(no subject)

[skygiants]

It Sucks To Be Me: Dark Is Rising Remix

BRAN
Morning, Da!

OWEN
Hi, Bran bachgen.

BRAN
How’s life?

OWEN
Disappointing.

BRAN
What’s the matter?

OWEN
My favorite sheep took sick.

BRAN
Oh, I’m sorry!

OWEN
Me too! I’m twenty years out of adolescence and I always thought –

BRAN
What?

OWEN
No, it sounds stupid.

BRAN
Come on!

OWEN
When I was younger, I thought I would be –

BRAN
What?

OWEN
A loving husband
To a girl who loved me.
But now I’m bitter, reclused
And you can see –
I’m not.

BRAN
Nope!

OWEN
Oh well.
It sucks to be me.

BRAN
Noooo.

OWEN
It sucks to be me.

BRAN
No!

OWEN
It sucks to be single, stuck with sheep and God and industry –
It sucks to be me.

BRAN
Oh, you think your life sucks?

OWEN
I think so.

BRAN
Your problems aren’t so bad!
I’m kind of clever
And pretty damn cool.

OWEN
You are, Bran!

BRAN
Thanks!
I’m ten times awesome-er than kids in my school!
And even Old Ones
Think I’m nobody’s ffwl
So why
Did my mother leave me?
Fuck! It sucks to be me.

OWEN
Me too!

BRAN
It sucks to be me.

OWEN
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Owen . . .

BRAN
And Bran

OWEN
To not have a wife

BRAN
To not have a mom!

BOTH
It sucks to be me.

BRAN
Hey, Will, Mr. Lyon, can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?

MERRIMAN
Ah, certainly.

BRAN
Whose life sucks more? Father’s or mine?

MERRIMAN AND WILL
Ours!

MERRY
We’re both immortal.

WILL
We’re wise as people can get.

MERRY
He’s been the best of Old Ones
Ever since the day we met.

WILL
So we keep saying things that make folks really upset!

BRAN
Yeah - every day is an aggravation.

WILL
Come on, that’s an exaggeration!
We’re still the white hats;
Our battles ought to be won.

MERRY
But when the Dark is rising,
Ruthless things have to be done.

WILL
And feeling like the bad guy’s
Really not fun. It’s hell.

MERRY
Yes, it’s true.
That’s why I’m
In hell too.
It sucks to be me.

WILL
No, it sucks to be me.

OWEN
It sucks to be me.

BRAN
It sucks to be me.

ALL
Is there anybody here it doesn’t suck to be?
It sucks to be me.

BLODWEN
Why you all so happy?

MERRIMAN
Because our lives suck!

BLODWEN
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly?
HA.
I coming to the Dark side
For opportunities.
Then I have got to be a farmwife.
You call that power? Please.
But then I sneak
And ruin your lives with ease
Through Caradog!
Because I’m a Rider!
But I love my husband!
Because I am the part that I play –
So, cariad, just let me say –
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-suck!
It suck to be me!

WILL
Excuse me?

OWEN
Hey there.

WILL
Sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for a few Signs.

BLODWEN
Why you looking all the way out here?

WILL
Well, I started way back in England, but the filk works better with the Welsh folk. So this neighborhood looks a lot nicer!

MERRY
You need to talk to the Walker. Let me get him.

WILL
Great, thanks!

MERRY
Yo, Walker!

HAWKIN
I’m comin’! I’m comin’!

WILL
Oh my god, you’re bright-eyed Hawkin!

HAWKIN
Yes I am!
I’m laughing Hawkin
From Miss Grey’s Christmas ball.
The Old Ones risked my life
And when I heard, I took a fall!
Now I’m cursed, and for the record I hate you all –
But I’m here!
The Sign-holding Walker!
So let the Dark rise –

ALL
It sucks to be you!

BRAN
You win!

ALL
It sucks to be you!

OWEN
I feel better now.

HAWKIN
Try having people stopping you to tell you:
“You must obey the Old Ones now, Walker!”
It gets old.

ALL
It sucks to be you.
Sucks to be me!
Sucks to be you!
Sucks to be us
And now the Dark is rising . . .

Comments

[fire-and-a-rose.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

[fahye.livejournal.com]

*SCREAMS*

Can't...breathe...

I don't want to know how long that took you, Becca.

[theravenboy]

Ok, I just switched logins just so I could use this icon.

Also, I love you passionately.

[rowanberries.livejournal.com]

....


*Presents internet wordlessly*

[oneechan19.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeeee!!!

[ashen_key]

*is ded. so so so so ded*

[saphyria.livejournal.com]

Can't... breathe...

*dies*

[adiva_calandia]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHUT

BECCA

I LOVE YOU

FULL STOP

*falls over dead*

[genarti]

...

...

*weakly* Okay, win.

*giggling madly*

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

HEEEEEEEEE!

WIN.

[bronze-ribbons.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. * applauds and saunters away to rec*

[busaikko]

* waits to stop wheezing *

Brilliant! Insane, but brilliant!

[tinuviel8994.livejournal.com]

Uhmmm... hi! I've friended you! Is that okay? (I was/am Roger-mun.) :D

[skygiants]

Of course it's okay! *beams and goes to friend back* Although I fear I will be sadly disappointing/uninteresting.

(Don't worry, I know who you are. - uh, that was not meant to sound sinister.)