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Sep. 2nd, 2014 08:39 pmWhy did I feel compelled to read Death of a Schoolgirl, aka Jane Eyre Solves Mysteries v. 1? Well, I will tell you why:
1. the mystery involved Jane going to help Adele in boarding school and I have always been vaguely resentful that Adele did not show up at the end of the book
2. the back description seemed to indicate that Mr. Rochester was basically not in it AT ALL because Jane was gallivanting around solving mysteries and had no time for him, which is perfect as a concept for a Jane Eyre sequel. All that should ever happen in Jane Eyre sequels is Jane running around doing a million useful things while Rochester stays home and pines. A+, completely true to the spirit of the book.
3. the idea of Jane Eyre using her accomplished sketching skills for the purpose of CRIMINAL FORENSICS is, like, the best thing ever. Let's not lie. It's amazing.
...unfortunately, despite all these points in its favor, the book was not particularly good at capturing any kind of sense of Jane Eyre-ness. I feel bad saying that because the introduction explains that Jane Eyre is very personally meaningful to the author. Jane Eyre is personally meaningful to me too! I just do not think Joanna Campbell Slan's personal Jane is much like my personal Jane. This Jane, well....
JANE: Oh look, a letter from Adele! Who has been stuck at school without seeing anyone for over a year due to FIRE AND DOOM plus new baby! ... I am pretty seriously offended she hasn't congratulated me yet on the baby, I cannot IMAGINE why she wouldn't be happy about this.
ADELE, IN A LETTER: AU SECOURS AU SECOURS AU SECOURS!!!
JANE: This is mildly concerning, but probably no big deal? Everyone knows Adele is basically a dramallama.
However even though Adele is PROBABLY just being a dramallama, Jane wanders up to London anyway, where she promptly sees the body of a schoolgirl being carried out of Adele's school.
ADELE'S TEACHER: Heyyyyy yeah so Adele was freaked out about the dead girl so we gave her some laudanum and she's been passed out most of a day? It's cool, it's cool, kids get hysterical about this kind of thing!
JANE, whose backstory trauma is literally ALL ABOUT DEAD SCHOOLGIRLS: Well, all this is startling, but, I mean, you know the French and all! Definitely still not ruling out a plain case of dramallama!
So Jane wanders off again. She makes a new society lady friend. She thinks about pretty clothes, because clothes descriptions are obligatory in historical mysteries. She ponders her new social responsibilities as mistress of the manor and decides she needs to do more charity. Eventually she gets convinced to go undercover as a German teacher to solve the mystery of the dead schoolgirl, so she does that, and then does solve the mystery, which mostly consists of discovering that the victim was a horrible monster that everybody hated, because having us feel sorry for a dead teenager would be too easy, I guess.
At no point in time does she do anything that particularly reminds me of Jane Eyre. But, like, I'm trying not to judge, Jane Eyre fanfiction is super hard to write. I don't think I could pull off the quality of Jane Eyre-ness either! The thing about Jane Eyre -- or at least Jane Eyre as she is meaningful to me -- is that she's fierce and difficult and self-reliant and weird, like, HELLA weird. And how do you throw all that fierce weirdness at the Standard Historical Mystery London and make them interact? It's an interesting question but sadly I do not buy this book as an answer.
1. the mystery involved Jane going to help Adele in boarding school and I have always been vaguely resentful that Adele did not show up at the end of the book
2. the back description seemed to indicate that Mr. Rochester was basically not in it AT ALL because Jane was gallivanting around solving mysteries and had no time for him, which is perfect as a concept for a Jane Eyre sequel. All that should ever happen in Jane Eyre sequels is Jane running around doing a million useful things while Rochester stays home and pines. A+, completely true to the spirit of the book.
3. the idea of Jane Eyre using her accomplished sketching skills for the purpose of CRIMINAL FORENSICS is, like, the best thing ever. Let's not lie. It's amazing.
...unfortunately, despite all these points in its favor, the book was not particularly good at capturing any kind of sense of Jane Eyre-ness. I feel bad saying that because the introduction explains that Jane Eyre is very personally meaningful to the author. Jane Eyre is personally meaningful to me too! I just do not think Joanna Campbell Slan's personal Jane is much like my personal Jane. This Jane, well....
JANE: Oh look, a letter from Adele! Who has been stuck at school without seeing anyone for over a year due to FIRE AND DOOM plus new baby! ... I am pretty seriously offended she hasn't congratulated me yet on the baby, I cannot IMAGINE why she wouldn't be happy about this.
ADELE, IN A LETTER: AU SECOURS AU SECOURS AU SECOURS!!!
JANE: This is mildly concerning, but probably no big deal? Everyone knows Adele is basically a dramallama.
However even though Adele is PROBABLY just being a dramallama, Jane wanders up to London anyway, where she promptly sees the body of a schoolgirl being carried out of Adele's school.
ADELE'S TEACHER: Heyyyyy yeah so Adele was freaked out about the dead girl so we gave her some laudanum and she's been passed out most of a day? It's cool, it's cool, kids get hysterical about this kind of thing!
JANE, whose backstory trauma is literally ALL ABOUT DEAD SCHOOLGIRLS: Well, all this is startling, but, I mean, you know the French and all! Definitely still not ruling out a plain case of dramallama!
So Jane wanders off again. She makes a new society lady friend. She thinks about pretty clothes, because clothes descriptions are obligatory in historical mysteries. She ponders her new social responsibilities as mistress of the manor and decides she needs to do more charity. Eventually she gets convinced to go undercover as a German teacher to solve the mystery of the dead schoolgirl, so she does that, and then does solve the mystery, which mostly consists of discovering that the victim was a horrible monster that everybody hated, because having us feel sorry for a dead teenager would be too easy, I guess.
At no point in time does she do anything that particularly reminds me of Jane Eyre. But, like, I'm trying not to judge, Jane Eyre fanfiction is super hard to write. I don't think I could pull off the quality of Jane Eyre-ness either! The thing about Jane Eyre -- or at least Jane Eyre as she is meaningful to me -- is that she's fierce and difficult and self-reliant and weird, like, HELLA weird. And how do you throw all that fierce weirdness at the Standard Historical Mystery London and make them interact? It's an interesting question but sadly I do not buy this book as an answer.
