(no subject)

[skygiants]

A couple months ago, several friends and I played a one-shot game of "Get In The Fucking Robot," a short DM-less game in which each player plays as a prospective robot pilot, facing off some imminent peril that requires them to get in the robot, while also dealing with some combination of apathy, alienation, and self-loathing that currently prevents them from getting in the robot. Characters gain confidence through scenes with other players; at the end of the game, the character with the most confidence points will eventually get in the robot. This will definitely result in their death, and quite possibly also in the end of the world.

This quote-unquote one-shot in fact resulted in three shots and an ongoing obsession. In an ideal world, we would already have a deal for a twelve-episode anime that we could watch on repeat and create several AMVs about; since this is not an ideal world I am instead simply replicating our extremely exhaustive narrative notes about depressed space whaling hoteliers undergoing painful personal growth, for posterity.

The Plot

Ostensibly, deep-space whalers are necessary in order protect the (space) shipping lanes from hostile space whale intrusions. It's sheer coincidence, of course, that a huge whale-industrial complex has sprung up around the profits derived from whale products. The standard technique for whale-hunting is for a space whaler to go out in a robot designed for the purpose; the robot allows the whaler to form a telepathic bond with the whale long enough to get it to stay there for the harpoon. In an ideal situation, the whaler will then break the telepathic link in time to avoid feeling the whale's death agonies. There are a lot of ways for this to go wrong, most of them fatal.

Forty years ago, the crew of one particular deep-space whaler ran out of money and was put into cryosleep by their corporate overlords until they could find an opportunity for them to pay off their debt. In the intervening time, space whales have become increasingly rare, and, as a result, the company has Pivoted. The whaling ship has been repurposed into a cruise ship called the Royal Regency Starpiercer -- and the remnant of the whaling crew has been defrosted along with it, to work off their corporate debt by helping to provide an Authentic Space Whaling Experience(TM) to wealthy tourists who do not, in any way, expect to encounter actual danger by way of an actual whale.

The Whalers

Cleopatra "Cleo" Ciel: former captain of the whaling ship; never seen without her cool fuck-off sunglasses and horrible sense of responsibility about everything that has happened and is going to happen on this ship that is no longer technically hers



Arcadia "Dia" Normal: current head of operations (self-assigned, thanks to her predecessor's premature death in cryo); stick up her ass the size of her parent's (former) bank account; fully capable of making her own overwhelming imposter syndrome everyone else's problem



Valerian "Val" Thorn: just a normal guy from gunnery! Don't mention the traumatic experience of failing to pull out of whale-robot soulbond in time to avoid feeling the whale's death, or the resulting apocalyptic ideation. It's fine. He's just a guy



Maximilian "Milo" Velocity 2.7: the last remaining clone of Maximilian Velocity, the most successful (and successfully franchised) whaler who ever lived; has so far avoided a heroic death in the line of duty primarily by slithering consistently to the back of the line at every opportunity



Artimaea "Arti" Panther: a graduate student who was on the ship to pursue research onto her thesis in space cetology before getting accidentally caught up in everyone else's financial disaster; still clinging on to her native optimism despite the fact that her chance of getting that degree now looks vanishingly remote



Serra (SR-094): The maintenance robot who has been looking after the cryochambers for the past forty years, and has developed a potentially misplaced sense of affection for her charges



For a much shorter write-up that discusses the actual mechanics and gameplay experience, please go here for catchaspark's fantastic play report.

The Narrative

SCENE 1: Serra is touring Val around the one remaining whaling robot on board the Royal Regency Starpiercer; it used to belong to Jacob Marlin, the former head of Ops, who unfortunately died in cryosleep. This is the first time that Val's properly met SR-094, and learned that she's given herself the name of Serra. She explains that she's maintained the outside of the robot for many cycles!

VAL: Do you think it actually still works?
SERRA: Oh, yes, sir! It's fully functional!

Serra points to the sign on the robot that reads FULLY FUNCTIONAL

VAL: Are we allowed inside?
SERRA: Well ... you are a member of the crew ... and there's no rule against it ...

Val promptly ziplines up into the cockpit, with Serra whirring worriedly up after him, and offers to show her the inside. No alarms go off, except whichever alarms light up in Serra's analysis and processing systems when Val's explanation of the functionality of the robot begins to take an increasingly elegaic tone. This robot used to belong to crew member Jacob Marlin, whom everyone more or less liked; now he's dead from a cryosleep malfunction, the robot's a museum piece, and we're all just having a wonderful time.

VAL: Sorry, sorry, am I keeping you from --
SERRA: No, my primary function is to make sure the passengers have a remarkable experience!

SCENE 2: Cleo is doing price calculus at the buffet in an attempt to avoid getting further into debt -- currently she's got a tray full of brussel sprouts and an RC cola -- when she finds her crew member Milo, buffet plate full to the brim, holding court among the tourists at the buffet by spouting a pile of just incredible bullshit involving a pod of dolphins, plastic rot, and poison gas in space. Shed a tear for every whaling hero!

Cleo, picking up on the gambit, holds eye contact with a wealthy-looking tourist in a giant stole until this is successfully converted into: a round of drinks for every whaling hero!

Cleo's diet RC cola is rapidly swapped out for a margarita with a curly straw, and Milo takes a danish from one of the tourist's plates and puts it on Cleo's. This brief attempt at hakuna matata is interrupted, however, when one of the tourists mentions having heard from a friend in engineering that the sensors have picked up a whale in the distance, and the Royal Regency Starpiercer is expected to enter its vicinity in approximately four days.

Cleo pulls Milo a few steps away from the table to talk about this in private; Milo goes, stealing one of the tourist's drinks to take with them.

CLEO: Are you ... going back in there, or ...?
MILO (brightly): I don’t know about you but I don’t have anything better to do!

Cleo is now faced with the unpleasant realization that she, also, currently has nothing better to do: "I'd better think of something, if we've only got four days." She encourages Milo to make a friend in engineering, as a first step towards maybe Doing Something about this extremely unwise planned encounter with a whale.

SCENE 3: Milo obligingly goes towards engineering, but instead of finding an actual engineer, they encounter Artimaea, who's stressing at Serra about interstellar cetography. Serra is trying to reassure her that everything will be fine; their job is to provide the tourists with a realistic experience! Arti's mathematical analysis, meanwhile, has come up with two intersecting dotted lines, margins of error that also continue to intersect, and a big red circle of DANGER.

Milo's contribution to the conversation is: their stolen drink, shared with Arti. It tastes purple. (Arti frets about the potential impact of drinks on her math, but Serra helpfully informs her it would take 5-7 purples to impact her math abilities.) Arti asks if Milo wants to help her with the math.

Milo: Absolutely not! :D

Milo does, however, offer to get the hardworking Arti another drink -- and for Serra? Some ... engine oil? "What greases your gears?"

Sadly, nothing greases Serra's gears.

ARTI (mouthed at Milo): Are you hitting on them?

Milo makes a jaunty ambiguous gesture, and: exit! Enjoy your stressful math, Arti!

SCENE 4: Arti is not enjoying her stressful math. Still less does she enjoy the necessity of bringing the results of her analysis to Arcadia Normal, head of Operations, who is currently playing a solo game of squash, and greets Arti with an absolutely wild amount of post-squash game sweat and workout towel.

ARCADIA: You've brought this to the right person -- uh, what's your name?
ARTI: Uh, Artimaea --
ARCADIA: Right. I know it is. Scary. To be in a new setting. And I understand that. And I uh, don't. I don't understand this, but it's a simple matter. Someone will get in the robot and kill the whale, and die, and it will be fine. There's nothing to prepare for.

Arti is not entirely convinced by this description of 'fine'. Fortunately or unfortunately, the world's most stressful impromptu performance review-slash-explanation of why your department does not provide added value with its 'information' for 'planning' is interrupted by the arrival of Cleo, the actual former captain and everyone's more-or-less actual boss.

CLEO: You've got a point.
ARCADIA: Sorry, wait, me?
CLEO: No. Artimaea.

Cleo is brief but devastating about Arcadia's analysis of the situation as 'a simple matter'; she mimes a request for the readout folder, takes it, and immediately exits.

ARCADIA: So. The … data has. Gone up the chain of command. (tightly) Thank you for. Creating it.

Management crisis ... resolved? For now, at least. Arcadia's door is always open!

SCENE 5: Cleo heads to the cruise ship "boardwalk", fresh from a meeting with the captain of the cruise ship in which she attempted to convince him to change the ship's trajectory to avoid any chance of a Whale Encounter. The meeting was not a success.

There she finds Val, absolutely killing it at the boardwalk harpooning game! A seven year old has been waiting to play Whale Harpoon! for what is obviously quite some time; Val and his enormous pile of toys simply do not care. Cleo taps Val on the shoulder, and Val finishes his shot.

BOARDWALK GUY: Wow... you win again. Great work, did you want one of the... we're running a little low.

Val is ready to settle for a whaler action figure, but before he can take it, Cleo reaches over and grabs it out of his hand, and instead hands him the holographic folder containing Arti's data, right there on the boardwalk.

VAL: Wow, that’s a big one. Even for us. Did you talk to the ‘captain’?
CLEO: Yeah. He won’t divert.

What's the plan? Well ... someone is going to have to get into the fucking robot. VAL, [elle woods voice]: what, like it’s hard?

Cleo drags Val off to the observation deck, leaving the kid to enjoy (?) pile of Whale Harpooning Prizes; Val keeps the largest (approximately human-sized) whale plushie, Cleo takes the Royal Regency Starpiercer branded varsity jacket (with a comet tail and a whale in the tail).

Val would like to express that he doesn’t see the problem here :) I mean, shit, what is it she’s worried about exactly, that these people might get hurt? “Aren’t they paying for the experience :)”

At this point Artimaea shows up, with the intention of Talking To The Captain About The Data.

CLEO (gesturing at Arti): What about her? She paying for the experience?

Val just grins in response, like, well, didn't she?

As Arti arrives, he offers her the human-sized whale plushie.

VAL: Hey, remind me! What is it you did here again?
ARTIMAEA: Well, it’s-- sir, did you want to read my 45-year-old thesis draft, or…
CLEO: You don’t have to call him sir.
VAL: Oh, your thesis! That’s so cute! You just want to learn all about them!
ARTIMAEA: Sir-- captain-- did you need anything from me? Anything else? The expanded version?
CLEO: You did good. It was the right briefing, just the wrong audience. We’re not diverting.

Artimaea, distressed by this news, offers to help; Cleo asks for any biological details about the whale she can turn up.

ARTI: Do you want the … version for ops?
CLEO (with visible lack of enthusiasm): I guess you have to cc Ops.
ARTI: Oh, I meant, lowercase ops, but--

What Arti is trying to convey: “do you want the glossy management summary or do you actually want this for real people to use?" Cleo like, It’s public information, right? Science is all about sharing information around? Sure, it can go to anyone who actually wants to help.

Val is still here! Is he helping? No! Is he projecting rancid 'lol good fucking luck' vibes at both of them? Hell yeah! Artimaea, increasingly uncomfortable, decides to get back to her work; Val shouts after her, "Enjoy your whale!"

...Artimaea leaves the whale plushie behind.

Val's big lmao vibes do not improve with Arti's departure; "we're here to put on a show for these paying customers, and who gives a fuck about any of it?" Cleo has no comeback, and, as a result, storms off awkwardly and goes out to the observation deck to stare out at the stars, fruitlessly trying to spot the distant whale and sharing the Experience (™) with the other passengers.

SCENE 6: Cleo's day continues to get better, as she comes back to her quarters after this encounter to find Arcadia waiting for her in the MOST formal posture imaginable. Cleo slows -- this is clearly not going to be pleasant -- but gamely asks if Arcadia has anything she needs. Arcadia responds by craning her neck to look ALL the way around the completely vacant hallway, and stiffly suggests a more private conversation.

The quarters, designed for cruise ship personnel, do not have locks and consist mostly of a bed and a space next to the bed. Cleo sits down on the bed and Arcadia stands, which means they are pretty much knee to knee. Arcadia does her choppy best to express: I know we had a real awkward management review earlier, but, I believe, sir, that I have the necessary skills to get in the fucking robot.

CLEO: that’s the second pitch I’ve gotten today!
ARCADIA: WHO ELSE
CLEO: Val from Gunnery, you remember?
ARCADIA: [slight pause] Yes. Of course I remember.

(Arcadia does not remember.)

CLEO: When somebody comes to you with needed intel you don’t make them feel like an idiot for coming to you. Which, I do recognize some irony, so: thank you.
ARCADIA: I think there's been some misunderstanding, and I think you find something. Humourous. About my experience and. Position. But I was attempting to reassure the young woman that the matter was simple. It’s just, I’ve done a review of the people available and who has the necessary experience, [Cleo's eyebrows go up], and who would be... useful in the future.
CLEO: Oh. That’s a lot closer to the other pitch I got. You think you’re expendable?
ARCADIA: I think we came on board to render a service. I can do it.

This is an unfortunate turn of phrase, it turns out, as a disgusted Cleo proceeds to more or less repeat the words "provide a service" in airquotes multiple times over. Arcadia doesn't understand; aren't they whalers? Isn't this the deal?

CLEO: Despite what you think, I do think you can do it. [Arcadia smiles.] The mechanical part of it, anyway. I think you probably wouldn’t make it out alive. But I’ll be damned if anyone on my crew is going to die to "provide a service." So you can come back if you have a better pitch. You’re dismissed.

Arcadia blurts out, choppier and more stilted than ever, "I didn’t mean for them. That’s all."

And then she books it out of the room, buoyed by the mistaken apprehension that Cleo's main point of disgust is the fact that getting in the robot will become a spectacle for the cruise ship tourists -- a solvable problem! -- rather than revulsion at the waste of her crew's lives.

SCENE 7: Meanwhile! Right outside Cleo's office: it's Val! Holding an enormous whale plushie! Who definitely did not follow Cleo back, it is NOT following back if you just casually want to know what's going to happen, drama-wise!

Milo's room is next to Cleo's; Milo's door is open, at an angle where they can see Val in the hallway. Milo and Val know each other-- there were seven Max Veloclones running around the ship at various points, at least one of whom was pretty good at her job (Maxie; killed 2-3 whales before her loss). Val was friends with that one, which was weird enough for a guy who grew up on MV action figures, but then she died, so that was enough to process. He hasn’t hung out with Milo, but-- hey, that’s the one who made it, good to know!

Val's got his phone out, but when he hears his name, followed by Dia's incriminating silence, he can no longer pretend he is not listening, especially when there is no followup. At this point, Milo wanders out, holding an obnoxious green drink with three umbrellas, to listen to the conversation. When there’s a lull: “You wanna get in the fucking robot?”

Val does a double-take. There’s a second where he could’ve initiated conversation earlier but he had doubled down on Being On His Phone, so now he has to fake like he just noticed Milo was here. Doing that, ha ha, I know of you, do I introduce myself, do we do small talk, settles on: “Yeah, I mean, it’s our job.”

MILO: There are… easier ways to die than that if you wanna, like, take your pick!
VAL: [looks at the cocktail] Is that what you’re going for? Where did you get those by the way?
MILO: At the bar, have you not been to the bar yet?
VAL: Not that particular-- I’m just impressed. IS that a custom request?
MILO: I think I just asked the bartender to make me whatever felt good-- NO! I asked them to make me the most expensive one! That’s what that is!

Val puts out his hand in the universal can-I-have-a-sip gesture, Milo hands it over. Val knocks some back. “That is-- very expensive. A lot of things are happening with it. That you paid for!”

MILO: Absolutely I did. [takes it back] Glad to know I didn’t get ripped off. Whatever the concept of that is.
VAL: Everyone on this cruiseline is getting their money’s worth.
MILO: Oh, for sure.
VAL (switching abruptly back to robot discourse): Anyway, you don’t die for sure.
MILO: Sure, sure, you don’t die for sure. Not the first time.
VAL: Not the first time, or the second time, fourth, fifth time-- there can be a lot of times.
MILO: Yeah, weren’t you in the successful whalekillers club? Congratulations. Did we throw you a party after this? Did you get some kind of award?
VAL: There was a plaque. There was a plaque, and some kind of a bonus--
MILO: Oh, nice!
VAL: Yeah, five percent. You know, normally, Maxie, when that happens they normally pay it out to the family, but in Maxie’s case…

Val puts his hand back out for the drink; Milo hands it over. This drink is large. It has a fun crazy straw, possibly also made of gold. Val takes a sip from the fun crazy straw and politely hands it back.

VAL: Well, yeah, obviously, I mean, we could all die, but we all knew that when we signed up for it, and just like everyone on this ship signed up for when they were signing up for this experience, and I guess if somebody didn’t get in the robot, then all of that fucking thing…

Val gestures at all of that fucking thing, at which point the door opens, revealing Arcadia, In The Midst Of Booking It.

ARCADIA: …..Good…..evening….
MILO: [even bigger shit eating grin than normal] So! You also want to get in the robot.
VAL: I’m Val from Gunnery.
ARCADIA: I know who you are. Why would you say that?
MILO: Do you want to try some of this? I’m told it’s very expensive.
ARCADIA: No… thank you. Were you listening?
VAL: We were absolutely not listening.

Val peers around the door to see if Cleo is there. Cleo immediately closes the door on him, gesturing firmly that they should Fucking Leave. Val turns back around, still holding the giant whale.

VAL: You also want to get in the fucking robot. Apparently it’s a weird thought. A weird thought to want to do our fucking jobs.
MILO: Well, actually, I’m gonna say, I don’t understand it.
ARCADIA: Like… we’re a whaling crew.
VAL: She gets it. Like on the posters.
ARCADIA: We were a whaling crew before the posters. The posters have nothing to do with it. There’s a whale, we’re a crew.
MILO: Val, you’ve been in a robot, you’ve killed some whales, I don’t get why you would want to-- but I get it, but [to Dia] have you… been in a robot? Have you killed a whale? Did I miss it?
ARCADIA: ...No, I have not. But I could do it.
MILO: I mean, no offense. I haven’t either.
ARCADIA: So, I have not. What’s the problem.
MILO: No problem, no problem. Just basic confusion.
VAL: My takeaway from this conversation is that the person who is most experienced at whalekilling should get in the fucking robot. But I appreciate that you, at least, Arcadia, understand the mission here.
MILO: That is true. Congratulations to… both of you, I… hope… one of you… is…. Fine? And it goes… well.
ARCADIA: I should hope so.
VAL (to Milo): I mean you of all people should know about getting in the robot.
ARCADIA: I should hope it goes well because if nobody gets in the robot, we all die. So I hope it goes…. [finger quotes] “Fine.”
MILO: No, I’m not saying someone doesn’t have to get in the robot, but are you both just… volunteer-ers? Never volunteer!
VAL: I just… [laugh] I like… I think that’s probably a rule that serves you well. I mean, you of all people should feel equipped to get in the robot. Again, it only kills if you don’t know what you’re doing. What could go wrong?
MILO: Is that the way it works. It only kills you if you if you don’t know what you’re doing. Is that how it works.
ARCADIA: I understand very little of your argument. Goodbye.

And Arcadia leaves, probably wisely.

VAL: She’s scary.
MILO: I don’t think she understands about getting in the robot.
VAL: I mean, to be fair, clearly, neither do you. It’s kind of funny that we’ve got this whole ship set up about being trained and set up to get in the robot, which is the thing we trained to do, and yet they don’t understand or want to do it. So that’s just fun.
MILO: It’s been forty years! Why should they understand? If I’d been alive this whole time, I would have forgotten about it as fast as humanly possible, and that’s what I’m doing now.
VAL: All right. Well. Good talk. I respect that you know what you don’t want.
MILO: Thank you. I… I guess that… You know what? I respect that you know what you do. You said you’ve been to the bar, you don’t need to be shown the way?
VAL: I will take your cocktail recommendations though. That was absolutely terrible, and I’m excited to see the next one.

Val leaves Milo, still struggling with the concept that someone might, actually, have to get in the fucking robot.

SCENE 8: There’s a slot machine in the breakroom. Maybe you, staff, will get lucky and hit it big and not have to work in this place anymore! Could be!! It is, of course, whale-themed. Milo is playing the slot machine when Serra finds them. Today, Milo is wearing a Max Velo (OG) T-shirt that reads "Do It For Him." This is not official Max Velo merch -- it was made on a bootleg site -- but the photoshopped pictures in the corkboard squares are in fact official merch. Milo did indeed spend money on this offbrand Max Velo merch, intentionally.

Serra floats up next to Milo at the slots.

SERRA: Maximilian Velocity.
MILO: [turns around] Oh, hi, did you want a turn?
SERRA: Oh, no, we’re not permitted to use the slot machines.
MILO: You’re not permitted to use the slot machines?
SERRA: Oh, we don’t have assets.
MILO: Ohhhhhhh.... Wait, is it a rule, or do they short out if you use them? If you played and win money, what would happen?
SERRA: I’ve never tried…

Because it’s Milo saying it, Serra’s going to try. She extends a little mechanical arm and pulls the slot. Tomato tomato whale: no win.

MILO: Probably you can’t win on this machine anyway. But worth a try, right?
SERRA: [looks at Milo] Is this… are you having fun?
MILO: Uh…. yeah! Sure. You know, the impossible dream, right?
SERRA: Well, I just wanted to… check in with you. The whale encounter is scheduled for two days from now. I wanted to make sure you had all the equipment necessary.
MILO: Me-- me. I had all the equipment necessary. For killing the whale.
SERRA: Well, you’re Maximilian Velocity!

Milo goes on a face journey.

MILO: You know about clones, right?
SERRA: Right, yes, of course.
MILO: Not that different from robots, when you get down to it. That’s why I was so surprised when I heard about the assets. They let us have assets. We’re not going to have enough of them, but they let us have them. Seems a little unfair. But yeah, I am a Maximilian Velocity. I am one of the above. But there’s a range, is what I’m saying.
SERRA: Oh! Yes. I’ve read the novels. And I’ve watched the vids.
MILO: When I was… when we were last doing this. There was the one line of novels, and the vids, but are there… more? I mean, there have to be more, but… Are there any about the other clones? My sister Maxie killed like-- three whales.
SERRA: Oh yes! Maxie features in her own movie series and spin-off tv show.
MILO: oh, she would have loved that! Wait-- that was on this ship-- do any of us-- is Val in the Maxie movie?

Val is in the Maxie movie! Val is played by a nonspeaking actor who looks completely different and did not get the hair dye right.

SERRA: Yes. But I don’t know if they did as much research as they could’ve into the portrayal.
MILO: Serra, with all my heart, with deep sincerity, this is the best news I could’ve gotten all day. If you could tell me how to access them, that is how I am planning to spend the next two days.
SERRA: [pause] Oh. Um. But you’re getting in the robot.
MILO: Someone is getting in the robot, that is true. It might even be me. I’ve never had much of a choice in the matter, but I’m not planning on spending the two days before thinking about it. I am, apparently, alone in the belief that there are better things to do, and I would like to do those things. There aren’t that many things here that are better to do, so it’s a low bar to clear, Serra, do you understand me!

There's a long pause.

SERRA: So you don’t… want… to get in the robot. The risk of death is very low.
MILO: Oh, is that what they said?
SERRA: In the robot manual.
MILO: In the robot manual. I never actually read it. Maxie read it, cover to cover, every night, good for her. Serra, there is actually something you can do for me, but it’s actually a little against the rules. If you’re up for it.
SERRA: What is it?
MILO: So the thing about being a Maximilian Velocity is that you get access to certain copyrighted materials that you don’t get if you’re in the general public. Things like… logs from MV-1’s robot. They want us to succeed! I have them, I haven’t looked into them, but the thing is… they’re copyright locked. Someone’s getting in the robot, seems like we should all have access to the same information. If you could break the copyright lock. That would be a big help, I think.
SERRA: Well… they did tell me to… ensure… that you had… everything you needed.
MILO: I need to know that my crewmembers, whoever they are, have all the information available to them. I need that, emotionally, so if you could do that Serra, I would appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.
SERRA: I think I can do that…
MILO: If you get in trouble, blame it on me, say I hacked you or something, I think they think I know how to hack-- MV-1 knew how to hack--
SERRA: No, no. This is part of the parameters of the task they set up for me.
MILO: Absolutely. That is the way to do it. You operate within your authorized parameters, and you know, those parameters could be as wide as you want them to be.

Serra, for the record, would NEVER BLAME MILO FOR THIS.

SERRA: I could transfer the files to your account.
MILO: Thank you… so much. I will make sure that everyone has a chance to look at these. There’s some premium Max Velo 1 footage in there, they do a premium experimental array in there of all 20 of his robot kills. All yours! You might have better things to do, but if we make it past the next two days, enjoy. From the bottom of my heart.
SERRA: And I could also put in the Maxie movies. If that would be…
MILO: Oh my God. Thank you. That would be wonderful. You are my favorite person on this ship.

Serra flashes an embarrassed emoji.

SERRA: Let me know if there’s anything else I can do.
MILO: I absolutely will. And, hey, if you ever need me to return the favor in any way, have no idea what I could possibly do-- but at your disposal.

SCENE 9: You Are Cordially Invited To Review The Two Days Until Whale Itinerary!

Cleo has been scheduled for meet-and-greets with premium clients; her morning routine is she gets breakfast and has half-hour sit-downs with the high rollers. Otherwise she has no transferable skills -- she was a ship’s captain whose tech knowledge is 40 years out of date -- and is thoroughly at loose ends.

SERRA: Captain! The director of operations wanted me to give you this schedule for the whale encounter just to make sure that everything was in line --
CLEO: The SCHEDULE?
SERRA: Yes, there’s a number of activities planned --

The project schedule includes whale music, cocktails on the viewing deck, etc., all designed to provide a pleasant and instructive Whale Encounter Experience for the well-paying guest.

CLEO: You broke it down to the fifteen minutes?!
SERRA: Of course. We want to know that everyone knows where to be for each event.
CLEO: Are you only involved in the event planning side of it, or do you do -- you do logistics generally, right?
SERRA: Oh no, I’m not involved in any of the planning, I was asked to bring the schedule to you and provide any support you need for the upcoming whale event.
CLEO: Did the captain provide the evac plans I’ve requested 3 times?
SERRA: [loading noise] No, there are no evacuation plans. We do have these emergency maps….

Serra provides Cleo with maps that include ... fire exits, more or less. Not much that's more useful than that.

CLEO: Whale’s pretty big. You’re gonna have a fair amount of trouble evacuating out of -- you said the whale’s coming from stellar NNW, right? You’re gonna -- if the whale comes in for a frontal assault, no assumptions, you’re not going to be able to evac decks 1-3, because you can see there’s the bottleneck out towards the angle of approach, and then you’re kind of fucked in the crew deck as well, but I assume that was a design element.
SERRA: Well, the director hasn’t indicated that any evac will be necessary.
CLEO: Thanks. I appreciate you bringing me the, the schedule, I’m sorry for you -- you didn’t make it, as you told me. Do you … whalesong, huh! Is there someone on board who’s an expert? Or is that also supposed to be us?
SERRA: They have a number of historians who have recreated authentic whale music. Adjustments to the schedule could be made to accommodate prep time for the robot if necessary. They’ve slotted out thirty minutes.
CLEO: Right, yeah. How long were you assigned to our ship before we woke up?
SERRA: I was there for the entirety of your -- I was delivered a few days after cryogenic procedures were initiated.
CLEO: Did you ever look at the logs? It’s a long time, I don’t know if that’s part of your process --
SERRA: I reviewed all the dossiers on the crew members that I was given and the ship’s activities up to that point.
CLEO: Did you see the attrition rate?
SERRA: Oh, yes, it’s a tragedy. The company is deeply regretful for any losses.
CLEO: Do you want to take another pass at -- do you think the director of Ops -- do you have a good relationship with the captain? The two of you -- I mean, you seem nice --
SERRA: I’m -- the captain has indicated that feedback from your crew would be taken into consideration.
CLEO: I’m wondering if the feedback from my crew might be taken into more consideration if it came from someone who hadn’t yelled at him previously.
SERRA: Is there a message you would like me to convey?
CLEO: [sighs] [visible headache] Tell him we need at least two hours for prep.
SERRA: Of course. Absolutely.
CLEO: And tell him I’m not doing any meet-and-greets on the day of. He can watch me wave on the way out.
SERRA: Of course. Absolutely.
CLEO: Thank you, I appreciate you running me the schedule.

After Serra leaves, Cleo sends around the itinerary, CC’d to all members of her crew, marked high importance, subject line: here
MILO: responds with a line of crylaugh emojis
VAL: reply-alls “whale songs :]”
ARCADIA: replies only to CLEO: “Thank you.”

SCENE 10: Arti also has been CC'ed on the email, to which she has not yet responded. Also, her dropbox has suddenly shared with her 17 million classified Max Velo files! She’s looking for one of a couple of people, and Serra is who she finds

ARTI: Oh, hey, SR! How’s it going? You got all the emails and everything?
SERRA: Oh, yes! I’m familiar with the itinerary.
ARTI: So I had… a question? And I don’t know if it’s -- delicate? But I notice that there’s not really any kind of… plan B? Or Plan A? About avoiding the whale? Or evacuating the passengers if things go poorly? Is that something that’s not on the itinerary çause they don’t wanna scare people, or is it just… not on the itinerary?
SERRA: The cruise ship director has indicated that an evacuation plan will not be necessary. But the captain did mention that she’s requested evacuation plans.
ARTI: Yeah, I mean… SR, you saw the calculations. We did the calculations. You’re familiar with what happens if a whale and a big ship-- meet. Yeah? I don’t really get what the cruise ship director is thinking here. And I’m wondering if he-- do you know? What he’s thinking?
SERRA: Well, there’s… there’s the robot, of course.
ARTI: Yeah, I just-- I think we should have a plan B? Is the only thing. ‘Cause we’re a whaling crew. And we signed up for that. But they signed up for an experience.
SERRA: [slowly] It does seem that perhaps having an evacuation plan could be a useful precaution.
ARTI: Yeah, I mean this is just really overstepping, I know, but I feel like, one way or another, we should havean evacuation plan, if a plan is needed.
SERRA: Well, I have the blueprints to the cruise ship, but I don’t know-- the director has a lot on his plate. I don’t know that the rest of the crew will be briefed on an evacuation.
ARTI: I know we don’t have the authority, it just seems wrong that there’s not even a plan, not even a plan B. That if there’s an evacuation, we’ll be in My Heart Will Go On.

(This is a reference to a Titanic remake remake from 55 years ago; Max Velocity punches a space comet in the obligatory the-unsinkable-Max-Velocity cameo; someone sadly freezes to death as they drift off into the void of space.)

SERRA: Leadership has indicated that the whale encounter will be extremely safe. But I do-- we do have the calculations, of course, that we ran.
ARTI: Yeah. I hope they're right? They could be right. I’m just a little worried that-- what if they’re not right that they’re going to be extremely safe? Because even when, --yes, somebody’s going to get in the robot, and the person in the robot will kill the whale, and that’s fine, but … sometimes they still hit things with their tail, is the thing, and it’s very close to be drinking cocktails on the observation deck while listening to whale music. Sometimes you can hear the whale music through the hull.
SERRA: Only the premium members will be up on the observation deck!
ARTI: Oh, well, if it’s the premium members… I don’t know if we should go to the captain here, because-- I know we don’t have any authority here, but it seems like someone should do something, and the person who should, isn’t. That’s all.

Val has sidled in, and is going up to the vending machine to get a bag of space Sun Chips, aka the loudest possible snack; he's pretending not to listen in a way that makes it obvious he’s listening. At "premium members", he snorts.

Arti’s standing in kind of a corner, because it's rude to sit if Serra can’t, at an angle where she can see if people come in. When Val sidles closer, Arti gives him a subtle 'uhhh you are not invited' look; unsurprisingly, this has absolutely no effect on Val.

VAL: Oh! Are we talking about Whale Day?

"Whale Day" is accompanied by jazz hands, after which he offers a bag of Sun Chips to both of them.

ARTI: I mean, I wouldn’t say it with the jazz hands. Personally.

More jazz hands from Val!

ARTI: Those ones.
VAL: What about whale day doesn’t imply jazz hands? It’s going to be such a great premium experience. Just think about it. They paid normal price for it, but this is a huge whale. I’ve seen a lot of whales in my time, but this is a huge one. Excitement. Investment. There’s more emotion in it. Is someone going to go out there and spear the biggest whale of all time, or are they going to be immediately crushed? The suspense!
ARTI: I can tell that either you’ve read the advertising copy or you have a great future in it. But… I don’t want to see people die. Even if they paid for a premium experience way too close. I think that’s a bad thing.
VAL: I mean you don’t have to see them die. That’s kind of up to you. They did pay to see the whale die. Or the pilot. It’s implied in the experience.
ARTI: I think mostly they got paid to see the trail and be told that a whale made it seven weeks ago.
VAL: So it’s really a bargain, if you think about it.
SERRA: Several crewmembers have indicated that having an evacuation plan on-deck would be useful.
VAL: We can do that?
ARTI: Well, I don’t know if we can, but someone should. And I don’t see one on this-- jazz hands itinerary.

VAL pulls up the itinerary to scrutinize it.

VAL: Yeah, it’s a pretty packed schedule between the whale song, the buffet, the cocktail party for premium membership holders, --ooh, the MV extended universe movie night! There’s not a lot of time.

He tries to make eye contact with Serra, which is moderately challenging given that Serra doesn't have eyes.

VAL: Is that a thing? Have a lot of people been asking you about evacuation plans?
SERRA: Several members of your crew. Management has not expressed a specific desire for evacuation plans.
VAL: Oh, well, I would’ve been shocked if management had expressed a desire for an evacuation plan. Maybe we can fit it in on the whaling boat excursion.
SERRA: Well, the robot, of course, is designed to kill the whale.
ARTI: Yeah, it’s just that we don’t-- standard procedure is not, one shot three light-seconds off the bow. That’s just not really-- standard. There’s not a lot of margin of error. I trust whoever gets in the robot--
VAL: You do?
ARTI: But I just think margin of error is a good thing to have.
VAL: There’s very little margin of error.
ARTI: Thank you! We agree on one thing.

Val rattles off a ton of detail about statistical history, utilizing all his experience to demonstrate exactly how underequipped we currently are. Arti’s taking mental notes and trying to make it look like she’s not. Val ends his monologue with another round of jazz hands, glances at Arti and her Serious Mental Notes, then makes another attempt at eye contact with Serra.

VAL: So did you do any thinking about an evacuation plan? I mean, I know it’s not on the schedule, but hypothetically speaking, if someone did want, what would you write up?

Serra spits back what Cleo said, more or less word-for-word (with citation): there’s a bottleneck here, and these decks are off-limits. Then she pulls up the fire exits map.

SERRA: Well, you know, I’ve filed this in the documents for crew members to review, before whale day.
VAL: [wry chuckle] She would do that. She would scenario plan that. [makes eye contact with Arti] I mean I’m not-- it’s gonna be a fun whale day. But, you know, seems like you’re not the only person who’s thinking about this stuff. Thanks for the break, everybody!

He drops the Sun Chips on the table, not before Arti steals one, and provides one final jazz hands upon exit. Arti rolls her eyes.

ARTI: So, that was an interlude. --Yeah, okay.I guess the next step is to, uh, take that to the captain. I don’t know what we can do, but I think whatever we can do, we maybe should? The people here don’t deserve not to have a plan B. They don’t deserve to not have a margin of error. I mean I hope they have fun, I hope they have a great time and feel like they really got in touch with the whale and space and history-- but they don’t deserve for us to be wrong. Could you think about what we could do? You know the ship here much better than I do.
SERRA: I can-- run some simulations. I’ll forward the results to your inbox.
ARTI: Maybe to the captain too? I mean, she should know, and if she really wants to shut this down ... she should know.
SERRA: Of course
ARTI: Thanks, SR. You’re great.
SERRA: You can call me Serra. If you want.
ARTI: Aw, thanks Serra! You can call me Arti. I mean I go by Artimaea here because it’s professional and everything. But Arti’s what my friends at home call me. You can call me Arti.

Serra’s getting worried-- everyone she talks to is expressing concern about the robot. Maybe one of the crew members getting into the robot isn’t as much of a sure thing as the brochures made it sound. Maybe… SERRA should get into the robot.

SCENE 11: After Arti and Serra's efforts, Cleo now has in her email an evacuation plan that is hypothetically something that could be sent to the director of operations without a mutiny button, which Cleo thinks about for like a minute.

After Cleo’s long, hard day of glad-handing and then doing fucking sim-checks on the soulbond portion of the robot, making sure that it can actually fire up and that it is actually active and not throwing up incredibly insane readings, and having a bad time in the cockpit trying to make that work, and then eating a really unsatisfying dinner, she’s like ‘I’ll go find Arcadia in her quarters!' Then she remembers what happened in the meeting she had in her quarters, which is that literally everyone else on the crew walked in. As a result, she instead sends a direct message ping in reply to the 'Thank you' message she got before. The DM says: “walk with me” with an address for a lesser-used deck.

Arcadia absolutely thinks that her professionalism is being rewarded.

In a sense! In a very broad sense! That may in some way be the case!

Arcadia Is Succeeding. This Is Success.

Cleo’s idea of great places to go walking (since she doesn’t have an intimate knowledge of the ship): a crew access hallway that is not completely abandoned. When Arcadia shows up, Cleo is standing there rocking slightly impatiently at the fact that she had to make a dumbass secret rendezvous when she used to just be able to tell people to meet her at the bridge. She nods when she sees Arcadia.

DIA: Captain.
CLEO: Thank you for taking the invitation. Come on, let’s -- [points down hall]
DIA: Of course. What did you want to discuss?
CLEO: Couple of things. I got this, unsolicited. It’s an evacuation plan developed by two of the members of our crew and then sent to me to do something within my infinite authority. Take a look.
DIA: ….It’s an evacuation plan.
CLEO: Sure is. And it involves a couple of steps which I found kind of interesting, which were -- this doesn’t involve anything you need formal authority to turn on. There’s a few things you need some informal authority to turn on and some quick work with the back end of a computer system and a big screwdriver, but there’s nothing here that would require the captain of the cruise ship to countersign. And I think if we took the preparatory actions in it, we could have something in place in the unlikely event that things don’t go as planned day after tomorrow.
DIA: [slowly] Right. I’m looking at this plan and -- I’m sorry, captain, you were going to say something?
CLEO: No, go ahead.
DIA: Um, it does seem to -- I might be reading it wrong but it does seem to, um, uh, assume that everyone is in their quarters and that we’d have three hours.
CLEO: We’ll have two. I bargained for two. We won’t have everybody in their quarters but we can move smoothly, or we could pull the fire alarm, I guess, but I think that might escalate things a little bit early. But the -- but I think somebody talented could move fast with two hours of prep time and get this done.
DIA: And … that would be unscrewing something?
CLEO: Nope!

They’ve been going through an access corridor; she now ducks into an air conditioning room and points to a larger generator.

CLEO: This is climate control for Deck A, and it occurs to me that with the application of the right amount of persuasion, you could convince people that the whalesong listening activity, which takes place in a room that is entirely disconnected, could be put off. I don’t want to make people miss their whalesong, but --

And Cleo launches into an extended description of what is, essentially, targeted sabotage of the Royal Regency Starpiercer -- just enough targeted sabotage to put the kibosh on some of the more wildly dangerous activities on the Schedule of Events and ensure an evacuation could take place.

CLEO( concluding): But somebody would have to be here, doing that, then, quickly.
DIA: I … have complete faith in you.
CLEO: [nods her head real slow] You don’t -- I’m sorry. I thought, stupid of me, I guess, I thought you wanted something to do.
DIA: What would be stupid of you? This makes sense. I thought briefly that maybe we would send an email to everyone ahead of time but this is much more likely to fly under the radar.
CLEO: I think most people read their email less than you think they do. I, uh -- no, it’s fine. I can’t do this because I am going to be under I think, uh, a fairly tremendous amount of observation and fun check-ins from, if not the director of cruise services, then certainly the director of cruise ship operations asking about what plans I have to make sure people are getting their money’s worth and the prep is going as cinematically as possible. I can’t do this. Somebody has to. I thought maybe you wanted something worthwhile to do.
DIA: I, um, do. I, who -- captain, who is piloting the robot in this scenario?
CLEO: We can figure that out. Put it to a crew vote.
DIA: Okay.
CLEO: You don’t want the thing you think you want. Or I don’t think you do.
DIA: I understand that you’re trying to think about a lot of things at once and I appreciate your consideration. I don’t know that it’s fair to tell me what I want and don’t want, but I think if I understand correctly you need someone to move quickly with this machine?
CLEO: It’s ok, Arcadia. I’ll get someone else.

SCENE 12: And now, after this conversation, Dia is at the bar, having asked for the hardest drink. Possibly she just asked for the entire bottle.

Milo sits down next to her, looks at the bar snacks menu for a moment and then orders an incredibly pickled appetizer. They take one, then turn to Dia and say, “Hey, you want any of this?”

DIA: What… is it?
MILO: I think it’s something they weren’t farming 40 years ago? My method is to try something and if I don’t recognize it I’ll order it. You can try it first, you seem to like throwing yourself on your sword.
DIA: [strangled] Ha! [eats one]
MILO: Well, that seemed to go fine!

They eat some pickled snacks. They're not poisonous!

DIA: Tastes like … vinegar.
MILO: Yes! Generally how pickles work, I don’t think that’s changed. You’re familiar with the concept of -
DIA: You- you didn’t say- ugh. Did you watch any of the videos you sent?
MILO: No! Absolutely not. Did you?
DIA: I watched them all, of course. You didn’t watch them?
MILO: No, why the fuck would I watch them? I already know what happened.
DIA: What do you -- you know what-- did you-- what did -- what do you know??
MILO: I know that all my--siblings, I guess you could call them--every one of them got into a robot and none of them came back. I know that the first version of me got into the robot 20 times and came back. And that’s all I need to know. What would I learn? How to be good at it? Because that’s not going to happen.
DIA: The ones where they die--- it’s like-- I didn’t know you could record that.
MILO: Yeah, it’s-- it’s data, right?
DIA: And they’re like, they’re in the whale br-- You should watch it. [vague gesture] It’s really weird. Anyway! Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter.

She chugs her drink.

MILO: What do they tell you, when you sign up for this?

Dia just starts laughing and gets another drink. Both of them are by this point getting significantly less sober, but Dia's on a faster downslope than Milo.

MILO: What do they tell you?
DIA: Max…
MILO: Milo.
DIA: Milo.
MILO: Thanks.
DIA: Sorry.
MILO: No, no, it’s fine.
DIA: I didn’t-- I didn’t sign up. I’m a Normal.
MILO: You’re here. You’re on a whaling crew.
DIA: I -- bought. I bought a spot on the whaling crew.
MILO: Yeah? Yeah, you paid money for this experience?
DIA: It’s…
MILO: I mean, technically, so did I, so.
DIA: We’re the same! It’s for. It’s a glorious position. Very honorable. Lucrative. Probably. [looks down, troubled] Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. Not even gonna-- Not even gonna do this. I’m gonna-- hit an air conditioner with a wrench. [drinks more, rapidly]
MILO: You’re gonna hit an air conditioner with a-- sorry, elaborate on that? I realize--
DIA: [finger by head] I can’t tell you here. It’s secret.
MILO: Yeah? You wanna go somewhere else? You wanna--
DIA: You wanna make out?
MILO: What’ve we got? Two days? Two days till whale day?
DIA: Mhm.
MILO: Let’s save it for tomorrow. Really make it count.
DIA: [looks into drink.] I don’t wanna go somewhere else.
MILO: So you’re not going to tell me about the wrench unless I bribe you with sex.
DIA: Nooooo! No-- the alcohol-- [pause] can we take it to go?
MILO: YES! Yes! Bartender--
DIA: I would like-- a tray-- of this.
MILO: You gotta branch out! Two days left, and you’re just going to keep drinking the same thing? Just this thing?
DIA: What else?
MILO: Pick one at fucking random!
DIA: You do it.

Milo orders a full tray of the Whaler’s Tears.

DIA: Those are a lot of colors.
MILO: Yeah, taste the rainbow.
DIA: Okay. [Leans in] Walk with me.
MILO: Aye, sir. You outrank me, right? That’s a thing?
DIA: There are six of us. If you count the robot. [pause] I’ve never spoken to the robot.
MILO: You should speak to the robot! She’s great!
DIA: The robot’s…. Great. Great! I’ll talk to the robot. And then I’m gonna… do machines theft.
MILO: Please, tell me about--
DIA: We’re walking.
MILO: We’re walking, we’re walking.

And they are walking. Is the corridor actually more secret? Who knows, but it's close enough to get Dia to talk.

DIA: Um. So. Secret…. Not captain-approved…
MILO: Wait, which captain?
DIA: Not the captain. The other one.
MILO: Oh, okay.
DIA: Not… captain. Not the Captain-Captain.
MILO: Okay. I think I’ve got you. Double negatives. I think I’ve got you.
DIA: She’s going to be busy. She’s going to be busy on the day. And needs somebody to do secret mechanics and tell people where to go. And make the whalesong event not happen.
MILO: Oh the whalesong event!
DIA: So they can get on the lifeboats.
MILO: We have lifeboats?
DIA: I don’t think we have enough? And I don’t think they can get on them in two hours. And we have to get the message through the system.
MILO: We have blueprints to the ship? And we have access to things that we can hit with wrenches?
DIA: I don’t really know. I was distracted. She said something about a screwdriver.
MILO: So she wants-- Sorry, I--
DIA: I don’t know why she didn’t ask you.
MILO: No one ever asks me to do anything.
DIA: That’s one way to succeed.
MILO: No, it’s not a way to do that. It’s a way to stay alive. It’s a way to stay alive for forty years.
DIA: Is that your goal?
MILO: Stay alive?
DIA: Just… stay alive?
MILO (after a short pause): Fuckin’ deep. How many of those did you drink?
DIA: I don’t know. We walked away from the cups.
MILO: Well, congratulations. I guess you’re a person who gets fuckin’ deep when you get drunk.
DIA: Thanks.
MILO: What’s wrong with staying alive?
DIA: That just seems sad.
MILO: To get deep?
DIA: To only want it.
MILO: Sad to want to stay alive?
DIA: If that’s the only thing. If that’s only, ever ... if that’s the only ...
MILO: That’s also deep. You don’t want to stay alive. You want to get in the robot.
DIA: I think... that might also be sad.
MILO: If wanting to stay alive and wanting to die are both sad--
DIA: [head in hands, half yells] I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
MILO: yeah, okay, fair--
DIA: [bleary] What do the whales want?
MILO: Probably to stay alive too.
DIA: They don’t want to get in the robot either.
MILO: Can you imagine??
DIA: They’re so big!!
MILO: Can you imagine! They wouldn’t fit!
DIA: What if whalerobot… fought another whale.
MILO: Imagine if they all combined into one big whale!
DIA: LIKE IN THAT ONE TV SHOW. I used to watch that!
MILO: I used to… bootleg that.
DIA: Somebody must still have the copies.
MILO: You could make so much money!
DIA: I used to have……..so much money.
MILO: Oh, you were rich.
DIA: I was--! I said I bought-- I’m not anymore. Especially after all those drinks.
MILO: You had money. Normal people want to make money.
DIA: My parents did.
MILO: Right. So you had money, so you don’t want money. And I never had money, so I don’t want money. So like what the fuck else is there to want?

Dia crooks her finger: "C’mere. C’mere." She makes a desperate shh-ing motion, leans in, and drops her deepest, darkest secret: "I want people to like me."

MILO (laughs): Hey, you know what? You know what? That’s great. I don’t think that’s a sad thing to want. I think that’s the least sad thing to want that we’ve said tonight. So congratulations. You’re ahead of the game. Like, yards here.

Dia panics! She has revealed too much! "I have to take this cup back," she says, and flees.

SCENE 13: It’s early evening on the day before Whale Day, just post-dinner, & Val is “wandering past” the sensor room now. Arti’s sitting crosslegged on a chair with a stylus through a messy bun, slice of bread in her mouth. She’s got the whale trajectory up on a screen and is running an analysis of the sounds that we’ve picked up from the whale so far, as well as the “body language”/movement data from the whale.

Val comes in -- no closed door because this is a general-purpose room -- slides down the hallway, leans in, sees Arti is in there, and continues inside. He just got off his official Royal Regency shift, so he's wearing the MY NAME IS: VAL ASK ME ABOUT WHALES nametag nd a company jacket and is holding a super fancy float from the customer bar area. It's weird blue space-themed ice cream with a curly straw and a mini spoon.

Arti, meanwhile, has a cup of absolutely terrible break room coffee and it’s stone cold and mostly just caffeine and sadness. But it reminds her of grad school!

Val: Oh! The break room coffee! The one that just tastes like caffeine and sadness!
Arti: Yeah, it kind of reminds me of grad school!
Val: That’s worse!
Arti: Hi! Anyway, what’s up?

Val’s looking at the readouts -- he is not a PHD in ceteolography, but is looking at the files that’ve come in. “Huh! What are you looking into off the clock?”

ARTI: I mean, is there really an off the clock today? Anyway-- sorry, no, we know that the whale is coming, and we know its rough size, and we know the trajectory, but there’s a lot of difference in the rough approach. Sometimes they are looking to avoid, not be there, and sometimes they’re really-- not looking to avoid, at all, and so I’m doing the cross-comparison to see if there’s anything we can learn from this, since the margin of error is so-- nonexistent? basically ? but there hasn’t been a… lot of data gathering in the last 30 years, apparently, so that’s exciting, but at least it means our knowledge is-- pretty current. But if you compare it to the knowledge that we’ve got… if you look at the hostility index, it’s… fairly high on them, but it’s got-- [she’s editing out some jargon] There’s always a fair amount of standard deviation there, because we don’t know what they think. Do they think? I don't-- anyway, this one’s pretty… hostile. Yeah.

She takes a drink of her coffee. "Oh, that’s still cold."

There are parts where Val is perking up-- where it’s more familiar to the layman-- and parts where he’s not tracking, but gets the point: that’s a lot of words for ‘it’s probably mad.’ He looks away and then makes actual eye contact. “Why did you start studying whales?”

ARTI: Why?
VAL: Yeah, why? There’s a lot of things you can study, and why… why this? Why the hostility index when you’re not about to get murdered by one?
ARTI: Oh. Okay. Well, initially, like-- a lot of kids go through the whale phase, right?
VAL: They do, yes. Did you have one of the Velo whales?

(Velo whales are more or less the space corporate future equivalent of Teddy bears, and named for much the same reasons.)

ARTI: I did, yeah. And the stickers, the sparkly stickers that go on your computer? I had those.
VAL: That was a thing to have!
ARTI: Yeah. But there’s just-- there’s so much we don’t know about them, and the industry is what funds-- if you want to go to a reputable program, it’s going to be industry funded, and if you want to not end up-- well, ironic, because I ended up in cryofreeze for 40 years because of debt, but I was trying to avoid debt, but if you want to go anywhere close to the whales and not just end up with secondary data… That’s the nutshell version. How about you? Why did you take up whaling?
VAL: [beat] You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot. You’re not so bad.

He puts out a fistbump with the non-float-carrying hand. Arti is momentarily skeptical, but she goes for it.

VAL: You know, honestly, do you remember how many Max Velo movies there were?
ARTI: No, but it’s a lot. It’s a lot and there are more now. I didn’t have time to watch some of them, but in some of them, the cetology-- it’s so bad. It’s so bad. But there are a lot, and I definitely watched the Velo Ranger series in elementary school a whole lot.
VAL: There are a lot, like you said, and I watched… all of them. I watched them in theaters. We had to go three times. You know the one where there’s the pod of like, fifteen, and he has the one harpoon, and he just-- through four of them, but in one line-- not to sound like a teenage boy, but it was really cool.
ARTI: You know, I owned up to the stickers, dude.
VAL: Yeah. Who doesn’t want to… get in the giant robot. To throw a huge harpoon at something enormous, just you and them against the hordes across the space lanes. It’s that or you… what… you wanna drive a freight ship somewhere? ...It was really cool. But-- you know, they let you get really close to the whale, when you’re whaling. And when that happens…

What Arti knows about Val is that he was injured for a while in the last hunt, and that he’s been “kind of stressed”, but she doesn’t have a comparison and also it was Jacob Marlin who said that and he was always on Island Time. And that’s pretty much what everyone knows: no one’s monitoring the connection, there isn’t a team of scientists. There was an injury, he was in the hospital….

VAL: I don’t know how much you know about how it’s actually done. There’s… there’s a sync to it. If you’re hunting, you wanna know what they’re doing, where they’re going, where they’re gonna go next. The better you are at being able to follow that, the better you are at-- at whaling. But it does mean that you get really, really close to the whale. And…

Val looks back at the projector, at the whale brainforms.

VAL: I don’t-- I don't know about the Zimmerman Hostility Index V, that’s beyond me, that’s beyond my paygrade…
ARTI: With the bond and everything… it’s really intuitive, but we’ve got to make that quantitative, right? For the stuff that I do? But you guys have the qualitative, sorry, the personal and intuitive experience, and we look at the numbers, and hopefully, if everybody’s doing things right, that points in the same direction, but-- okay, here’s the data I have--

It looks like a really messy ultrasound more than a movie even, showing the whale in space.

ARTI: I mean, these are the numbers, but this is the way it’s moving. Does that say anything to you?

Val’s fiddling with the data-- at the broadest level, trending upwards or trending downwards. “I know-- we have to study everything, and it’s good to know, we should know that now, but--” He makes direct eye contact with Arti again, and, for the first time, puts the float down. “They’re just really scared.”

There’s a knock at the door jamb. The door opens, and Arcadia looks at Artimaea: “Did you watch the videos? Oh. Hello.”

Val immediately grabs the float back up and puts his usual face back on. “Oh, hello! How long have you been standing there?”
DIA: Oh. Not long? Did you watch the videos?
ARTI: The ones that-- Milo sent?
DIA: Those ones. I’m looking for someone who watched the-- the videos.
ARTI: Some of them. The ones that aren’t private.
DIA: Did you watch any of the ones where they died?
ARTI: No. That seemed private.
DIA: The ones where the whale died?
ARTI: A couple. Yeah.
DIA: They seemed…

Val is pulling up his seventeen million Dropbox notifications for the first time. Arcadia does a double-take: Val from Gunnery. “You’ve... been… the videos… it’s like… Did you know they recorded this stuff? Maybe they only recorded the clones. What are the--”
VAL: They do record the…
DIA: Do you know what the whale… feels like? They get the… Did you feel the whale… dying?

By this point Val has opened his Dropbox. In order to be as helpful as possible, these are full VR sensoria. Arcadia, who is depressed, horribly hungover, has watched as many of the kills as possible, is now perhaps experiencing some light PTSD, and then went back to make it worse: “They-- do-- what do the whales want?”

ARTI: I wish to hell I knew? That’s what I--
DIA: You don’t know? I-- [suppressed fuck]
ARTI: That’s the sixty million dollar question, right? We were always trying to keep them out of the shipping lanes, right? That’s the main thing, everything else is secondary, right?
DIA: [laughs] Mhm? Yeah, keep ‘em-- Mhm?
ARTI: I mean, I know it’s not always secondary. That’s not-- but that’s the goal, that’s the point, right? That’s the point?

Val has gone back and is skimming through the videos he hadn’t watched. He pipes in while Arti’s trying to give a helpful answer: “They don’t know they’re shipping lanes.”

ARTI: That’s what the beacons and the buoys are for, but--
DIA: No they’re not. No, they’re not.
ARTI: That’s some of what they are.
DIA: No they’re not. I… am on this ship… to porotect-- proterct-- protECT some economic interests. That’s why I was on the ship.
VAL: Of Royal Starpiercer Enterprises.
DIA: No! Well-- investors. My parents. My family. We’re bankrupt now, so it doesn’t fucking matter, so-- it’s not, it’s never been-- the operation-- it’s not been about how do we teach them to avoid us. But. Uh. Anyway--
ARTI: That is part of it, though. But I know that’s not all of it.
VAL: It would be much easier to teach them to avoid us. It would be so much easier for someone to teach them to avoid us.
DIA: At least someone is trying. And I came in because I think you’re right. Because-- Wait. What did you say?
VAL: It would be so much easier. Think about everything that goes into building the giant robot, and the harpoon, and this whole industry to chase them down, and-- if we wanted them to avoid us we’d put up-- walls, barriers-- you don’t make sixty movies about harpooning the whole pod if you want them to stop showing up in the shipping lanes, no one wants them to stop showing up in the shipping lanes. That’s why we’re on the Whaling Experience.
ARTI: Wow, it really is like grad school.
VAL: I like you.
ARTI: Thanks? Didn’t get that from you before!
VAL: I get that a lot.

Val turns back to Dia.

VAL: So there’s videos of all the kills and you just watched… all of them.
DIA: I watched a lot of them.
ARTI: That’s a lot.
DIA: I got really drunk after.
ARTI: I kind of want to get drunk thinking about it.
DIA: I think there’s a reason they were locked.
ARTI: I think there’s several reasons they were locked.
VAL: You have to get really close to the whale.
DIA: Yeah. You have to get. Really close to the whale.
VAL: Yeah. --Whiiiich, I guess we’re on track to do in a very short number of hours... But that’s not in the shareholder’s interest.
ARTI: Okay. Fuck the shareholders. But has anyone ever gotten them to avoid-- there are stories, obviously there are stories, but has anyone ever averted an encounter? Not an old sailors tale, but-- If we could just cancel cocktail hour that way…
DIA: Like… get close to the… when the clones connected, the whales were… generally upset. At that time.
ARTI: Yeah. I mean, that’s all our data. Is whales that are generally upset. That’s the problem.
DIA: And the ones where the-- No, go ahead. You have-- It just seems like the ones where the clones died they were also… upset. They were… upset. Together.
VAL: You have to get really, really close to the whale. You have to get really, really close to the whale and… you’re so small, and they’re so much older, but they don’t underst-- It’s hard to understand, it’s hard for us to understand, it’s hard for them to understand-- I don’t know how to s-- The moment when you understand the most is when you’re the best at what you really need to do, which is to end it, and nobody ever thinks about-- what if you didn’t, what if you just said-- Sorry,I don’t know
ARTI: You were saying earlier, we’ve said it all a million times, it should be easier to tell them to go away. Has nobody ever tried to tell them to go away?
VAL: I don’t think anyone’s ever tried to tell them to go away.
ARTI: So if we’re all agreed, fuck the shareholders-- why don’t we just ask them?

Val starts to laugh, semi-hysterically: "Why don’t we just ask them? Why don’t we just fucking ask them to go away?" He reaches out and begins shaking Arti's shoulders. "I never tried to ask them to go away. Incredible. That’s incredible."

SCENE 14: Meanwhile, slightly before and in a separate conversation, Milo has one black coffee for Cleo and one elaborate frappucino for themselves.

MILO: So our… ops officer was incredibly trashed last night? There was a lot going on, but I think I learned two things. One, you want to do something with a crowbar? Two, she should absolutely not get into the robot.

Cleo puts her head in her hands, laughing: "Milo, I’ve never agreed with you more"

MILO: So what- what is the crowbar situation?
CLEO: Two questions: one, did she convey any information about the situation whatsoever? Two, did she convey it where a bartender or anyone would hear her?
MILO: No, no, she was responsible- I mean, I don’t think a bartender would have understood anything if they did overhear, but -- I mean, I’ve got more ability to connect the dots than a bartender does. Not a lot, but some!
CLEO: I didn’t give her a lot of dots to connect, but--
MILO: She said “Walk with me.”
CLEO: I should probably give her a rank sometime, just to make her feel better or something, right?
MILO: Not if she thinks it’s a pity rank!
CLEO: Well, it would be, but… I mean, we’re on a fucking cruise ship.
MILO: I have noticed!
CLEO: Right, yeah, you’re the one who’s noticed this is a fucking cruise ship. Right. Sorry. None of this is -- I had an idea -- she had an idea -- maybe? it was SR -- she doesn’t really think outside the box
MILO: Hey. It’s a big fucking box. ...Sorry, that sounded like an innuendo.

Cleo is so tired.

CLEO: Listen, I -- we -- I thought of -- we thought of a couple of ways to sort of force there to be an evacuation route if shit breaks bad. It involves some minor percussive maintenance, sort of at high speed through several decks of the ship, and I thought I would assign that to Mr. Normal, and she declined that assignment, and at this point I would like to consider -- sounds like it might be up your alley
MILO: Second choice is really an upgrade for me
CLEO: It wasn’t-- ugh. Whatever. You’d be -- it would have to happen during the prep window. I thought it might be -- I thought you might enjoy that.
MILO: Can I make a counterproposal? I’m not a proposer, but I think this situation maybe calls for even more out of the box than we have been.
CLEO: What did you have in mind?
MILO: You’re talking minor sabotage. Why are we stopping at minor sabotage again?

Cleo's face says: for real? "Well, Mr. Velocity, I thought you might want to get off the ship without major jail time or another stint in cryo?"

In response, Milo just starts laughing. "I’m not getting anywhere without major jail time or another stint in cryo! Get off the ship? Fuck, that’d be nice!"

This has not occurred to Cleo. The idea that her whole crew might be trapped in indentured servitude no matter what she did has not, in any way, occurred. Silence from her, as Milo fills it: "Look. Okay. What’s the worst that happens if someone does some more major sabotage? Jail time. Cryo. That’s already happened. Someone gets in that robot, we all know what the odds are. I would prefer if nobody died. Somebody recently asked me why. I don’t have a great answer, but I’m willing to state a strong preference that nobody dies here. The why of it can be worked out later. Why not major sabotage?"

CLEO: Okay, well… I applaud your priorities. You’re thinking we turn the ship?
MILO: I am thinking we turn the ship!
CLEO: I…
MILO: Like, sorry for Whale Day! Would’ve been a blast!
CLEO: Oh, there was a cocktail party. I was kind of looking forward to the cocktail party.
MILO: Captain, I’ve tried hard to introduce you to the idea that you can have cocktails outside a party--
CLEO: [tired laughter] It was the party part I was looking forward to, Milo. But I -- all right. Okay. I take your point. I don’t have the right to make this decision for anyone else. But I think I probably have the right to ask. I also have the email list. So… I think… Yeah. Fuck, Jesus -- yeah. Yeah. Why not, right? Why not turn the fucking cruise ship around? We end up fucking court martialed doing -- can you get court martialed off a fucking cruise ship? -- we end up doing hard labor on Mars, and I remind you at the trial it was your idea. Deal?
MILO: For the first time in my life, consider me volunteered.

SCENE 15: Let's start with a roundup of the current status of mutiny plans!

As far as Serra & Arti know, she and Arti have sent an email to the captain asking the captain to help prepare for if things get bad, with an evac plan.

As far as Val, Dia, and Arti know, they are also planning to figure out a way to ask the whale to fucking leave.

As far as Dia, Milo, & Cleo know, Cleo has at least proposed a plan in which they sabotage the ship plausibly-deniably to get an evac route in place.

As far as Milo & Cleo know, they’re gonna fucking turn the ship around instead.

And now: back to Val. Test flights are possible, but only if you monetize them: so there’s an observation zone where you can watch the pilots take off. Val has showed up in gear. Pan as he comes up the zipline-- then cut to Serra in the observation area, looking over all the diagnostic functions. There’s a comm!

SERRA: Thank you for taking the time to do this. I have reviewed-- some of the footage provided by Maximilian Velocity, but it was not as detailed as it could have been in the operation minutia of the robot. So I was hoping you could provide additional guidance.
VAL: Oh, I guess everyone’s been watching these videos! They put all the detail in the narrative arc and less in the driving!

He turns and gives a thumbs up to the observing passengers. All the dialogue is coming through the comm in his suit, crackling over the intercom. If Serra cared to compare their knowledge of his affect in their first couple of interactions against how he appears now, he is definitely more manic.

VAL: Yeah, of course, of course, of course, happy to help you get more diagnostic data!

A casual vault into the seat. In one sense this is very familiar. Once you learn how to ride the giant robot, you don’t forget how. But ... this is also not his giant robot. It’s just slightly to the left of what he’s used to. He’s checking the panels…

SERRA: Oh. And this opens the… the thrusters?

She's excited; this is the one thing she picked up from her first tour through the robot with Val!

Val’s going through, doing some delicate diagnostics of things, reading things, and then yanks a lever with great confidence. “I just never liked it set that way. I just never understood why he had that much… burn… to the engines… I guess he’s not here to complain about it! So what did you want to evaluate?”

SERRA: Maybe if you run through the launch sequence.
VAL: Oh! Right! Right, that’s an easy one. Happy to be asked about the launch sequence.

The power comes up as the lights come on. There’s the shot of all of the instrumentation reflected on the glass of his Gundam spacesuit helmet. The bay doors open from the area that the robot is to the open observation deck, and there’s totally cameras so you can see the instrumentation from Serra’s viewpoint.

There was the hesitation at first, but now the muscle memory is making it smooth: the doors open, the cables detach from the robot where it’s locked into the docking station, and it moves with a low speed, but with a light boost forward it drifts into the hangar bay. Val gets to the doors and for a moment has to adjust the velocity-- he’s not launching out to the sea of stars, he’s launching into the Royal Regency Starpiercer Viewing Experience-- the ceiling is painted with stars… close enough! There is absolutely a painted whale.

SERRA: So if you encountered a whale, you would now engage the bonding apparatus?
VAL: [laugh] Yeah. That is what I would do.

When you bond, a chamber fills with fluid, cables enter-- he’s walking through Serra through it with a military level of detail, not the actual technical specs but the user data.

VAL: It’s funny. Everything else is all coded-- there’s a checklist that you’re going through, when you’re jacking into the suit, all of that-- you can do that on a practice run. There’s no such thing as a whalebond practice run. There are those drills you run, but you just-- you just can’t. You just have to-- know. It’s the first time that you see them, you just have to go through the feeling. There’s no drill for this.

He makes a motion like he’s going to hit the button.

VAL: You just have to feel it.-- And then you really feel it.
SERRA: Um. It seems like maybe the process was upsetting. To the pilot.
VAL: Ah. What makes you say that?
SERRA: Well. The videos. Contained a certain amount of immersive-- data.

Val’s doing lazy circles in the robot. “How do you know-- when the video is upsetting? I mean you. SR.”

SERRA: Oh, there’s neurological data! Encoded in the recordings. I can analyze it, for..

Serra also felt upset by it. But she’s not saying that part; all she wants to convey is "I looked at the numbers and it was the bad number."

VAL: I guess they do track everything about the Maximilian Velocities.
SERRA: Was it upsetting for you?
VAL: Do they have a file on that? Was that-- do they have a file on that? I had to fill out an insurance report on it afterwards-- well there were two. I had to fill out an insurance report for the hospital stay, and the paid time off afterwards. The ‘exit counseling.’ There was a form for that. And then for the insurance liability, do they have it on file?
SERRA: I was only asked to take a look for the Maximilian Velocity files. I can certainly take a look for it.

Val is emphatically relieved to hear it. "Don’t worry about it. It’s not interesting. --I haven’t watched the videos. I’ve only seen the movies! But… you know, your heart kind of races a little bit… I don’t know if I can explain this to you, because, I was going to say you know, but I don’t know if you know. You know if you’re running for your life-- do you know, if you’re running for your life? Your heart is racing and you’re sweating and you’re hot and cold at the same time, and you’re the most focused you’ve ever been. I guess it would show up as heightened awareness, increased heartrate, faster breathing, increased hormones, that’s running for your life. That's how the whale feels, and then you feel that way too, because they’re… so much bigger. They’re so much bigger, and the whale’s feeling that, and you get really close, and you both feel that. --I guess that was upsetting? I guess that was upsetting. I guess it was upsetting. Is this helping you?"

SERRA: Yes. Yes. Of course.
VAL: Good. I’m glad it’s helping. --Do you worry? You’ve been reading all these reports and stuff, but-- am I making sense to you, SR? Do you worry? When you’re running all these calculations and you get that percentage sense that something destructive might happen to this shp and you might just… stop. Do you…
SERRA: I feel… concerned.
VAL (big emotion): You do feel concerned!
SERRA: Lately, yes.
VAL: [huh!!!] That’s-- that’s great.
SERRA: I feel that we should be taking-- steps. To address the whale.
VAL: Yes! Yes! This is what I’ve been-- well not for that long. But this is what I’ve been saying. We should be taking steps. What were you thinking?
SERRA: I’ve been thinking that perhaps it would be less upsetting if it wasn’t a person that got into the robot.
VAL: Wait, what?
SERRA: Well, it seems that the interface of a biological organism with your systems is not optimal.

Val's face is frozen; the camera is frozen on his frozen face. The robot touches down briefly.

VAL: Why did-- you-- This is why you wanted to run diagnostics?
SERRA: Well, I believe I could work through the launch sequence, like you said. There’s any number of training simulations.

Val is silent. He pauses. He’s disconnecting some cables, pneumatics are happening. He flips open the cockpit and turns to stare at the observation deck. They’re still talking through comms. “You just learned to be concerned and you want to get in the robot?”

SERRA: Well… you wanted to get in the robot.
VAL: I wanted to get in the robot because I should get in the robot!!! It’s upsetting, but it’s fine! I’m fine with it! You don’t need to get in the robot!
SERRA: Um. I. I believe that fine and upsetting are not compatible states of being.
VAL: --Don’t get in the robot. SR. How long have you been operational?
SERRA: Approximately a hundred and two years.
VAL: 102 years. What have you done in that 102 years?
SERRA: I’ve maintained the hotel’s floors. I’ve maintained the exterior of the robot, and I’ve monitored your ship, when you were in cryo.
VAL: For a hundred-- Don’t--

He can't get through it. He's pointing, gesturing with his hands.

VAL: I understand. It is suboptimal. For us to be in the robot. Why do you want to be in the robot?
SERRA: I believe that I could more efficiently take care of the whale.
VAL: More efficiently take care of the whale, why?
SERRA: It seems that several members of your crew have been in the robot and are now averse to going into the robot. And I believe it would have a negative impact overall on--
VAL: You want to get into the robot because you’re worried about us?
SERRA: My primary objective is to ensure that the crew has everything they need!

There's a long pause.

Then Val says, "I need you to not get in the robot. I need you to not get in the robot." He clears his throat. "I mean, in the manual. That I’m sure that you’ve read. I’m reading the manual right now, and suboptimal or not suboptimal, I’ve got a great track record. You don’t know if the interface would even be compatible. I need you to be here. I need you to be here supporting us. Because We can’t do all the… all the maintenance that you do. That you can do."

SERRA: Well, there are a number of other SR units on the ship. But I will take your advice into consideration. --Thank you, again, Mr. Thorn. For your willingness in helping out with this demonstration.

SCENE 16: Milo’s evening plans are: getting a drink with the person who’s going to be piloting the ship tomorrow. Arti catches Milo’s eye at the bar, and asks the bartender for a frappucino with just a little bit of spike in it; then she waits for Milo’s conversation to wrap. Once the pilot’s gone back to their shift, Milo wanders over to the bar; sits down next to Arti; says, “Looks like you’re trying to pick me up.”

ARTI: Do you say that to-- like-- everyone you see in a bar? Because I get that impression from the, like, 20 drinks. At a go.
MILO: Are those things related?
ARTI: I mean sometimes. There’s a proud tradition of picking people up with drinks. Which I’m not doing. It’s a coffee drink. I’ll spot you a coffee drink.
MILO: Actually, sure.

Arti gets a refill. “You want it spiked? You probably want it spiked.”

MILO: Ehhhhhh… no, actually, not now.
ARTI: Yeah, I shouldn’t.
MILO: I mean, far be it from me--
ARTI: No, I wanted a little, because it’s stressful, but shouldn’t have a lot, because it’s stressful. Calculations to run.
MILO: Hey, why we’re on the topic, you were a student, right?
ARTI: I was working on my doctorate.
MILO: So was it student debt?
ARTI: Honestly I think it was a combination of student debt, and that the systems had me marked as an employee. Which I think. Is a problem. I’ve written to them, that they should fix it, but--
MILO: Right, not much you can do about it unless they’ve invented time travel, which they might’ve, I haven’t looked into it, but are you-- still in debt?
ARTI: Aren’t we fucking all.
MILO: Yeah, but there’s degrees.
ARTI: I’ve kind of filed it as-- a later problem. There are more pressing ones. Like all of this. And everything.
MILO: I was just kind of asking if you had envisioned yourself… being able to walk off this boat. At any point.
ARTI: [beat] That’s a good question. It’s a question I have too.
MILO: Might be something to think about. Before you order any of the really expensive stuff.
ARTI: It’s been a lot of days of the instant stuff. On the burner. Which don’t get me wrong. Grad school coffee is still coffee. But sometimes you want the real stuff.
MILO: Uh huh. Yeah.
ARTI: But I did want to talk to you about something related to my student debt. Did you want to take a walk with me? I’m still not picking you up.
MILO: Everyone wants to take a walk with me these days!
ARTI: It’s because you’re so charming.

They wander off with the drinks. Arti says, "So first… thank you for the-- files. That was a lot. But thank you for the-- thought, I think. No, I mean that, actually. We would never have had access to any of that, and I’m not saying I watched all of that, because I would need about five years, and some of it seems maybe… private, like things I shouldn’t be watching --" Milo laughs at that. "-- but I wanted to say… thanks.
MILO: We don’t really have-- privacy? So. But I think everyone should get a fair shake.
ARTI: I mean, yeah, I think everyone should get a fair shake, so I’m going to care about privacy, but--
MILO: Oh, that’s sweet!
ARTI: But that’s not actually what I came for-- I’m going to thank you for it because I think it’s important, but-- this is kind of-- has anyone ever tried to do anything with the whales other than kill them? Like tell them to go away? Like not fight them?
MILO: Tell them to go away.... So like. Get in the robot.
ARTI: Yeah.
MILO: Go up right next to the whale. Do the mental bond thing. Go, Lassie, go home, Lassie, we don’t want you here, and then go back to the ship? Is that the general idea?

Arti is slightly deflated, but she perseveres. "Yeah, I wasn’t thinking about Lassie specifically, but that’s the general idea. Has anyone ever tried that?"

MILO: I don’t know. You’ve probably reviewed more of the data than I have.
ARTI: Well, I have, but I’ve reviewed all the qualitative data,and you’d be surprised but there’s a certain amount of industry filtering that gets to the researchers, and--
MILO: Well, yeah, I’ve got the classified information, but-- [gestures to their beautiful handgrown face] this package is industry filtering, baby, I don’t know what to tell you.
ARTI: Well-- industry scuttlebutt, too. But I’m saying-- I don’t know if anyone’s tried it. I’m trying to think of all of the options here.
MILO: It’s not like… the topic never came up. Ever. I didn’t pay a lot of attention? To those conversations? Because I don’t have a lot of interest in getting up… close… I had other things to think about than what the whale was thinking.

Arti nods like she understands in any way the concept of not being interested in whales.

MILO: I think maybe Velma raised it in class once? But that got shut down fast. And she… died on her first trip out… so if you’re gonna look at anyone to see how that went, maybe check out Velma? She’s probably the only one who would’ve tried it.
ARTI: Okay. Thanks. I don’t know if it works. I don’t know that it would work. I don’t know if anyone’s tried it. We don’t know. All we know is that--
MILO: Great time to do experimental research.
ARTI: I think we don’t have a lot of fucking options!

As Arti says this she gets a ping on her blackberry; it’s an email from Cleo, in response to the blueprints (which Cleo had responded to with “thanks.”). In reply to Cleo’s own previous single line response:

“thanks. can you meet me before the meeting. i think we can think bigger.


really, seriously. thanks.”

MILO: Someone’s popular.

Arti is trying not to stop midsentence in order to read the message. "I mean, aren’t we all, right now? We’ve got, like, a day left, till whatever happens. I’m just trying to gather all the information that we can and get it to whoever needs it. While we can."

MILO: Here’s the thing. I think maybe the best possible option is that none of us need it. You know what I’m saying?
ARTI: Yeah. I totally agree. It’s just… this doesn’t really need to happen right now. [laughs]
MILO: Could. Not. Agree. More.
ARTI: All right. Well. Thank you, seriously. If you think of anything else, even if it’s a longshot, we can’t rule it out without thinking about it, right? So if you think about anything else, I’d love to hear about it even if it’s a dead end.
MILO: Check out… I’ll check out Velma’s record. I”ll see if there’s anything in there.
ARTI: Thank you. Seriously. For whatever help you think of. And-- here’s hoping we don’t need it.
MILO: Yeah. Yeah, I guess I’ll see you at this eleven o’clock meeting, I gotta… go see if there’s a way to spike a drink? See you later.
ARTI: Your own, or--?
MILO: No ho ho ho ho, not today.
ARTI: Oh. Good luck. --I don’t really have any tips.
MILO: Thanks. You know what, I appreciate the thought.

SCENE 17: Cleo calls a team meeting at the foot of the robot. The hangar doors are locked, with a holographic projection explaining that THE ROBOT WILL BE CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE PURPOSES FROM 10-12 WHILE WE DO PREP FOR ITS MISSION TOMORROW! :) There are viewing windows in the top of the hangar bay doors, where the tourists can swim by in zero grav and get a glimpse of the robot and the crew, clustered at its feet, but can't hear what they're saying.

Cleo pulls Arti aside. “Look, I mean… I don’t want this to get you in more shit than it’s going to, but you sent this to me to-- use, right? I didn’t misguess?”
ARTI: No. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. --I mean I was a lot more worried about getting into trouble before my whole career track got interrupted by forty years of cryo? So?
CLEO: [sighs, winces] Sure did. It sure did. Do you-- did you have, uh-- I’ve got something, but I wanted to ask, like-- this was all… deniable. What would you do if you weren’t gonna...deny it.
ARTI: I mean I feel like… what… matters is that we don’t run face first into the most stupid tragedy possible. Right? Like--
CLEO: With you there. That’s strategic thinking.
ARTI: That’s--I mean, I guess if we’re going to get in trouble for anything but being really stupidly self destructive, then let’s make it matter, right? For the people here, and even for the whale, who didn’t-- whatever, all of this. This is stupid. [laughs] Sorry.
CLEO: No, uh-- [also laughing] permission to speak further. Insofar as the chain of command applies. I, uh-- you got it. Let’s not be stupid.
ARTI: And I’ve been asking, I mean, on our crew, and the other thing I’ve been trying to figure out is if anyone has ever tried to not-- confront the whale. Like, not just harpoon the thing. And I don't think that’s plan A, I mean I think plan A is avoid, but-- can we?
CLEO: You mean use the robot as a getaway truck?
ARTI: No-- would we all fit? I thought it was a one person cockpit?
CLEO: I mean, I didn’t think it was your best work.
ARTI: No, wasn’t there a movie like that? No. I mean soulbond and tell the whale to go the hell away, or something, but I think avoiding is a better plan. Because I can’t find anything about whether anyone has tried that, let alone whether or not it’s worked.
CLEO: Ohhhhh...kay.
ARTI: But, I mean.
CLEO: No, no, it’s-- [beat] Okay. No, no, [beat] You’re a good thinker. Like, they should’ve given you that fucking doctorate. I mean, postmortem, if anything. Is it like Purple Hearts?
ARTI: Thank you. No. I think they just tell other grad students not to follow all of your example in that case. But I have sent them some emails telling them they should. Haven’t heard back. But thank you!
CLEO: You send good emails. I think you’ll probably get buy-in.
ARTI: Th...anks?

Other people start drifting in, and Cleo, for lack of being tall enough to be taller than everyone else and also for lack of a captain’s chair and like, shoulders, hops up on the tread of the robot’s foot. She is now slightly elevated and feeling like an idiot. Here she is. Waiting for her crew to stage up around the robot foot.

(Arti is also about 5’6”, the same as Cleo; everyone always thinks she’s four inches shorter.)

CLEO: Thanks. Some of you-- some of you know some of what I’m about to say, I-- It’s been a fuckin’, uh-- it was a pleasure serving with you previously, and it’s been a real shithole serving with you the last couple of weeks, I must say, which is no imprecation on the quality of that service, and, uh… We find ourselves in sort of a weird situation, that I’d like to propose a solution to. And I don’t want to steal anybody’s credit, but I also want to say that the person whose idea this really was has a mixed feeling sometimes about taking said credit.

She looks down to see if Milo wants attention for this event. Milo brought: a tray of cupcakes which were stolen from somebody else’s meeting. Milo eats a cupcake. Milo thinks about this. “Well, as far as I’m aware, it was a team effort. Don’t think this would’ve happened without our director of Ops here though.”
DIA: What?

Cleo winces, tries to pretend she didn’t wince, and turns it into a real serious nod. “Look. We are here today because I fucked all of you."

(Dia, who, as may have been evident by this point, has some Feelings About the Captain, goes on a face journey.)

CLEO: We are here today in this honorable ship because I didn’t do the books right. And I think we’ve been pretending we’re here because we had-- bad luck, or because we had a bad run, or-- or because, I don’t know, because of the goodness of the fucking-- Royal Regency Enterprise. But when it comes down to it-- we are here because the red part of the sheet outweighed the black part of the sheet and it was my job to make sure that that didn’t happen. And I didn’t do a good enough one. Had a good run, didn’t hit it long enough, right? And that’s why you all are here with me today.
ARTI: I mean, I think it was really… stacked.
CLEO: Oh yeah. Don’t get me wrong. I think it was pretty fuckin’ stacked against us, right? But that wasn’t your job to keep track of.

Val raises his hand like he's in middle school. "Permission to speak freely?"

CLEO: Yes, Mr. Thorn.
VAL: Is that your job? I’m pretty sure your job is to get fucked. At what point in your-- in your job were you given the tools necessary to fix this situation? In my opinion.
DIA: Would we not be approaching a whale…? That’s what we did. The difference here is just-- additional people.
VAL: Additional people, tools to succeed-- All I’m saying, all I’m saying, captain, is I don’t think you actually had a chance to do your job. If the job was for us to not get fucked. Sorry. Sorry, you were on a roll, you had a thing going, and I don’t want to--
CLEO: No, no, that’s a pretty good segue, Mr. Thorn, and I appreciate the assist, which is, as you say rightly say, we-- my-- job, is to royally get fucked for the delight and viewing pleasure of the fine customers of the Starpiercer, and I think we have an opportunity to make that-- matter, more than it was going to. But it is going to involve-- just really a series of extremely major felonies. And I wanted to get-- buy-in. Before I launched that part of the plan. Because you didn’t ask to be here. I mean, none of us did.

Val is absolutely delighted: "You call a staff meeting for us to have a mutiny?"

MILO: C’mon, best staff meeting you’ve ever been in.

"This is the best staff meeting--" Val rolls over to give Milo a bro backslap. "This is the only staff meeting I’m paying attention to."

Arti takes a bite of cupcake because she isn’t sure what face to make. Cleo is laughing a little, verklempt, and then looks over at Serra, who reaaaally didn’t ask to be here. “SR, I’m not gonna lie to you, I forgot you were on the email list, but you are welcome at this meeting, if you wanna be here. And if you don’t wanna be here, none of us are ever going to say you were.”

SERRA: I’m at your disposal.

Cleo winces. "Great." She looks at Dia to see if Dia is also going to say the same damn thing as the helpful robot.

Dia has arranged herself into the most formal posture she can think of, with arms behind her back. “I would… like to hear, very much, your proposed plan of…" Long pause. "... attack, before, um…. Providing any response.”

CLEO: Can't say fairer than that.

Arti, meanwhile, has side-stepped over to Serra, after hearing 'I’m at your disposal'. “Is that the same thing as wanting to be?”

Serra says as quietly as possible, just to Arti, “I want to.”

ARTI: Okay, good. Just wanted to check.

CLEO: The plan has two components. One is the part that I think Milo knows, and has been assisting me in putting together, which is operation Turn This Fucking Ship Around, and I think that has a-- I would refer to it as a medium chance of success, and a low chance of… death.

She gives the rundown: here's the part where we spike the cruise ship pilot's drink, here's what someone has to do to disable the counterchecks, etc. It’s slapdash and has several moving parts. "So that’s part one. I think that’s what the majority of our crew should focus on. And, then, part two, for which I have to credit Mr. Panther, is that we do have-- access, to this --" She pats the rest of the foot of the robot. "-- this fine institution of a robot, which as far as I can tell still flies, and I think there is a reasonable opportunity to use that-- as a distraction, for the redirect, and as an attempt to communicate with the whale. Mr. Panther asked if anyone had ever done this before, if anyone had ever inquired if the whale could depart, and someone under my command… did try that. Once. And… it… I mean I can’t say it didn’t work.

Arti is now SUPER paying attention.

CLEO: You know, the whale took off. So I think that plan has… I think it’ll get it a diversion.

Milo's got their hand up.

CLEO: Yeah, Milo?
MILO: Yeah, what happened to the person who was…
DIA: Yeah, what are you not telling us?
CLEO: Well, the bond doesn’t… drop. Until the whale dies. Right? So there is… at the point of… when the attenuation…

She suddenly loses steam for the official version of this; her register changes. "I don’t know, man, I didn’t fucking -- I talked to the doctor, and she had a theory, as to what happened to Velma, Milo, but it didn’t make it into the logs so much, because it was a theory. When the attenuation hits a certain point it-- it takes you with it. Right? If it goes, you-- you go too. And-- I don’t know, that that’s a sure thing. There may be a way out of it, we’re-- well, we’re not clever people, but we appear to be stubborn as hell, and-- that one I don’t know how much of a fuckin’ felony it is, there’s no such thing as Grand Theft Ceto or whatever, but I think that one’s a little… high-risk high-reward. So that’s the other… part. And that’s a one person job." Val’s hand rockets up again. "Yeah, Val?"

VAL: Are you suggesting that you have a person in mind?
CLEO: Yeah, Val. I do.
MILO: Jesus fuckin’ Christ!
CLEO: Not you, Milo, put your fuckin’ hand down.
VAL: I mean, we’re all thinking it!
MILO: I thought the goal was for no one to get in the robot!
CLEO: It was a good goal, Milo! I’m not anti the goal!
ARTI: We’ve been talking about needing plan Bs. All along.
CLEO: It means one of the two of these things-- and maybe both-- will work. But we’ve got a better chance with both than one. And it’s a pretty big if. I think it’s worth running the shot.
SERRA: I’m fully equipped to operate the robot.
MILO: Oh my fucking God!
VAL: You were obviously making eye contact with me!
CLEO: I was not obviously making eye contact with you, Val.
VAL: What?
DIA (tightly): Are you suggesting you’re going to get into the robot?"
CLEO: I’m suggesting we… (big sigh) ...enjoy the cocktail party, I think that’s slated for next… a good night’s sleep. Some of the fine cuisine this place has to offer, because fuck knows none of us need to worry about our credit chits, and tomorrow morning we make a plan of attack. I’ve got the--
MILO: Yep, we spin the Russian Roulette wheel again! Gonna play the suicide mission! Great! Wonderful! Sounds fantastic!
DIA: Captain. I think you think we are stupider than we are.
CLEO: I don’t think you’re stupid, Dia.
VAL: I actually agree with her.
CLEO: I don’t think-- Well I think we’re all pretty stupid, or we wouldn’t be here. But just cards on the table, I don’t think any of you are stupider than me, which again, low bar, but I also don’t think-- I think this isn’t-- a decision-- You know what? I don’t think this is a decision any of you have the right to take away from me. I am your captain. More than technically. Y’all have been asking me things. Kind of a lot.
DIA: ...I believe you are… proposing mutiny.
MILO: Double mutiny!
VAL: I just don’t understand. We’re having the discussion about how someone’s going to get into the robot, and something terrible’s gonna happen. I just don’t-- Why is this a discussion? Let the person who wants to get in the robot get in the robot!
DIA: Well...
ARTI: I mean, I’d do it for this one.
VAL: Why?!
ARTI: Because-- I’m not saying it’s my Plan A, either, but-- not for the company, but for the information to go to people who could do something with it?
DIA: Can we record it? SR, can we record that? Can we get that information?
SERRA: Um. There may be… records.
ARTI: If we can… it was my idea. And the-- for how many decades have we been harpooning the whales? They come towards the shipping lanes, and maybe they’re not here because they’re all off in the Horsehead Nebula, and maybe they’re not here because we’ve just harpooned too many of them, but I’ve dedicated my life to trying to find something different than that, and then we got put on ice for forty years.
MILO: Dedicated your life? You’re what, twenty-two?
ARTI: Thirty!
MILO: I’m not listening to this! I’m not listening to all of you argue about whether you’re going to throw yourself on a fucking bomb!

And Milo storms out.

Behind him, Cleo lets out a bad laugh. "Well, that’s one down."

Val says, "They super have a point. You, you, you just figured out that there’s a whole thing you could be doing to be helping, Arti, and you have a whole dissertation to write. You --" He turns to Dia. "-- have a promising career, I don’t know much about you but I know that’s true, you," to Serra, "you, SR, you should just not get in the robot. Do not get in the robot. You’re wonderful and we all love you. Do not get in the robot. And you, Captain-- No! Why would you! You’re the only person on this ship who actually cares about-- the rest of these people, and who gives a shit about something other than the profit margin, and the experience. None of you actually want to get in the robot! You feel bad because the rest of us don’t want to get in the robot. I--" He bangs his fist. "I want to get in the robot! I have been waiting for forty-plus years! Why are we even having this discussion?"

There's a pause. Then Cleo says, "You’re right. We shouldn’t be. It’s a powerful waste of our time. Y’all are dismissed."

And then in the suavest exit in history, she takes the zipline up the robot. As ways of getting away from people goes, it’s twenty stories higher than all the rest of them; as ways of actually being able to leave go, it fucking sucks. Now she cannot leave the cockpit. Just doing diagnostics, for reasons. Trapped in the cockpit like: now what. Guess I’m going to wait them out. I wonder if there’s 40 year old snacks in here. Shit, there’s Jacob’s packet of Tang, but no water. Whooooo.

SCENE 18: Dia just doesn’t fucking leave. Right on the heels of everybody leaving, Dia gets on the platform, and pushes the button and it’s like mmmrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmrrrrr, and then she is just standing in front of the cockpit.

Cleo has just gotten done experimentally licking the Tang bag and really regretting it. She turns, with big shellshocked eyes -- how did Dia get up here, Cleo really thought she was in a private robot space -- and then very slowly gets out and cracks open the cockpit door.

CLEO: Shit, I guess I do have an open door policy.
DIA: Get out of the robot.

She holds out a hand and is like, come on. Get out of the robot. Cleo accepts the hand and gets out of the robot, looking insanely uncomfortable.

CLEO: Please do not push the down button. I’m willing to process this with you, I do not want to continue the group conversation.
DIA: Everyone is gone. But yes, I won’t -- I won’t.
CLEO: Well, I mean -- yeah. Thanks.
DIA: You -- ah -- hmm.

Dia drops her hand, like, oh god.

DIA: I had thought up a whole speech. Um, uh, are you -- you can’t, you can’t, you can’t pilot. You can’t pilot the robot.
CLEO: Why not?
DIA: Because Val is right and you’re the best person on this ship.
CLEO: Did you not hear the first part? I’m the fucking biggest sucker on this ship, well, except that one. I know you, like, think that I’ve got this great track record and you looked for a posting that would be exciting and I know it looked exciting but I’m not --
DIA: Is that why you -- you did a good job. I was here to -- and in Operations to -- protect my parents’, my family’s investment. I thought, I did think that it was because they thought I had promise, but, um, I think maybe that’s not, I think maybe that was the op-, it, I didn’t, I didn’t pick you specifically because -- but you are. You are good at your job. You’re the --
CLEO: You have promise. If we were actually doing the thing we were pretending to do, this dumb self-sacrificing shit you keep pulling on me would be the best shit going, but, I don’t, I don’t want to, I’m not --
DIA: I got drunk and mentioned a screwdriver to Milo and then I’ve been in a panic for 28 hours because I watched the videos of what Milo and Milo’s family and Val have gone through and asked Artimaea what the whales want and she thought of turning them around.
CLEO: Sounds like a pretty standard shipping out to me.
DIA: I’m just saying, anything I brought was luck. You brought these things together in a clear-eyed and focused way. And you’ve given us direction and you can’t get it -- you can’t pilot, you can’t, can’t, you can’t pilot the robot tomorrow. Um, I’m going to push the down button.
CLEO: Go ahead.

There's some really slow eye contact as the platform really slowly lowers, and Cleo who has been, in the back of her head, going ‘clear-eyed! clear-eyed,’ crumples up the Tang packet, tosses it over the side, watches the trajectory so she doesn’t have to look at Dia anymore, and then has to look at Dia because it’s a really slow elevator and it’s that or stare at the fucking ceiling or look at the tourists out the window who were watching her baby tantrum where she did this real dignified thing.

CLEO: I don’t fucking want to. That’s one thing Milo had right, was -- actually Milo has a lot of things right at this point but, like, you know, that’s one real big one, I -- but listen, I don’t know how I could, I don’t know how I can -- I mean, what am I fucking supposed to do if one of you does? Like, think about that for a second, right? Like -- can’t I be, like, that selfish?
DIA: It would be … it would be very hypocritical of me not to understand. I think one thing I’ve come to understand in talking to the rest of the crew is that I am selfish and spoiled and that is why I wanted to get in the robot. And I don’t know that that’s something you want to emulate but
I can’t say I don’t understand. I still think you shouldn’t. I think you’ve understood what the goals are in a way the rest of us haven’t the whole time.
CLEO: Oh, the goals.
DIA: Yes. To get as many people out of this alive as possible.
CLEO: [in genuine confusion] And a whale, apparently. And one of the fucking whales.
DIA: The videos -- it’s --
CLEO: Don’t watch the videos. Did you watch the videos? Oh, buddy.
DIA: Several times.
CLEO: Sorry. Tried that with the first posting. Didn’t enjoy that.
DIA: It was bad. Brought some perspective -- [in agony] this elevator’s very slow.

Cleo laughs. As they settle very slowly down, Cleo hops off the last foot and puts her hand out very unnecessarily for Dia.

CLEO: Look, the other thing Milo had right is that I don’t want to think about it. Not tonight. I wasn’t kidding about the cocktail party. Do you want to come?

Dia has a truly incredible face journey. Then:

DIA: Yes. Let’s go to the cocktail party and not think about it.
CLEO: Sounds like a short term goal.
DIA: Yeah. Sure does.

It is officially not the worst night out Cleo has ever had!

FINAL SCENE: Arti stays behind to talk to Serra in the comms area, going over how to get these recordings done and how she’s going to get them released. Then she herself gets in the robot. Serra hovers by the door.

SERRA: I’m fully equipped to operate the robot.
ARTI: I know, but I’m not equipped to get the data where it needs to go.

One by one, Val, Cleo, and Dia think they alone have had the bright idea to sneak out of the cocktail party early and get in the robot. They’re not subtle; one by one, they leave their drink on Milo’s table and go, until Milo’s alone at a table full of drinks, finishing each grimly, one after another. And one by one the others show up in the empty hangar, standing side by side.

It’s not immediately obvious what’s happening until, as one, they turn to look up at Serra, operating the comms system from her position at the controls.

Arti’s voice, coming in over comms: “I think it’s working. I think I’ve got it. I think everything’s okay.”

And it is working-- and the attenuation isn’t going to get her, because she’s going to follow the whale out. She’s not coming back.

There's a shot of Arti in the cockpit; it’s not clear who she’s talking to-- Serra or the whale, old and lonely and with a couple of harpoons sticking out. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Second to last shot: Arti’s thesis. It's posthumous publication, but she made first author.

Last shot: a flip of the whale’s tail as Arti and the whale disappear into space.

That cruel angel finally finished her thesis.



If you got through all that, some bonus features, by which I mean 'memes':





Some day we'll do the sequel game that's just a fun heist at Max VeloCon 3000!

Edited to add: ALSO this absolutely incredible art that is going on my wall

Comments

[sovay]

In an ideal world, we would already have a deal for a twelve-episode anime that we could watch on repeat and create several AMVs about; since this is not an ideal world I am instead simply replicating our extremely exhaustive narrative notes about depressed space whaling hoteliers undergoing painful personal growth, for posterity.

I resent the absence of your deal for a twelve-episode anime.

[skygiants]

It's my FAVORITE anime that doesn't exist and I'm so sad I can't make a recruiter vid!!!

[sovay]

It's my FAVORITE anime that doesn't exist and I'm so sad I can't make a recruiter vid!!!

Who did the art?

[skygiants]

It's from a picrew! We all have like four different versions from four different picrews, because, as I mentioned, we remain a little obsessed, but these are the versions that we overall determined were most representative (though in my mental image of Milo their hair is much more obviously a bad self-cut.)

[sovay]

We all have like four different versions from four different picrews, because, as I mentioned, we remain a little obsessed

I hope you become a Yuletide request.

[alias_sqbr]

I'd be happy to do an edit of an Evangelion screenshot like I did for Pacific Rim. Some of the dvd covers look like they could be fun.

[skygiants]

I'd love to see your take if you feel so moved! :D

[alias_sqbr]

Done! https://alias-sqbr.tumblr.com/post/653697914475102208/a-paintover-of-a-evangelion-dvd-cover-for-the

Despite my cats' best efforts to make me stop drawing and be a more stable lap on a cold day.

[skygiants]

HOLY SHIT, this is incredible! I am overcome!! I seriously keep breaking into a smile every time I look at it. I love the magic alchemy by which you took our picrews and the original Evangelion poses/faces and somehow combined them to bring out the essence of each character .... specific elements that we have been screaming about in the groupchat:

- Val's perfect douchebag eyebrows
- tsundere protagonist Dia
- Milo's dead eyes
- the fact that Arti looks exactly like her picrew and yet also like a thirty-year-old grad student (and not the twelve-year-old that she looks like in the picrew)
- WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED 'GENDO IKARI FACETRACE' WAS THE ELEMENT WE NEEDED TO GIVE CLEO HER KEY AIR OF EXHAUSTED DEPRESSION


THANK YOU FOR MAKING US FANART <333333

[alias_sqbr]

:D :D :D

I have been vastly enjoying the squeeful tag essays on tumblr. Your descriptions of the characters definitely gave me an extra sense of how to draw them, but I'm really glad they came across as in character.

[genarti]

I'm reposting this Artimaea one because it's still my favorite in terms of what I think she actually looks like (although her skin tone is closer to the other) but it is, alas, in a totally different genre than the ones that work best for the others so you made the correct call for the post itself

[genarti]

I resent the absence of your deal for a twelve-episode anime.

ME TOO. The fact that we were drawing consciously on anime influences and describing things reasonably often in terms of what the scene would show means I have all of these incredibly clear mental images of this anime miniseries which, unfortunately, does not actually exist and cannot be shown to anyone else. But I still want to. At least now there's the write-up to point to!

[kore]

I really liked the scenes!

[skygiants]

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed them!

[alias_sqbr]

This was really gripping and entertaining, it reminded me of listening to Counterpoint (before I wimped out). And really, isn't what really matters is that the grad student got to publish their thesis?

[skygiants]

That's an incredibly on-point callout since five of the six of us have been FatT-brained ... and the sixth is not, but fully makes up for it by officially being the biggest anime fan 😂 (it's a rule in-game! the biggest anime fan has to go first!!) Thanks so much for reading, I'm really glad you enjoyed!

[shadaras]

oh my god the sheer emotional whiplash of the ending scene (which made me TEAR UP I completely understand why y'all are obsessed with this) and then you just say "That cruel angel finally finished her thesis.", holy shit, the meme hilarity of that being the last line of the write-up, amazing, incredible.

VERY GOOD STORY +1 on wanting an anime and also a yuletide fandom xD <3

[skygiants]

The moment when we REALIZED we'd ended this born-out-of-an-Evangelion-joke game on Arti finishing her thesis -- now that is narrative carthasis like I will never experience again. Thank you for reading, I'm very glad you enjoyed! :D

[chestnut_pod]

+1 an anime would be fantastic.

Also the thought of riding off into space to Be One With The Whales but STILL having to finish my thesis is perhaps the saddest part of this, for me.

[genarti]

To be fair, I'm pretty sure other people were the ones to finish her thesis after she rode off into space to Be One With The Whales... not sure if that makes it better or worse, but.

[skygiants]

I would counterargue that sending back a bunch of data on your final heroic flight, then having other people have to do all the hard part of writing and compiling it and still getting to be first author has its appeal ...

[chestnut_pod]

You know, you have a point.

[slashmarks]

This is fantastic!

[skygiants]

Thank you!!!

[dhampyresa]

I too would love to watch this anime!

[skygiants]

I WANT TO VID IT SO BADLY AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO 😭

[sophia_sol]

oh no now I'm invested, RUDE, I love this so much

[skygiants]

I am sorry to have dragged you into this pit with us! (I'm not sorry.) Thank you for reading! <3

[kate_nepveu]

* sniff * She went with the whale!!

Maybe a movie by the team that did Space Sweepers?

[genarti]

SHE WENT WITH THE WHALE. You get my vision!!! (I was hoping you'd see this!)

A movie by the team that did Space Sweepers would be, in fact, incredible. The sparkliest of space whales, the ducted-taped-togetherest of cruise ship employee quarters!

[kate_nepveu]

I had it open in a tab since it was posted waiting for time to read it!

And yes, exactly.

[skygiants]

SHE WENT WITH THE WHALE ;_____;

(Captain Jang with her enormous sunglasses was a significant contributor to the DNA of Captain Cleo, a fact which you may have deduced already. >.>)

[kate_nepveu]

I had a strong suspicion, yes!

[bookblather]

Slfjndhljfnh??? I HAD FEELINGS ABOUT ARTI AND THEN SHE JUST LEFT AND I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT ALL OF THIS HOW DARE ALL OF YOU

I mean

ahem

I would watch this twelve-episode anime. Repeatedly.

I Found It!

[sonartaxlaw]

Randomly remembered this a few weeks ago, spent the preceding time trying to find it again and finally did, fantastic work that makes me desperately want to play this with my own table