skygiants

In other news I have gotten quite behind on my December meme posts! I was supposed to do most and least favorite adaptations of books for thady on the twelfth, but this whole weekend got eaten by holiday parties, so we'll just pretend that's today.

It's a hard question to answer though! Can I cheat and count Much Ado About Nothing as a book, even though it's a play? Because the Kenneth Branagh/Emma Thompson Much Ado is so near and dear to my heart, and so VERY MUCH my formative Much Ado, that it's really difficult for me to accept any other adaptations -- even though it has flaws! So many flaws! Kenneth Branagh cut out all of Hero's best bits of dialogue, I know, it's an awful thing, and yet! THE WORLD MUST BE PEOPLED.

Also the Christopher Eccleston Revenger's Tragedy, which if we're talking about INCREDIBLY BIZARRE adaptations of early modern theater is my favorite hands down. One of these days I'm going to picspam this DW mercilessly with screenshots from that film, and then maybe you'll all understand. MAYBE.

Oh, OK, one more thing: I haven't actually seen this yet, so it's definitely cheating, but just the fact that there EXISTS an anime adaptation of A Little Princess that's a space opera about Sarah piloting a giant mecha is ... how can I put this? The knowledge of its existence is a balm to my soul.

As for least favorites ... can we also count books adapted into other books? Because ye gods, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. YE GODS. YOU WERE SO TERRIBLE, AND YOU UNLEASHED SO MANY HORRORS.

This is a fun topic, though. I encourage everyone to come rant about least favorite adaptations, should you feel so inclined!

Last time genarti was in New York, she left me her vintage copy of Frances Hodgson Burnett's The Lost Prince. "It's fun!" she said. "And it's very pretty! If sort of bizarre in parts."

Well, SHE WAS NOT WRONG. If by 'sort of' you put 'completely and utterly'. Basically, I think it is a wonderful horror novel, and I would like to state right now that Stefan Loristan, the father of the hero of the book, is way up there among the most terrifying characters ever created in fiction of all time.

"Becca," you say, "Frances Hodgson Burnett did not write horror novels. Frances Hodgson Burnett wrote heartwarming stories about children fulfilling their dreams!" And maybe that is mostly true. But NOT IN THIS CASE.

So we start out with our protagonists, who are a.) Marco Loristan, who is Upright, Noble, Strong, Virtuous, Vaguely Buddhist, and causes complete strangers to go "what a nice-looking boy!" when he walks by; b.) the Rat, who is crippled, cranky, violent, commands the street urchin armies, and throws a brick at Marco the first time he sees him. Of course I immediately fell in love with the Rat and was rooting for him to throw many more bricks all over the course of the novel! However, within about four chapters, this happens:

Stefan Loristan: How would you like to come sleep on our sofa, The Rat?
The Rat: . . . . . I LOVE AND WORSHIP YOU AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU EVER YOU'RE THE MOST HANDSOME WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD I WOULD DIE FOR YOU DO YOU KNOW THAT?
Stefan Loristan: Yup, pretty much.
The Rat: CAN I SHINE YOUR SHOES AND DO ALL YOUR CHORES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?
Stefan Loristan's Valet: NO. Shining the shoes of the handsomest most wonderful person in the world is MY JOB.
The Rat: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Stefan Loristan's Valet: Okay. Well. Maybe once a week, you can shine his shoes. IF YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.
The Rat: Dude, if I were you, I would not share the shoe-shining duties with ANYONE, I would hoard all the shoe-shining to myself!

Then Stefan Loristan cheerfully sends his 12-year-old son Marco off with the 13-year-old Rat - on his crutches - as a bodyguard. On a dangerous mission to Bring Back the Samavian Monarchy. All around the world. With no money and no adults. And after impressing on them both the value of dying for their country, and after the Rat promises happily to die for Marco if necessary. Because Stefan Loristan is after all the kindest noblest handsomest most responsible man in the world!

The only conclusion is that Stefan Loristan possesses terrifying powers of brainwashing and is going to use them to conquer the world. At the end of the book he has only really conquered a country, but I AM SURE THIS IS JUST THE START.

(There are probably lots of other interesting things to say about the book - about the pseudo-Buddhism - pseuddhism? - and the divine right of kings and the urchins happily signing up to die for the far-off land of Samavia and the evil foreign lady spy and so on - but really I have nothing to say about these, they are all drowned out in a wave of STEFAN LORISTAN SO SCARY.)

So, in my head, what happens after the end of the book is that the Rat uses his cynicism and crankiness to finally break free of the brainwashing, and, though he and Marco are naturally crushed by the fall of their idol, they learn a valuable lesson about outward appearances and use their street urchin army to defeat Stefan's plan to tyrannize the world and set up a wonderful democracy!

And with that postcanon firmly in mind, this is an awesome book.