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May. 22nd, 2008 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsOkay, I will admit, I am really growing quite fond of Victorian poetry in general. (It helps that my professor gets a huge kick out of emphasizing the creepy and bizarre bits, of which there are many.) And although I read Tennyson's Idylls of the King many years ago when I was young and naive and planning to write the next great Arthurian epic, I find myself much fonder of Tennyson's take on the Arthurian legends now.
Dedication:
TENNYSON: And so that is why I based my King Arthur off of Prince Albert.
BECCA: You have GOT to be kidding me.
The Coming of Arthur:
GUINEVERE'S FATHER: So, this Arthur person, is he really Uther's son?
EVERYONE ELSE: *cryptic riddles and enthusiastic hurrah-ing!*
GUINEVERE'S FATHER: You people are not helpful.
TENNYSON: And then Arthur did lots of awesome things, blah blah blah, let's skip ahead.
Gareth and Lynette:
TENNYSON: You mean he follows her all over England determined to help her out, they bicker the entire way, he teaches her to appreciate inner worth, and then they don't end up together? WHATEVER, Malory, GARETH/LYNETTE OTP FOREVER.
The Marriage of Geraint:
GERAINT: So I'm worried that my wife has picked up cheating habits from Guinevere, but -
TENNYSON: WAIT WAIT WAIT first I'm going to tell everyone about how cute you guys were when you first rescued her from her evil cousin so they'll actually care!
GERAINT: And then I told her not to wear her pretty dress so that instead she could get pretty clothes as charity from me and the queen!
TENNYSON: Okay, maybe you were kind of a jerk even then.
Geraint and Enid:
GERAINT: SO, as I was saying, Enid, because I am convinced you are cheating on me, we're going to ride all over England and I forbid you to talk to me.
ENID: There are robbers ahead waiting to kill you!
GERAINT: What did I say about not talking to me????
ENID: *after several iterations of this, grows so exasperated that she ACTS OUT IN CHARADES 'there are robbers ahead waiting to kill you!'
GERAINT: Thanks, that's better.
Balin and Balan:
BALIN: I got kicked out of court because of my anger management issues, but I'm all better now thanks to the help of my brother Balan!
BALAN: I'm riding off questing. Good luck with those issues!
*some time passes*
BALIN (dying on the ground after an accidental fight with Balan): Iiii guess my anger management issues still need some work.
BALAN (also dying on the ground): YOU THINK?
Merlin and Vivien:
VIVIEN: Tell me that spell that will lock you up for ever. :D?
MERLIN: Uh, no.
VIVIEN: Pleasepleasepleasepleaseprettyprettyprettyplease?
MERLIN: . . . . . okay.
Lancelot and Elaine:
TENNYSON: I've already got The Lady of Shallott around here somewhere . . . it just needs a little tweaking and no one will notice!
The Holy Grail:
ENTIRE COURT: We're going off to seek the Holy Grail!
KING ARTHUR: I have a feeling that this is going to end a whole lot more badly than the Monty Python version.
Pelleas and Ettarre:
PELLEAS: *stalks Lady Ettarre*
ETTARRE: GO AWAY! *hooks up with Gawain*
PELLEAS: ZOMG my lady is untrue! EVERYONE SUCKS AND I WANT THE WORLD TO DIE. STRIKE ME, LIGHTNING, STRIKE ME.
The Last Tournament:
TENNYSON: In case you didn't get it before, things in Arthur's court are seriously going to shit.
Guinevere:
GUINEVERE: . . . well, that was dumb.
The Passing of Arthur:
TENNYSON: MIST FALLS, EVERYONE DIES.
ARTHUR: I'm not dead yet!
BEDIVERE: Me neither!
ARTHUR: Bedivere, go throw away Excalibur so I can get carried off to Avalon and become a mythic returning figure.
BEDIVERE: But it's so pretty . . . .
ARTHUR: What about 'so I can get carried off to Avalon and become a mythic returning figure' did you not understand?
To The Queen:
TENNYSON: So that is why I decided to write the most gloomy Arthurian book I could. Toodles!
Dedication:
TENNYSON: And so that is why I based my King Arthur off of Prince Albert.
BECCA: You have GOT to be kidding me.
The Coming of Arthur:
GUINEVERE'S FATHER: So, this Arthur person, is he really Uther's son?
EVERYONE ELSE: *cryptic riddles and enthusiastic hurrah-ing!*
GUINEVERE'S FATHER: You people are not helpful.
TENNYSON: And then Arthur did lots of awesome things, blah blah blah, let's skip ahead.
Gareth and Lynette:
TENNYSON: You mean he follows her all over England determined to help her out, they bicker the entire way, he teaches her to appreciate inner worth, and then they don't end up together? WHATEVER, Malory, GARETH/LYNETTE OTP FOREVER.
The Marriage of Geraint:
GERAINT: So I'm worried that my wife has picked up cheating habits from Guinevere, but -
TENNYSON: WAIT WAIT WAIT first I'm going to tell everyone about how cute you guys were when you first rescued her from her evil cousin so they'll actually care!
GERAINT: And then I told her not to wear her pretty dress so that instead she could get pretty clothes as charity from me and the queen!
TENNYSON: Okay, maybe you were kind of a jerk even then.
Geraint and Enid:
GERAINT: SO, as I was saying, Enid, because I am convinced you are cheating on me, we're going to ride all over England and I forbid you to talk to me.
ENID: There are robbers ahead waiting to kill you!
GERAINT: What did I say about not talking to me????
ENID: *after several iterations of this, grows so exasperated that she ACTS OUT IN CHARADES 'there are robbers ahead waiting to kill you!'
GERAINT: Thanks, that's better.
Balin and Balan:
BALIN: I got kicked out of court because of my anger management issues, but I'm all better now thanks to the help of my brother Balan!
BALAN: I'm riding off questing. Good luck with those issues!
*some time passes*
BALIN (dying on the ground after an accidental fight with Balan): Iiii guess my anger management issues still need some work.
BALAN (also dying on the ground): YOU THINK?
Merlin and Vivien:
VIVIEN: Tell me that spell that will lock you up for ever. :D?
MERLIN: Uh, no.
VIVIEN: Pleasepleasepleasepleaseprettyprettyprettyplease?
MERLIN: . . . . . okay.
Lancelot and Elaine:
TENNYSON: I've already got The Lady of Shallott around here somewhere . . . it just needs a little tweaking and no one will notice!
The Holy Grail:
ENTIRE COURT: We're going off to seek the Holy Grail!
KING ARTHUR: I have a feeling that this is going to end a whole lot more badly than the Monty Python version.
Pelleas and Ettarre:
PELLEAS: *stalks Lady Ettarre*
ETTARRE: GO AWAY! *hooks up with Gawain*
PELLEAS: ZOMG my lady is untrue! EVERYONE SUCKS AND I WANT THE WORLD TO DIE. STRIKE ME, LIGHTNING, STRIKE ME.
The Last Tournament:
TENNYSON: In case you didn't get it before, things in Arthur's court are seriously going to shit.
Guinevere:
GUINEVERE: . . . well, that was dumb.
The Passing of Arthur:
TENNYSON: MIST FALLS, EVERYONE DIES.
ARTHUR: I'm not dead yet!
BEDIVERE: Me neither!
ARTHUR: Bedivere, go throw away Excalibur so I can get carried off to Avalon and become a mythic returning figure.
BEDIVERE: But it's so pretty . . . .
ARTHUR: What about 'so I can get carried off to Avalon and become a mythic returning figure' did you not understand?
To The Queen:
TENNYSON: So that is why I decided to write the most gloomy Arthurian book I could. Toodles!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-22 08:02 pm (UTC)Best version of epic poetry EVER.
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Date: 2008-05-22 09:29 pm (UTC)Really I am just still flabbergasted by Prince Albert Arthur. Seriously, Tennyson?
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Date: 2008-05-22 10:27 pm (UTC)I mean. Flattering the monarch is an old, old tradition, and all, but -- really? Really, Tennyson? *giggling*
Shamefaced confession: I have never actually read Idylls of the King, beyond a few excerpts. My Arthuriana knowledge is actually shamefully small, by and large.
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Date: 2008-05-23 01:13 am (UTC)I went through an obsessive stage in my high school days, or I likely would not have either! I do like it, though - Tennyson is kind of obsessed with the Lancelot-Guinevere portion of the tale, but because it's mostly just this Dark Underbelly hinting through all the other stories until the Inevitable Doom, their romance is a lot less . . . boring? *sheepish* than the other versions that are all OH TRAGIC TRIANGLE.)
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Date: 2008-05-23 01:53 am (UTC)Ohhhh, Tennyson. Did he take that comparison SERIOUSLY?
Ooh. That does sound interesting. Because a lot of my boredom with Arthuriana is the Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot triangle. You know my feelings on Epic Doomed Love, plus DOOMED TRAGIC RELATIONSHIPS ON A COURSE TO IMPLOSION always give me contact embarrassment hives. But if that is just background to other stories, that's possibly different.
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Date: 2008-05-23 04:23 am (UTC)Well, I am not sure entirely background is the right way to describe it - it is more like a collection of linked short stories where there is Something Important going on in the background of the community that gradually becomes more and more prominent. Which I find a really cool narrative technique, so I enjoyed it! And when Tennyson finally does focus on it, he is much more like, 'well, guys, that was dumb,' than the TRAGIC DOOMED LOVE bit.