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Jan. 28th, 2016 05:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsI've been slogging for weeks now through A Treasury of Yiddish Stories -- slogging because like 90% of the stuff in there is incredibly depressing, which is difficult for 600 pages. (And come on, editors, not all Yiddish stories are super depressing! Although admittedly this was first published and compiled in 1954 when it is not TOTALLY surprising that people compiling works related to Eastern European Jewish culture would be A LITTLE generally depressed.)
Anyway, not everything was super depressing; a few things were very charming, including my absolute favorite, a Jewish fairy tale by I.L. Peretz called "Devotion Without End" which is full of WACKY PLOT TWISTS and has an important moral.
Devotion Without End starts out with a dude named Chiya who comes out of nowhere, marries the daughter of the richest man in town, makes buckets and buckets of money, and becomes universally respected and beloved.
At this point, I, the wise in literary tropes, am like "oh, obviously some dark secret from Chiya's past is going to come and make life difficult for him."
But no! Chiya has no dark secrets in his past, he's just a genuinely pious guy who eventually takes all his buckets of money and starts a yeshiva and stays home hanging out with scholars. His only problem is that eventually his beloved wife dies and he starts stressing about how to marry off his daughter, because, like, how's he supposed to know who's good matchmaking material? And none of the kids in his yeshiva seem QUITE good enough.
Then a kid called Chananiah shows up at his doorstep.
CHIYA: OK, so what's your story, Chananiah? Are you here to study at the yeshiva?
CHANANIYA: Um ... is it OK if I just audit ....?
CHIYA: ???
CHANANIYA: You see, I have been TERRIBLY CURSED to forget all the Hebrew I ever knew!
Going more into Chananiya's backstory, it turns out that Chananiya was the smartest kid in his hometown -- so smart that his mother totally neglected his sister and basically just told Chananiya he was the best all the time. Eventually, she hired a shady tutor for Chananiya!
At this point, I, the wise in literary tropes, am like, oh dear, did the shady tutor seduce the neglected sister?
But no! the shady tutor just taught Chananiya to go around DESTROYING EVERYONE ELSE'S ARGUMENTS WITH POINTLESS INTELLECTUAL RHETORIC.
THE LOCAL RABBI: Chananiya, I am concerned. Like, you are clearly very smart, and you clearly think it is very impressive how you go around tearing up everybody else's arguments, but: are you adding anything constructive to the conversation? Think on this. And stop. Please stop.
CHANANIYA: >:(
THE LOCAL RABBI: Also, tell your mom to pay some attention to your sister, she's a nice girl.
Meanwhile, the local rich asshole is trying to marry his sweet daughter off, but nobody will marry her because he's such an asshole, until finally someone finds a BRILLIANT PROPHET SCHOLAR in the DESERT who is destined to marry his daughter, and the BRILLIANT DESERT PROPHET SCHOLAR shows up for the wedding --
-- and all this is just a setup for Chananiya to turn up and be like 'stupid saint, I bet I can make you sound stupid!' and tear the DESERT PROPHET SCHOLAR apart with pointless intellectual rhetoric!
RICH ASSHOLE: Like HELL is my daughter marrying a STUPID prophet scholar whom Chananiya just made look STUPID!
EVERYONE: Then ... who is your daughter going to marry ....?
RICH ASSHOLE: Ugh, I don't even CARE, the CARPENTER NEXT DOOR, WHATEVER.
THE LOCAL RABBI: Oh my GOD, CHANANIYA.
CHANANIYA: I know, I know, I just --
THE LOCAL RABBI: Now you are cursed to forget all the Hebrew you ever knew and sound stupid forever!
CHANANIYA: @__@
(Meanwhile, if anyone is worried about the rich asshole's sweet daughter and the brilliant desert prophet scholar, don't worry, they're fine! The brilliant desert scholar marries Chananiya's sister, and the carpenter next door turns out to be one of the secret 36 saints who preserve the world, so that's all right.)
Anyway, Chananiya is told, if he wishes to have the curse reversed, he has to wander in the wilderness for a while, and then audit classes at this certain yeshiva! And then get married while he's there, and then he'll be fine.
...for like a week, because shortly after Chananiya turns up, Chiya finds a snake hanging out in his garden.
CHIYA: What are you doing here?
SNAKE: I was sent to as a messenger by the Angel of Death to kill Chananiya eight days after his wedding if he ever gets married and breaks the curse!
CHIYA: What?
SNAKE: Look, pointlessly shredding up other people's arguments in a completely non-constructive fashion is a very serious offense.
CHIYA: ... isn't this a little hard on his future wife ...?
SNAKE: To make up for that we've prophetically decreed that his wife will have a kid who's going to be awesome.
Chiya, who's no fool, clearly sees where all this is going as far as Destiny is concerned, and is EXTREMELY DUBIOUS about marrying his only beautiful daughter off to a dude who is a.) cursed b.) going to die the night after the wedding ANYWAY.
CHIYA: Um ... so look, kid, if I let you audit my classes without knowing any Hebrew, all the other scholars will make fun of you and it'll be bad for their spiritual development.
CHANANIYA: No, it's fine! I forgive them in advance so it won't register on their permanent record with Heaven.
CHIYA: ....okay.........
So he lets Chananiya audit his classes, and he frets awhile, and eventually he decides to just ask his daughter Miriam who she wants to marry.
MIRIAM: Definitely, definitely Chananiya.
CHIYA: ...that guy? Really? But he's under a curse and all the other kids make fun of him!
MIRIAM: His life is so SAD *___* he's such a WOOBIE *___*
CHIYA: ...well, I guess there's not much I can say to that. However! What if I told you that he was destined to die eight days after you two get married?
MIRIAM: Um, I would say, I can fix that.
CHIYA: ????
But Chiya lets Miriam go ahead with the wedding, and they get married, and Chananiya miraculously regains all his knowledge of Hebrew, and they're very happy for several days!
On the eighth day, Miriam sneaks out wearing all Chananiya's clothes and goes wandering in the garden where the snake lives.
MIRIAM: HEY, I'M CHANANIYA, JUST WANDERING IN THE GARDEN, LA .... LA ...........
So the snake promptly bites Miriam, and Miriam goes to heaven!
VARIOUS ANGELS: Well, Chananiya, have you LEARNED your LESSON --
MIRIAM: Hey guys!
VARIOUS ANGELS: ...well, shit.
MIRIAM: :D?
VARIOUS ANGELS: Young lady! This is definitely not prophesied, get back down there into your physical body AT ONCE!
MIRIAM: Only if you promise that this counts as fulfilling Chananiya's curse, because if you're going to make him die then I'm staying right here.
VARIOUS ANGELS: ....FINE. Whatever. Just -- whatever.
So Miriam comes back to life, and the snake gets fired from his job as messenger for the Angel of Death and slinks off, very embarrassed, and everyone lives a long and happy life, including Chananiya, who only partakes in The Discourse in constructive ways henceforth.
THE END.
Anyway, not everything was super depressing; a few things were very charming, including my absolute favorite, a Jewish fairy tale by I.L. Peretz called "Devotion Without End" which is full of WACKY PLOT TWISTS and has an important moral.
Devotion Without End starts out with a dude named Chiya who comes out of nowhere, marries the daughter of the richest man in town, makes buckets and buckets of money, and becomes universally respected and beloved.
At this point, I, the wise in literary tropes, am like "oh, obviously some dark secret from Chiya's past is going to come and make life difficult for him."
But no! Chiya has no dark secrets in his past, he's just a genuinely pious guy who eventually takes all his buckets of money and starts a yeshiva and stays home hanging out with scholars. His only problem is that eventually his beloved wife dies and he starts stressing about how to marry off his daughter, because, like, how's he supposed to know who's good matchmaking material? And none of the kids in his yeshiva seem QUITE good enough.
Then a kid called Chananiah shows up at his doorstep.
CHIYA: OK, so what's your story, Chananiah? Are you here to study at the yeshiva?
CHANANIYA: Um ... is it OK if I just audit ....?
CHIYA: ???
CHANANIYA: You see, I have been TERRIBLY CURSED to forget all the Hebrew I ever knew!
Going more into Chananiya's backstory, it turns out that Chananiya was the smartest kid in his hometown -- so smart that his mother totally neglected his sister and basically just told Chananiya he was the best all the time. Eventually, she hired a shady tutor for Chananiya!
At this point, I, the wise in literary tropes, am like, oh dear, did the shady tutor seduce the neglected sister?
But no! the shady tutor just taught Chananiya to go around DESTROYING EVERYONE ELSE'S ARGUMENTS WITH POINTLESS INTELLECTUAL RHETORIC.
THE LOCAL RABBI: Chananiya, I am concerned. Like, you are clearly very smart, and you clearly think it is very impressive how you go around tearing up everybody else's arguments, but: are you adding anything constructive to the conversation? Think on this. And stop. Please stop.
CHANANIYA: >:(
THE LOCAL RABBI: Also, tell your mom to pay some attention to your sister, she's a nice girl.
Meanwhile, the local rich asshole is trying to marry his sweet daughter off, but nobody will marry her because he's such an asshole, until finally someone finds a BRILLIANT PROPHET SCHOLAR in the DESERT who is destined to marry his daughter, and the BRILLIANT DESERT PROPHET SCHOLAR shows up for the wedding --
-- and all this is just a setup for Chananiya to turn up and be like 'stupid saint, I bet I can make you sound stupid!' and tear the DESERT PROPHET SCHOLAR apart with pointless intellectual rhetoric!
RICH ASSHOLE: Like HELL is my daughter marrying a STUPID prophet scholar whom Chananiya just made look STUPID!
EVERYONE: Then ... who is your daughter going to marry ....?
RICH ASSHOLE: Ugh, I don't even CARE, the CARPENTER NEXT DOOR, WHATEVER.
THE LOCAL RABBI: Oh my GOD, CHANANIYA.
CHANANIYA: I know, I know, I just --
THE LOCAL RABBI: Now you are cursed to forget all the Hebrew you ever knew and sound stupid forever!
CHANANIYA: @__@
(Meanwhile, if anyone is worried about the rich asshole's sweet daughter and the brilliant desert prophet scholar, don't worry, they're fine! The brilliant desert scholar marries Chananiya's sister, and the carpenter next door turns out to be one of the secret 36 saints who preserve the world, so that's all right.)
Anyway, Chananiya is told, if he wishes to have the curse reversed, he has to wander in the wilderness for a while, and then audit classes at this certain yeshiva! And then get married while he's there, and then he'll be fine.
...for like a week, because shortly after Chananiya turns up, Chiya finds a snake hanging out in his garden.
CHIYA: What are you doing here?
SNAKE: I was sent to as a messenger by the Angel of Death to kill Chananiya eight days after his wedding if he ever gets married and breaks the curse!
CHIYA: What?
SNAKE: Look, pointlessly shredding up other people's arguments in a completely non-constructive fashion is a very serious offense.
CHIYA: ... isn't this a little hard on his future wife ...?
SNAKE: To make up for that we've prophetically decreed that his wife will have a kid who's going to be awesome.
Chiya, who's no fool, clearly sees where all this is going as far as Destiny is concerned, and is EXTREMELY DUBIOUS about marrying his only beautiful daughter off to a dude who is a.) cursed b.) going to die the night after the wedding ANYWAY.
CHIYA: Um ... so look, kid, if I let you audit my classes without knowing any Hebrew, all the other scholars will make fun of you and it'll be bad for their spiritual development.
CHANANIYA: No, it's fine! I forgive them in advance so it won't register on their permanent record with Heaven.
CHIYA: ....okay.........
So he lets Chananiya audit his classes, and he frets awhile, and eventually he decides to just ask his daughter Miriam who she wants to marry.
MIRIAM: Definitely, definitely Chananiya.
CHIYA: ...that guy? Really? But he's under a curse and all the other kids make fun of him!
MIRIAM: His life is so SAD *___* he's such a WOOBIE *___*
CHIYA: ...well, I guess there's not much I can say to that. However! What if I told you that he was destined to die eight days after you two get married?
MIRIAM: Um, I would say, I can fix that.
CHIYA: ????
But Chiya lets Miriam go ahead with the wedding, and they get married, and Chananiya miraculously regains all his knowledge of Hebrew, and they're very happy for several days!
On the eighth day, Miriam sneaks out wearing all Chananiya's clothes and goes wandering in the garden where the snake lives.
MIRIAM: HEY, I'M CHANANIYA, JUST WANDERING IN THE GARDEN, LA .... LA ...........
So the snake promptly bites Miriam, and Miriam goes to heaven!
VARIOUS ANGELS: Well, Chananiya, have you LEARNED your LESSON --
MIRIAM: Hey guys!
VARIOUS ANGELS: ...well, shit.
MIRIAM: :D?
VARIOUS ANGELS: Young lady! This is definitely not prophesied, get back down there into your physical body AT ONCE!
MIRIAM: Only if you promise that this counts as fulfilling Chananiya's curse, because if you're going to make him die then I'm staying right here.
VARIOUS ANGELS: ....FINE. Whatever. Just -- whatever.
So Miriam comes back to life, and the snake gets fired from his job as messenger for the Angel of Death and slinks off, very embarrassed, and everyone lives a long and happy life, including Chananiya, who only partakes in The Discourse in constructive ways henceforth.
THE END.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-28 11:49 pm (UTC)(When I got some Yiddish letters from my great grandparent's generation translated, I had to write this deeply concerned note to the translator, like 'were all yiddish people writing to and from the Pale of Settlement like this, or were my relatives really effed up and depressed?' He assured me that mostly they were just all like that. *g*)
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Date: 2016-01-29 12:19 am (UTC)(ha ha yeah this is the impression I've gotten >.> sometimes they were funny and effed up and depressed! I'm jealous you have actual letters, though, I don't think we have any from that side still floating around.)
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Date: 2016-01-29 06:14 am (UTC)He wrote the play that became the musical A Night in the Old Marketplace, which I appreciate, and I have non-negative associations with his name, though no other stories I can call to mind. This one just sounded delightful.
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Date: 2016-01-29 04:41 am (UTC)I'm for it.
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