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Sep. 26th, 2018 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsUnfortunately, I seem to have hit the point in my Scarlet Pimpernel reads where I am turning pages just waiting for Chauvelin to show up and be Hilariously Extra.
...though to be fair to myself, everything that happens in Eldorado before Chauvelin turns up is just Armand St. Just moping around making poor life choices while Baroness Orczy tells us that he can't help it, it's all part of his fiery Latin temperament.
In the first half of the book, Armand falls inconveniently in love while Percy is in the middle of planning his Perfect Dauphin Heist; Percy hits Armand with his very best "who cares about your lonely soul," but Armand absolutely refuses to put the mission above his girlfriend! ever! at any time!
ARMAND: You know that feeling when you just fall in love so hard that rescuing people doesn't seem all that important anymore?
PERCY: .... no?
Inevitably, Armand's girlfriend gets imprisoned.
PERCY: Just calm down and stay out of the way, I have a plan!
ARMAND: I have decided to ignore your plan and pursue my vastly superior plan!
PERCY: .... which is ....
ARMAND: To run up to the gates of the Bastille shouting VIVE LE ROI as loud as I can until they let me in to perish with my beloved! VIVE LE ROI! A BAS LE REPUBLIQUE!!!!
THE SOLDIERS AT THE GATES OF THE BASTILLE: ....go home buddy, you're drunk
(In the meantime, Percy has rescued the Dauphin, mostly offscreen. Rescuing the Dauphin is basically a footnote in this book, because in spite of all Percy's words Baroness Orczy ALSO cares way more about Armand's lonely soul.)
But at this point, while Armand is still shouting uselessly at the gates, Chauvelin FINALLY shows up!
“A nous deux,” he muttered between tightly clenched teeth; “a nous deux once more, my enigmatical Scarlet Pimpernel.”
Chauvelin rapidly convinces Armand to betray Percy in exchange for his girlfriend's life; Armand spends the next several chapters agonizing offscreen about his role as Judas, but nobody cares, because onscreen several way more exciting things are happening:
- PERCY is imprisoned in highly fanfictional agony in the Bastille, having gone several weeks without any sleep and on the verge of a mental breakdown!
- MARGUERITE is riding to the rescue in Paris, determined that THIS time she's not going to get captured and is going to support Percy to the end!
- CHAUVELIN is, as always, doing the world's worst job of controlling his thirst as he attempts to dominate Percy into submission!
His tread had been furtive and almost noiseless. Now he paused, for he had caught sight of the prisoner. For a moment he stood quite still, with hands clasped behind his back in his wonted attitude—still save for a strange, involuntary twitching of his mouth, and the nervous clasping and interlocking of his fingers behind his back. He was savouring to its utmost fulsomeness the supremest joy which animal man can ever know—the joy of looking on a fallen enemy.
“I would give strict orders that perfect quietude reigned in the guard-room this night,” said Chauvelin, murmuring softly, and there was a gentle purr in his voice, “and that you were left undisturbed for several hours. I would give orders that a comforting supper be served to you at once, and that everything be done to minister to your wants.”
“That sounds d—d alluring, sir. Why did you not suggest this before?”
“You were so—what shall I say—so obstinate, Sir Percy?”
“Call it pig-headed, my dear Monsieur Chambertin,” retorted Blakeney gaily, “truly you would oblige me.”
Look. LOOK. Chauvelin is just having a lot of feelings about his captive enemy, all right? It's perfectly normal!
At the airily-spoken words, at the smile that accompanied them, Chauvelin had jumped to his feet. There was something almost supernatural, weird, and impish about the present situation, about this dying man who, like an impudent schoolboy, seemed to be mocking Death with his tongue in his cheek, about his laugh that appeared to find its echo in a widely yawning grave.
“In the name of God, Sir Percy,” he said roughly, as he brought his clenched fist crashing down upon the table, “this situation is intolerable. Bring it to an end to-night!”
“Why, sir?” retorted Blakeney, “methought you and your kind did not believe in God.”
There is a secondary villain hanging around, by the way, who does actually care about the Dauphin. His is a rough road to ride, as he is absolutely the only person in the entire book who does. Chauvelin flat-out says that he doesn't give two figs for the Dauphin, he cares ONLY FOR HIS NEMESIS. No wonder he only sort of has a job at this point.
The book culminates with a road trip during which Armand redeems himself, Marguerite doesn't actually do very much but is present and heroic in spirit and not a total liability so we'll take it, and Chauvelin and his secondary villain of the week are yet again thoroughly humiliated. He'll get you next time, my pretty!
I am pleased to note that this marks FOUR books during which Percy has still not yet actually sword-fought anybody.
...though to be fair to myself, everything that happens in Eldorado before Chauvelin turns up is just Armand St. Just moping around making poor life choices while Baroness Orczy tells us that he can't help it, it's all part of his fiery Latin temperament.
In the first half of the book, Armand falls inconveniently in love while Percy is in the middle of planning his Perfect Dauphin Heist; Percy hits Armand with his very best "who cares about your lonely soul," but Armand absolutely refuses to put the mission above his girlfriend! ever! at any time!
ARMAND: You know that feeling when you just fall in love so hard that rescuing people doesn't seem all that important anymore?
PERCY: .... no?
Inevitably, Armand's girlfriend gets imprisoned.
PERCY: Just calm down and stay out of the way, I have a plan!
ARMAND: I have decided to ignore your plan and pursue my vastly superior plan!
PERCY: .... which is ....
ARMAND: To run up to the gates of the Bastille shouting VIVE LE ROI as loud as I can until they let me in to perish with my beloved! VIVE LE ROI! A BAS LE REPUBLIQUE!!!!
THE SOLDIERS AT THE GATES OF THE BASTILLE: ....go home buddy, you're drunk
(In the meantime, Percy has rescued the Dauphin, mostly offscreen. Rescuing the Dauphin is basically a footnote in this book, because in spite of all Percy's words Baroness Orczy ALSO cares way more about Armand's lonely soul.)
But at this point, while Armand is still shouting uselessly at the gates, Chauvelin FINALLY shows up!
“A nous deux,” he muttered between tightly clenched teeth; “a nous deux once more, my enigmatical Scarlet Pimpernel.”
Chauvelin rapidly convinces Armand to betray Percy in exchange for his girlfriend's life; Armand spends the next several chapters agonizing offscreen about his role as Judas, but nobody cares, because onscreen several way more exciting things are happening:
- PERCY is imprisoned in highly fanfictional agony in the Bastille, having gone several weeks without any sleep and on the verge of a mental breakdown!
- MARGUERITE is riding to the rescue in Paris, determined that THIS time she's not going to get captured and is going to support Percy to the end!
- CHAUVELIN is, as always, doing the world's worst job of controlling his thirst as he attempts to dominate Percy into submission!
His tread had been furtive and almost noiseless. Now he paused, for he had caught sight of the prisoner. For a moment he stood quite still, with hands clasped behind his back in his wonted attitude—still save for a strange, involuntary twitching of his mouth, and the nervous clasping and interlocking of his fingers behind his back. He was savouring to its utmost fulsomeness the supremest joy which animal man can ever know—the joy of looking on a fallen enemy.
“I would give strict orders that perfect quietude reigned in the guard-room this night,” said Chauvelin, murmuring softly, and there was a gentle purr in his voice, “and that you were left undisturbed for several hours. I would give orders that a comforting supper be served to you at once, and that everything be done to minister to your wants.”
“That sounds d—d alluring, sir. Why did you not suggest this before?”
“You were so—what shall I say—so obstinate, Sir Percy?”
“Call it pig-headed, my dear Monsieur Chambertin,” retorted Blakeney gaily, “truly you would oblige me.”
Look. LOOK. Chauvelin is just having a lot of feelings about his captive enemy, all right? It's perfectly normal!
At the airily-spoken words, at the smile that accompanied them, Chauvelin had jumped to his feet. There was something almost supernatural, weird, and impish about the present situation, about this dying man who, like an impudent schoolboy, seemed to be mocking Death with his tongue in his cheek, about his laugh that appeared to find its echo in a widely yawning grave.
“In the name of God, Sir Percy,” he said roughly, as he brought his clenched fist crashing down upon the table, “this situation is intolerable. Bring it to an end to-night!”
“Why, sir?” retorted Blakeney, “methought you and your kind did not believe in God.”
There is a secondary villain hanging around, by the way, who does actually care about the Dauphin. His is a rough road to ride, as he is absolutely the only person in the entire book who does. Chauvelin flat-out says that he doesn't give two figs for the Dauphin, he cares ONLY FOR HIS NEMESIS. No wonder he only sort of has a job at this point.
The book culminates with a road trip during which Armand redeems himself, Marguerite doesn't actually do very much but is present and heroic in spirit and not a total liability so we'll take it, and Chauvelin and his secondary villain of the week are yet again thoroughly humiliated. He'll get you next time, my pretty!
I am pleased to note that this marks FOUR books during which Percy has still not yet actually sword-fought anybody.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-27 03:20 am (UTC)Which one of Armand and Marguerite's parents hailed from Retconia again?
“A nous deux,” he muttered between tightly clenched teeth; “a nous deux once more, my enigmatical Scarlet Pimpernel.”
Oh, my God.
I am pleased to note that this marks FOUR books during which Percy has still not yet actually sword-fought anybody.
Hooray!
no subject
Date: 2018-09-27 04:11 am (UTC)Oh, Chauvelin!
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Date: 2018-09-27 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-27 04:12 pm (UTC)Srsly? Enigmatical?!?
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Date: 2018-09-27 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-28 01:14 am (UTC)Also, I imagine that he has a lengthy and convoluted fantasy that he likes to elaborate at nights when he's having trouble falling asleep, which involves him cradling the Scarlet Pimpernel's body as he dies (probably after Chauvelin finally vanquishes him) and the Pimpernel admits that Chauvelin was a worthy nemesis, and probably Chauvelin presses a kiss to Percy's still-warm brow after he expires...
no subject
Date: 2018-09-29 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-29 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-29 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-29 02:14 pm (UTC)(And if he'd just said 'my enigmatic Pimpernel,' it would actually scan to 'that damned elusive Pimpernel,' but no!)
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Date: 2018-09-29 02:17 pm (UTC)(I mean I ALSO love Marguerite and Percy, and it's very exciting when Marguerite gets to actually do things, but we're rarely in Percy's head and the inside of Marguerite's head is at this point unfortunately 50% Sublime Sorrow at the fact that Percy is constantly putting himself in danger no matter how much it stresses her out.)
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Date: 2018-09-29 02:21 pm (UTC)I'm pretty sure that fantasy of Chauvelin's is straight-up canon.
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Date: 2018-09-29 06:24 pm (UTC)I cannot begin to imagine.