunningly engineer for her to give birth to her other two ex-boyfriends so that he can retire with cyborg heroine and infant ex-boyfriends to a small private island and exercise ideals of Victorian child-rearing was ALREADY WEIRD ENOUGH. Was it then necessary for them all to have an orgy and become the Holy Trinity/Madonna? WAS IT?

2. I think Sheri Tepper only gets to be on here once and I honestly can't decide which was weirder, the time that evil undead university professors took the conjoined twins and separated them into screaming body parts in boxes before they turned into, respectively, an bird-person and an otter-person or the time that humanity's only hope was to join the civilization of sentient squids under the ocean so they could give birth to mer-babies. But honorable mentions certainly go to the time the magical Native American heroine turned out to be a sentient lizard-person who magically removed the sex drive from the human race (Gibbons' Decline and Fall) and the time Beauty from Beauty and the Beast was kidnapped by documentary filmmakers and taken to a dystopian future before learning that all horror writers automatically went straight to hell (Beauty).

3. Did anybody else ever read a set of kid's books about Finn mac Cool? One of them was called The Wizard Children of Finn and it was a fairly normal book in which a couple of kids go back in time and have adventures with Finn mac Cool and the preteen girl kind of crushes on him before discovering that he is her ancestor. Mildly awkward! Then there was a sequel whose name I cannot remember, in which the kids travel back in time again, get turned into birds, and discover that their mother also traveled in time, got turned into a deer, hooked up with Finn (who is also her ancestor) (after turning back from being a deer), and gave birth . . . to two babies . . . which Finn named after that cute girl he met one time and her younger brother . . . before mother and babies all fled forward into the future to allow for the cycle to repeat. SUCH AN INCREASE IN AWKWARD IN SUCH A SHORT SPAN OF TIME.

4. A lot of really weird things happened in Mawaru Penguindrum, but I can't talk about the weirdest and most horrifying because WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FROG. I will instead talk about the second-weirdest, which is the time it turns out in the grand finale that the vaguely evil penguin hat that turns the heroine into a dominatrix penguin magical girl IS IN FACT the soul of her best friend's dead magical older sister. No, I'm lying, that isn't even anywhere near the weirdest plot twist.

5. I know, I know, we are all tired of hearing about the pig-dragon boyfriend of doom. AND YET I CAN'T NOT. To make up for it, please have some more cracktastic plot twists courtesy of a request from the last time I did a meme of this nature three years ago.

If anybody else feels inclined to try and top these examples from the top of my head, PLEASE DO.

Comments

[the_rck]

I think I read The Wizard Children of Finn. It sounds very familiar. I had completely forgotten about it. I'm not sure I registered, at the time, how bizarre the plot twist was. Maybe I just blotted it out of my memory. There's a lot of stuff I've read and forgotten.

[rachelmanija]

I agree with your # 1. I honestly think that is the most bizarre plot twist I have ever heard of. Especially because I read the first four books or so, which do not in the slightest foreshadow anything of that nature.

I also agree with Sheri S. Tepper: the complete works (but especially the egg-laying heroine and the deus ex squidpeople) and raise you the entirety of Angel Sanctuary. I had completely forgotten about Katan getting transformed into a writhing mass of bloodsucking tentacles and being kept in a bathtub until I clicked on the link. Possibly because I'd been distracted by the army of flying zombie angel embryos sent to destroy Earth.

I am still fond of the Masked Ball of Evil Small-Press Poets, in a book which had hitherto been a realistic contemporary problem novel. It's in the very special category of "works which seem normal until they take a sudden and unexpected detour into WTFlandia."

I also have very annoyed memories of the otherwise undistinguished gangster movie with a totally gratuitous 20-minute softcore porn sequence. Out of all the movies at the film festival, that had to be the one I saw with my father!

[brownbetty]

I'm not sure it really rates, but what's the OSC one where the heroine and her side-kick decapitated head go climb a mountain with a pair of dwarves, to conquer the ice-worm? Aaaaaaand by "conquer" we mean "be mind-controlled into rapey sex with"?

[rachelmanija]

Wyrms. I actually like that book. It's bizarre, but has a big gosh wow factor. In addition to mind-control tentacle rape.

[aberration]

I didn't have my true reaction to Mohinderfly until I saw that Parks and Rec episode where Ron Swanson says "Son, people can see you!"

Because that's still it.

[brownbetty]

Well, admittedly, part of it's crackiness is that Marvel made a comic of it. I've never read the comic, so I don't know how they dealt with the tentacal-rape aspect, but you'd think they'd have given it a pass.

[lacewood]

So... I guess now I feel a little relieved that the only Kage Baker I've actually read was the only mildly cracktastic fantasy one, because I was unable to find the Company books in Singapore. Mixed blessings!

Also w-wow Sheri Tepper. I'M DEEPLY IMPRESSED.

[bookblather]

Oh my GOD. From ALL OF THEM. I mean, I've read the second two Sheri Tepper books and I didn't think that she could get any weirder AND THEN. WHAT THE HELL.

[thistleingrey]

3. The "fairly normal" Finn book may well be the one I stumbled upon at a different local public library from my then-usual one, because the usual one had been closed for fire damage, and then I could never find the book again despite going to the approximate shelf location five and ten years later. And hot damn, I can request it to my current local library by inter-library loan. MUST TRACK DOWN. 1981-82 would be exactly right; I read whatever lost thing it was during the summer of 1984 or '85.

There's something about your space here that encourages one to BREAK OUT INTO CAPSLOCK. :)

[jinian]

I am REALLY glad you're talking about the Company books soon, then, because otherwise I would be tempted to try again to read them, and I already know that it would be impossible for me.

I would point out The Pollinators of Eden except that twists are supposed to be a surprise, and nothing of the crack present therein fails to be foreshadowed in all its mad glory. Nothing else on my shelves even comes close to these.

[sgac]

What about the Barbara Hambly duology where the first book is a perfectly cromulent fantasy world and the second goes through a portal into Nazi Germany?

[skygiants]

I definitely didn't register it at the time either! I freaking loved those books, I reread them many times. In retrospect, though....

[skygiants]

THEY DO NOT. I spent so many years trying to convince myself it wasn't that bad and it sort of made sense. IT IS THAT BAD, AND IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

It has been so long since I read Angel Sanctuary the only really weird part I can now directly remember is the flying whale. There is so much that's weirder than the flying whale! But I've forgotten it all!

. . . which book had the Masked Ball of Evil Small-Press Poets?!

[skygiants]

WOW I HAVEN'T READ THAT ONE, but I almost put in an honorable mention here for the later Ender's Game books (the ones with the accidental mind-clones and the planet of Orientalist OCD) just because, if we've got to have an Ender's Game movie, there is an awful evil part of me that would dearly love to see the trainwreck that would happen if Hollywood attempted to film them.

[skygiants]

A MORE APPROPRIATE REACTION THERE NEVER WAS.

Wow, I still have this icon. I still have Heroes icons. Why is this.

[skygiants]

It is such a constant struggle, because in spite of everything that's terrible I still love the Company books SO MUCH and I constantly have to combat the urge to lie to people in order to get them to read the ones that are good. "Y-yes! It's a complete series! And the ending . . . isn't that bad . . ."

[skygiants]

The number one rule of Sheri Tepper Club is SHE CAN ALWAYS GET WEIRDER.

[skygiants]

YES TRACK IT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT FOR ME! I may see if I can do the same now that I have remembered about it.

And I take that as a GREAT COMPLIMENT. >:D Enthusiastic capslock for everybody!

[skygiants]

Every day it's a constant fight not to decide "hey, what the heck, I'll reread the Company books, it can't be that distressing, right?" EVERY DAY. My life is fll of strange choices.

To be fair, I think by this point nothing bizarre that's Sheri Tepper-related or Ikuhara-related really counts as an actually surprise plot twist either...

[skygiants]

...which Barbara Hambly duology is that?!

[sgac]

The Rainbow Abyss and Magician of the Night. Perfectly readable, entertaining books, but... yeah.

The first one is discussed on Tor here: http://www.tor.com/blogs/2011/09/persecuted-wizards-barbara-hamblys-the-rainbow-abyss

[damselfish]

I'm glad Tepper exists, if only to remind myself that no matter how weird I get, I will never be that weird and almost certainly never that pompous.

Also Finn mac Cool doesn't seem that weird, but I have recently read parts of the Mabigoni and have been going through historical Irish fantasy, and that's all about people being turned into stuff and hooking up and having kids with people they shouldn't (I mean, at least the mother didn't have the kids AS a deer and Finn mac Cool wasn't her brother).

[genarti]

I HAVE, AND I CONCUR WITH ALL OF THIS. For bonus points, her decapitated head sidekick is actually her dad! (I think. Unless it's a different decapitated head in a jar? Upon reflection it might be. He definitely gets to be a reluctant post-mortem sidekick for a while. Their relationship deteriorates a lot after he becomes a whiny decapitated head in a jar.)

Also the dwarves are actually, like, super-intelligent monkey-goblins? Named Rack and Ruin, because.

(Although I will say -- and it's really sad that this even needs to be said -- the mind-control rapey tentacle-sex is, in fact, presented as rapey and awful, not as ~edgy~.)

[troisroyaumes]

Okay, I only read the first two or three Company books, and I thought they were odd enough, but then I hit Was it then necessary for them all to have an orgy and become the Holy Trinity/Madonna? Now I'm wondering whether it's a good thing or bad thing that I never dug up the rest of the series...

[troisroyaumes]

Oh yes, I remember reading this! Is it bad to admit that I actually liked it? It's certainly miles more entertaining than anything he wrote after 2000.

[genarti]

Now I kind of want to reread that and see how good it is! (As well as cracktastic, but I definitely remember that part.) I remember it being equal parts fascinating and OH GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED WHAT, but I was also something like sixteen or seventeen when I read it, and a lot of it blew my little teenaged mind.

[thistleingrey]

:D Both books have been requested from two counties away. We'll see whether the holding institution thinks they're in shape to send--no other copies amongst all the consortium's member libraries....

[oyceter]

OMG the flying whale! The best part is that it's not even very related to the plot, it's just... flying whale!

And I remember rereading it once to discover that I had completely forgotten Setsuna losing an eye and having wings burst out that were covered in eyes, and then of course the zombie angel eyeball invasion and... yeah.

[oyceter]

And the heroine has been trained from birth to be the ultimate spy/ambassador/assassin and nearly slits her own throat in chapter one to prove to the ruler that she is loyal while also being skilled enough to do it while not actually putting her life in danger!

... I read this in middle/high school and of course thought she was the BEST THING EVER.

(I am annoyed about normal-guy-turned-awesome in the book though.)

[genarti]

Was there a normal-guy-turned-awesome? I have zero memory of him! Shows you what stuck in MY memory.

I had also forgotten the near-throat-slitting, although now that you mention it I do recall. I had, however, remembered the spy/ambassador/assassin thing, and how she coolly threatened her father's disembodied head with phantom sensations like eternal hunger and need to pee to make him give her useful information, and how they'd have conversations in like six languages simultaneously so no one could overhear. (Of course the linguistic badassery stuck with me.) And how she was TRAINED to sleep silently, endure privation stoically, know all customs of everyone ever, etc. Oh man, this book.

[skygiants]

I don't think I've ever heard of either of them! Barbara Hambly appears to sprout new books, like mushrooms, whenever I'm not looking.

[skygiants]

Tepper's existence is a strange reassurance to us ALL.

And yeah, in the grand scheme of things, I guess it's not that weird, especially not compared with any of the rest of the stuff on this list. It just seemed so jarring (in retrospect) after the very standard "Kids Have Historical Adventures!" feel of the first book to suddenly go to the ANIMAL TRANSFORMATIONS AND NEAR INCEST land . . .

[skygiants]

MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ARE SO CONFLICTED. I desperately want more people to read them and talk about them, but it's a bit like when my roommate told me "here, eat this!" and handed me candy corn-flavored M&Ms. Which I did, and said, "Well, they're boring!" Like, the end of the series is super weird, there is a lot to complain about, but at least . . . they're not boring . . .?

[skygiants]

My life is suddenly filled with images of THE ORSON SCOTT ROADS NOT TAKEN in my life. Were not all the Ender's Game books enough, I ask my younger self? And my younger self answers: YES THEY WERE. Oh, God, they were. DON'T LOOK BACK.

[skygiants]

Hah, I think that's why I remember it, because after reading the series I stalked so many discussions on LJ (including yours, probably) full of people going "AND ALSO, THE WHALE!"

I should do a reread one of these days. shati and I realized a year or two ago that neither of us could remember what happened at the end, so we looked up like the last ten pages to see if we could make sense of it . . . we could not.

[qian]

I want to know about the frog >:(

[sovay]

I want to know about the frog

Ditto! Share the mind-scarring horror!

[rachelmanija]

I forgot about all of that except the zombie eyeball invasion!

Clearly it's time for a re-read.

[rachelmanija]

Normal dude was so boring compared to literally every other character. To be fair, the other characters were Spy/Ambassador/Assassin Girl, Decapitated Dad In Jar, Ruthless and Conflicted Mentor Spy/Ambassador/Assassin, Gentle Healer Goblin Boy, Cranky Hunter Goblin Girl, Genius Science Dwarf Whose Brain is Her House, Tough Riverboat Captain, and Evil Yet Semi-Tragic Tentacle Monster.

[rachelmanija]

Those are older. They're kind of inoffensive under the circumstances, but the thing is, the circumstances are "likable, entertaining swords and sorcery with some serious points to make about persecuting minorities takes a left turn in NAZIS." And Nazis taken seriously, not Indiana Jones Nazis. I could see what she was trying to do, but the books collapsed under the weight of NAZIS.

The characters are likable (except for the Nazis and Nazi-like witch-hunters, obvs) but I wish she'd kept it all in the fantasy world and left out the Nazis.

[rachelmanija]

That's what I thought! The Mabinogion has incestuous gay bestiality gender swap mpreg. Three times!

[shati]

The frog is ... better not to speak of. Your life will be happier not knowing. So much happier. @_@

[skygiants]

Let me just put it this way: it was bad enough that the ingredients of the love potion required that a giant frog spawn on the naked back of an unwilling teenaged boy. THIS WAS BAD ENOUGH. Then the love potion was administered, and it got even more horrifying.

[rymenhild]

And babies falling out of ladies who step over logs! And the most idficcy life-trading wife-trading premodern bodyswaps!

[thistleingrey]

I suspect that this is not really what you wanted--they don't feel illogical or cracky to me--but hey, it's a post!