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Sep. 10th, 2012 12:58 pmI picked up Anita Loos' Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes because I'd recently seen the movie for the first time --
-- and guys, as a sidebar, this movie is great.
The entire plot basically goes like this:
MARILYN MONROE: I am a gold-digger . . . with a heart of gold! I am here to marry a rich man.
JANE RUSSELL: I am just here to look for hot dudes and get laid. OH NO did you say the whole sexy swim team is sworn to celibacy until after the Olympics? ;______;
HOT DETECTIVE: I am a hot detective! And I love you, Jane Russell!
JANE RUSSELL: Excellent, I'm getting laid tonight after all!
HOT DETECTIVE: But while I'm at it I am going to expose Marilyn Monroe for her gold-digging ways. She's a bad influence on you!
JANE RUSSELL: OH HELL NO. Hurt my friend, and I UNLEASH THE WHIRLWIND.
HOT DETECTIVE: But . . . but I love you! And she's a gold-digging hussy!
JANE RUSSELL: OVARIES BEFORE BROVARIES. Asshole.
And now, unfortunate side effect, I'm in love with Jane Russell. Oops!
Anyway unfortunately the books, while an entertaining satire on the 1920's, are not nearly as much about ladyfriendship as the film -- and one gets the impression that Anita Loos has somewhat less respect for the intelligence of Lorelei Lee, the titular blonde. However, I am still glad I read it, because now I know about Anita Loos!
Anita Loos first came to fame and fortune in the 1910s writing extremely witty scripts and intertitles for Douglas Fairbanks films.
ANITA LOOS: "My most popular subtitle introduced the name of a new character. The name was something like this: 'Count Xxerkzsxxv.' Then there was a note, 'To those of you who read titles aloud, you can't pronounce the Count's name. You can only think it.'"
Then she married director and writing partner John Emerson! Unfortunately, John Emerson turned out to be an emotionally abusive asshole.
JOHN EMERSON: So honey, how about I get one day a week to, uh, not be married? :D
ANITA LOOS: . . . well, I guess while you are doing that, I am going to write a bestselling novel!
Hence: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
Unfortunately, this backfired a little.
JOHN EMERSON: Oh my gosh you are TOO SUCCESSFUL. I . . . I feel an attack of the vapors coming on. I AM TAKING TO MY BED.
ANITA LOOS: . . . maybe I'll go to London for a break from this nonsense?
JOHN EMERSON: Anita are you having fun and being successful?! I am calling you from my deathbed! I AM SO SICK. I THINK I AM PROBABLY DYING. DO YOU HEAR ME.
ANITA LOOS: Jesus, again?
ANITA LOOS: So, maybe . . . we should get a divorce?
JOHN EMERSON: But then how could you support me in the style to which I have become accustomed? -- I mean, um, let's get separated, and I will give you an allowance. Out of the money you have earned by being incredibly witty and successful.
ANITA LOOS: *SIGH*
This went on for quite a while. But finally, Anita managed to get her divorce, moved in with a lady friend, and continued being fabulous, witty and successful in New York for the better part of a century.
In the 1970s, when Gentlemen Prefer Blondes was re-released, a wannabe witty interviewer asked her what she would have titled it in the modern era.
ANITA LOOS: "Today, I'd write Gentlemen Prefer Gentlemen." :D
Anita Loos, y'all.
-- and guys, as a sidebar, this movie is great.
The entire plot basically goes like this:
MARILYN MONROE: I am a gold-digger . . . with a heart of gold! I am here to marry a rich man.
JANE RUSSELL: I am just here to look for hot dudes and get laid. OH NO did you say the whole sexy swim team is sworn to celibacy until after the Olympics? ;______;
HOT DETECTIVE: I am a hot detective! And I love you, Jane Russell!
JANE RUSSELL: Excellent, I'm getting laid tonight after all!
HOT DETECTIVE: But while I'm at it I am going to expose Marilyn Monroe for her gold-digging ways. She's a bad influence on you!
JANE RUSSELL: OH HELL NO. Hurt my friend, and I UNLEASH THE WHIRLWIND.
HOT DETECTIVE: But . . . but I love you! And she's a gold-digging hussy!
JANE RUSSELL: OVARIES BEFORE BROVARIES. Asshole.
And now, unfortunate side effect, I'm in love with Jane Russell. Oops!
Anyway unfortunately the books, while an entertaining satire on the 1920's, are not nearly as much about ladyfriendship as the film -- and one gets the impression that Anita Loos has somewhat less respect for the intelligence of Lorelei Lee, the titular blonde. However, I am still glad I read it, because now I know about Anita Loos!
Anita Loos first came to fame and fortune in the 1910s writing extremely witty scripts and intertitles for Douglas Fairbanks films.
ANITA LOOS: "My most popular subtitle introduced the name of a new character. The name was something like this: 'Count Xxerkzsxxv.' Then there was a note, 'To those of you who read titles aloud, you can't pronounce the Count's name. You can only think it.'"
Then she married director and writing partner John Emerson! Unfortunately, John Emerson turned out to be an emotionally abusive asshole.
JOHN EMERSON: So honey, how about I get one day a week to, uh, not be married? :D
ANITA LOOS: . . . well, I guess while you are doing that, I am going to write a bestselling novel!
Hence: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
Unfortunately, this backfired a little.
JOHN EMERSON: Oh my gosh you are TOO SUCCESSFUL. I . . . I feel an attack of the vapors coming on. I AM TAKING TO MY BED.
ANITA LOOS: . . . maybe I'll go to London for a break from this nonsense?
JOHN EMERSON: Anita are you having fun and being successful?! I am calling you from my deathbed! I AM SO SICK. I THINK I AM PROBABLY DYING. DO YOU HEAR ME.
ANITA LOOS: Jesus, again?
ANITA LOOS: So, maybe . . . we should get a divorce?
JOHN EMERSON: But then how could you support me in the style to which I have become accustomed? -- I mean, um, let's get separated, and I will give you an allowance. Out of the money you have earned by being incredibly witty and successful.
ANITA LOOS: *SIGH*
This went on for quite a while. But finally, Anita managed to get her divorce, moved in with a lady friend, and continued being fabulous, witty and successful in New York for the better part of a century.
In the 1970s, when Gentlemen Prefer Blondes was re-released, a wannabe witty interviewer asked her what she would have titled it in the modern era.
ANITA LOOS: "Today, I'd write Gentlemen Prefer Gentlemen." :D
Anita Loos, y'all.
