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Sep. 2nd, 2018 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skygiantsWe're done with Season 4 of the Clone Wars! I now understand all the jokes about Darth Maul's spider legs!
11. Kidnapped
Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan go looking for missing Togruta colonists who have been kidnapped by slavers. Anakin Slavery Issues, Activate! I'm glad we're getting some time with Anakin's past but also it would be nice if we spent a little time on the fact that it's Ahsoka's people who were kidnapped, which, alas, we don't.
12. Slaves of the Republic
But, I mean, "let's deal with the ongoing issue of slavery in the Republic, IT'S BAD" is a theme worth addressing, especially when the whole gang has to get disguises and pretend like they understand the concepts of "stealth" and "undercover."
It does seem a little obvious for Ahsoka to be the slave girl, and also, like, bad management practice? If you're a good boss, you don't put your intern in a position where they're going to have to deal with the most shit and potential abuse, you take that on yourself because you have more experience and you get paid more to deal with it! OBI-WAN should have been the fake slave in the slinky outfit. (I mean, he does get captured and end up a slave anyway, but still.)
Also, Rex is in this arc. Things I would like to see in this arc: Rex, A CLONE, getting as much time to Reflect on the Republic and Slavery as Anakin does. Thanks, Clone Wars producers, it's a great first draft, here are my notes for improvement.
13. Escape from Kadavo
In the conclusion of the "let's rescue a bunch of colonists and also whoops ourselves" from slavery arc, not sure how I feel about Anakin's weird moments of bonding with the slaver queen/her vaguely redemptive death. But Ahsoka does finally get to talk to another Togruta!
14. A Friend In Need
It's time to hang out with Ahsoka's stupid-but-pretty ex-Separatist flirt-friend Lux Bonteri!
AHSOKA: Okay, so you want to fight Count Dooku? Great, we are SO short-staffed -
LUX BONTERI: No, I do not want to join the Alliance, I want to hang out with these Mandalorian terrorists.
AHSOKA: Why ...?
LUX BONTERI: They want to kill Count Dooku for [footage not found; we have never see the Mandalorian terrorists fighting with Count Dooku] and so do I!
AHSOKA: SO MANY people want to kill Count Dooku who aren't Mandalorian terrorists!
Anyway it takes the Mandalorian terrorists gratuitously murdering helpless villagers for fun to convince Lux that they're slightly more evil than he wants to sign on with, but it's all worth it when R2-D2 triumphantly repairs a bunch of banged-up terrorist droids and leads them in a droid rebellion to free Ahsoka. LET R2-D2 KEEP HIS DROID ARMY.
15. Deception
It's the arc where Obi-Wan fakes his own death and goes undercover as his own murderer so he can foil a plot to kidnap Senator Palpatine! In this particular episode, Obi-Wan makes some new bounty hunter friends in jail and starts a prison riot in which SEVERAL people probably die.
A couple points about this arc:
a.) we all agree that it is flat-out hilarious that Palpatine is engineering an evil plan to have himself kidnapped, right? I mean I have to believe Palpatine ALSO finds it flat-out hilarious and this is why he does it, because there is no other explanation.
b.) "oh I'm just gonna let Anakin think I'm dead for a couple weeks, it'll be fine, he'll let it go" is maybe the worst idea in the whole history of Obi-Wan's ideas. I mean. Obi-Wan. Buddy. Pal. Have you ... met Anakin .......
16. Friends and Enemies
Obi-Wan is off on a life-changing field trip with his new bounty hunter friends! Meanwhile, in THE WORLD'S MOST PREDICTABLE DEVELOPMENT, Anakin is off on a revenge quest to Destroy Obi-Wan's Murderer! TIME FOR AN INCREDIBLY AVOIDABLE FIGHT SCENE.
As a sidenote,innerbrat and I were both extremely impressed by the voice acting work James Arnold Taylor does in this arc, in which he has to use a completely different voice timbre and accent from Ewan McGregor's while still sounding like Ewan McGregor, and does so extremely successfully!
17. The Box
In which Count Dooku assembles a crack kidnapping-senator-Palpatine team!
...so he can murder more than half of them in an INCREDIBLY RIDICULOUS Hunger Games competition for The Galaxy's Next Top Palpatine Kidnappers!
This entire episode is nonsense, but I have to admit I enjoy Obi-Wan's developing bromance with Cad Bane (because it's not like Obi-Wan ever met a stylish enemy he didn't want to flirt with.)
18. Crisis on Naboo
PADME: Chancellor Palpatine, welcome home to Naboo!
ME: .... Palpatine's from Naboo?
DEBI: Palpatine has always been from Naboo!
ME: I HAD NO MEMORY OF THIS.
It's the thrilling conclusion to Palpatine's "I will establish a crack strike team to kidnap myself" plan, which is eventually foiled, but, like ... what would he have done if they'd succeeded and suddenly someone else is temporarily in charge of the Republic? OOPS, THEY'RE WINNING THE WAR. NOW WHAT.
(In other, unsurprising emotional notes: Anakin and Bane both feel deeply betrayed by Obi-Wan and his ill-conceived identity shenanigans. Jedi, have a care what hearts you break!)
19. Massacre
My relationship with Ventress' Nightsister family is weird, because, like, on the one hand, they're definitely kind of evil and there's the murder and the necromancy and the brainwashing and all, and ON THE OTHER HAND Ventress is SO HAPPY to have a chance to settle down and bond with her all-female community and we're so into it!
This Nightsister in particular takes time to flirt with Ventress and introduce herself by name:
innerbrat: OH NO, why did she give her name, now we know she's gonna die!
....possibly if we'd looked at the episode title in advance we would have been more prepared for the fact that not just cute named Nightsisters but in fact LITERALLY EVERYONE was doomed in the oncoming Separatist battle. I'm sorry, Ventress! I wish you'd gotten more than a hot second to enjoy your time in your evil-but-supportive lesbian commune!
20. Bounty
What DO you do in the Star Wars universe when your old boss murdered your entire lesbian commune?
...become a bounty hunter, apparently! Ventress teams up with BOBA FETT and his CRACK TEAM to deliver a MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE on a TRAIN. The mysterious package of course turns out to contain an unwilling person, because that's how mysterious packages roll, at which point it became a race to the redemption finish as Debi and I frantically attempted to guess whether Boba Fett or Ventress was going to be the one who had too many Feelings about Personhood, Slavery, and Losing Your Family to finish the mission. Either honestly seemed plausible!
21. Brothers
Savage Oppress goes in quest of his brother and finds SPIDER LEGS DARTH MAUL.
Since seeing this episode, I have asked everyone I know who knows Star Wars to explain to me how Darth Maul got his spider legs in the first place, and nobody has been able to do so. This is an open invitation.
22. Revenge
Ventress rescues Obi-Wan from Darth Maul and Savage Oppress! I spend the entire episode wishing it was in any way plausible that Ventress was going to be a series regular for Season 5! LET HER BE THEIR TERRIBLE TEAMMATE.
11. Kidnapped
Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan go looking for missing Togruta colonists who have been kidnapped by slavers. Anakin Slavery Issues, Activate! I'm glad we're getting some time with Anakin's past but also it would be nice if we spent a little time on the fact that it's Ahsoka's people who were kidnapped, which, alas, we don't.
12. Slaves of the Republic
But, I mean, "let's deal with the ongoing issue of slavery in the Republic, IT'S BAD" is a theme worth addressing, especially when the whole gang has to get disguises and pretend like they understand the concepts of "stealth" and "undercover."
It does seem a little obvious for Ahsoka to be the slave girl, and also, like, bad management practice? If you're a good boss, you don't put your intern in a position where they're going to have to deal with the most shit and potential abuse, you take that on yourself because you have more experience and you get paid more to deal with it! OBI-WAN should have been the fake slave in the slinky outfit. (I mean, he does get captured and end up a slave anyway, but still.)
Also, Rex is in this arc. Things I would like to see in this arc: Rex, A CLONE, getting as much time to Reflect on the Republic and Slavery as Anakin does. Thanks, Clone Wars producers, it's a great first draft, here are my notes for improvement.
13. Escape from Kadavo
In the conclusion of the "let's rescue a bunch of colonists and also whoops ourselves" from slavery arc, not sure how I feel about Anakin's weird moments of bonding with the slaver queen/her vaguely redemptive death. But Ahsoka does finally get to talk to another Togruta!
14. A Friend In Need
It's time to hang out with Ahsoka's stupid-but-pretty ex-Separatist flirt-friend Lux Bonteri!
AHSOKA: Okay, so you want to fight Count Dooku? Great, we are SO short-staffed -
LUX BONTERI: No, I do not want to join the Alliance, I want to hang out with these Mandalorian terrorists.
AHSOKA: Why ...?
LUX BONTERI: They want to kill Count Dooku for [footage not found; we have never see the Mandalorian terrorists fighting with Count Dooku] and so do I!
AHSOKA: SO MANY people want to kill Count Dooku who aren't Mandalorian terrorists!
Anyway it takes the Mandalorian terrorists gratuitously murdering helpless villagers for fun to convince Lux that they're slightly more evil than he wants to sign on with, but it's all worth it when R2-D2 triumphantly repairs a bunch of banged-up terrorist droids and leads them in a droid rebellion to free Ahsoka. LET R2-D2 KEEP HIS DROID ARMY.
15. Deception
It's the arc where Obi-Wan fakes his own death and goes undercover as his own murderer so he can foil a plot to kidnap Senator Palpatine! In this particular episode, Obi-Wan makes some new bounty hunter friends in jail and starts a prison riot in which SEVERAL people probably die.
A couple points about this arc:
a.) we all agree that it is flat-out hilarious that Palpatine is engineering an evil plan to have himself kidnapped, right? I mean I have to believe Palpatine ALSO finds it flat-out hilarious and this is why he does it, because there is no other explanation.
b.) "oh I'm just gonna let Anakin think I'm dead for a couple weeks, it'll be fine, he'll let it go" is maybe the worst idea in the whole history of Obi-Wan's ideas. I mean. Obi-Wan. Buddy. Pal. Have you ... met Anakin .......
16. Friends and Enemies
Obi-Wan is off on a life-changing field trip with his new bounty hunter friends! Meanwhile, in THE WORLD'S MOST PREDICTABLE DEVELOPMENT, Anakin is off on a revenge quest to Destroy Obi-Wan's Murderer! TIME FOR AN INCREDIBLY AVOIDABLE FIGHT SCENE.
As a sidenote,
innerbrat and I were both extremely impressed by the voice acting work James Arnold Taylor does in this arc, in which he has to use a completely different voice timbre and accent from Ewan McGregor's while still sounding like Ewan McGregor, and does so extremely successfully!17. The Box
In which Count Dooku assembles a crack kidnapping-senator-Palpatine team!
...so he can murder more than half of them in an INCREDIBLY RIDICULOUS Hunger Games competition for The Galaxy's Next Top Palpatine Kidnappers!
This entire episode is nonsense, but I have to admit I enjoy Obi-Wan's developing bromance with Cad Bane (because it's not like Obi-Wan ever met a stylish enemy he didn't want to flirt with.)
18. Crisis on Naboo
PADME: Chancellor Palpatine, welcome home to Naboo!
ME: .... Palpatine's from Naboo?
DEBI: Palpatine has always been from Naboo!
ME: I HAD NO MEMORY OF THIS.
It's the thrilling conclusion to Palpatine's "I will establish a crack strike team to kidnap myself" plan, which is eventually foiled, but, like ... what would he have done if they'd succeeded and suddenly someone else is temporarily in charge of the Republic? OOPS, THEY'RE WINNING THE WAR. NOW WHAT.
(In other, unsurprising emotional notes: Anakin and Bane both feel deeply betrayed by Obi-Wan and his ill-conceived identity shenanigans. Jedi, have a care what hearts you break!)
19. Massacre
My relationship with Ventress' Nightsister family is weird, because, like, on the one hand, they're definitely kind of evil and there's the murder and the necromancy and the brainwashing and all, and ON THE OTHER HAND Ventress is SO HAPPY to have a chance to settle down and bond with her all-female community and we're so into it!
This Nightsister in particular takes time to flirt with Ventress and introduce herself by name:
innerbrat: OH NO, why did she give her name, now we know she's gonna die!....possibly if we'd looked at the episode title in advance we would have been more prepared for the fact that not just cute named Nightsisters but in fact LITERALLY EVERYONE was doomed in the oncoming Separatist battle. I'm sorry, Ventress! I wish you'd gotten more than a hot second to enjoy your time in your evil-but-supportive lesbian commune!
20. Bounty
What DO you do in the Star Wars universe when your old boss murdered your entire lesbian commune?
...become a bounty hunter, apparently! Ventress teams up with BOBA FETT and his CRACK TEAM to deliver a MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE on a TRAIN. The mysterious package of course turns out to contain an unwilling person, because that's how mysterious packages roll, at which point it became a race to the redemption finish as Debi and I frantically attempted to guess whether Boba Fett or Ventress was going to be the one who had too many Feelings about Personhood, Slavery, and Losing Your Family to finish the mission. Either honestly seemed plausible!
21. Brothers
Savage Oppress goes in quest of his brother and finds SPIDER LEGS DARTH MAUL.
Since seeing this episode, I have asked everyone I know who knows Star Wars to explain to me how Darth Maul got his spider legs in the first place, and nobody has been able to do so. This is an open invitation.
22. Revenge
Ventress rescues Obi-Wan from Darth Maul and Savage Oppress! I spend the entire episode wishing it was in any way plausible that Ventress was going to be a series regular for Season 5! LET HER BE THEIR TERRIBLE TEAMMATE.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-02 02:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-02 03:23 pm (UTC)Ugh. Lux Bonteri. But isn't this the episode where Ahsoka just straight up decapitates four members of the Death Watch? I love her so much.
I also wish they hadn't made Ahsoka the slave girl, though her expressions when Anakin is "acting" are hilarious. And yeah, I feel like they could have done a lot more than what they did do here, both with Anakin and with Rex, though some of the things they did do surprised me - that they even implied that Anakin slept with the queen under duress was an eye-opener to me, though I guess on a show where a 15yo decapitates four dudes like it's nothing, maybe it shouldn't have been.
Ventress rescues Obi-Wan from Darth Maul and Savage Oppress! I spend the entire episode wishing it was in any way plausible that Ventress was going to be a series regular for Season 5! LET HER BE THEIR TERRIBLE TEAMMATE.
She's so great! And her flirtation with Obi-Wan never gets old.
"oh I'm just gonna let Anakin think I'm dead for a couple weeks, it'll be fine, he'll let it go" is maybe the worst idea in the whole history of Obi-Wan's ideas. I mean. Obi-Wan. Buddy. Pal. Have you ... met Anakin .......
I know, right? Like, I love Obi-Wan, but that was just...poor planning all around from a guy who is a genius strategist. And Palpatine absolutely is doing all of this for the kicks. Though possibly he also knew that the Jedi would keep it from Anakin, thus deepening the cracks in his relationship with Obi-Wan.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 02:23 am (UTC)Yeah, I spent that whole arc caught between being really interested in what they were doing, and wishing for an equal amount of focus on everyone else as well as Anakin. Ahsoka and Rex both could have had really interesting and personal connections to play on here that largely went unnoticed.
VENTRESS AND OBI-WAN'S FLIRTATION IS MY FAVORITE, it's so consistently funny!!
I was watching the Deception arc when I got into an discussion with a friend about whether Obi-Wan was a good role model - they were arguing yes and I was like 'given current evidence I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT AGREE.'
no subject
Date: 2018-09-02 06:08 pm (UTC)Has she previously not met any members of her own species?
Obi-Wan's developing bromance with Cad Bane
That is a ridiculous villain name.
and Savage Oppress!
I forgot about that villain name!
no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 02:25 am (UTC)Star Wars commits to villain names in a way that's honestly hard to beat!
no subject
Date: 2018-09-02 10:41 pm (UTC)Also I agree that the Deception arc is both really dumb and really hilarious. I assume Palpatine is just doing stuff for shits and giggles at this point? I guess when you're winning so easily you have to entertain yourself somehow.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 02:30 am (UTC)Yeah, my assumption about pretty much all of Palpatine's decisions at this point are 'for the lolz' -- there's only so long you can play 3D chess with yourself without developing an elaborate series of extremely inside jokes.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 03:25 am (UTC)The other one is that apparently the spider-legs were made out of junk from the junk planet that Maul was on...? But that brings up a host of OTHER questions so really, who the hell even knows, the rationale was probably "ROBOT SPIDER LEGS ARE COOL."
no subject
Date: 2018-09-05 12:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-08 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-03 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-05 12:20 am (UTC)...either that, or: "I want someone to videotape him at the funeral for me so I can watch it later!"
no subject
Date: 2018-09-04 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-05 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-09-08 04:44 pm (UTC)