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Jun. 15th, 2016 10:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsThere is an amazing diner on the Connecticut-NY border called Traveler Restaurant with shelves full of books, and every time you eat a meal there you are allowed to leave with THREE (three!!!) of the most interesting-looking books that you can find.
genarti and I discovered this last time we were driving back from NY, at which point I acquired Jessamy Court, which promised to be the most 70's type of Gothic novel imaginable AND INDEED IT WAS.
Jessamy Court begins when Our Heroine Rachel gets a phone call from the hospital.
A KINDLY DOCTOR: Your friend Stephanie is comatose! ... from SHOCK!
RACHEL: What happened?
A KINDLY DOCTOR: Well, we assume something VERY SHOCKING! But we cannot cure her unless we know what. Anyway, since her famous estranged prima ballerina mother died last week and she has no other family or other friends, it is up to you to take responsibility for her --
RACHEL: You mean, by paying for her medical bills?
A KINDLY DOCTOR: No, of course not, we are not worried about bills here! I mean by taking her keys and breaking into her house to find out what might have shocked her into a coma.
RACHEL: ......
But Rachel obediently goes and rifles through all of Stephanie's stuff, and finds there a letter from Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's ex asking Stephanie to come visit Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's country mansion.
RACHEL: Hmmm, I wonder if this could have to do with whatever SHOCKING THING caused Stephanie's collapse!
RACHEL: ...well, I guess the only responsible choice left to me, as a concerned friend, is to impersonate Stephanie while she's in a coma and travel up there to find out what's what! This is definitely a normal friend thing to do and I'm sure I would disappoint that nice doctor if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity.
And off Rachel jets up to Jessamy Court, where of course she encounters two hot men:
FABIAN, Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's ex, a well-known ARCHITECT/MOUNTAIN CLIMBER/THEATRICAL SET DESIGNER with a SINISTER CHARM who can now no longer climb mountains due to a tragic leg injury which MIGHT have been Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's fault
DOMINICK, Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's SAD PIANIST, a charming blonde musician with a face like SUNLIGHT
Fabian spends most of his time negging Rachel!Stephanie, encouraging Rachel!Stephanie to jump across deep unstable trenches, ordering Rachel!Stephanie more drinks after she has firmly said she doesn't want any more, remarking on how Rachel!Stephanie was BASICALLY ALMOST his stepdaughter, and occasionally kissing Rachel!Stephanie against her will. He also throws small children out of cars. Dominick, meanwhile, is perfectly nice throughout. As a result, the experienced Gothic novel reader will immediately suspect that Dominick is PROBABLY a murderer and Fabian is MOST LIKELY Rachel's True Love.
Fabian also spends a lot of time trying to mansplain to Rachel!Stephanie that the fact that Stephanie's Estranged Prima Donna Ballerina Mother super explicitly didn't love her and kicked her out of the house when she was like six wasn't really all that bad, and Stephanie should just BUCK UP and get over it already.
(My favorite bit of Fabian dialogue: "Damn everything ... damn all things ...." DAMN ALL THE THINGS!!!)
Jessamy Court also contains a helpful and/or sinister local witch with two helpful and/or sinister grandchildren who are constantly popping up to make sinister pronouncements.
As Stephanie's only concerned friend, Rachel does call back to the hospital relatively frequently to make sure that Stephanie is OK (as long as she can do so from a secluded telephone where no one can hear her weirdly asking for information about herself.) Eventually, she finds out that Stephanie has recovered from her coma on her own and checked herself out of the hospital!
RACHEL: Hmm, given that the whole reason I am up here is to find out information that will help Stephanie wake up from her coma, and I am definitely impersonating Stephanie without her consent, maybe I should just explain the whole thing now and go home straightaway to enjoy the rest of my vacation ...?
RACHEL: Nah.
There are also a couple of fantastically convoluted Gothic novel attempts at murder. I think my favorite involves pointedly withholding a phone message about risky scenery from someone and then pointedly mentioning that they might want to encourage a third party to check out a piece of statuary on the risky scenery! MURDER MOST EFFICIENT. 'Goading someone else into challenge you to a rock-climbing contest, then attempting to bash that person over the head with a rock while in the middle of rock-climbing' is also pretty great.
genarti and I discovered this last time we were driving back from NY, at which point I acquired Jessamy Court, which promised to be the most 70's type of Gothic novel imaginable AND INDEED IT WAS.Jessamy Court begins when Our Heroine Rachel gets a phone call from the hospital.
A KINDLY DOCTOR: Your friend Stephanie is comatose! ... from SHOCK!
RACHEL: What happened?
A KINDLY DOCTOR: Well, we assume something VERY SHOCKING! But we cannot cure her unless we know what. Anyway, since her famous estranged prima ballerina mother died last week and she has no other family or other friends, it is up to you to take responsibility for her --
RACHEL: You mean, by paying for her medical bills?
A KINDLY DOCTOR: No, of course not, we are not worried about bills here! I mean by taking her keys and breaking into her house to find out what might have shocked her into a coma.
RACHEL: ......
But Rachel obediently goes and rifles through all of Stephanie's stuff, and finds there a letter from Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's ex asking Stephanie to come visit Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's country mansion.
RACHEL: Hmmm, I wonder if this could have to do with whatever SHOCKING THING caused Stephanie's collapse!
RACHEL: ...well, I guess the only responsible choice left to me, as a concerned friend, is to impersonate Stephanie while she's in a coma and travel up there to find out what's what! This is definitely a normal friend thing to do and I'm sure I would disappoint that nice doctor if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity.
And off Rachel jets up to Jessamy Court, where of course she encounters two hot men:
FABIAN, Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's ex, a well-known ARCHITECT/MOUNTAIN CLIMBER/THEATRICAL SET DESIGNER with a SINISTER CHARM who can now no longer climb mountains due to a tragic leg injury which MIGHT have been Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's fault
DOMINICK, Stephanie's famous estranged prima ballerina mother's SAD PIANIST, a charming blonde musician with a face like SUNLIGHT
Fabian spends most of his time negging Rachel!Stephanie, encouraging Rachel!Stephanie to jump across deep unstable trenches, ordering Rachel!Stephanie more drinks after she has firmly said she doesn't want any more, remarking on how Rachel!Stephanie was BASICALLY ALMOST his stepdaughter, and occasionally kissing Rachel!Stephanie against her will. He also throws small children out of cars. Dominick, meanwhile, is perfectly nice throughout. As a result, the experienced Gothic novel reader will immediately suspect that Dominick is PROBABLY a murderer and Fabian is MOST LIKELY Rachel's True Love.
Fabian also spends a lot of time trying to mansplain to Rachel!Stephanie that the fact that Stephanie's Estranged Prima Donna Ballerina Mother super explicitly didn't love her and kicked her out of the house when she was like six wasn't really all that bad, and Stephanie should just BUCK UP and get over it already.
(My favorite bit of Fabian dialogue: "Damn everything ... damn all things ...." DAMN ALL THE THINGS!!!)
Jessamy Court also contains a helpful and/or sinister local witch with two helpful and/or sinister grandchildren who are constantly popping up to make sinister pronouncements.
As Stephanie's only concerned friend, Rachel does call back to the hospital relatively frequently to make sure that Stephanie is OK (as long as she can do so from a secluded telephone where no one can hear her weirdly asking for information about herself.) Eventually, she finds out that Stephanie has recovered from her coma on her own and checked herself out of the hospital!
RACHEL: Hmm, given that the whole reason I am up here is to find out information that will help Stephanie wake up from her coma, and I am definitely impersonating Stephanie without her consent, maybe I should just explain the whole thing now and go home straightaway to enjoy the rest of my vacation ...?
RACHEL: Nah.
There are also a couple of fantastically convoluted Gothic novel attempts at murder. I think my favorite involves pointedly withholding a phone message about risky scenery from someone and then pointedly mentioning that they might want to encourage a third party to check out a piece of statuary on the risky scenery! MURDER MOST EFFICIENT. 'Goading someone else into challenge you to a rock-climbing contest, then attempting to bash that person over the head with a rock while in the middle of rock-climbing' is also pretty great.
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Date: 2016-06-16 03:44 am (UTC)Aww, but -- but -- cute sad blonde pianist!
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Date: 2016-06-16 04:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 07:00 am (UTC)Yes! I have gotten some very good books from them over the years.
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:10 pm (UTC)My family was known to take convoluted routes to or from NYC just to stop there. Like Rein's Deli. I think it is a legitimate travel philosophy.
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Date: 2016-06-16 10:56 pm (UTC)Eminently!
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Date: 2016-06-16 09:10 am (UTC)My sisters and I used to test each other on Mary Stewart plots. Key questions were: "What was the name of the one who was all nice and kind and helpful at the start but turned out to be evil?" and "What was the name of the one who was deeply suspicious/sinister/accused of murder at the start but turned out to be sadly misunderstood and had to be fallen in love with eventually?"
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 10:44 am (UTC)I am seriously considering renaming my journal to this. :D
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 11:33 am (UTC)I seriously thought I was reading some bizarre House fanfic for a moment.
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 11:47 am (UTC)(But what were the other 2 books? Were they EVEN MORE AMAZING? I really want to go to this diner...)
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 01:12 pm (UTC)That sounds AMAZING!
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Date: 2016-06-16 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-16 06:20 pm (UTC)