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Thanks entirely to rachelmanija (well, and tumblr, and Lin-Manuel Miranda and Leslie Odom, Jr.; plenty of blame to go around) I just finished reading Volume 1 of The Private Journals of Aaron Burr.

Aaron Burr is, it turns out, a distressingly relatable historical figure. The journal is written while he's in Europe, after having a.) shot Alexander Hamilton b.) attempted to become Emperor of Mexico c.) been tried for treason and d.) been branded a Dangerous Person in just about every part of American and western Europe. Almost none of this is ever referenced in the journal, in which Burr -- fleeing from country to country throughout Europe -- spends most of his time losing his luggage, getting lost, oversleeping and missing appointments, accidentally staying up too late reading trashy literature instead of being productive, misspelling words in foreign languages, and trying (and failing) to stop drinking caffeine. Those of you who check out the Hamilton tags on Tumblr have probably already seen The Zit Saga, The Bedbug Saga, and The Time Burr Accidentally Set Himself On Fire, all of which is fairly representative #tormentsofaaronburr. At one point he is literally put in prison, and what does he worry about? "The only thing that disturbed me was some apprehension about my papers. They have got everything. No plots or treasons, to be sure, but, what is worse, all my ridiculous Journal" -- and, I mean, if I were Burr, and I had just recorded The Zit Saga, I wouldn't want the police getting their hands on it either! Possibly my favorite quote in the whole thing is when Aaron Burr, a 53-year-old former Vice President, after a day of getting lost and spending money stupidly, complains "I want a guardian more than at 15" -- i.e. "HELP, I NEED AN ADULT."

(As various people have noted, Historical Hot Mess Burr does not appear to have a LOT in common with Aaron "Talk Less, Smile More; I Am The One Thing In Life I Can Control" Burr from Hamilton. However, I have to admit, I get about 10x as much delight in Hamilton's Burr -- and I already got a LOT of delight in Hamilton's Burr -- when I imagine that the whole REASON he has adopted his policy of Constant Outer Smoothness is because on the inside he's constantly panicking over having accidentally left all his important documents for a meeting in his other coat.)

The journals are addressed to Burr's daughter Theodosia, and meant to be an amusing record for her of his adventures. Burr's editor does some scandalized pearl-clutching about this fact -- "it is simply inconceivable that a father who loved and respected a daughter as Burr loved and respected Theodosia could have written for her perusal many of the things contained in his journal!" says the introduction -- because Burr also uses the journals as a way of keeping track of the money he is spending unwisely on everything, including Amorous Adventures, of which there are MANY. Aaron Burr appears to be of the firm belief that if someone solicits you for sex, it's extremely rude to turn them down: "In the evening, to my great surprise, and uninvited, tapped gently at my door Tempe. You know I never disappoint people if I can help it and so T. was not dismissed; 4 rix dollars."

This is a fairly representative sample, except usually he writes about his Amorous Adventures in bad abbreviated French, which his poor editor then has to crankily decipher. rachelmanija has recorded the poor editor's process of losing his mind over Burr's terrible spelling, handwriting, and personal habits up here. It is HIGHLY WORTH A READ. Rachel is generally doing a bang-up job collecting all the funniest parts of the journal, so for more details please go over there.

That said, there are other parts when I find myself having some genuine human non-hilarity feelings about old Aaron Burr, mostly because, whatever else you can say about him as a person, the way he writes to his daughter in the journals is flat-out adorable and also deeply sad, because he misses her so much! Imaginary Theodosia is his conscience and his confidante, and he's clearly having a constant conversation with her in his head. The one thing he totes with him all over Europe is Theodosia's portrait; he buttonholes everybody he can find and makes them admire it, and gets incredibly cranky if they don't compliment it loudly enough. He's 100% one of those dads -- which is funny, but also incredibly sad when you know that Theodosia is actually going to die en route to see him before they ever meet again! "Passed an hour looking at your picture," Burr writes, at one point. "I was exceedingly struck and alarmed to see it pale and faded. Why was not this perceivable before? Perhaps may arise from being placed among his portraits, which are very high coloured. Yet the impression that it is faded is fixed on my mind, and has almost made me superstitious." GUYS, THIS IS NOT A LITERARY FORESHADOWING DEVICE. IT'S REAL PEOPLE AND I'M SAD. ;___;