(no subject)

[skygiants]

I picked up Thomas Mallon's Bandbox because I saw my roommate reading it and was struck by the cover image:



So I asked her if it was good, and she said, "It's good, but there are a million characters and you probably won't be able to keep them straight."

I nodded, and eyed the book, which looked about 300 pages long at most, and thought about the five-zillion-page epic fantasy monstrosities I'd consumed in my fine, and thought smugly that I would probably be fine.

Spoilers: I was not fine. At this stage, having finished the book all of three hours ago, I still have no idea who half the cast were or how to describe their role in the story. The cast, as I remember it, consists of:

- Harris, the head of fancy men's fashion magazine Bandbox, now facing stiff competition from another, almost-identical magazine run by a former protege
- Jimmy, his former protege and NEMESIS
- Betsy, his deaf and competent girlfriend
- John/Shep, a teenager and loyal reader of Bandbox who then gets kidnapped by mobsters due to a misunderstanding
- Cuddles, a drunken ... assistant editor .....? ... anyway he used to do something useful and now he does nothing except Grantaire glumly around because he's hopelessly in love with
- Becky, a brisk and efficient staff writer who is finally getting good assignments and does many useful things, three cheers for Becky, and three cheers also for me for managing not to get her confused with Betsy
- Daisy, a sexy ... fact-checker ....? and former Duchess ...? who is dating a judge with ties to the mob and also occasionally sleeping with other people for fun and profit, which the narrative and everyone else is pretty cool with
- Jimmy again ...? (his name is probably not actually Jimmy), lady's man, man's man, man about town and also staff writer, who then gets into a very distressing plot in which he enters an abusive relationship with a movie star which drives him back into drink but which he can't end because he needs to write a staff column about her and also she stalks him when he tries to run away and it's EXTREMELY DISTURBING
- but it's fine because then he's rescued by Nan O'Grady who does something else at the magazine, and I have no idea what that something is but it's doesn't really matter because she's upgraded to muckracker columnist after she rescues Jimmy from the abusive movie star via muckraking
- a useless gay model whose name I can't remember
- a hapless gay restaurant-owner with a fake Italian accent and a crush on the useless gay model which, in the other worst subplot, he is SEVERELY AND UNFORTUNATELY narratively punished for it
- Alan (?), an ardently vegetarian copyeditor who, on the other hand, has the BEST subplot, in which he goes on a MISSION to rescue a KOALA BEAR and then EVERY OTHER ANIMAL WHICH IS EXPLOITED FOR FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY IN NEW YORK CITY
- an assorted collection of mobsters and colorful characters
- a whole bunch of other writers and staff members of the magazine who all presumably do SOMETHING important and frequently impact the plot in important ways but whom I could not keep individuated in my head for the life of me
- occasional appearances by knockoffs of famous people such as Ernest Hemingway
- occasional appearances by actual famous people such as Dorothy Gish

...so as you can see there's a lot going on in Bandbox! Aside from the two most distressing subplots, it's a fairly enjoyable 1920s semi-slapstick whirlwind. (Well, 1928, to be specific. Enjoy the good times while they last, kids!) It would probably make an excellent miniseries, which I would enjoy because if they all had substantially different faces I might be able to tell some of the characters apart. Also it might give an opportunity to cast some actors who are not white, since the book singularly fails to actively include any.

Comments

[newredshoes]

...I feel like I just read a Monty Python sketch. What.

[skygiants]

Parts of this book are VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.

[aella_irene]

I must buy this book. At once!

[skygiants]

TAKE NOTES WHEN CHARACTERS APPEAR

[aella_irene]

It is not available as an ebook in the UK, and I am sad.

[agonistes]

So... what I'm hearing is...

You can't judge a book by its cover?

[skygiants]

I feel like the cover is actually not that different from my expectations, UNLIKE THIS THING YOU LINKED ME TO, what was that?!

[agonistes]

You knew that Stephen King was/is at one point in a band called the Rock Bottom Remainders with Amy Tan, Barbara Kingsolver, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, Robert Fulghum, Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, et al., yes? :D?????

This recording is proof. *serene*

eta: also, please consider this revenge for max raabe.

[skygiants]

I had erased this fact from my memory. I don't know whether to thank you for reminding me or not. @__@

Also: excuse you, Max Raabe is a gift and a blessing to us all.

[agonistes]

As is Stephen King living out his dreams in a band, man!

[kore]

I had a really shitty day yesterday, and this morning wasn't that great either, but this made me laugh outright (KOALA BEAR).

[skygiants]

The koala bear plot is AMAZING. There's gangsters and kidnappings and the magazine might be shut down and they all might do their jobs but Alan (or Allen or Allan or whatever his name is) just does not care! THERE'S A KOALA IN THE BASEMENT THAT NEEDS HIM.

(The koala was originally destined for a stock market-related photoshoot about bulls and bears.)

I'm glad it made you laugh. :)

[brownbetty]

But *what* a fantastic cover!

[skygiants]

RIGHT? I would 100% put that on my wall.

[sovay]

lady's man, man's man, man about town

I'm just here for the drive-by Down with Love approval. News flash: I imprinted on David Hyde Pierce.

(I'm also curious what an Ernest Hemingway knock-off looks like.)

[skygiants]

The reference was very deliberate; I definitely feel that, if a film/television miniseries were to be made of Bandbox, it should very much be to the 1920s what Down With Love is to the 1960s. (What a great film, though. So much banter, SO MUCH TECHNICOLOR. The only modern thing I've seen that comes anywhere near it is a thirty-second musical sequence in the Bollywood film Om Shanti Om.)

An Ernest Hemingway knockoff -- at least, this particular variety -- never appears in the book itself, but disappoints everyone by sending incomprehensible gibberish for an article instead of the terse, manly sentences for which he is known. They get Alan the copyeditor to pastiche him instead, which he does in about ten minutes in between fretting about his koala. (Alan the copyeditor has a genuine and extremely employable gift for pastiche, and does not care at ALL because he's too busy with his mission to prevent animal cruelty. This is another reason why Alan the copyeditor is my favorite.)

[sovay]

What a great film, though. So much banter, SO MUCH TECHNICOLOR.

It made me so happy.

(Alan the copyeditor has a genuine and extremely employable gift for pastiche, and does not care at ALL because he's too busy with his mission to prevent animal cruelty. This is another reason why Alan the copyeditor is my favorite.)

Alan sounds delightful and I am a bit sorry he's stuck in a book with a bunch of indistinguishable people and a severe and unfortunate gay subplot. (He saves the koala, I assume?)

[skygiants]

He saves the koala! AND the entire rest of the exotic animal warehouse. Nothing but triumphant happy endings for Alan, which is not what I expected when we were first introduced to the anxious vegetarian copyeditor with a stammer and deep koala-related anxieties.

[sovay]

Nothing but triumphant happy endings for Alan, which is not what I expected when we were first introduced to the anxious vegetarian copyeditor with a stammer and deep koala-related anxieties.

Aw. Maybe I'll just read his plotline.