(no subject)

[skygiants]

This is something I wonder about a lot: what are people's favorite ways to watch things socially? If I sit down with friends and we're like 'let's watch a thing!' my inclination is always to suggest something that I've seen that other people in the group haven't, because I really enjoy watching people watch things for the first time while staring creepily at them out of the corner of my eye to make sure they're laughing at all the good parts. And the first time that I see anything that I super like, my IMMEDIATE next step is to scheme how I can get as many people to watch it with me, as soon as possible. (See: Princess Tutu, and the approximate TEN TIMES with TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE I watched it all the way through in 2009.)

...then if I do that repeatedly I feel selfish because I assume that is other people's favorite way to watch things too, But perhaps it isn't! Obviously I enjoy socially watching things in many ways, but I'm curious about people's preferences. So I made a poll!

Poll #15811 Watching Stuff Socially

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 78

View Respondents

My favorite way to watch things socially is ....

View Answers

Showing something I've seen and like to somebody else who hasn't seen it
21 (26.9%)

Getting somebody else to show me something they've seen and liked
6 (7.7%)

Rewatching something that the whole group has seen and liked and shouting out all the best quotes in unison
6 (7.7%)

Watching something totally new to all of us. A voyage of discovery!
15 (19.2%)

You dingus, why should I pick a favorite, they're all great!
21 (26.9%)

You dingus, why should you assume that my favorite way to watch things socially involves stuff I LIKE?
3 (3.8%)

UGH, I HATE WATCHING THINGS SOCIALLY.
4 (5.1%)

UGH, I HATE WATCHING THINGS, PERIOD.
2 (2.6%)

Comments

[newredshoes]

I like to trade off! Co-introducing to excellent things is an awesome weekend marathon experience. This does make me realize that it's not often that no one in the room has never seen something before, unless we're going to a movie in theaters early in its run, maybe.

[skygiants]

That's true! (I think of movie theaters as sort of a different experience, too.) Well -- it's true of groups, anyway; I do often start watching a series with one other person who hasn't seen it either, which is a very slow but awesome way to get through a thing, accumulating injokes as you go. VOYAGE OF DISCOVERYYYY!

[genarti]

That's true! Trading off, if you have time and the things are short enough, does some to mitigate the "augh but what if I hate their thing" factor for me.

[alias_sqbr]

What I actually enjoy is "we've mostly all seen it but NOBODY SHOUTS QUOTES" because I actually find that annoying. And a few newbies add to the fun, I just feel weird if I'm the ONLY person who's seen it before.

The problem with watching new things socially is that OTHER PEOPLE TALK OVER THE WORDS. At least in homes, social new movies can be lots of fun.

( I seem to be suffering painkiller induced capslock, sorry)

[skygiants]

Haha, I love being the vector for new thing. I mean, there is always the anxiety too of 'WHAT IF EVERYONE ELSE HATES THIS,' but you feel so smug when they don't!

Yeah, that's my problem with watching new things socially too! I mean, I enjoy it a lot ALSO, but I will inevitably miss at least one relevant line and have to be like '...guys....someone please tell me what just happened....' Actually I tend to like watching subtitled stuff with large groups of people best, if it's something I haven't seen before, just because it makes it easier to talk and still not miss stuff.

(No worries, man, I don't even have the excuse of painkillers for my constant capslock!)

[luzula]

Ha, I seem to be just like you in this (I also lend books to people because I really want them to read them).

[skygiants]

ME TOO. I mean, I also reciprocate -- if someone lends me a book, I push it way up in my queue, because I assume someone really wanted me to read it! And I want to clear it and get it back to them. :D

[melannen]

That makes me SO TENSE. Either way,watching something they haven't seen and worrying about whether they like it enough, or watching something I haven't seen and worrying about whether I'm expressing emotion in the right places or they're going to be sad about it. SO MUCH TENSE. AUGH. Especially since I have embarrassment squick so half the time I have to leave the room during the "funny" bits.

And I don't like the shouting quotes version because even if I've seen it before I never know the same quotes and I don't like watching things we don't like because I never dislike the right bits and I don't like watching things socially for the first time for all of us because I'm afraid I'll accidentally ruin the experience for everyone. (see above re: embarrassment squick)

So I guess my favorite ways to watch things socially are a) somebody else picks something we've all seen and like and we have it on in the background while we do something else, or b) going to a movie theater where it's immersive enough that I forget about the other people and they don't notice if I have to hide behind my chair sometimes, and then dissecting it with them afterward. (Occasionally c) somebody shows me something they expect me to dislike and I haven't seen just because they want to watch me dislike it in my own special way. That's a lot less tense-making than being expected to like it.)

/me does not watch well with others

[genarti]

Yeah, I hate feeling like the other person is invested in me liking a thing I might not, or like I can't say "you know, I'm not feeling this, can we switch to something else" because they're beaming at the screen. Or because I think they're beaming at the screen.

If it's something new to all of us, I feel much freer to be visibly not enjoying things, and otherwise open about my reactions. I'm often willing to try something like that, as long as there's a general agreement to not talk over the thing I haven't seen before.

I only don't get stressed watching something I haven't seen that someone else really likes if a) it's someone who knows my taste enough that I trust I'll probably like it reasonably well too (hi skygiants!), or b) I can multitask with my laptop or book, so that I can bury myself in that if I'm hating the movie/episode/whatever (although I'm really not good at tuning out audiovisual stuff except by hyperfocusing on something else, so "multitasking" is going to mean "looking at tumblr," not doing anything brain-requiring), or c) the description of genre and general sensibility means I'm pretty sure I'll be okay with it.

This is why in the "let's watch something! Who wants what?" moments, I'll usually vote for either a non-gritty popcorny action movie of some sort, or sparkly shoujo anime. Fight scenes are my movie version of cotton candy.

[genarti]

WHY IS THIS RADIO BUTTONS

[skygiants]

BECAUSE I'M THE WORST

[thirdblindmouse]

I love rewatching things I like with someone who hasn't seen them before, but only in very specific, very safe circumstances. I have forever sworn off showing comedies I like to anyone, because the pain is just too great if they don't laugh at ALL the right moments, but showing my boyfriend SFF TV shows often results in learning new things to love about them. All other situations have resulted in terrible experiences where I love the movie/show and/or the person I am watching with less. I love recommending things to other people, but I can't be there when they're watching.

[skygiants]

A couple people now have brought up the trust factor involved in rewatching stuff with Liking Expectations involved, which is something I didn't think about super much when creating this poll, but which I think is totally true! Like, there are absolutely people I would not watch certain things with...and without a certain degree of trust, I don't feel comfortable making any kind of recommendation/suggestion. (And there are certain categories of friends I will only watch new stuff with, rather than stuff that I've seen and are recommending, because I want the excuse of 'WELL I DIDN'T KNOW EITHER!' in case something goes horribly wrong. >.>)

[pedanther]

I definitely enjoy watching people watch something that's new to them but which I've seen and enjoyed, but only with a fairly small group of people who I know well enough to be confident that (a) they'll enjoy watching it too and (b) there won't be any expectation weirdness.

Another social watching thing I enjoy is watching detective things with my Dad and discussing our theories about who dun it. (We're both experienced detective fiction readers familiar with meta detecting rules like He's Obviously Guilty So He Must Be Innocent. Once, when we were watching a TV adaptation of an Agatha Christie story I'd never heard of before, I had a lock on the murderer by the end of the first scene, because of the director's choice of camera angle for one shot.)

[skygiants]

Oh man, I love when you can predict the murderer based totally on the camera angle/method of introduction/deliberate attempts at subverting expectation. 'He's flirting with the heroine! HE'S ABSOLUTELY THE KILLER.'

[gramarye1971]

If it's just a random viewing of stuff, I'm generally in the camp of 'Ooh, show me that thing you liked!', because then I do not have to worry that I am imposing my (generally bizarre) media tastes* on someone else. I get weirdly anxious if I think that people aren't enjoying something that I've recommended to them and that we're watching together, because...I don't know, I feel like it reflects on my overall understanding of that person's likes and dislikes, and therefore I start hearing the YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD echoes in my head.

However, if someone expresses a specific interest in seeing a movie or a series that I own, then the onus is on them to like it or not (because they were the ones who asked to see it), and I feel less pressured to have judged their tastes accurately. ^^;;


* Where my possible viewing choices frequently range from North Korean movies to satirical anime series about murderous magical girls to historical Swedish police procedurals.

[melannen]

>>However, if someone expresses a specific interest in seeing a movie or a series that I own, then the onus is on them to like it or not (because they were the ones who asked to see it), and I feel less pressured to have judged their tastes accurately. ^^;;

Oh, yeah, that usually works for me! If one person says "can I watch that thing you like" and other person says "sure but idk if it's something you'll like" and they both mean it, it's minimal pressure on either side.

[sandrylene]

This is difficult for me, principally because I don't watch or consume much media, generally speaking, and recommendations or no, that hasn't changed much in several years.

That said, thing I like sometimes are (in order of preference):
1) Having someone show me something they love
2) Watching something none of us have seen, but we have heard is good
3) Re-watching something we all like together
4) Showing something I like to someone who hasn't seen it

I'm vaguely pro option 4 here, but I have almost nothing to draw on, basically. And with how little I do watch, I'd prefer to see something new and good, than already seen and good, even though it's fun commenting back and forth, etc.

But so yeah, principally the "you've already seen this and there's a good probability I am not wasting my time" or "you have heard good things about this, so similar possibility of it being a good investment of time" is what I prefer. ...Though mostly in principal, because the amount of media I watch per week may add up to an amazing 2 hours on a heavy week, and often the only times I watch media are socially.

[skygiants]

That's pretty much how I feel about books -- I love having people recommend things to me, and 99 books out of 100 I read are probably things I've either seen general or specific recommendations for from people I trust.

...but it's also difficult to share the experience of reading a book in real-time, so maybe I'd feel differently if that were possible! I like socially watching stuff because it's pretty much the only way to effectively share the experience of encountering a story in real-time. Well, OK, I mean, I guess role-play -- written or D&D -- is like that too. So not the only way! BUT SHARING STORIES IS SO GREAT.

[vass]

- Competitive WTF videos from YouTube.

"I see your David Hasselhoff's music video of 'Hooked on a Feeling' and raise you William Shatner's music video of 'Bohemian Rhapsody'."
"I see your Shat and raise you a little Smallville vid called 'I Swear'."
"I fold."

[skygiants]

I'm SO BAD AT THE COMPETITIVE YOUTUBE VIDEOS GAME. I'm always the last one to have seen anything horrific! It's a tragedy. ;__;

[allchildren]

The uneven I've seen/you haven't is awful. Not as bad as listening to music I love with people who haven't heard it -- all I can hear is every flaw and stupid lyric and reason they won't like it -- but waiting for people to react to things in ways that I can't make them do? The reality of that is horrible. I remember showing Avatar S1 to a friend who was more interested in knitting as we went and then showed zero reaction to The Storm/Blue Spirit because she wasn't paying enough attention to notice the reveals. The same friend returned my Princess Tutu DVDs to me UNWATCHED after having them for a year. Ugh. And showing another friend The Fall, getting zero feedback from her, and her later confessing she didn't remember a thing. HORRIBLE. Then there was the time those two friends showed me Ten Things I Hate About You and chattered and laughed the whole way through until I snapped at them to shut up because I couldn't understand why I was supposed to love this movie if I couldn't hear the dialogue.

Then there's the "I loved this, you should watch it apart from me" but between anxiety about people not APPRECIATING TRUE ART LIKE TUTU and scars from Veronica Mars fandom battles, I hate that too.

However: Watching things that are new or beloved to both of us, or beloved to you and new to me and also you're being quiet so I can enjoy it, are the stuff great friendships have been built on. And usually done online. Everyone shut up now thank you bye.

[skygiants]

I love watching stuff online via chat SO MUCH, because you can flail around happily as much as you like and it doesn't interfere with the audio! That was how I did the majority of my 2009 Tutu-pushing, though I was very lucky that it was a 100% successful push because if anybody hadn't been into it I don't know what I would have done.

I haven't done it much recently, most of my distance-viewing has been through Skype, which was weirdly challenging for me at first because having both sounds come through the computer really magnifies the audio issues. I wish our Deep Space Nine files had subtitles. :(

[ghost_lingering]

I am really bad at convincing people to watch something I have already seen and want them to see. D: So I am usually the person who is getting introduced to something new. But I would LIKE to be good at introducing people to stuff I love.

[skygiants]

I'm pretty good at convincing people to see stuff, but I'm always a little worried that I'm steamrollering people into it. WHAT IF I'M HOGGING ALL THE WATCHING DECISIONS? But I worry a lot about being a steamroller in general.

[aberration]

I don't usually want to be around someone the first time they're watching something I have any particular preference for, unless I'm confident they'll like it at all, or they've already started it a bit and like it so I know they're like... watching it of their own volition. Basically I find the watching the them thing really stressful, because if they aren't laughing or otherwise reacting, I'll feel like I wasted their time. This is also why I tend to be really specific in how I recommend things to anyone else. I don't necessarily recommend things I super like. (And let's be real here, the things I super like tend to be things like Revolutionary Girl Utena and Hannibal, and those aren't things you just... blithely recommend...) The time when I most like being the person rewatching is in a movie theater, because all the first timers came there of their own will so I can just enjoy their reactions regardless. (This was an especially fun thing to do with Serenity, because I am a horrible person.)

(I also guess I don't mind lending you books because that can't be done socially, and I feel confident that regardless of your enjoyment level you won't consider reading it a waste of time, so. And I don't deliberately ask you to read terrible things unlike some people.)

I don't mind being the person who's watching for the first time, though, and I like rewatching things with people who have also already seen it (because the it's 100% super acceptable to make stupid comments, and I think you're aware that I really like making stupid comments) or watching things with people for the first time.

[skygiants]

I think part of it for me too is that I don't tend to rewatch stuff on my own very much -- if I'm watching something by myself, it's usually something new, just because of the time commitment and the sheer volume of stuff I HAVEN'T seen -- so watching with other people is also my excuse to rewatch stuff I love in general. Which otherwise I don't do!

(Yeah, I'm pretty much willing to read and consider anything. :) AND I APPRECIATE YOUR RESTRAINT IN THAT MATTER.)

I also love watching series through for the first time with someone else who hasn't seen them either, because then you get to develop hilarious personal headcanon as you go. It's great!

[saramily]

For me, the most important thing is making sure the person(s) watching with me is one the same page.

Like, I have a regular girls only get together where we drink and watch terrible reality tv and everyone know the point is to talk lots, yell at the idiots on screen and give them terrible nicknames, so it's awesome! But I also have a watching buddy for my melodramatic CW show fix where we talk beforehand and then shut up for new eps so we don't miss anything. You can't mix the two.

For showing people stuff I love, I prefer to rec and then see if the person loved it too so there's no high-pressure me watching them watch the screen and no one has to fake reactions or give it a longer chance than they would otherwise.

One weird thing about me - I don't actually love the group watch thing, whether new or old stuff, when it's a group I don't regularly see and we have limited hang out time. If it's a con, a long weekend, etc and people just want chill time with a movie for part of it, great! But if I'm passing through and don't have much time, sometimes watching stuff - new, old, loved, whatever - feels like 'wait, why are we doing this, i could be actually hanging out with you!'

[skygiants]

That is very true! It's important to get a sense of the room and the appropriate ... social behavior ...? for that particular variety of watching.

Ha, I totally get that. Though, conversely, actually that not wanting to waste limited time tends to be the reason I'll sometimes suggest watching stuff. Like if I just have one person staying with me over a weekend, for example -- it's like, if I don't get to see that person very often, I don't want to just shut off at the end of the day and abandon them (unless I specifically know in advance that they're the kind of person who is okay with having mutual quiet internet/reading time) because our time together is so limited. But if we've just spent all day hours running around and talking one on one, I usually don't have the energy to keep up an actual conversation either, so ... let's put a thing on to watch socially and then it still counts as hanging out and I don't have to feel like I'm being a bad host!

And for the record, I will forever treasure the memory of our group High School Musical watch. BEST HANGOUT BONDING TIME EVER.

[attractivegeekery]

I find I enjoy communal consumption of media more after I've seen something once either alone, or with a small group. Unless it's something I'm not entirely invested in, then I don't really care so much.

[skygiants]

I feel like this is a good way for me to get an advance sense of what household watching habits will be like next month! :)

[snippy]

UGH, I HATE RADIO DIAL CHOICES. Because I like all the choices depending on my mood.

[skygiants]

RADIO DIALS ARE THE WORST and so am I. :D?

[sophia_sol]

...hahaha thank you for including an "I HATE WATCHING THINGS" option because...yep that is closest to my feelings on the matter. I mean, I like the idea of watching things! I just can't handle it, most of the time, whether social or otherwise. So I do occasionally watch things socially with people, and even enjoy it, but the situations are relatively rare and specific.

[skygiants]

YOU'RE WELCOME, I was also thinking of you when I made that option. :) Moving images are not for everyone and that's OK!

[damselfish]

I can't watch things with other people if I've seen it before because I'm so self-conscious about something being funny and they're not laughing, or whatever.

Also NO TO THE SHOUTING OF QUOTES. I can't watch Monty Python with other people for this reason. This goes double for if I've never seen it but I don't like it even if we've all seen it. Also my family ended up walking out of Spamalot on Broadway because omg the audience--and not just encouraged shouting of quotes but people shouting "omg I fart in your general direction!" when they walk up to the French castle before it's even said.

[skygiants]

You know, I put that down, but I don't think I've ever been in a social/household setting where people actually shout quotes? Like, talk and make common jokes, yes, but shout quotes, no. I do actually genuinely love the ritualized quote-shouting in some movie theater showings, though; I just think audience interaction and engagement is really cool! I totally get why people would find it annoying, but it warms the cockles of my heart to see people loving stories so much.

[shati]

I like friends showing me stuff, but I legit get nervous watching things people like with people because I don't want to hurt their feelings by not liking the things. What an awful sentence. I'm very tired, how many eyes do you have. But anyway, it always feels like a very gracious present when I get to creepily watch someone watch something I love. Not that like. I'd ever travel out of state to watch friends watch Queen Seondeok. /stares in your window

Separately, one of life's greatest pleasures is watching High School Musical things no one expects to take seriously for the first time with company, when there's an agreement that everyone is going to talk about what the fuck is happening.

[shati]

Also, this looks like the start of a weird classroom activity where everybody gets paired up with someone who gave a complementary response and then watches things...for...science?

[sovay]

My favorite way to watch things socially is ....

The first two options, alternating. The fourth option is also fun.

[skygiants]

If I am watching something new doing it with someone else is my favorite way to do it! It's not nearly as fun without someone to bounce reactions off of.

[likeadeuce]

I tend to find showing things I've liked to other people STRESSFUL. What if they don't like it???

So I picked 'new to everybody' as the most fun.

[skygiants]

I've been surprised to see how many people find it stressful! I mean, I also find it stressful, but for me the fun/satisfaction factor of having the excuse to watch it again + vicarious new reactions outweighs the stress, for me.

[innerbrat]

I hate watching things on my own. I HAVE to watch things with someone else. The only time I'll watch something on my own is if I have someone to report on (HI MULTIPLE EMAILS TO VERONICA)

My favorite is watching something new to both of us because we can find the things to make fun of together. I'm watching something I love that they're new to, if I can make fun of it with them even if I like the thing.

Watching something they like that they think I will like is okay, too. Cause it turns out I like everything my friends like.

Basically, I have great friends and they're always trustworthy.

[skygiants]

YES. Developing mutual injokes over the course a long thing is the best. :D

However, it is also true that your friends have excellent taste. *serene*