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Mar. 1st, 2024 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsI had two very different media experiences recently that somehow both turned out to have more or less the same dramatic mid-media twist, so I have decided I might as well talk about them by comparing them. I apologize if I have in this way spoiled anyone who knows one of these media properties but not the other for either Knights of the Old Republic (Bioware RPG video game, 2003) or Argylle (action comedy, 2024.)
Pacing
Argylle is over two hours long. This is much too long for the movie that it is. However, KOTOR took me over 40 hours to play and the last two hours of that were just running around flailing, screaming, and saving after every five minutes. Also I hate the long minigame that you have to play whenever the ships attack you in between planets, because I am bad at it. Point: Argylle.
Romance
Well, to be honest, I did not successfully romance anyone in KOTOR, and I don't particularly feel like I was missing out. On the other hand, the romance in Argylle sort of combines the worst qualities of all the KOTOR textual romance options put together: like Bastila, he's forcibly conscripting the protagonist into Adventure while gaslighting her about her identity; like Juhani, he's got a profound case of hero-worship without knowing the full details of the heroine's Turn to Evil; and, like Carth, he's Just A Guy in a mildly misogynistic way, except Carth also has the Just A Guy charm factor of being the only person in your party who is even more confused and concerned about everything that's happening than you are, whereas Sam Rockwell in Argylle is Just a Guy but also thinks stomping through people's heads is no big deal. Deeply charmless. I proposed togenarti later that I thought Bill Pullman in his heyday could possibly have pulled off a charming version of this character and I may have been thinking of Carth when I said that, and then we got into an argument about whether Bill Pullman is Hollywood Hot or Just A Guy [or Hollywood's version of Just A Guy] in a way that wouldn't work for the guy in Argylle, but also the guy in Argylle didn't work for me, so. Point: KOTOR.
Pets
The heroine of Argylle tows around her cat in one of those little backpacks. This is cute but stressful, especially since the cat is a Scottish fold and so one is concerned for his little joints. The hero of KOTOR tows around a horrible murder cat of an assassin droid named HK-47. This is even more charming and I am not concerned for his little joints at all. Point: KOTOR.
Other characters
Aside from HK-47, KOTOR's best character is Jolee Bindo, an charmingly eccentric anti-authoritarian ex-Jedi mentor who spouts cryptic wisdom and could easily be played by Samuel L. Jackson. Argylle's best character is also a charming eccentric who is in fact played by Samuel L. Jackson. However, in Argylle, rather than being an anti-authoritarian, he is a Fed; also, he's also only on screen for like ten minutes out of the whole, whereas you can bring Jolee with you literally everywhere for 90% of the game. Point: KOTOR.
Placement within a larger franchise
I knew going in that KOTOR was a Star Wars Property that I was Going to Experience, for better or for worse. I did not know going in that Argylle was part of the larger King's Man universe. I was enjoying never having seen a film in the King's Man universe and I regret that this is no longer true. Point: KOTOR.
Highest high
Argylle has a scene in which the heroine straps knives to her feet and ice skates through a pool of liquid petroleum in order to murder her way through twenty goons. KOTOR has nothing to compare. Point: Argylle.
Lowest low
You know there were a lot of moments in Argylle that I think I didn't particularly enjoy at the time, but at present the only ones I can remember are the head-stomping-like-melons and the line in which someone compares the heroine to John Le Carre, which nearly made me shout 'take his name out of your mouth!' in the middle of the theater. However, the side quest in KOTOR about the husband droid will haunt me forever, and not in the good way. Point: Argylle.
As Queer Media
In KOTOR, Juhani is canonically a lesbian Jedi and you can romance her. Her romance arc is not that interesting to me but you know what, good for Bioware in 2003. Conversely, nobody in Argylle is canonically gay. However, it does hint just enough that Our Heroine had a backstory fling with another female character to be titillating without ever coming out and confirming itself! Also, the heroine has been subconsciously writing herself into her books as Henry Cavill, and her love interest as John Cena, so one can infer that she may have some gender stuff going on and also that in the text-within-a-text Henry Cavill and John Cena are intended to kiss at some point. None of this is engaged with at all within the text of the film and I wouldn't trust it with it if it did, but it's certainly all there to be inferred. I found it all mildly irritating-to-insulting but someone could probably write interesting fic about it. Still, point: KOTOR.
That Big Twist
In KOTOR, the big twist that you [player character] are secretly an amnesiac and brainwashed Darth Revan [big bad] is fairly easy to guess from fairly early on [by the fact that nobody will give Darth Revan pronouns in talking about the backstory] but is fun when it happens; the biggest part of the surprise (to me) was how much all the Jedi were gaslighting you about it, which I don't think works necessarily but is interesting! It's also fun to run around afterwards declaring "I AM DARTH REVAN" and have everybody else that you encounter laugh in your face.
However not much in the actual game's endgame leans into the identity stuff in a particularly interesting way, IMO -- or at least not if you're light side; the dark side ending maybe works better in that way but I think that's bad storytelling, frankly. Both should be equally interesting! But there's no narrative oomph there and also very little narrative nuance or middle path to tread between cartoonish evil and strict law-abiding virtue. As always when I'm playing a Bioware game that is not DAII, I miss Purple Hawke.
In Argylle, on the other hand, the big twist that the heroine is secretly an amnesiac and brainwashed 'superspy' -- I use the term 'superspy' in quotes because these people are cartoon action heroes and literally nothing they do bears any resemblance to anything one would do in espionage -- I did not see coming until like five minutes before it happened. I don't know that it makes it better, necessarily. Because it is a movie, and not a game where you-the-player are constantly asked to make a choice between Basic Good Actions and Basic Bad Actions, it also does a better job at keeping up narrative tension around our heroine's motivations and alignment. It does not do an interesting job at generating any psychological depth or interest around the integration of her pre- and post-amnesia personalities. Nor does KOTOR, really. Neither of these media properties are really set up to tell that story well. But at least in KOTOR you can bring your own imagination to that integration ... I started writing this out without really knowing where I was going to place the point but I think I've got to give it to: KOTOR!
If my math is right, on my completely objective and balanced scale, KOTOR is trouncing Argylle 6 to 3, which honestly seems about right. I really can't emphasize enough how amazingly absurd the ice skating scene is, though. Worth the price of admission!
Pacing
Argylle is over two hours long. This is much too long for the movie that it is. However, KOTOR took me over 40 hours to play and the last two hours of that were just running around flailing, screaming, and saving after every five minutes. Also I hate the long minigame that you have to play whenever the ships attack you in between planets, because I am bad at it. Point: Argylle.
Romance
Well, to be honest, I did not successfully romance anyone in KOTOR, and I don't particularly feel like I was missing out. On the other hand, the romance in Argylle sort of combines the worst qualities of all the KOTOR textual romance options put together: like Bastila, he's forcibly conscripting the protagonist into Adventure while gaslighting her about her identity; like Juhani, he's got a profound case of hero-worship without knowing the full details of the heroine's Turn to Evil; and, like Carth, he's Just A Guy in a mildly misogynistic way, except Carth also has the Just A Guy charm factor of being the only person in your party who is even more confused and concerned about everything that's happening than you are, whereas Sam Rockwell in Argylle is Just a Guy but also thinks stomping through people's heads is no big deal. Deeply charmless. I proposed to
genarti later that I thought Bill Pullman in his heyday could possibly have pulled off a charming version of this character and I may have been thinking of Carth when I said that, and then we got into an argument about whether Bill Pullman is Hollywood Hot or Just A Guy [or Hollywood's version of Just A Guy] in a way that wouldn't work for the guy in Argylle, but also the guy in Argylle didn't work for me, so. Point: KOTOR. Pets
The heroine of Argylle tows around her cat in one of those little backpacks. This is cute but stressful, especially since the cat is a Scottish fold and so one is concerned for his little joints. The hero of KOTOR tows around a horrible murder cat of an assassin droid named HK-47. This is even more charming and I am not concerned for his little joints at all. Point: KOTOR.
Other characters
Aside from HK-47, KOTOR's best character is Jolee Bindo, an charmingly eccentric anti-authoritarian ex-Jedi mentor who spouts cryptic wisdom and could easily be played by Samuel L. Jackson. Argylle's best character is also a charming eccentric who is in fact played by Samuel L. Jackson. However, in Argylle, rather than being an anti-authoritarian, he is a Fed; also, he's also only on screen for like ten minutes out of the whole, whereas you can bring Jolee with you literally everywhere for 90% of the game. Point: KOTOR.
Placement within a larger franchise
I knew going in that KOTOR was a Star Wars Property that I was Going to Experience, for better or for worse. I did not know going in that Argylle was part of the larger King's Man universe. I was enjoying never having seen a film in the King's Man universe and I regret that this is no longer true. Point: KOTOR.
Highest high
Argylle has a scene in which the heroine straps knives to her feet and ice skates through a pool of liquid petroleum in order to murder her way through twenty goons. KOTOR has nothing to compare. Point: Argylle.
Lowest low
You know there were a lot of moments in Argylle that I think I didn't particularly enjoy at the time, but at present the only ones I can remember are the head-stomping-like-melons and the line in which someone compares the heroine to John Le Carre, which nearly made me shout 'take his name out of your mouth!' in the middle of the theater. However, the side quest in KOTOR about the husband droid will haunt me forever, and not in the good way. Point: Argylle.
As Queer Media
In KOTOR, Juhani is canonically a lesbian Jedi and you can romance her. Her romance arc is not that interesting to me but you know what, good for Bioware in 2003. Conversely, nobody in Argylle is canonically gay. However, it does hint just enough that Our Heroine had a backstory fling with another female character to be titillating without ever coming out and confirming itself! Also, the heroine has been subconsciously writing herself into her books as Henry Cavill, and her love interest as John Cena, so one can infer that she may have some gender stuff going on and also that in the text-within-a-text Henry Cavill and John Cena are intended to kiss at some point. None of this is engaged with at all within the text of the film and I wouldn't trust it with it if it did, but it's certainly all there to be inferred. I found it all mildly irritating-to-insulting but someone could probably write interesting fic about it. Still, point: KOTOR.
That Big Twist
In KOTOR, the big twist that you [player character] are secretly an amnesiac and brainwashed Darth Revan [big bad] is fairly easy to guess from fairly early on [by the fact that nobody will give Darth Revan pronouns in talking about the backstory] but is fun when it happens; the biggest part of the surprise (to me) was how much all the Jedi were gaslighting you about it, which I don't think works necessarily but is interesting! It's also fun to run around afterwards declaring "I AM DARTH REVAN" and have everybody else that you encounter laugh in your face.
However not much in the actual game's endgame leans into the identity stuff in a particularly interesting way, IMO -- or at least not if you're light side; the dark side ending maybe works better in that way but I think that's bad storytelling, frankly. Both should be equally interesting! But there's no narrative oomph there and also very little narrative nuance or middle path to tread between cartoonish evil and strict law-abiding virtue. As always when I'm playing a Bioware game that is not DAII, I miss Purple Hawke.
In Argylle, on the other hand, the big twist that the heroine is secretly an amnesiac and brainwashed 'superspy' -- I use the term 'superspy' in quotes because these people are cartoon action heroes and literally nothing they do bears any resemblance to anything one would do in espionage -- I did not see coming until like five minutes before it happened. I don't know that it makes it better, necessarily. Because it is a movie, and not a game where you-the-player are constantly asked to make a choice between Basic Good Actions and Basic Bad Actions, it also does a better job at keeping up narrative tension around our heroine's motivations and alignment. It does not do an interesting job at generating any psychological depth or interest around the integration of her pre- and post-amnesia personalities. Nor does KOTOR, really. Neither of these media properties are really set up to tell that story well. But at least in KOTOR you can bring your own imagination to that integration ... I started writing this out without really knowing where I was going to place the point but I think I've got to give it to: KOTOR!
If my math is right, on my completely objective and balanced scale, KOTOR is trouncing Argylle 6 to 3, which honestly seems about right. I really can't emphasize enough how amazingly absurd the ice skating scene is, though. Worth the price of admission!
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Date: 2024-03-03 05:53 am (UTC)