(no subject)

[skygiants]

Here is a terrible confession: if I had enough power over the television networks to make one show based on a book series come into existence -- one and only one! -- ... it would be Kage Baker's Company series.

Yes, OK, I know, but there are so many vids I want to exist, and you have to admit, it would be pretty. It would be so pretty! And every season could be a different time period -- season one would be Elizabeth England, season two nineteenth-century California, season three early Hollywood (I'm eliding the season of pre-Columbian America because I wouldn't trust the producers not to screw it up) -- and everything would be gorgeous costumes and conscious anachromisms, and we could have Oona Chaplin (with red hair) as Mendoza, and Naveen Andrews as Joseph, and Samuel Barnett as Lewis, and Alfie Enoch as Nicholas/Edward/Alec, and yes, I know that in the books Nicholas/Alec/Edward is white but honestly given that the villains make it a huge point to make sure he grows up feeling different and isolated and like he has massive amounts to prove in every incarnation there is no actual reason on God's earth why he should be white, I'll fight you on this, the only really important factors are that he is British and extremely good-looking but also so tall as to look kind of uncomfortably distorted, all of which factors Alfie Enoch epitomizes, and maybe if Edward Alton Bell-Fairfax didn't literally epitomize the Victorian British white male patriarchy in every possible way I would feel less of an urge to punch him in the face at every opportunity! Who knows!

...anyway the most important thing about this hypothetical television show that I would conjure into existence is that it would VERY DEFINITELY tragically cancelled after the fourth season, with all the main mysteries unresolved! TOO BAD, HOW SAD, I guess fandom will just have to fill the gap and no one ever needs to remember the horrible Nicholas/Edward/Alec/Mendoza orgy of messianic incest EVER AGAIN.

So that's my confession. The 98% of you who have never read any Kage Baker books are now blinking at me in total incomprehension but 2% of you, 2% of you understand, right? (I'm still not rereading them though. Not yet. I'LL CAVE SOMEDAY but in the meantime I will stave off that day as long as possible with incoherent public rants.)

What about you guys, if you had the power to bring one television show into existence, what would it be?

Comments

[musesfool]

I realize this is a ridiculously cliched answer, but Sandman. On HBO. But without Eric Kripke involved. With actual good people handling it, and, as much as I find his face repellent, Benedict Crumplesnatch as Morpheus. Because that would just be excellent casting. And Nicole Beharie as Death.

My other stock answer is Gotham Central, as overseen by David Simon. Also on HBO. And ONE MILLION times better than the awful mess "Gotham" is.

If not that, then a Blue Beetle (v3) show with Tyler Posey as Jaime Reyes. This keeps almost existing but not quite, and I just want Jaime, Paco, Brenda, Milagro, and Khaji Da to have teevee adventures.

Oh, also Peter Grant! Though i've heard rumors that's actually happening.

[skygiants]

I never got much into the Sandman thing, but Nicole Beharie would be an amazing Death.

...I'd trade all that for the Tyler Posey Blue Beetle show in a red hot minute, though. I'd probably trade the Peter Grant show, too, though, I mean, if it ends up happening I super won't complain!

[bookblather]

I will pay SO MUCH for Nicole Beharie as Death. SO MUCH.

(Hiddles for Morpheus, maybe? He's less of a pain and he does have the sort of dreamy coloring. ooh or Ben Whishaw.)

[aberration]

I'm still going to go with live action Utena. Somehow.

(Also I know that's not a book series, but that wasn't in the question in the very end and I... haven't read that many... book series... And also of any I have read my answer would still be live action Utena.)

[skygiants]

YOU KNOW MY FEELINGS ON LIVE ACTION UTENA.

[ashen_key]

Honor Harrington. Military sci-fi based roughly on the Napoleonics with a canonically half-Chinese lead and TONS OF AWESOME LADIES?

Yes. That. Please :D :D

And an adaptation can fix the various points of fail!

[skygiants]

The key is to always pick something that has various points of fail to fix! So much more fun to think about that than all the ways that an adaptation of something genuinely amazing is bound to be horrific.

[wakeupnew]

I want a Heroes of Olympus series, which would probably have to be a weirdly serialized cartoon because of the special effects requirements, but I still really want it!!!

[skygiants]

Oh my God, Lexie, did you see the fake Heroes of Olympus anime opening that was going around tumblr a few weeks back? IT WAS AMAZING, I genuinely wanted that show.

[gogollescent]

Unfortunately I think my answer for this is... "a Game of Thrones anime"

[gogollescent]

WAIT. ALSO. I genuinely want, like, HBO Lymond. Showtime Lymond. --Telenovela Lymond. Because what I love most in the world is kicking myself repeatedly in the head!

[graycardinal]

This is easy -- I hire Greg Weisman to bring back Gargoyles.

[skygiants]

Picking shows that already existed is cheating! Top television necromancy candidates is an entirely different question.

[rymenhild]

Also, Nicholalec canonically has a whole lot of Neanderthal genes because he's related to the Enforcers. And... well, the Enforcers really shouldn't be white either, given the history of homo sapiens and homo neanderthalensis.

Anyway, the showrunners would obviously decide that they didn't want to go to the fridging place or the incest place, and the show would go AU immediately after the introduction of Alec. Or maybe even before. Alec, who needs him?

I'm not sure what I want as a TV show, but if I could request a film (as long as the directors promise to do it right!!!!), I vote for Code Name Verity.

[skygiants]

The Enforcers are definitely not white! And Joseph Imhotep 'Yeah I Blend In Just Fine In Egypt Or Spain Or Wherever, Why Do You Ask?' should never be cast as white.

I think a television show could do all right by Alec (especially with Bambi-eyed Alfie Enoch or someone similarly charming making him palatable), and a good director could have a lot of fun contrasting the bleak future aesthetic with all the lushness of the historical past, but, I mean, we also could skip it entirely. That would be OK too.

I'd be too afraid to ask for Code Name Verity! Even in the version where I got to control every aspect of it. I would screw it up. I am 100% certain of this.

[aquamirage]

I didn't understand any of this but anything that brings Naveen Andrews back on TV on an actual quality show, I am all for.

I tend to think of it more as a movie, but I obviously think a lot about live-action Planetes, with Levi Schreiber and Zoe Saldana and maybe Michelle Rodriguez and [I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH JAPANESE ACTORS TO FINISH THIS SENTENCE].

[skygiants]

Oh, man, Meredith, someday I will definitely gift you with my rant about the Company books. AWAIT THAT DAY, for it will be ... terrible ... terrible is probably the word.

ZOE SALDANA IN LIVE-ACTION PLANETES THOUGH. What a beautiful mental image.

[melannen]

If comics count, I still want Young Avengers done as a sitcom (or soap opera I guess) set in Billy & Teddy's first apartment together.

[skygiants]

I want so many sitcom superhero shoes! I'm still mad that Agents of Shield is never going to be what I have always wanted it to be, namely, The Office in a world with superheroes.

[jothra]

I want an epic fantasy TV show that is not on HBO. Something Tamora Pierce? Lois McMaster Bujold's Sharing Knife? Heck, I'd even take a Mercedes Lackey. I want some high-budget fantasy that isn't all T&A.

CROWN DUEL. I want the Crown Duel tv show. Season one: rebellion. Season two: ROMANCE.

[graycardinal]

There's a thought. And Smith's Dobrenica series (starting with Coronets and Steel would be a lot of fun to adapt, too -- it could be done well, I suspect, by some of the folks who are producing for the more interesting BBC subchannels.

[bookblather]

Vorkosigan series with Peter Dinklage as Miles.

Like, I am serious. I would kill for this. I need Peter Dinklage as Miles to be in my life. I NEED IT OKAY. And Alfie Enoch as Gregor, because he has that sort of sweet vague look overlaying steel. And also because Alfie Enoch should be in everything.

[skygiants]

Aw, Alfie Enoch would be such an adorable Gregor I don't even care about the age difference between him and Peter Dinklage! Peter Dinklage can look young anyway. IT'S FINE.

(Steven Yeun as Ivan?)

[lacewood]

If I had the power to will a TV show into existence I would FORCE THE UNIVERSE TO MAKE A THIRD SEASON OF BOSS, THAT'S WHAT.

But if that's cheating by the rules of the game, I wish to place my bets on a Chrestomanci TV series, but only if it's full of one million Chrestomanci castle office bureaucracy hijinks, three million ridiculous nightgowns and the seven times Christopher got summoned while in the bath. And MILLIE. ALL THE MILLIE AND CAT AND THE KIDS.

[lacewood]

WAIT, MY ALTERNATIVE VOTE GOES TO DIDO TWITE: THE TV SERIES. Every book can be its own mini season! Most badass pre-teen saver of the crown in history! WESTMINISTER ON ROLLER SKATES. WHAT WOULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

[sovay]

Oona Chaplin (with red hair) as Mendoza

I like her; I'd watch it.

Naveen Andrews as Joseph

Yes.

Samuel Barnett as Lewis

Huh. Wow. Who is that and where did you find him?

Alfie Enochas Nicholas/Edward/Alec

Works for me. I repeat my question.

TOO BAD, HOW SAD, I guess fandom will just have to fill the gap and no one ever needs to remember the horrible Nicholas/Edward/Alec/Mendoza orgy of messianic incest EVER AGAIN.

. . . I drifted away from the series after The Life of the World to Come (2005), so I take it I missed a bullet, huh?

What about you guys, if you had the power to bring one television show into existence, what would it be?

I'm terrible at this question—I don't usually want to dramatize things I read, and when I do, my fancasting always has temporal problems. I've wanted a movie of Vonda McIntyre's The Moon and the Sun (1997) with Peter Dinklage since I saw The Station Agent in 2003, but I keep running into the problem where no one else has read the book and therefore doesn't care.

(Very short version: intricate cryptozoology-at-the-court-of-the-Sun-King plot with a heroine who is a mathematician and a romantic hero who is canonically a dwarf, prose style FOR CRAP. It would make a much better script than a novel. I seriously can't figure out why no one's tried.)

[edit] OH MY GOD THERE IS APPARENTLY A MOVIE OF THE MOON AND THE SUN AND IT DOESN'T STAR PETER DINKLAGE IN FACT I DON'T SEE LUCIEN DE BARENTON COMTE DE CHRÉTIEN ANYWHERE IN THAT CAST OF CHARACTERS ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME YOU FILMED THE MOON AND THE SUN AND DELETED THE ENTIRE NOT-EVEN-A-SUBPLOT IN WHICH THE GUY WITH ACHONDROPLASIA IS THE CLASSIC ROMANTIC HERO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE AND I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE WHO WILL WATCH ANYTHING WITH MERMAIDS.

MINISERIES. WITH BETTER CASTING. NOW.

[kate_nepveu]

The end of the Company series is SO BAD.

There are some sketchy spoilers here:

http://steelypips.org/weblog/category/genre/sf-and-fantasy/company-the/

[alias_sqbr]

Live action Vorkosigan (with Miles played by an actual little person) would be pretty great. Maybe a set of miniserieses.

[skygiants]

I think Vorkosigan is right now topping the list of most-wished-for here!

[kate_nepveu]

Someone already said Rivers of London, and JS&MN is actually happening (though the continued failure to announce a release date for something originally planned for 2014 is concerning), sooooo... Vlad Taltos probably wouldn't survive the transition, I couldn't actually watch Miles for fear of dying of embarrassment squick, Mageworlds wouldn't get past "wait, this is Star Wars!", Discworld's already been partly adapted...

Temeraire. Or Ms. Marvel, but I'm hoping the big screen for her.

[kate_nepveu]

Also your Company plans are A+, would watch.

[ase]

The 98% of you who have never read any Kage Baker books are now blinking at me in total incomprehension but 2% of you, 2% of you understand, right?

I would watch the heck out of that show. My affection for the Company series has only strengthened over time (minus the Menzoda/Project Adonai romance, which hit so many of my "do not want" buttons).

If I could bring just one series into existence - and other people have namechecked the Vorkosigan series, good! - I'd love a big, expensive adaptation of Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy. I have no fantasy casting ideas. Except maybe Sean Bean for John Boone.

[luzula]

I'd love a big, expensive adaptation of Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy

Yes! This is what I was going to say. I have no casting ideas either, but it would be gorgeous--lots of panoramic shots of Mars, lots of revolution, a big interesting cast of characters.

[attractivegeekery]

I would very much like to see "World War Z" the HBO original mini-series.

Where each chapter/story is done by a different director in keeping with the tone of that particular chapter/story.

Some could be animated, others live action. What ever the director thought would work best.

I would like to second "Gotham Central," maybe add "Y the Last Man" or "Cowboy Ninja Viking" or "Casanova."

Cripes...now I've gone and opened the comic book can of worms...

[skygiants]

Anthology series! That would be super fun. I never read World War Z, but I'd totally watch that. ESPECIALLY if there were animated episodes. >:D

Is there anyone who wasn't disappointed that Gotham wasn't actually Gotham Central? ... well, some people, probably, but NOT ME.

[kore]

but 2% of you, 2% of you understand, right?

YESSSSSSS YES WE DO

//has and still rereads the first three books //GAVE THE OTHERS AWAY

...anyway the most important thing about this hypothetical television show that I would conjure into existence is that it would VERY DEFINITELY tragically cancelled after the fourth season, with all the main mysteries unresolved! TOO BAD, HOW SAD, I guess fandom will just have to fill the gap and no one ever needs to remember the horrible Nicholas/Edward/Alec/Mendoza orgy of messianic incest EVER AGAIN.

//JUST
//CRIES

also the awful awful pseudo-libertarian take on the people of the future who were afraid of, IDEFK, interpersonal conflict and eating meat? ack. I should try Graveyard Game again -- that was where it all started to really go off the rails for me.

[skygiants]

I still -- TO MY ETERNAL SORROW -- really love the Company books, even some of the later ones! Graveyard Game is actually one of my favorites even with Kage Baker's weird future-vision (the scene in Ghirardelli's, though!), and I like Children of the Company, and I'm EVEN really fond of the few bits and pieces of Sons of Heaven that aren't made up of AWFUL NICHOLEDWALEC/MENDOZA GROSSNESS. But Princess Tiana Parakeet was delightful! Um.

Basically the problem is that there's still massive amounts of stuff in the series I still deeply care about, which is why it is so exquisitely painful and infuriating that I can never recommend it to anybody because of ALL THE WTFERY OF THE REST. Kage Baker, why?

[mneme]

Someone else already called Chrestomanci (although -yes-!). So, hmm.

I'd totally watch a live action version of Girl Genius. I have no idea who I'd cast in the lead roles, though.

I'd love to see a live action version of the Douglas Irene Adler series.

[skygiants]

Live action Girl Genius would be fun! And the pacing of the action would probably be a heck of a lot better suited to forty-minute episodes than single pages

...man, with all the Sherlockiana going around lately, I totally wouldn't rule the eventual development of an Irene Adler TV series, a la Douglas or otherwise.

[obopolsk]

At first I was going to say Wolf Hall, and then I remembered that they already did that (and it's coming to PBS this weekend!). But other Hilary Mantel works, like A Place of Greater Safety, might also be interesting miniseries.

In the same vein, I was going to suggest Elizabeth Gilbert's The Signature of All Things.

I've also always wanted, though this is not based on any existing book, a TV show about an old-school newspaper newsroom that is less condescending than The Newsroom and less love-triangle-filled than The Hour.

[skygiants]

I'm honestly kind of surprised they haven't done a Place of Greater Safety miniseries already, now that Mantel Is Very Hot Right Now -- and, I mean, it would be super fun, I would totally watch it in all its soapy murderous cravated glory.

...have you ever seen Press Gang? It's a teen show so the newspaper newsroom is a high school after-school club, but it's actually surprisingly news-intense!

[jinian]

I think my top vote is going to Chrestomanci. You could do entirely reasonable filler episodes, because I get the idea that Chrestomanci's entire life is actually filler episodes and the books are just where there was something larger happening to tie things together until a novel. There's enough space in the worlds to make show-exclusive mythology, and ever so many side-jokes and references from DWJ's other work that you could stick in. The showrunners would have grown up on the material, which is otherwise the kind of awesome only possible in the rare really good Dr Who episode.

But if we're taking manga, obviously I want 7 Seeds. (Sorry, insect-phobes of the world. You can watch Orange is the New Black, it's really pretty great.)

[skygiants]

The DWJ I actually secretly want a TV show of more than anything is the Dalemark books -- I think you could do a fantastic miniseries -- but it's true that Chrestomanci would be really delightful and have a lot more premise for an ongoing show!

...BUT I ALSO WANT 7 SEEDS. I WANT IT SO MUCH. I would trade pretty much almost any anime for 7 Seeds in a heartbeat. I would trade basically EVERY anime for 7 Seeds, BURN THEM ALL DOWN AND GIVE ME MY AMAZING POST-APOCALYPTIC CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I guess Utena and Princess Tutu and FMA can be spared the apocalypse, but that's it. That's all the anime I need.

[allchildren]

I am intrigued by these books! I feel like you don't want me to be because terrible things happen. But I like those times and places, and Oona Chaplin. Please confirm/deny looking further into this will lead only to sorrow.

I always thought (because I am a stalwart hater of the movies) that a serialized Harry Potter cartoon, a la Avatar, could be wonderful.

[skygiants]

Oh God. Don't tell me to tell you not to read them, I WILL TELL YOU TO READ THEM because I want people to join me in my suffering.

I do honestly think you would really like the first four books or so, which are very funny and sad and creepy and really excellent at history; the premise is evil time-traveling corporation makes cyborgs who live through history rescuing art and stuff for the corporation to sell in the future, and the protagonist whose face I would like to borrow Oona Chaplin's for is an angry antisocial robot botanist whom I love with a great passian; the first book is her tragic adventures falling in love at a giant Elizabethan house party, and the timeline advances from there. And Kage Baker cares a lot about things I also care about, specifically Elizabethan history and California history, and is happy to drop everything and nerd out about these things at a moment's notice -- she'll spend whole swathes of the books being like "and now all the cyborgs are going to hang out and MST3K an early Hollywood movie! AND HERE ARE THEIR REACTIONS IN GREAT DETAIL" which is probably not good novel-writing craftsmanship in terms of ... story pacing ... but which I love. But it's like. You know, recommending them to someone is like recommending someone the first season of the Eleventh Doctor or something? There is a lot of early greatness but AT WHAT EVENTUAL COST.

...but I still want to tell you to read them and shriek with me about Mendoza, who is doomed to have epic romance all up and down the timeline but really just wants to be left alone to develop a superior form of maize. :( :( :(

(A Harry Potter anime? Wasn't there some great fanart for that while back? I am not a hater of the films, but still!)