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Mar. 12th, 2016 11:07 amGarth Nix's Newt's Emerald is by far the least substantive book that I have read this year. If what you are looking for is pure fluff with zero emotional stakes - and who among us does not sometimes want pure fluff with zero emotional stakes? - then congratulations, your search is done, I have identified the book for you.
OK, let's see what I have retained about the story in the month since I read this. The plot centers around our Plucky Heroine, Truthful Newington, who is going to London for her first season! and meanwhile, has to pursue a missing magical family heirloom which has been stolen by nefarious evildoers, for reasons.
Upon arriving in London, Lady Truthful's Eccentric Aunt suggests that her best method to pursue this is to cross-dress as her own fake French cousin, because reasons.
(The Eccentric Aunt is, unsurprisingly, the best character in the book. Eventually it is revealed ( spoilers are genuinely delightful )
Anyway, then Truthful, in disguise as her fake French cousin, meets and is befriended by a dashing army captain! who thinks she may be a spy! and also keeps telling her how much he dislikes women, due to reasons. (I can't honestly remember if there is an angsty-past reason why he dislikes women. Probably there is, but if so it is completely unmemorable.)
Then there are some Adventurous High Jinks, and some Misunderstandings, and a Masked Ball, and a Magical Showdown, and everything turns out exactly as you would expect, which is 100% fine. Neither the plot, the characters, nor the worldbuilding have any depth whatsoever, but you know what, did I laugh during the wacky sequence in which Truthful is trapped in a wine barrel with her love interest and desperately attempting to make sure her magical mustache of cross-dressing stays attached? ABSOLUTELY I did.
OK, let's see what I have retained about the story in the month since I read this. The plot centers around our Plucky Heroine, Truthful Newington, who is going to London for her first season! and meanwhile, has to pursue a missing magical family heirloom which has been stolen by nefarious evildoers, for reasons.
Upon arriving in London, Lady Truthful's Eccentric Aunt suggests that her best method to pursue this is to cross-dress as her own fake French cousin, because reasons.
(The Eccentric Aunt is, unsurprisingly, the best character in the book. Eventually it is revealed ( spoilers are genuinely delightful )
Anyway, then Truthful, in disguise as her fake French cousin, meets and is befriended by a dashing army captain! who thinks she may be a spy! and also keeps telling her how much he dislikes women, due to reasons. (I can't honestly remember if there is an angsty-past reason why he dislikes women. Probably there is, but if so it is completely unmemorable.)
Then there are some Adventurous High Jinks, and some Misunderstandings, and a Masked Ball, and a Magical Showdown, and everything turns out exactly as you would expect, which is 100% fine. Neither the plot, the characters, nor the worldbuilding have any depth whatsoever, but you know what, did I laugh during the wacky sequence in which Truthful is trapped in a wine barrel with her love interest and desperately attempting to make sure her magical mustache of cross-dressing stays attached? ABSOLUTELY I did.
