skygiants: (swan)
I have been waiting since 2009 for any news of Yxta Maya Murray's rumored new Lola Sanchez book to come out. (For those unfamiliar, the Lola Sanchez books have the spirit of the Indiana Jones franchise, except the protagonist is a Mexican-American bookstore-owning fantasy geek following in the footsteps of her reckless hotshot professor mom. They are EXACTLY AS DELIGHTFUL as one would expect.) The new one is supposed to be about Che Guevara using EXCALIBUR and it is likely to be a balm to my crack-loving soul, but I cannot find out anything about it! So finally in sorrow and desperation I went back and read one of her non-Lola Sanchez books, The Conquest.

The Conquest, pros:
1. The main plot centers around rare book preserver Sara Gonzalez's effort to prove that the book-within-a-book that she's working on is not an sensationalist sixteenth-century novel, but was in fact actually written by its cross-dressing lesbian juggling assassin Aztec princess protagonist, which ties in a lot of really fascinating questions about authorship and appropriation and the voices that survive!
2. DID I MENTION THE CROSS-DRESSING LESBIAN JUGGLING ASSASSIN AZTEC PRINCESS? (No seriously, her grand plan is to assassinate various people involved in the conquest of Mexico with the POWER OF JUGGLING. *___* Then she falls in love with a decadent intellectual nun and they have sex all over the nunnery.)
3. Okay, this is a relatively small detail, but there is a subplot about Sara's boss who secretly throws open the museum once a month for WILD HEDONISTIC HISTORIAN PARTIES where they unleash their wildest urges . . . to make out on all the antique furniture and fetishistically try on the carefully preserved historical outfits! This is so believable and hilarious to me.


The Conquest, cons:
1. I hate Sara's love story so, so much. She has this true and epic love with a marine who she's been dating since high school (and who appears to be the only connection outside her family that she's ever made), and the book begins at the point at which they have FINALLY broken up after ten years of having completely incompatible life goals, and he is engaged to someone else, and this entire part of the plot is her trying to convince him that their love is true and epic and he should ditch this other person and it made me incredibly annoyed at her every time it came up. Look, it's sad, but your life goals clearly are incompatible! You used your engagement ring money to buy a rare book! MOVE ON.
2. In a way, I wish this book did not have the serious goals that it clearly does. Because on the one hand, I very much sympathize and agree with Yxta Maya Murray's points, but on the other hand it makes the surreal, cracked-out, over-the-top, completely implausible as even trying for sixteenth-century writing of the book-within-a-book much more jarring. It's like if someone pulled out an Angela Carter short story and tried to pass it off as coming from the Renaissance. Yxta Maya Murray clearly just does not care and is not even trying, and maybe I shouldn't either, but . . . I do!

So in the end I am still really waiting for the next Lola Sanchez book, though the juggling assassin Aztec princess did do its part to tide me over.
skygiants: Princess Tutu, facing darkness with a green light in the distance (not just decorative)
1. I am exhausted. This is [livejournal.com profile] jothra's fault (AS SO MANY THINGS ARE) because, thanks to her, I did not go to bed until close to 3 last night because I was skimming through the ~epic fantasy novel~ I was writing in high school. IT WAS SO PAINFUL BUT I COULD NOT STOP. The second file (pages 62-134) is entirely composed of the protagonist and her were-unicorn boyfriend wandering through the forest together, alternately yelling at each other about how their love could never be and making out. SEVENTY PAGES OF THIS. Midway through I was struck by the terrified realization that this made it basically Twilight but with more shouting. And were-unicorns.

2. Normally, all I bring to work is a small shoulder bag that holds mostly my wallet and a book. Today, I have my (large) laptop, a giant thing of stationary, and eight oversized (and mostly overdue) library books stuffed in as well. (Not all of the library books would fit; I carried one under my arm.) Therefore, of course, today is the day that my nearest subway station was overtaken by police officers searching everything that came through. I got the officer who went "What's that? Sci-fi books? LOL!" and tried to engage me in conversation about the new V while I tried to drill the message "I AM ALREADY LATE TO WORK" into his skull using only the power of my miiiiind.

3. However, everything is made better by the cracktastic joy of the book I finished yesterday - the sequel to The Queen Jade (like Indiana Jones! But starring a geeky Mexican-American woman!), The King's Gold is like the first but on TWICE THE CRACK. I cannot decide which is my favorite detail:

- the fact that protagonist Lola starts out the first chapter dressed in a Mists of Avalon cosplay outfit dorking out about the text message abilities on her new cell phone

- the fact that, not content with the craziness of actual historical Medicis, Yxta Maya Murray makes up her own, even crazier, WEREWOLF MEDICI

- the part 3/4 of the way through the book where, irritated by her failure to respond to their text messages, Lola's ENTIRE FAMILY decides to come to Italy to go questing for hidden Aztec treasure with her (Lola is basically just like "MOOOOOOOOM!")

- ADRIANA, Algerian art intern and Best Side Character Ever, who successfully distracts the villain and Lola's boyfriend from attacking each other by giving them a POP QUIZ IN ART HISTORY

- speaking of the dangerous bad-boy possibly-redeemable-villain with a crush on Lola: the way he both completely embodies and completely FAILS the brooding rules of manpain (see the glorious manpain chart for details. (Really I just wanted an excuse to link to the manpain chart.)) For example, this amazing exchange, when he's explaining why he took a break from stalking Lola:

"I was tired."

"Tired?"

"Having trouble with the euphemism? I mean
depressed. Sick. Sad. Suicidal. What do you think I mean? My father's dead. And my cousin's dead. And Estrada. Who was my friend [. . .] I had hoped to avoid such ugliness. But APPARENTLY THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME."

I WAS CRYING WITH LAUGHTER. DEPRESSED. SICK. SAD. SUICIDAL. GET IT ALL OUT, EMO VILLAIN DUDE. (Okay, the final allcaps are mine, but all the italics are Yxta Maya Murray's!)

So basically this book was gloriously ridiculous and filled me with ridiculous joy all throughout. HOWEVER. I am MOST EXCITED by the premise of the third one, in which our heroes go hunting King Arthur's sword . . . because, as Yxta Maya Murray cheerfully explains in an interview in the back, "rumor has it that Che Guevara somehow got his hands on the sword once owned by the Lady of the Lake and used it to wage his most ferocious rebellions, and it was somehow lost in the wilds of South America"!

EXCALIBUR BY WAY OF CHE GUEVARA.

BEST ARTHURIAN RELICS PLOT EVER Y/Y??????
skygiants: Katara from Avatar: the Last Airbender; text 'just kicked butt' (katara kicks butt)
Okay, so Yxta Maya Murray's The Queen Jade is basically like an Indiana Jones movie, right? Except instead of Indy you have Lola Sanchez, a Mexican-American fantasy/adventure bookstore owner who occasionally hosts Tolkein LARPS. And instead of Indy's adventure-loving hotshot professor dad who kicks off the plot by heading off alone into danger and disappearing, you have Lola's adventure-loving hotshot professor mom who kicks off the plot by heading off alone into the jungle and disappearing. And instead of the furious abandoned love interest that the protagonist statutory-raped way back when, you have Yolanda, the furious abandoned archaeologist/GUATEMALAN FREEDOM FIGHTER who was Lola's childhood BFF before the unfortunate incident where Yolanda's dad kind of tried to kill Lola's.

IF YOU DON'T THINK THIS IS AWESOME I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU.

(There is also an actual dude love interest, but the dramatic tension is all about Yolanda, which is as it should be, because she is a badass. Also she and Lola spend a lot more time wrestling on the floor and dramatically accusing each other of betrayal and HEARTBREAK than Lola and her boyfriend ever do.)

Though I have to say, uh, don't go into this expecting good archaeology and if you are a linguistics or ancient languages major you can probably expect to cry. Murray is a law professor, not an archaeologist, and it shows. (There is a part where they decipher an ancient Mayan cipher that is based on word order. IT HURTS. ;_;) As is standard, there are also the requisite scenes where people stand around "as-you-know-Bob"-ing about things that they clearly already know and need the reader to as well to understand the plot. So basically it is exactly like an Indiana Jones movie, except for the part where the plot is completely driven by awesome ladies of color! WHAT COULD BE BAD.

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