(no subject)

[skygiants]

Downside: after a day which has already included a full-length comedy of travel errors (mostly of my own doing), I am currently grounded in Minneapolis. Also, for the icing on the cake, I broke my shoe. :(

Upside: I think I spoke reasonably eloquently at my conference presentation this morning, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, Minneapolis airport has wi-fi! TEN POINTS TO MINNEAPYFFINDOR. So I'm gonna use the time to write up How Much For Just The Planet, because it's impossible to be as cranky as you otherwise might be when you remember that a Star Trek novel exists that literally just consists of the TOS cast and a bunch of Klingons being flung directly into a musical episode.

The plot of How Much For Just The Planet theoretically involves the Klingons and the Federation competing for a planet full of resources, but the inhabitants of the planet see this serious business Star Trek plot coming a mile away and just decide they are going to NOPE STRAIGHT OUT OF IT. "How can we get rid of the interstellar politics headed our way? Easy! WE WILL CONFUSE AND IRRITATE THE HECK OUT OF THEM UNTIL THEY LEAVE."

This launches everybody into a highly choreographed series of HIJINKS, designed for the mockery of the visitors and entertainment of the locals, who are all HUGE FILM AND DRAMA NERDS, in which:

- Kirk, an Earth diplomat that he used to date, and their rom-com Klingon counterparts embark on an elaborate screwball sequence of fake burglaries and mistaken identities to help a couple of the locals get hitched
- Scotty and Chekhov get into a DUEL with some Klingons that can only be settled the old-fashioned way: with BATTLE GOLF
- Uhura and a film-nerd Klingon, the smartest members of their respective crews, have an incredibly genre-savvy film noir adventure
- McCoy and Sulu get kidnapped by an evil singing pirate queen and have to fight their way out with the help of the pastry cooks

Sorry, did I say 'singing pirate queen?' This is misleading; everything and everyone is singing. EVERYONE. Except of course for the very confused Enterprise team and Klingons, who manage to have a lot of beautiful bonding in their constant mutual confusion and dismay.

In addition to being a loving homage to screwball comedy, the book is also a loving homage to outdated technology; as a film archivist, the in-text educational film delighted my heart and soul.

-- and I knew citing this book would improve the situation! There is now a light on the horizon, and if I am very lucky, there is still a chance I may get back to New York before midnight. Which, all things considered, is not that bad! ONWARDS.

Comments

[ceitfianna]

o.O I need to read this book, it sounds magical.

[skygiants]

MAGICAL IS INDEED THE CORRECT WORD.

[nocarename]

I await this commentary with baited breath.
Also, possibly my own copy out to follow along.

Because singing. And pie.

[skygiants]

Hahaha, alas, I don't think there will be more commentary than this -- people should feel free to make their own voyages of discovery! But I encourage your own reread anyway. For singing, and pie.

[hannah]

The extended list of cameos is a perpetual source of joy.

[skygiants]

I just rediscovered it while writing this post and was delighted all over again!

[cahn]

I love this book so much. SO MUCH. STAR TREK MUSICAL, the way only John M. Ford could do it. SO MUCH LOVE. I love how sometimes, in the best musical tradition, the action will just stop cold and someone will launch into a character aria, while meanwhile the Enterprise/Klingon characters are looking at each other like "...why are all these people INSANE?" (Except for Uhura and Aperokei, of course!)

Ha, I loved the goofy educational film too (and I'm not even a film archivist)!

[skygiants]

I still want a key to all the filk tunes -- I could barely identify any, and I wanted to sing along!

(I know Uhura and Aperokei had to go their own separate ways at the end, but a part of me is still awfully sad those two crazy kids couldn't make it work out!)

[genarti]

I started out reading this post going "OH NOOOOOOOO," and then I was diverted by joy and hilarity! I HOPE YOU ARE ABOUT TO LAND BACK IN YOUR CITY AS I TYPE THIS THOUGH.

I knew it was the Musical Episode Novel, but I didn't realize that the only ones not singing were the Enterprise folks and Klingons, or that the singing was by let's-confuse-them-all prearrangement. That makes way more sense than a musical-number-imposition macguffin. Heeee!

[skygiants]

I AM HOME AND IT IS WONDERFUL I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE AGAIN. My beeeed, never leave me!

It is literally an entire planet of drama nerds with too much time on their hands who have decided to force-create a musical episode. I don't know if that ACTUALLY makes more sense, really, but it's HILARIOUS. And I guess as much in keeping with TOS ideas of how planetary communities work than anything else!

[kd7sov]

Okay, that settles it. I need to get my hands on this book.

...Aaand my library system does not have it. Curses. Someone remind me to check with my dad and the university library tomorrow.

[skygiants]

GOOD LUCK. I was so excited to find that it was available at the Brooklyn Library!

[thistleingrey]

I bought my copy of this book at the Long Beach City College student store and began reading it on a bench while bunnies cavorted on the adjacent lawn (okay, quietly and at bunny speed, but they were happy rabbits). My mother was taking classes, and I had a day off school for some reason. The rabbits suited the book's weird events perfectly . I kind of don't want to know whether I have a first printing (though it's likely)....

[skygiants]

Cavorting bunnies DO suit the weird events perfectly. I mean, cavorting anything, really. It's a book made for cavorting.

[scifantasy]

Notes on things:

The poor Smith crew.

Cameos! Princess DeeDee is Diane Duane, Pete Blackwood is Peter Morwood, Ilen the Magian is Neil Gaiman, Pam is Pamela Dean, Janeka is Janet Kagan, Lieutenant Ann is Ann C. Crispin, and of course, the stage manager is Ford himself.

Note the moment when Scotty sees stars aligning behind a mountain and comments on the ordering of the universe--it's a reference to Paramount taking the reins of Trek.

(This was Ford's second Trek novel, by the way. His first was very different but highly recommended.)

[vass]

I would say "how did I not know that?" but this is John M Ford. There is ALWAYS more stuff you missed.

[skygiants]

THE POOR SMITH CREW. I hope they get some good counseling after all this.

I love all the cameos!

[metaphortunate]

I do not think they'd be able to avoid it. I think there's some Betan style therapy coming their way, frankly.

And it might help.

[hannah]

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and Sergeant Benton pop up during the golf game, as well.

[metaphortunate]

I DID NOT KNOW THAT. Holy shit, I did not think this book could get BETTER.

[bookblather]

Please tell me more about BATTLE GOLF.

(I feel certain that BATTLE GOLF should be typed in all caps. Please do not disabuse me if this is incorrect.)