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I left my election night group at 11:30 PM and said, things aren't getting better, I have to be up at 4 AM tomorrow to catch a plane, I'm going to try and get some sleep.

Well, it's 3:30 AM and I still have not gotten any sleep so at this point I think it's a lost cause. I am more frightened than I can remember being and so many others right now have so many reasons to be more frightened than me. I know we have to go on, fight, organize, protect each other, make sure to change things in the next election (if we get a next election); it's just that right now, at 3:30 AM, it's hard to see how.

I have to spend the next four days at a professional conference, delivering talks, moderating sessions, as if this were still the country it were this morning. And, I mean, this is still the country it was this morning. It's the country it's always been. It's just that that country is a couple of percentage points worse than the country I was desperately hoping it was.

Crossposts: http://bookelfe.livejournal.com/456631.html

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

wakuchan

I'm with you in the not sleeping club, but at least I can call in sick tomorrow. It's so dark right now.

I hope your conference goes well and you can get some sleep on the plane.

From:

skygiants

Thank you <3

From:

sanguinity

Same country, sure, but a markedly different path than it might have been.

Yes, we need to do all those things. And we will. But they don't need to be done tonight. Try to get some sleep on the plane, and travel safe.

From:

skygiants

Thank you <3

From:

leecetheartist

Strength to you all.

From:

skygiants

Thank you!

From:

rmc28

FWIW, I found going on with my daily routine the day after the Brexit vote was extremely helpful. Doing the job in front of me, and doing it as well as I could, was better than being undistracted.

It's ok to mourn now and organise later.

(My office is way more unanimous about being scared by this election result than it was about Brexit - we had one or two ardent Outers so all political commentary was a bit muted in June, but not so much today.)

From:

skygiants

Yeah. I think doing something ended up better than staying in bed, no matter how much I wanted to at the time.

From:

cinaed

Yeah, I'm running on like three hours of sleep myself. In about two hours I have to do a story time for a group of black three to four year olds, and I start sobbing just thinking about looking down into their faces and knowing this is the America we live. I'm so disappointed and terrified for and by my country.

I hope your flight and conference go well, and I'll be thinking of you.

From:

skygiants

Thanks -- thinking of you, too. <3

From:

glitteryv

I went to sleep at 4, feeling so upset about how things went down that I ended up waking up with a massive headache. #Whataclusterfuck

From:

skygiants

Yeah. Clusterfuck, indeed. <3

From:

monanotlisa

"this is still the country it was this morning. It's the country it's always been. It's just that that country is a couple of percentage points worse than the country I was desperately hoping it was."

Yeah. We can hope, but others clearly can hatred.

From:

skygiants

Yeah. The hardest thing is to keep on hoping -- though it's gotten a little bit easier over the past couple days, at least for me.

From:

watersword

I just keep thinking that there is no depth to which white supremacy will not sink. I am so ashamed of sharing a citizenship with this bigotry.

From:

skygiants

Yeah. I never thought of myself as particularly patriotic/American-identified, but honestly the national shame has been one of the hardest things.

From:

dhampyresa

I'm sorry. *hugs*

From:

skygiants

Thank you. *hugs*

From:

plinythemammaler

I'm so, so very sorry. I'm (I guess selfishly? I'm so sorry for how hard it is) glad the US still contains good people like you from a UK perspective; I - yeah. My thoughts go out to you and the tens of millions of others who voted for decency & respect. If there's any org you'd particualrly recommend international donations to, do say.

From:

skygiants

Thank you. <33 I'm still working through where I want to ante up with regular donations myself -- now that I'm back, it's definitely more roll-up-sleeves time.

From:

starlady

I think despair is a perfectly reasonable first reaction; I'm sorry you have to go to a conference and pretend everything is fine when it really, really isn't.