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Sep. 15th, 2012 11:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsThis is a meme Izzy did on tumblr. But I hate doing meme things on tumblr and LJ/DW is still my one true social media love! Also I find coming up with completely ridiculous summaries for fics I will never write hilarious. SO:
Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School/College AU
(Fair warning, it's almost certainly gonna be title and summary, not fic-snippets, because I do not have time for actual writing things that aren't a.) novel or b.) due in the next month.)
Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination (i.e. write a snippet from the story or write not!fic or tell you the title and summary for the story I would write)
1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School/College AU
(Fair warning, it's almost certainly gonna be title and summary, not fic-snippets, because I do not have time for actual writing things that aren't a.) novel or b.) due in the next month.)
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 05:16 am (UTC)Haruhi is cross-dressing for convenience of travel and ends up backstage at a performance; she trips and accidentally drops something on Tamaki and he has to sit out a performance, and she gets yanked in to replace him. (At this point it is more bother than it's worth to argue.) She is comically terrible, because Haruhi cannot act . . . which the audience finds completely hilarious and assumes the performance is a comedy! Also she is a super good-looking boy. CONGRATULATIONS, HARUHI, YOU ARE PART OF THE TROUPE. Haruhi needs the money so she is not going to argue, even though women are forbidden from acting in Kabuki theater! CUE COMEDY HIJINKS as the troupe attempts to disguise the fact that a.) Haruhi is a girl and b.) Haruhi cannot act or sing or dance for beans.
For added drama, Kyouya and Tamaki both have parents who perform SRS BSNS NOH THEATER and who are extremely disapproving that their sons have chosen to embrace this more vulgar commoner's art form. Kyouya's secret plan:
1. get his theater to be ten times as popular as his father's
2. get the shogun to fall passionately in love with one of his actors. Any one will do!
3. single-handedly elevate Kabuki theater to the cultural status of Noh theater
4. PROFIT
And then history goes wildly AU, because historically the shoguns all pretty much consistently gave kabuki theater the serious side-eye, but what is history when weighed against the persuasive scheming power of Ohtori Kyouya?
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 05:58 am (UTC)okay so you know, given the way these things work in Capital Scandal, there is no actual particular reason for them to fake being married. It's just like an assassination in the next city over or something, sometime in between episodes 14 and 15 or so, and Lee Su Hyun is like "well, Cha Song Joo, I want you to crossdress and travel to this place to assassinate that person, Geun Duk will go as your backup and you can be his fake son."
And Cha Song Joo is like "I'm sorry, but Geun Duk cannot possibly be spared for a long trip away from the courtesan house at the same time that I'm gone, he needs to be my alibi that I was there the whole time. So either I am going to go alone with no backup, or you are going to have to come with me. And do you know what happens to assassins who go to the next town over without backup? THEY GET STABBED."
And Lee Su Hyun is like "Well, all right, I suppose I will book two rooms at an inn."
And Cha Song Joo shakes her head sadly, all, "didn't Geun Duk tell you? THE REVOLUTION does not have the funds for two rooms. If we don't share a hotel room I am sorry to tell you we will be instantly bankrupted and have no money for ammunition. I am afraid we are just going to have to pretend to be married, there is no way around it. Unfortunate but what can you do! ^___^"
And then Cha Song Joo gets an enormous kick out of calling him 'dear' and 'darling' all the way up, and they get up to their room, and at some point in the game of ironic-distancing-romantic-chicken Lee Su Hyun accidentally-on-purpose ends up proposing for real?
And Cha Song Joo turns him down because her role as a courtesan is too useful for them and unexpected sads on a cracky adventure, but then they have sex anyway, AS WAS CHA SONG JOO'S PLAN ALL ALONG. And also kill that guy they were planning to kill. It's a very productive trip!
When they get back Geun Duk takes one look at them and is really really glad he didn't go.
(no subject)
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Date: 2012-09-16 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:34 am (UTC)/capslock
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 06:42 am (UTC)The thing is, it wouldn't just be Nice and Jacuzzi and an accidental baby, it would be Nice and Jacuzzi AND Nick and Donny and Chane and accidental-baby-acquisition, and Claire as that creepy uncle you really . . . don't want . . . to hold the baby . . . because his hands still have blood all over them . . .
Jacuzzi freaks out about this. Jacuzzi freaks out about A LOT of things.
They actually found the baby in the middle of a booze delivery that they were supposed to be selling. And Jacuzzi alternates between WE HAVE TO GET HER BACK TO HER PARENTS and WHAT KIND OF PARENTS ACCIDENTALLY PUT THEIR BABY IN A WINE CRATE.
But actually Jacuzzi turns out to be better with the actual baby than Nice is! Nice is super awkward with the baby at first; Jacuzzi gets surprisingly authoritative when he's holding the baby, and is able to tell everyone to shhh because the baby is sleeping with no problems. It's only when the baby's in the crib and fast asleep and they are actually trying to plan for what to do about her that Jacuzzi starts freaking out.
Nick and Donny adore the baby and really, really want to keep her. Nice is the big proponent of Finding The Parents, until they actually meet the parents. Then she's like, "Okay, we are DEFINITELY keeping the baby." Then when they're out with the baby Nice and Jacuzzi get so used to people assuming they're married that they kind of forget they never actually did get married.
(Isaac and Miria are sorrowful and disappointed when they hear about all this. "You should have TOLD us you wanted a baby!" they say, reproachfully. "We saw an absolutely beautiful matched set just yesterday, just sitting there!")
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-23 12:32 am (UTC)So obviously this all happens when Ludovic and Eustacie decide to take it into their head to rescue one of Eustacie's childhood friends from the French Revolution!
. . . this goes about as well as you would expect, and Tristram and Sarah resignedly set sail for France after them. Not, however, alas, ventre a terre.) They find that Ludovic has already been thrown in jail and Eustacie is about to cross-dress to attempt a rescue; Tristram goes to sort everything out and leaves the task of distracting Eustacie to Sarah. Obviously, then, Sarah immediately starts to exclaim that this is a wonderful idea and she would quite like to attempt it herself, puts on a pair of Tristram's breeches, and proceeds to get Eustacie thoroughly lost on an Adventurous! Tour! of Paris!
Unfortunately, just as Tristram has quietly got Ludovic released, Eustacie comes running up hysterically to say that Sarah has been captured and thrown into women's prison. Ludovic is all "WE MUST DISGUISE OURSELVES TO SNEAK INTO THE PRISON TO RESCUE HER!" Tristram promptly goes running off ventre a terre (of course!) to the prison, accompanied by a cross-dressing Ludovic. (Ludovic is very comfortable at wearing Sarah's gowns.) He is on the verge of punching out the first person he sees there when who should turn up but Sarah, still in her breeches. The whole thing has, of course, been a misunderstanding on Eustacie's part, and Sarah is rather embarrassed about it, but not so embarrassed that she's not going to mock Tristram for the rest of his days.
Tristram, who was not exactly in on the cross-dressing distraction plan to begin with, is torn between being relieved, scandalized, embarrassed, resigned, and uncomfortably turned on. Sarah's okay with all of that! END FIC. :D
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 07:05 am (UTC)So it only makes sense to pretend to be married! Especially since Yoko is so distinctive-looking, and hiding her hair helps, but pretending to be married to a totally ordinary-looking person like Rakushun helps a lot more.
And usually Rakushun is person-shaped when they're doing this, because people know about Yoko's rat minister, but there's that one time when they've been hearing unpleasant rumors about anti-hanjuu prejudice, and then Rakushun is her rat husband for the rest of the trip and if anyone gives them crap Yoko unleashes a world of righteous anger.
. . . . this is all backstory for the real meat of the fic, though, which is that one time that Yoko and Rakushun are way too busy to go, and so they send Keiki and Suzu on the MOST AWKWARD FAKE MARRIED TRIP EVER instead. Hijinks ensue! Keiki hates his life.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 01:16 pm (UTC)(Rebecca is not in on this plan per se, but Rebecca has tried variations on this plan before and knows it never works. But who is she to stomp all over Winry's naive dreams? Besides, it's funny to watch her try.)
Four drinks later, Riza is still looking completely serene and Maria has gone home and Rebecca is holding forth with unintelligible dirty stories and Winry is giggling nonstop into her cocktails over obscure automail-related puns and has pretty much forgotten what her original purpose was. And they all have work the next day, so Riza makes sure everyone else gets into cabs going home, and then gets into a cab herself and pretty much immediately falls fast asleep in the back seat. It's not that she wasn't drunk! It's just that nobody could tell.
(no subject)
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Date: 2012-09-16 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 01:30 pm (UTC)Like, the only way I can actually conceive of writing this is if it's some kind of mass body-swapping plague that strikes throughout the Baccano! universe. Everything is in mass chaos and confusion, because Eve Genoard is suddenly the head of the Gandor family, and Jacuzzi in Chane's body can't speak to tell anybody what's going on but the bouts of sobbing give everybody a clue, and Chane meanwhile has a voice for the first time in years but doesn't know what to do with it, and Rachel is really not thrilled to find herself impersonating New York's deadliest contract killer, and Czeslaw finally has a grown-up body and isn't sure he wants to find a way to give it back . . .
Anyway, ALL OF THIS, and Isaac and Miria are bopping throughout dispensing sage advice, Isaac-and-Miria-style, and it's only at the very end that it's revealed that a.) the whole thing is their fault to begin with (they just thought the five-million-fold curry they stole would give everyone's meal a pleasant kick!) and b.) they've been in each other's bodies the whole time and did not actually notice.
(no subject)
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From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 06:04 am (UTC)...or baby acquisition, actually. YOUR CHOICE.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 02:11 pm (UTC)I have an amazing idea for baby acquisition that I CAN'T DO without spoiling you to hell and gone, so . . . high school AU it is!
Rowan is captain of the science club; Bel is a transfer student who quickly gravitates towards the fencing club. Despite their differences, they become friends, because Bel thinks everything about this school is completely weird and inexplicable, and Rowan enjoys the experience of trying to answer her questions. It's interesting to her to look at school customs through a stranger's eyes and examine her own assumptions.
And it's not like Rowan and the science club haven't been noticing some things about this school that bother them anyway! In fact, they have something of a feud with the school administrators, who are notoriously secretive and whose refusal to answer perfectly reasonable questions is getting more and more unnerving. Like: why do students occasionally disappear without a trace? What really happened in that burned-down school building, and why was there no investigation? Why does the school keep no records? How exactly are the student council elected? And why do all the scraps of information they can find say something about an apocalypse . . .?
Using the powers of reason, research and logic, Rowan is sure she can find out the answer to these questions, while also keeping up her GPA and maintaining a budding romance with a white-haired fellow student. But Bel's beginning to suspect that for all his charm, Mamiya may be an administrative plant . . . and when the chairman himself comes to take Rowan for a ride in his car, there may be no recourse except to fight the duel called Truth.
(no subject)
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Date: 2012-09-16 06:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 04:46 am (UTC)Although of course that leads straight into the story of her epic battle with Greed, who is SO MAD at Queen Bradley for killing her and all her dudes. Money, fame, power, boys, girls, eternal life -- Greed wants it all! That Princess of the Yao clan she's sharing her body with is a pretty okay lady, actually, but she thinks too small. Why settle for ruling Xing when you can rule the whole world? You gotta get greedier than that. (And it's not like that Chang clan kid is any competition, please, he's too busy mooning over that Valkyrie armor to even notice.)
. . . and now I'm suddenly really sad, because dude!Lust taking care of his little sister Gluttony is an unexpectedly adorable mental image, and doomed to end in inevitable tragedy. :(
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 09:37 am (UTC)Or or or Yankumi and Shin, crossdressing!
no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 03:52 pm (UTC)at the Middleman headquarters!
And Ida is all "DO I LOOK LIKE A BABYSITTER?" and Wendy is like ". . . yeah, the terrible kind all the kids hate who makes you eat disgusting things like eggplant meatloaf." And Ida is like ". . . . either way I am not babysitting."
And the Middleman says "perhaps Lacey could . . ."
And before he can even finish the sentence, Wendy is like "NOPE. That's not happening."
So for a day they take the baby out on evil-fighting hijinks with them, and to convey what that's like I need a visual aid:
And after a hard day of one-handed fighting, the Middleman is like ". . . this is too risky." And Wendy is like, "YOU THINK?"
But Noser is busy so they have no choice except to get PIP to babysit.
Pip recites "Hey Mr. God" to the baby to get it to go to sleep . . . and the baby repeats it BACK to Wendy and the Middleman when they pick the baby up that night. Which is the key they need to figure out that it isn't actually a human baby, it belongs to an alien species known for its terrible metaphysical poetry! The baby was abandoned because it had not shown any aptitude. :(
Wendy is like "so if we let the abandoned baby demonstrate its new learnings, they are clearly going to want to take the kid back," but the Middleman is like "NO, Dubby. You above all should know that if there's one thing that there is no moral gray area to compromise with, it's plagiarism!" And Wendy is like "but . . . I mean, come on, it doesn't count if it's Pip."
But the Middleman stands firm, so eventually they locate the anti-terrible-poetry alien underground and deliver the baby to them. Meanwhile, Wendy suggests to Pip that he record a copy of his poem and deliver it to an underground distributor of poetry appreciators and he becomes a HUGE SENSATION. On Juno V. Happy ending for all!
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-23 12:59 am (UTC)Instead it would be about that time that Toph has gotten thrown in jail for pulling her Blind Bandit trick (again) (it was for a good cause!) (for . . . plot reasons) and Sokka saunters in to pretend to be her husband and bail her out. What Sokka does not know is that being in jail was actually all part of Toph's plan (she needed to be undercover! for . . . plot reasons) and she's SUPER ANNOYED that Sokka has thrown a wrench into the works, since, OBVIOUSLY she could have earthbended herself out if she needed to get out.
So in order to get revenge, a few week's later when Sokka is at the bar having a night out, Toph pops up and announces that SHE IS HIS WIFE and she's TAKING HIM HOME RIGHT NOW. Somehow this ends in a bar brawl. (It always in a bar brawl.) Sokka is annoyed; Toph finds it hilarious. Anyway, eventually this becomes a running joke and they spend the next thirty years trying to out-spouse-prank each other, culminating in Sokka writing an epic poem to his fake wife that leaves all of Republic City trying to guess who it is and Sokka and Toph howling with laughter for a week.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-29 03:17 am (UTC)1. post-canon
2. with Hawkeye
3. invoking my personal headcanon of Hawkeye and Mustang very carefully never having had ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT over the past six years, because too many feelings!
So actually I suspect that in this particular actual first something-actually-romantic -- whatever that actually was -- the fact that Mustang is a virgin would come up as a wry side comment, Hawkeye would raise her eyebrows and make a deadpan response, and then it would never come up again because that is in fact the very least of the list of backstory considerations that are potentially relevant to their first night together.
. . . which actually would be pretty refreshing! :D
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-29 05:44 am (UTC)I mean, it would all begin with Maewen trying to teach Mitt and Moril how to play Truth or Dare one night when they're on their awkward road trip and they're all in a silly mood, and Mitt and Moril don't totally get the game and they all just end up daring each other to do sillier and sillier things, like steal Navis' stuff out of his pack (like that ever goes well) and Maewen's like YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, you're supposed to TELL EACH OTHER THINGS but as soon as it comes to actual questions everything gets unsurprisingly awkward and Mitt and Moril both shut down and Maewen feels rotten for ruining the mood and doesn't bring it up again . . .
. . . but the phrase sticks in Mitt's and Moril's heads, both, and Mitt uses it a bunch of times -- at least once with Hildy, and Hildy is like I'LL DARE ANYTHING and storms off without revealing any feelings, and at least one other time when facing down a possible traitor, and giving him the choice of confession or punishment -- and Moril, much later (and probably when he's annoyed at Mitt) writes a song about the lengths people will go to when they're trying to avoid confronting unpleasant facts about themselves. "Truth or dare" features heavily in the chorus; it's a great song for the cwidder.
And hundreds and hundreds of years later, the song is a classic in modern Dalemark, and the fic ends with Mitt and Maewen listening to it and thinking about which of the truths they have to say to each other are the same now and which are different, and if a good writer were writing this fic it would be a really great, emblematic moment of the way that the past and the present and future are all comingled -- Maewen bringing the phrase and game back into the past, and Moril sending it forward again into the future -- but because I'm not good enough for that it would probably just be maudlin, which is why I won't actually write this fic. :D
no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 04:22 am (UTC)You get a choice:
HEXWOOD: the clichés that weren't.
OR
FLY BY NIGHT: 2 or 12.
OR
DALEMARK: Crossdressing.