(no subject)
Apr. 11th, 2014 01:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsSome questions raised by Captain America 2...
Q: Where were Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers during the whole of this movie?
A: Obviously, he was AT ROBERT REDFORD'S NIECE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. This was actually a brilliantly clever ploy on Robert Redford's part: get Fury to send all the Avengers to his niece's party, shut down cell service in a ten-mile radius of the celebrations, and then allow them to bask in blissful ignorance (until his niece is traumatized by having half the Avengers shot in front of her eyes, I guess.)
Q: If SHIELD is such a politically sensitive and secretive organization, why are all the walls MADE OF GLASS?
A: This is why Fury is the only effective person in SHIELD -- he is the only one with an office that has a de-glassification option!
Q: How can Natasha have done morally ambiguous things for the KGB when she was born in 1984, and the KGB was dismantled in 1991? Was she a REALLY MORALLY AMBIGUOUS seven-year-old?
A: a.) Well, yes, maybe; b.) or all of that was a lie; but c.) even if we accept it all at face value, then may I remind you all that the Republic of South Ossetia STILL has a KGB. Nobody said it was the Russian KGB that she worked for! South Ossetia is where it's at.
Q: If Abed is working for SHIELD, then which members of the Community cast were on the Hydra kill-list?
A: Troy, obviously. His magical air conditioning repair skills are a SERIOUS THREAT to Hydra. Britta is not, and is more angry that she isn't than she has ever been about anything in her life.
Q: Why was this movie called 'The Winter Soldier' when the actual Winter Soldier was, like, a C-plot at best?
A: Because calling it 'Captain America 2: Heil Hydra' would have kind of given the game away ...? Captain America 2: DC IS ON THIS MAP! .... Captain America 2: IS ON THIS MAP!
Q: Where were Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers during the whole of this movie?
A: Obviously, he was AT ROBERT REDFORD'S NIECE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. This was actually a brilliantly clever ploy on Robert Redford's part: get Fury to send all the Avengers to his niece's party, shut down cell service in a ten-mile radius of the celebrations, and then allow them to bask in blissful ignorance (until his niece is traumatized by having half the Avengers shot in front of her eyes, I guess.)
Q: If SHIELD is such a politically sensitive and secretive organization, why are all the walls MADE OF GLASS?
A: This is why Fury is the only effective person in SHIELD -- he is the only one with an office that has a de-glassification option!
Q: How can Natasha have done morally ambiguous things for the KGB when she was born in 1984, and the KGB was dismantled in 1991? Was she a REALLY MORALLY AMBIGUOUS seven-year-old?
A: a.) Well, yes, maybe; b.) or all of that was a lie; but c.) even if we accept it all at face value, then may I remind you all that the Republic of South Ossetia STILL has a KGB. Nobody said it was the Russian KGB that she worked for! South Ossetia is where it's at.
Q: If Abed is working for SHIELD, then which members of the Community cast were on the Hydra kill-list?
A: Troy, obviously. His magical air conditioning repair skills are a SERIOUS THREAT to Hydra. Britta is not, and is more angry that she isn't than she has ever been about anything in her life.
Q: Why was this movie called 'The Winter Soldier' when the actual Winter Soldier was, like, a C-plot at best?
A: Because calling it 'Captain America 2: Heil Hydra' would have kind of given the game away ...? Captain America 2: DC IS ON THIS MAP! .... Captain America 2: IS ON THIS MAP!
