![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Oct. 18th, 2011 01:43 pmSo the roommates and I have recently taken advantage of a month of free Hulu Plus, mostly so that we can gorge ourselves on the holdings of the Criterion Collection. One of the first things we watched is Hitchcock's The 39 Steps, and I need to talk to you guys about it because I had forgotten how very much it is an amazing movie about THE WORST ACTION HERO EVER.
THINGS THAT RICHARD HANNAY BELIEVES TO BE TRUE:
1.) If you are a dashing gentleman, it is perfectly normal for ladies to accost you in the street and demand that you take them home with them!
2.) If there's a dead body in your flat, never mind! Somebody else will take care of it.
3.) If you're a handsome man on the run from the police, just grab a nearby lady, fakeout-makeout with her until the police go away, and then earnestly explain that it's not your fault and she simply has to help you. Surely she will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
4.) If a jealous gentleman thinks you have been macking on his wife, just cheerfully explain that he's got it all wrong, you're just on the run from the law. Surely he will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
5.) If you have discovered that a respected local official is secretly a foreign agent, just go to the police and tell them that a.) you are the murderer they have been looking for but b.) NO LOOK THEY'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG. Surely they will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
6.) If you have been mistaken for a political campaigner while on the run, no worries - a gentleman with your trustworthy face and dashing good looks will have no difficulty BSing your way through a political speech!
THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY TRUE
1.) No, if ladies accost you in the middle of the street and demand to be taken home, it is generally not because your face is JUST THAT DASHING.
2.) If you leave dead bodies lying around in your flat, someone is liable to believe you murdered them. WEIRD, HUH.
3.) No, in fact, if you have just grabbed a strange lady and started macking on her, what she is going to do is SLAP YOU IN THE FACE AND REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE AT ONCE. (At which point we all cheered!)
4.) No, in fact, if you tell a jealous husband that you are a wanted man, HE IS GOING TO TURN YOU IN. (At which point we all facepalmed.)
5.) . . . and if you tell a police officer that you are in fact the murderer he has been searching for, HE IS GOING TO ARREST YOU. (At which point we officially decided he was the worst accidental spy of all time.)
6.) Actually this does turn out to be true! Richard Hannay's one great gift, as it turns out, is hilariously BSing inspirational speeches. (At which point we decided that Richard Hannay was Jeff Winger, and now I DESPERATELY WANT that fic.)
In other news: anyone have specific recommendations for Criterion Collection films we should take advantage of before our month runs out?
THINGS THAT RICHARD HANNAY BELIEVES TO BE TRUE:
1.) If you are a dashing gentleman, it is perfectly normal for ladies to accost you in the street and demand that you take them home with them!
2.) If there's a dead body in your flat, never mind! Somebody else will take care of it.
3.) If you're a handsome man on the run from the police, just grab a nearby lady, fakeout-makeout with her until the police go away, and then earnestly explain that it's not your fault and she simply has to help you. Surely she will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
4.) If a jealous gentleman thinks you have been macking on his wife, just cheerfully explain that he's got it all wrong, you're just on the run from the law. Surely he will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
5.) If you have discovered that a respected local official is secretly a foreign agent, just go to the police and tell them that a.) you are the murderer they have been looking for but b.) NO LOOK THEY'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG. Surely they will be swayed by your trustworthy face and dashing good looks and assist you!
6.) If you have been mistaken for a political campaigner while on the run, no worries - a gentleman with your trustworthy face and dashing good looks will have no difficulty BSing your way through a political speech!
THINGS THAT ARE ACTUALLY TRUE
1.) No, if ladies accost you in the middle of the street and demand to be taken home, it is generally not because your face is JUST THAT DASHING.
2.) If you leave dead bodies lying around in your flat, someone is liable to believe you murdered them. WEIRD, HUH.
3.) No, in fact, if you have just grabbed a strange lady and started macking on her, what she is going to do is SLAP YOU IN THE FACE AND REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE AT ONCE. (At which point we all cheered!)
4.) No, in fact, if you tell a jealous husband that you are a wanted man, HE IS GOING TO TURN YOU IN. (At which point we all facepalmed.)
5.) . . . and if you tell a police officer that you are in fact the murderer he has been searching for, HE IS GOING TO ARREST YOU. (At which point we officially decided he was the worst accidental spy of all time.)
6.) Actually this does turn out to be true! Richard Hannay's one great gift, as it turns out, is hilariously BSing inspirational speeches. (At which point we decided that Richard Hannay was Jeff Winger, and now I DESPERATELY WANT that fic.)
In other news: anyone have specific recommendations for Criterion Collection films we should take advantage of before our month runs out?
