(no subject)

[skygiants]

I had to do a separate post for Jennifer Crusie's Agnes and the Hitman, because a.) it was not included in the omnibus and b.) it's not just a Jennifer Crusie book, it was co-written with military suspense author Bob Mayer, and c.) it is SLAPSTICK MURDER BANANAS. Think, like, The Sopranos meets Bringing Up Baby.

Our Heroine in Agnes and the Hitman is a food columnist who writes under the name Cranky Agnes, who is about to get married to a mediocre dude in order to land an amazing house and a great line of best-selling co-written cookbooks.

Suddenly: a guy turns up and attempts to kidnap her dog!

In response, Agnes accidentally murders him by hitting him on the head with a frying pan!

Unfortunately, Agnes has qualms about calling the police, as this not the first time that Agnes has hit a guy in the head with a frying pan.

(THERE IS SO MUCH MURDER IN THIS BOOK.)

Anyway. Instead of the cops, Agnes calls in her lovable gangster faux-uncle, who subsequently calls in his actual nephew, a stoic hit man. Shane the hit man is supposed to watch out for Agnes until they figure out why criminals keep turning up at her house and attempting to murder her and/or kidnap her dog.

MEANWHILE, Agnes is mostly just annoyed because all these criminals, gang members, hit men, and murder are getting in the way of her real goals: catering a perfect wedding for the daughter of her best friend, mob princess Lisa Livia!

Further plot points include catering mishaps, a million-dollar missing mob necklace, Lisa Livia's mob-widow mother's ongoing attempts to sabotage the wedding, a mysterious murder bunker/basement in which Lisa Livia's mob-widow mother may or may not have murdered Lisa Livia's mobster father, Agnes' accidental adoption of a confused teenage gangster who initially turned up as part of the chain of would-be-murderers in her house, the health inspector's legitimate concerns about all this catering being done in a house which has so very recently had so much murder in it, and the surprise arrival of a lonely flamingo in a box.

Oh, and to add to the chaos, Shane the stoic hit man and his partner (a slightly older, more philosophical hit man who's along for the ride) are engaged in an ongoing battle with their OWN murder assignment. However, Shane also helps Agnes get a new air conditioner and thoughtfully runs various catering-related errands without being asked, so everyone is agreed that he's a good egg really. And, to be honest, he does come off as one of the most endearing Jennifer Crusie romantic prospects I've encountered thus far!

Comments

[misbegotten]

From this, I'm either going to adore the book or hate it...

[allchildren]

....say, have you seen Grosse Pointe Blank?

[lemon_badgeress]

. . . what.

[sovay]

the health inspector's legitimate concerns about all this catering being done in a house which has so very recently had so much murder in it

I do feel for the health inspector.

hane the stoic hit man and his partner (a slightly older, more philosophical hit man who's along for the ride)

(Hooray.)

[bookblather]

I FORGOT THE HEALTH INSPECTOR

Oh man, that poor health inspector. I mean, I know he was being bribed, but "so much murder has been done in this kitchen" plus whatever the hell Shane and Carpenter put in that vault-opening nonsense is a LEGIT CONCERN.

[lilysea]

the health inspector's legitimate concerns about all this catering being done in a house which has so very recently had so much murder in it

Ok, this made me laugh out loud. :D

[brownbetty]

I remember this book fondly for a weird digression into fondant, which has perhaps assumed greater significance in my memory because it was where I learned the truth about my nemesis. (Fondant is my nemesis.)

[thewickedlady]

*add to TO READ pile*

[dhampyresa]

he health inspector's legitimate concerns about all this catering being done in a house which has so very recently had so much murder in it

Poor dude.

[skygiants]

I thought it was very endearingly murder wacky but I understand not everyone will agree with that assessment!

[skygiants]

I KNEW THERE WAS A WACKY MURDER COMEDY DIRECTLY COMPARABLE THING I WAS FORGETTING

(...uh yes, I have, but it was many years ago and I don't remember most of it)

[skygiants]

Murder and cooking: two great tastes that go great together!

[skygiants]

Admittedly, he's there because someone bribed him, but when he actually does get there to find a.) an updated body count and b.) the active chemicals being used to break into the murder basement down the hall, he's like "HOLY CRAP THESE ARE SOME ISSUES."

[skygiants]

Right??? I hope that man eventually got a raise for operating in a town where cooking and murder SO OFTEN GO SO CLOSELY TOGETHER.

[skygiants]

I think we all feel for that poor man.

[skygiants]

FONDANT IS A WORTHY NEMESIS and this book does give it its due (probably much more so than any of the actual murder nemeses.)

[skygiants]

omg Heather I can't believe I haven't recced it to you already, it's TWELVE HUNDRED PERCENT up your alley!

[skygiants]

SOMEBODY HAS TO MAINTAIN STANDARDS

[lemon_badgeress]

no honestly I don't actually have a problem until the flamingo shows up. then I'm a little confused.

[ekaterinn]

Hi from a fannish person looking for escapism from depressing U.S. politics! ^^;;;

I had to comment on this, because Agnes and the Hitman is one of my absolutely favourite comfort reads - the poor flamingo! Agnes' anger issues! Shane's long-suffering partner! So I'm v. glad you enjoyed it. ^_^

[skygiants]

Hello! :D I am always happy to offer escapism, as that is exactly why I have been reading so much Crusie lately. (THAT POOR FLAMINGO. .... those poor flamingos? There were two flamingos in the end, right?)

[ekaterinn]

There was at least two - maybe more! Flamingos should always get happy endings, in my opinion.

(Now I have to re-read all the Crusie - I can't believe I forgot about Charlie All Night!)

[metaphortunate]

I HAVE GOT TO READ THIS BOOK THANK YOU.

[skygiants]

YOU ARE VERY WELCOME :D

[kate_nepveu]

And he's, like, the only POC in a Crusie book ever! (ISTR that I was a little twitchy about his portrayal when I originally read, but would have to reread to see how that held up.)